Tag: Strangers

It’s amazing what you can discover when you start asking a stranger questions.

On Thursday afternoon, I was on a plane. I was flying from Detroit Rock City to Columbus. My seatmate was a friendly woman. And like that scene from Kenny Rogers’ The Gambler, we began to speak. (Although, unlike in The Gambler, no one bummed a cigarette, drank down my last swallow, or croaked.)

My goal with the conversation was to see how quickly we could go from perfect strangers like Larry Appleton and Balki Bartokomous to pals, like Forrest and Bubba.

When I meet someone new I am always Curious George’n to know who or what we have in common. So, I broke out my set of proven questions designed to discover where our Venn diagrams overlapped. The only question was how many questions it would take to get to the Tootsie Roll Center.

The conversation went like this:

Me: What’s your name? Answer: Emily. (So we did not have a name in common.)

Me: Where do you live? Emily: Granville, Ohio.

Me: Where did you grow up? Emily: Centerville, Ohio

Me What did you do after Centerville? Emily: I went to college at Ohio Wesleyan University.

Me: Cool! I had two sisters who went to OWU! They were there between 1994 and 2000.

Emily: Interesting! I was there during that time…

Me: My sisters were both on the track and field team at OWU.

Emily: I had a friend who was on the track and field team at OWU. Her name was Donielle Albrecht.

Me: Donielle Albrecht is my baby sister.

Emily: I lived with Donielle in Paris!!!

Me: OMG!

Emily In Paris (Which is how I locked her name in my memory bank): I have traveled all over the country with Donielle! And I know your sister Alison too!

Emily in Paris is also known as Emily Hughes Smith. She’s a Realtor with Remax in Columbus. But she also worked in advertising for several years. We knew many people and agencies in common. And we both have sons who are juniors in high school. Which made for a fun and interesting conversation on our relatively short hop across the contentious Michigan-Ohio border.

However, I am disappointed that during our blitz-Venning session we didn’t discover another important connection. This morning, as I visited LinkedIn and Facebook to prep for this Emily In Paris’ story, I discovered that I know Emily’s husband! Kirk Richard Smith is a Creative Director and great photographer. We have known each other for years.

Key Takeaway

Get to know the people around you. Discover your commonalities. Connect over your shared people, places and interests. It is one of my favorite things to do. Because it quickly turns strangers into friends. It grows and strengthens your friend network. It reveals that there is always a little bit of magic around us. We just need to look for it. And that’s an ace that you can keep.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to tap into the great value of a room full of strangers.

A couple of months ago I had a meeting with a board of directors. When I entered the room a dozen people were already there. After I greeted the host who invited me, she cheerfully turned to the room and asked, ‘Does everyone here know Adam?’ This is a question I hear often at my witness protection program meetings.

But I had studied who was going to be in the room. I always prepare for such meetings. From my prep work, I knew that I wouldn’t know anyone but my greeter.

And I loved that.

In that meeting, I was introduced to 12 new people in the town I live in. (Which is kinda like being the defendant in a jury trial.) I met leaders. People who were involved. Successful people. Board members. Good people to know. And suddenly 12 unknowns became known to me. My life improved as a result.

While some people dislike going places where they don’t know anyone, it is among my favorite things. Right behind being in a room where I know half the people. Like at my friend Molly’s recent birthday party.

Molly and I have a lot of friends in common. But she also knows a lot of people I don’t know. Because, as Digable Planet said, she’s cool like that. The great thing about a room half full of friends is that the familiars introduce you to the unfamiliars. By the end of the evening, I had met 14 new people. (Well they weren’t really new people. I could tell they have been people for a while. But they were new to me.)

It all adds up.

Meeting 14 new people at a party or 12 new people in a business meeting is a greater reward than it appears. Because when you meet someone new you are suddenly just a degree away from their friends, families, coworkers, and business associates. Which always leads to an interesting yet unpredictable way of improving your life.

If you conservatively assume that everyone knows 500 people, when you meet 10 new people, you are now a single degree of separation from 5,000 new people. This increases opportunities for new and better friendships, partnerships, introductions and recommendations. You never know when and how those associations may prove valuable. But experience has taught me that the value always appears.

Key Takeaway

Most great opportunities come from humans. The more humans you are connected to, the more opportunities you will enjoy. That’s why a room full of strangers is a room full of value. Take the initiative to make as many new friends as you can. They are among the most valuable assets you will ever collect.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.