I like to create friends and allies everywhere I go. It’s the way I am wired. If you asked me what my number one hobby is I would say befriending. Or turning strangers into friends. Like Courtney Cox and David Schwimmer.
I develop strong friendships quickly. And my friends are like snowflakes. Meaning they are special, not cold and icy. They are all different. And they all add to my life in unique ways. Like human seasoning. #MrsDash
We are repeatedly told that to be successful in our careers and in our lives we need to network. But I don’t think of networking as networking. It isn’t shallow and transactional for me. Instead, I spend real time befriending people. I don’t expect to get anything in return, other than an additional friend. I wrote about my approach to befriending in the post, Why I hate networking, and what I do instead.
But a funny thing happens when you develop a lot of friends. You develop a lot of allies. People who look out for you, who advocate for you. People who alert you to opportunities. And people who invite you to things.
New Business Opportunities
When I am not making friends, road-tripping out west with my family, or writing blog posts, I own an advertising and idea agency called The Weaponry. Last week I had two new business meetings, both of which arose because friends of mine submitted my name for interesting opportunities I wouldn’t have known about otherwise.
The first came from a neighbor of mine in Atlanta who introduced me to a friend of hers who was looking for marketing help. (Thanks Jennifer!)
The second came from a friend of mine who knew that his organization in Chicago was looking for advertising help, and thought we might be a great fit. (Thanks Arun!)
Through those new business calls, I feel like I befriended 3 new people that I really liked. Even if we don’t do work together (which I hope we do), I already profited by adding to my friend collection.
However, the benefits of befriending others goes far beyond business and career success. Yesterday I had to return an audiobook to the library. I hadn’t had it very long, but I got a notice that I couldn’t renew it.
The book is called Last Stand. It is not about the end of nightstands as we know them. It is about Custer, Sitting Bull and the Battle Of Little Big Horn. Following my recent road trip out west, that I wrote about in When was the last time you became a different person?, I have an exciting new geographical awareness to apply to this historic American tale.
I am about halfway through the book, and things are getting really good. Well, things are getting really good for me as the reader, and about to get really bad for General Custer. So when I stopped by the library I planned to ask if I could return the book and check it out immediately.
Luckily for me, my favorite librarian was working yesterday. I will call her Page to protect her identity. Page is probably in her 60s, and looks like she knows her way around the Dewey Decimal System. I always joke around with Page. So I expect I stand apart from most people she deals with at the library. Plus, I usually wear flip flops, which creates a flagrant noise violation in the ‘Brary. Which gives me more to discuss with the staff.
I told Page that I was loving my book, like McDonald’s, but wasn’t quite done with it. So I was really hoping I could check it out again. I handed her the audiobook case and she looked it up in her Librarian machine. She then said, ‘Someone has a hold on this book, so you can’t renew it.’
I made a disappointed boo boo face by sticking out my bottom lip and pretending I was about to cry. I was obviously just trying to be funny. Page laughed. Then she paused a moment, and looked around to see if anyone was listening. They weren’t. So she leaned towards me and said in a quiet voice, ‘We aren’t collecting late fees right now. Why don’t you take this back and finish it…’ She flashed me a mischievous librarian smile, and she handed me the now illegally possessed, but secretly un-fined book. I whispered ‘thank you’, flashed her a big smile, and bolted for the door.
Make as many friends as you can. It makes the world smaller and more enjoyable. The rewards of friendship are the most meaningful and lasting perks you will find on this planet. You never know when you will need someone to talk to, an encouraging word, a good laugh, an introduction, a kidney, or extended hours with a good book. And like Dionne and friends said, that’s what friends are for.
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