Month: March 2024

Why no one else can see the most important work you do.

Your self-improvement work is not obvious work. It is not showy. No one can watch you do it. It would be pretty boring to watch in a zoo. Or in a red-light district. Because it happens on the inside. In fact, the most important work you do is changing your mindset, your beliefs and your habits. And not just changing. Upgrading.

Upgrading Yourself

Upgrading your thoughts is big. Upgrading your responses is huge. Upgrading your whole operating system changes everything.

This is why education is so important. It exposes you to new ideas that you can incorporate into your own thinking. But it is not enough to educate. The application is where the value appears. So you must first understand that there is a better way, then act in that better way. This is the basic plot of the movie Billy Madison. (This classic film also includes important reminders of the power of nepotism and some top-shelf potty humor.)

The More You Learn…

Develop the habit of learning new ideas. This is done through curiosity and a desire for self-improvement. It will lead you to seek and find new and better sources of information. You’ll find it in classes, books, articles, podcasts, blogs, videos, experts, and fortune cookies. (And even in books about fortune cookies.)

Apply Your Knowledge

Once you have better information, it becomes knowledge. Applying your knowledge in your various roles makes you a more valuable contributor.

Think about everything that you know you should do today. Eat right. Sleep well. Exercise. Read. Work in focused and productive ways. Invest in your relationships. Invest your money. Give back. See a doctor. Floss. Close your barn door. You and everyone else on the planet know that you should be doing those things.

But are you doing them?

There are two types of people:

  1. People who know the basic actions they should take. (This includes nearly everyone.)
  2. People who take the basic actions they know they should take. (This includes far less than everyone.)

This means that basic action is the great separator of people. But go beyond the basics. The things everyone knows they should do. Self-education helps you level up. It helps you discover the other things should you be doing if you want to be even more valuable in your career, as a spouse, parent, or friend. What is the next level of health and fitness? What is the next level of investing? Or productivity? Or spiritual enlightenment? That knowledge comes from more curiosity and more self-directed learning.

Just like a pyramid, that may or may not have been built by aliens, there are fewer and fewer people at each level as you ascend. Which means that the success pyramid is really a matter of attaining knowledge and then applying that knowledge. To take a full step higher you have to do both: attain and apply. Because it is the person who applies their new knowledge and self-improvement that is ultimately successful.

Key Takeaway

Always be learning. Educate yourself on new and better approaches to all areas of life and work. This is the invisible work of self-improvement. Then put that knowledge into action. And when you do it will change your life in ways that everyone will see.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Thoughts on extroversion from a raging extrovert who doesn’t believe he’s an extrovert.

I like good theories. They help simplify the world and make it easier to understand. They create order and predictability. But I often find that theories don’t apply to me.

Take the theory that people are either introverts or extroverts. I liked this theory when I first heard it. It seemed intuitive. It seemed obviously correct, at first. But it felt most correct when I applied the theory to others. It has always felt much less correct when I applied it to myself. Kinda like makeup.

Most people would categorize me as an extrovert. They would call me outgoing, personable, or engaging. They may call me a talker. Or talkative. Or loud. And sometimes I am. And sometimes I am not.

My great friend and University of Wisconsin Track and Field teammate Bryan Jones used to call me Sybil, referencing the 1976 film about a woman with a multiple personality disorder. I thought this was a funny observation. B.J. noted how I could laugh and joke around in the locker room, but when it was time to practice or lift weights, everything changed. No joking. Just intense focus, and yes, even quiet.

I am far too complex of a machine to simply label as an extrovert. Although most people will never see past an oversimplified categorization. I am outgoing. I interact easily with others. I can be loud. Really loud. Sorry, librarians. But that’s only part of me. The highly identifiable part. But just a part.

The other part of me is different. I enjoy my time alone. Because I like to think as much as other people think I like to talk. That’s why I enjoy my commute. That’s why I enjoy a long road trip by myself. I enjoy walking the dog, with or without a yo-yo.

While I have met many fun and interesting people on airplanes, I engage with my seatmates less than half the time. (And I don’t mean I only talk half of each flight.)

I write a lot. Writing is a quiet and solitary act. The kind of writing I do for my blog and my books requires a lot of self-reflection and analysis. This is the world of the introvert. And I spend a lot of time in this world. Which is why I identify with The Little Mermaid.

I have heard the theory that extroverts are energized socially. Interacting with others recharges them. Conversely, introverts recharge during quiet time alone. Like a mobile phone plugged in on the vanity overnight.

But this doesn’t apply to me for two reasons.

First, I don’t get my energy from other people. God gave me a lot of natural energy. I have a 2-year-old Border Collie named Lola. I see that God gave her the same energy package I got. It’s replenished with food and sleep. But as long as I do those 2 things, the energy is supplied whether I am socializing or not. Baby, I was born this way.

The other flaw in the theory that extroverts are reenergized by socializing is that, unlike Thomas Jefferson, I don’t believe that all people are created equal. At least not when it comes to socializing. There are loads of people that are not energizing to talk to. They are not interesting socially. And that’s ok. We don’t all need to be the Dos Equis man.

My theory is that people fall into 3 categories.

  1. Socially Energizing: These people are fun to be around. You leave interactions with them feeling a boost. Like those nutritional shakes they swig at nursing homes.
  2. Socially Inert: These people don’t move the needle one way or another. There are a lot of people in this category. Like people who go crazy for vanilla, and wear size medium.
  3. Socially Draining: These people are energy vampires. They suck the energy out of you. Sometimes they are negative. Sometimes they are difficult. Sometimes they are obnoxious. They are the reason you have to enter social situations with a prepared exit strategy. And maybe alcohol.

Remember, not all socializing is the same. Interesting, energetic, charismatic, and fascinating people are energy enhancers. Find those people. Spend time with them. But avoid the drains. You would be better off with a little quiet time by yourself. Regardless of how the world thinks you recharge.

Key Takeaway

Theories are nice ideas. But they are not rules. You don’t have to be categorized. Or labeled. Or stereotyped. Humans are custom-made. We don’t fall neatly into types. We are a messy scatterplot of non-conforming machines. You are hard to understand. So am I. That’s what makes this human adventure so interesting.

If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why you should always use your hotel room notepad.

Last week when I was at my local gym my friend Spencer Koenig approached me while I was on the elliptical machine. (Not the ellipsis machine…) He handed me his phone. It displayed a photo of a profound thought he had written on a hotel room notepad.

Spencer smiled at me and shared, ‘In 2017, you wrote a blog post about how you should always use the notepad in your hotel room to write down your ideas. And I always think of that when I stay at hotels.’

I loved that!

I stay in a lot of hotel rooms each year. I have Titanium Elite status with Marriott. Apparently, that’s better than silver, gold and platinum, because they make body parts out of titanium. So I have body-part-worthy-metal status for my hotel room stays.

The Lesson

The most important thing I have learned from all that staying is that you should capture your ideas on the hotel notepads. By doing so, you turn the notepads into the most valuable object in the room.

The following is the post I first shared in 2017. It is all written on the notepad from the hotel room I stayed at when visiting family in Austin, Minnesota.

Note: The Holiday Inn is a sweet hotel in Austin. And the Perkins next door is my go-to breakfast spot. I always order The Tremendous 12.

And now, The Notepad…

How do you score points every day?

Rapper Ice Cube is known for his hardcore gangster rap. As a member of NWA, he was the lyricist behind such classic hits as Fuck The Police, Gangsta Gangsta and Straight Outta Compton. As a soloist, Ice Cube penned more angry songs like, Natural Born Killaz, AmerciKKKa’s Most Wanted and We Had To Tear This MothaFucka Up. It seems Ice Cube could use a hug.

But Ice Cube’s biggest hit was the smooth groove It Was A Good Day. In the song, Cube recounts the events of a good day. In fact, the whole song is simply a long list of good things that happened to him in a single, ordinary day. In this positive recounting of a good day in South Central L.A., with no barkin from the dog and no smog, we can all learn a valuable lesson about good days.

Creating Good Days

To enjoy good days you need to know what a good day looks like to you. Because once you know what success looks like you can set up a routine to rack up good day points from the moment you wake up until you go to sleep at night. That’s what I try to do every day, like everyday people.

My Good Day

My day starts like Yung Gravy with a strong morning routine. (Floss 3 times baby I’m so clean.) When I wake up, the first thing I do is put a big smile on my face. When I do, I not only feel good right away, but I also give myself a point for day.

Then, if I get out of bed within one or two minutes of my alarm I give myself another point. I make my half of the bed and get more points. I walk to my bathroom and I do a little bit of light stretching. I weigh myself. And I take a long drink from the water bottle I set next to my sink the night before. For each of these activities, I give myself points. If my weight is good I get bonus points. Bing Bing Bing.

The rest of my day works the same way. If I am sitting at my computer by 6:10 am writing I am racking up points. When I publish a blog post, I earn more points. Then I make breakfast and pack my lunch at the same time. I give myself points for both eating well and saving myself money for not going out to eat. Cha-Ching-Ching

I give myself points for leaving for the office by a certain time each morning. When I sit down at my desk at my office I earn more points for creating my Daily Success List. Then I rack up more points for crossing things off that list, like Listerine.

In the evening I earn parenting points for things like coaching my daughter Ava’s track and field team, or my son Magnus’ football team. I rack up points helping with homework and driving my son Johann to piano or saxophone lessons. And for having a good conversation in the car along the way home.

I earn spouse points by spending meaningful quality time with my wife Dawn. That could be as simple as having a good conversation, watching a movie or a TV show together, taking a walk, or planning an upcoming adventure. You have to earn the spouse points every day. It’s fundamental. Like hitting your free throws, sinking your 2-foot putts or wearing deodorant.

I rack up points by eating well, exercising and reading. I earn points when I reach out to a friend or family member. And when I spend quality time with my 2-year-old Border Collie, Lola. I earn points when I laugh or make other people laugh. I earn extra points if milk sprays out of someone’s nose.

Finally, I earn points by wrapping up my day with brushing and flossing. And by filling my water bottle for the next morning so I can do it all over again. And if I get to bed by my predetermined time I get bonus points. Not only because I met my own expectations for the day, but because I put myself in a position to have a great day again tomorrow.

Key Takeaway

A good day is not about extraordinary events. It is simply a day spent doing the things you value. It is a day when you execute your habits and routines. A day when you live the way the ideal you lives. Give yourself points all day long for living up to your own expectations. You will find great rewards in keeping your commitments to yourself and others. You will enjoy the process of improving yourself and your relationships with your family and friends. You will score career points through your productivity and steady accumulation of results. And by keeping a mental tally of all the positive actions you take throughout the day when you lay down to sleep at night you can take great comfort in knowing that today was a good day. And you made it happen.

If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to get a great book buzz from reading.

Earlier this week I started two new books. The physical book I cracked is Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara. At The Weaponry, we know that excellent customer service is one of the 3 key ingredients of our success. (Along with great creative ideas and a fun experience for everyone involved.) So a book about the extremities of hospitality is a valuable, insightful and motivating read for me. Especially once I realized it wasn’t about being hospitalized for no reason.

The other book I began this week as an audiobook is The Obstacle Is The Way, by Ryan Holiday. The basic premise of this book is that the obstacles you face are the keys to your own greatness. They are motivating, instructional and strengthening stimuli. Like dumbells, barbells and unloading groceries from Costco.

My Book Buzz

With these two new books stimulating my brain this week, I found my internal fire burning hotter than usual. My energy and enthusiasm for my work, life and personal projects are elevated. Which is exciting for someone with a high baseline of enthusiasm.

Just as the world reaches for mugs of coffee, cups of tea and cans of Red Bull in the morning to kickstart the day, diving into a good book can elevate your energy for life. Reading the right books, articles and blog posts is like filling your car with fuel, charging your phone with electricity, and filling your body with good food. Reading can provide a great rush. Yet it’s much better for you than cocaine, heroin or ecstasy. Which is why librarians live so long.

Slam A Book When You Need A Boost

If you could use a kick of motivation, inspiration, or any other -ation, grab a book. It’s amazing how energizing they can be.

Biographies offer insights into the habits, actions and mindsets of highly successful people. They are like sitting down with successful people and having them share their secrets with you. What you’ll often find is that these people are much more like you than you thought. They just took more action, bigger risks or worked longer at their objective. Reading biographies inspires you to live a life that should be biographized. Or is it biographisized? (Or does that mean you are living a life that is the size of a bio graph?)

Business books offer insights into the processes, cultures, values and philosophies of great companies. These books are loaded with things you and your organization can adopt. Which is exciting and motivating. Because while it takes a lot of effort to be Apple, it’s easy to apply new ideas that help your business stop operating like a rotten tomato.

Self Improvement books share valuable techniques, mindsets and reminders that you can apply to your own life. Self-emprovement books are highly valuable because they help you become a better person today than you were yesterday. Which is the greatest aim in life. Plus, these books provide inspiring examples of those who have improved themselves and achieved great things using the golden advice found in the book. #Midas #Rumpelstiltskin #RayKroc

History books share the greatest success stories of humankind. They share how greatness was accomplished, how oppression was overcome, how ingenuity led to innovations and inventions that changed the world. Because humans are amazing creatures. So read your history. Or herstory. Or theirstory.

Fictional literature is full of inspirational stories of people who faced challenges, setbacks and difficult situations and overcame them. From boy wizards to old men and the sea, we can learn something empowering from them all. Plus, these books usually have a lot more dirty words and often contain descriptions of naughty acts. Both of which are more fun to read about than Six Sigma methodology.

Key Takeaway

Reading is a powerful and underrated source of inspiration, motivation and enthusiasm. Reading reminds you of the power of action. It reminds you that there are solutions to challenging problems. Books introduce you to mentors, coaches and cheerleaders in written form. So if you want to attack the day tomorrow with more zeal, read something great today.

If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

4 Keys to entrepreneurial success I wish I had known before I got started.

I am asked about my entrepreneurial journey a lot. It seems that far more people are interested in starting their own business than ever sail their own entrepreneur ship. If you are considering starting your own business, either as a side hustle or as your main hustle, here are 4 things that I have done that I highly encourage you to do too.

1. I Took Action. 

Everyone has a dream. And I dreamed of starting my own advertising agency for a long time. But to actually start your own business you have to move beyond dreaming to doing. Starting in the fall of 2015 I took an endless series of small actions that led me to today. My business, The Weaponry, will turn 8 years old next month.  So if you want to make sure you don’t die with your dream still inside you, take action to make it real. (Also look both ways before you cross the street.)

Suggested readings to spur your action:

2. I Saved. (Not Like Jesus)

As a professional creative thinker, I take lots of risks with idea exploration. However, I am fiscally conservative. I have been cautious with our expenditures, our office space and our staffing size. I have been conservative about leaving cash in the business, versus taking it home as part of my return. As a result, The Weaponry has strong reserves to outlast downturns. This was a key reason I didn’t panic at the disco in 2020 during the Covid Cray Cray Fest.

3. I Planted Seeds.

Business development is critical to creating a pipeline of opportunities. Over the years I have stayed in touch with old friends. I’ve made one hundred billion new friends. I have had phone conversations, chocolate milk meetings and lunches. I have volunteered my time. I have guest lectured and given talks. I write a blog. I wrote a book called What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? I co-wrote a book titled The Culture Turnaround with Jeff Hilimire. I have given interviews and served on committees and boards.

All of those things are like planting seeds. You never know when they will sprout or what they will turn into. So keep planting seeds and watch what happens, with Andy Cohen.

4. I Delivered

The best source of new business is a happy client. And you develop happy clients by delivering for them. (Especially if you are an obstetrician, or a milkman.) The Weaponry has grown by keeping our clients happy and expanding our work with them. We are also expanding by having happy clients leave for great new jobs and bringing us with them to their new companies. I have a really great team. And I appreciate all that they do for our clients. It is why we are still here, and still growing strong.

Key Takeaway:

To develop a successful business you have to take action. Without action, you are just a dreamer. You have to save money so that you are prepared to weather the storms that will surely come. You must keep planting seeds by creating and nurturing relationships and providing value to others. Then you must deliver the goods. Nothing grows a business like happy customers. None of it is easy. And none of it is that hard. It is simply the price you have to pay to get what you want in life.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The right way to do everything.

Life is full of verbing. Because as living creatures there is so much to do. There’s all this eating, cleaning, and clothes-wearing. Then there’s the work. And the communicating. And the passions and hobbies. Throw in the phazillion things you have to do in between all the things you have to do and it’s a wonder you ever get anything done.

But what’s the best way to do your thang?

There are best practices that tell you how something should be done.

There is the old-school approach.

And the new school approach.

And the too cool for school approach.

There is the classicly trained way.

The disrupting way.

The fast way.

The slow way.

And the curds and whey.

But here’s the secret everyone should know.

You don’t have to choose any of them ways.

There is more than one way to do everything. Just ask a skinned cat.

Don’t worry about following others. Or the establishment.

Take your own approach.

Your resources and constraints will always be unique to you.

And just like Harry Styles, your tastes and styles are your own too.

Your uniqueness and individuality are your strengths.

Take a non-traditional approach.

Discover what works for you.

There’s a great chance that you will discover a better way.

Or at least a better way for you.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.