Category: life lessons

Why the greatest success stories are created by the hour.

Every January we think about the year ahead. We set goals and resolutions and dream about how we are going to be different in 365 days. It’s a beautiful idea. But it doesn’t really work. Because while there is no shortage of goals, dreams or plans, results are harder to find than a squeezable pack of Charmin in 2020.

A major part of the problem is that a year is just too long. It gives you too much time to slack off. Think about the hare from the law firm of Tortoise & Hare. That bunny had too, too, too much time on his hands. In a one-minute race, the rabbit would have dominated. It was the perception that he had plenty of time for a comeback that ruined him.

The Solve

The best way to crush your goals like red pepper is to stop measuring your progress in years. Instead, focus on having great hours.

Start each day with your success list. Then block your activities on your calendar. Those time blocks are your building blocks for success. By stacking several great hours together daily, and doing that day after day, you will build great weeks, months, and years.

It all starts with the hour you are in right now. (Like Van Halen said.) Focus on making this hour great. Then, think about grading your hours every day. If you do what you intended to do with an hour, give it an excellent grade. If you didn’t do the work, workout, reading, rest, socializing, or play that you intended to do, that hour gets a poor grade.

The feedback is immediate. And motivating. Experiencing a bad hour will inspire you to respond with a much better next hour. Which means your comeback is always less than 60 minutes away. (Although L.L. Cool J won’t call it a comeback.)

There are 168 hours in every week. Which translates to a lot of opportunities for progress and happiness. Make them count. And you will turn your entire life into a success story.

Key Takeaway

Shorten your measurable units of success. The power in a great hour is instantly recognizable and controllable. An hour well spent provides a great return on your investment. Which has a compounding effect. Remember, great hours are the building blocks of a great life. And you will start to see the results in just 60 minutes.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why you should tell your people that they deserve better.

We always want the best for the people in our lives. But our people don’t always find the best. We’ve all seen friends or family members in less-than-ideal situations. It’s hard to watch. It’s even harder to bite your tongue and not say anything to them. (Or bite your thumbs if you are the texting type.)

Sometimes the less-than situation is a bad job that makes them miserable. Or at a minimum, it doesn’t enable them to utilize their full talents. Other times we see our people in bad relationships. It could be a romantic relationship that isn’t so romantic. Or peers who are putting the wrong kind of pressure on your person. Or any number of lesser situations that bring your peeps down rather than raise them up, like a good Josh Groban song.

What Would Scooby Do?

When you recognize that your people are in situations that are bringing them down, bring it up to them. Let them know how great and capable and worthy they are of more. Encourage them to find the right job, the right people, or the right situation for them.

Your people will know you are right. And they will want better for themselves too. But when you hear someone who cares about you tell you that you deserve more it carries more weight. And more urgency.

If you can help your person stack one more stone on the right side of the scale, you can help them tip their next decision in favor of a better future. Which means you have done your job as a valuable supporter. (Even if you’re not an athletic supporter.)

My Reminder

Last night I saw a good friend of mine at a school event. He is successful, well-liked, and well-respected. But a few years ago he found himself in a position where he wasn’t fully appreciated for his talents, vision and work ethic. His greatness had earned him a major opportunity. But the organization wasn’t worthy of my friend. I could see that he was wasting his time in what seemed like a great role. But it really wasn’t. And I told him so. Last night, he told me that my words to him encouraged him to make a change. Today he is in a job that is just as big, but way better, and far more supportive. Like Spanx.

Key Takeaway

Tell your people in lesser situations that they deserve better. They know it. Let them know you know it too. Show them you care. Add to their confidence. Give them the push they need. At a minimum, they will know how much you care for them. At a maximum, you will help change their life.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to win more by loading your dice before you roll them.

The most successful people I know have taken significant chances. The universe is willing to pay out great rewards. But it requires you to put something on the line to prove you deserve it.

I first learned this lesson from a piece of cross-stitch art in my childhood home that said The turtle only makes progress when it sticks its neck out. You can learn a lot from cross-stitch philosophy.

The great barrier to success is your willingness to take a risk. Most people simply aren’t willing to risk enough to earn a great reward. They play it too safe. But the safe harbor you think you are anchored in is not nearly as safe as you think. (And there is very little safety in safes as Geraldo Rivera showed us.)

The relative lack of safety everywhere means that you should risk it for the biscuit. Always bet on yourself. But it is easy to lower the risk in your risky endeavors. In fact, there is a maxim I adhere to every time I take my chances:

Load your dice before you roll them.

Whenever you take a chance, like ABBA, take as much chance out of the situation as possible. You can do this by taking on opportunities where you have the greatest chance of winning.

Remember, not all playing fields are even. Choose to play on fields that are tilted in your favor. And tilt every board you compete on in your direction by knowing and playing to your strengths.

Take on battles where you have advantages. Lean on your relationships. People advantages are often the greatest advantages of all. Choose opportunities where your proximity is a strength. Compete where your category knowledge is high. It’s what Alex Trebek would do.

Count the cards. Know the decision makers. Do your homework. Study patterns. Start a business in a space where you have great expertise. Then do what hedge funds do and create situations where you win no matter what happens.

Key Takeaway

Take the chance out of the chances you take. Know your strengths. Play to them. You will significantly increase your likelihood of success. Which will ensure that you win more than your fair share of victories.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The greatest teacher of all time doesn’t work at a school.

One of the great mistakes you can make in life is studying things to death. By this, I mean that you read and research the things you want to do. And then you die. Your life is full of studying, thinking and preparing. But never actually doing. This is a big mistake. Huge. Like Julia Roberts said.

Most people think they need to prepare to get started. But they are never prepared enough to go. If you subscribe to this philosophy you will never meet the greatest teacher of all. Because she isn’t in your books. And she isn’t part of the PTA in Harper Valley.

The best teacher in the history of the planet is action. Action provides immediate lessons, feedback and progress. You learn by doing. You do not really learn by not really doing. I think Dr. Doolittle said that.

You learn to play a game by actually playing the game. This was true on the playground. It’s true in board games, video games and head games. (Just ask Lou Gramm.) It is also true in the game of life and in the great game of business.

As an entrepreneur, I learned how to start and run a business by simply jumping in and doing it. I learned more in the first week I launched The Weaponry than I learned from all of the books, magazines and articles I ever read.

I’ve learned how to coach sports by jumping in and doing it, while I was still totally ignorant. (Now I am just 3/4 ignorant.) Each step you take teaches you what you should do next. It’s how Mark Zuckerberg invented Facebook. And why the Winklevosses did not.

Key Takeaway

If you really want to learn how to do something don’t study it. Do it. You will learn more and faster by taking action than you could through any other approach. The more action you take the more you will learn. You are already prepared enough. It’s go-time.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why it’s better to look for the truth than for someone to blame.

The world isn’t perfect. It isn’t always fair. And things go wrong all the time. This is well documented by Murphy’s Law, and in every episode of Seinfeld. Just ask Mulva.

Since you are technically part of the world, you are not perfect either. You sometimes do the wrong things. You make mistakes. You react too quickly and make poor decisions. You don’t always control your temper. Or your tongue. Or, your thumbs. (Which are like modern Jobsian tongues.)

When things go bad there is a natural tendency to blame. Humans have an innate ability to draw quick conclusions and simplistic explanations. Because it is much easier to judge than to seek understanding.

This is a massive mistake.

Blaming is a lazy response that prevents you from investigating and discovering the truth. Blaming discounts your own responsibility. And it discounts the complexity of the universe and human interactions. That’s why, as Phil Dunphy might say, when you blame, you be lame.

Key Takeaway

If you want to live a better life stop blaming others. Commit to discovering the truth. Look at the facts. Explore all sides of the story. Ask questions. Don’t make accusations. Consider your own role and your contribution to each situation. Truth seekers and blamers see the world differently. And only one of them gets it right.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

One of the greatest pieces of advice I ever received was in French.

Several years ago while working in Montreal, I got a small piece of valuable advice. I was working with my good friend, director Guillaume de Fontenay. Guillaume is a French Canadian from Montreal. Guillaume is the french equivalent of the name William. So I assume that in french Billy the Kid is called Gilly L’enfant.

Guillaume and I playing Ebony and Ivory in Montreal.

One evening at dinner Guillaume shared a story about an interaction he once had that greatly angered him. He said his natural desire was to verbally lash out at the other person. But the point of the story was that he didn’t lash out. Instead, he replied with something smart and considered. Guillaume confided,

‘We have a little saying in French for when you are angry…’

Il faut tourner sa langue sept fois dans sa bouche avant de parler.“

-Smart French Saying

Guillaume translated this for me as: Twist your tongue seven times before you speak.

It is very good advice in any language.

Twisting

It is important to think before you speak. Since hearing this saying I have leaned on it countless times. And it has never failed me. It works at work and at home. It works with strangers and friends. It works like magic when you are seeing red and your blood is boiling. It works when you have something sharp on the tip of your tongue. It works when you feel salty, disappointed, or jealous. In fact, the only time I have found it doesn’t work well is when you are in the dentist’s chair. Because those people have work to do. (Sorry Faith and Dr. Tina.)

But This One Goes to 11

I can also say that in my anglophone mouth, it is often better to twist more than 7 times. When you are angry or emotional it is often best to hold off until the next day, or the next week before responding. Which can mean a lot of tongue-twisting. Like sister Susie sitting on a thistle as she sells sea shells at the seashore.

But perhaps the most important lesson I have discovered through the employment of this très bon advice is that after tiring your tongue out through the twisting there is no longer an urge to speak at all. And no response to the people who have angered, offended, or irritated you is often the best response of all.

Key Takeaway

Twist your tongue 7 times before you speak. More if necessary. It will give you time to think. It will give your tongue time to cool. And it will prevent you from saying things you later regret.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

Note: In French, tourner actually means turn. But twist is what Guillaume said. And the saying sounds cuter that way.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The antidote to your ignorance is to keep an open mind.

It is easy to believe that your perspective is right. After all, your perspective is a product of the truth as you know it. But your perspective often has shortcomings. And blind spots. Which doesn’t mean that your spots can’t see. But that you don’t see parts of reality. Like Kanye.

Blind spots come from biases. They develop when you arrive at conclusions prematurely. And just as a premature baby is fragile, a premature conclusion is the most vulnerable of perspectives. Which makes them unlikely to survive outside the conclusion NICU.

If someone challenges your perspective, listen to them. They will often offer more information, which makes you better informed. Be willing to alter your ideas, stories, and opinions when new information is introduced. Adopt a growth mindset. Seek truth and understanding. It’s the wisest choice.

Key Takeaway

Assume there are things you don’t know. Recognize that you are drawing your conclusions based on limited or biased information. The antidote to your own ignorance is openmindedness. Invite new perspectives. Listen to dissenters. They offer you valuable gifts.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.