Tag: conversation starter

It’s amazing what you can discover when you start asking a stranger questions.

On Thursday afternoon, I was on a plane. I was flying from Detroit Rock City to Columbus. My seatmate was a friendly woman. And like that scene from Kenny Rogers’ The Gambler, we began to speak. (Although, unlike in The Gambler, no one bummed a cigarette, drank down my last swallow, or croaked.)

My goal with the conversation was to see how quickly we could go from perfect strangers like Larry Appleton and Balki Bartokomous to pals, like Forrest and Bubba.

When I meet someone new I am always Curious George’n to know who or what we have in common. So, I broke out my set of proven questions designed to discover where our Venn diagrams overlapped. The only question was how many questions it would take to get to the Tootsie Roll Center.

The conversation went like this:

Me: What’s your name? Answer: Emily. (So we did not have a name in common.)

Me: Where do you live? Emily: Granville, Ohio.

Me: Where did you grow up? Emily: Centerville, Ohio

Me What did you do after Centerville? Emily: I went to college at Ohio Wesleyan University.

Me: Cool! I had two sisters who went to OWU! They were there between 1994 and 2000.

Emily: Interesting! I was there during that time…

Me: My sisters were both on the track and field team at OWU.

Emily: I had a friend who was on the track and field team at OWU. Her name was Donielle Albrecht.

Me: Donielle Albrecht is my baby sister.

Emily: I lived with Donielle in Paris!!!

Me: OMG!

Emily In Paris (Which is how I locked her name in my memory bank): I have traveled all over the country with Donielle! And I know your sister Alison too!

Emily in Paris is also known as Emily Hughes Smith. She’s a Realtor with Remax in Columbus. But she also worked in advertising for several years. We knew many people and agencies in common. And we both have sons who are juniors in high school. Which made for a fun and interesting conversation on our relatively short hop across the contentious Michigan-Ohio border.

However, I am disappointed that during our blitz-Venning session we didn’t discover another important connection. This morning, as I visited LinkedIn and Facebook to prep for this Emily In Paris’ story, I discovered that I know Emily’s husband! Kirk Richard Smith is a Creative Director and great photographer. We have known each other for years.

Key Takeaway

Get to know the people around you. Discover your commonalities. Connect over your shared people, places and interests. It is one of my favorite things to do. Because it quickly turns strangers into friends. It grows and strengthens your friend network. It reveals that there is always a little bit of magic around us. We just need to look for it. And that’s an ace that you can keep.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

My favorite place in the world may surprise you.

When you ask people about their favorite places you get a lot of similar answers. The beach. The mountains. The woods. A bustling cosmopolitan area. Quaint villages. Maybe a Rennaissance fair for the corset and turkey leg crowd.

But one of my favorite places is on elevators. I love those things. Ironically, the elevator was invented by Elisha Graves Otis, a Vermonter. Which I find hilarious because the tallest building in Vermont is still only about 4 stories high. And that’s a barn in Windsor County.

(Before any cranky Vermonters send me hate mail and explain that there is a six-story hotel in Burlington, let me say I already know that. I am a Vermonter myself. My wife wears maple-scented perfume when she wants to get my attention.)

Back to the elevator.

Elevators are awkward places. They are small boxes where strangers gather too close for comfort. Like an 80s sitcom. But that awkwardness creates the magic of an elevator.

Instead of simply sitting in the uncomfortableness of the elevator I embrace it. I use it to my advantage.

I lob out jokes intended to break the ice. It is easier to get a laugh on an elevator than anywhere else on Earth. Because the situation is inherently funny.

The Weaponry, the advertising and ideas agency I founded, has recently moved into a new office in a 14-story building in downtown Milwaukee. I now ride 2 elevators twice a day. One elevator between the parking garage and the lobby. One between the lobby and my office. And I love them both.

I notice the tension every time I step onboard. And I use it to create human interactions the way a sailboat uses tension on the sail to propel the vessel.

That elevator tension is a gift. Use it. It accelerates human interactions. It facilitates conversation. It’s the perfect place to start a new relationship.

Trust me. I met my wife on an elevator. She laughed at my jokes. I stalked her when she got off. Now we’ve been married for 20 years. #truestory

Key Takeaway.

The oddity of the elevator creates the perfect conversation starter. Use it to your advantage. It will help you meet new people. It will help you laugh more. And relationships that start with a laugh are the most enjoyable.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my new book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.