If you are a dad, Father’s Day is a good day to give yourself a job review. And if recent events are any indicator, I am not doing a very good job.
On Friday, while running errands with my 14-year-old daughter Ava, I let the gas tank in my car get to 0 miles to empty before I went to a gas station. I thought that was fun and exciting. When we got home and Ava told my parenting partner what happened I was reminded that I was setting a bad example for our soon-to-be daughter driver. Oops.
Yesterday morning I woke all 3 of my kids up at 6am, on a Saturday, during the summer. Then I forced them to road-trip for 800 miles. Crossing through 7 different states. All while Covid-19 is still a real threat to real people.
I let them eat junk food, and drink Blue Mountain Dew that probably rotted their stomachs. I gave them unlimited access to their electronics, which probably rotted their brains.
I drove way too fast through winding mountain roads, causing my youngest to throw up on the side of the road at 10:30pm on Father’s Day Eve.
At 11:45 PM I got a call from the front desk of the hotel where we are staying. We had only been in our room for 30 minutes and already there had been a noise complaint. Despite a moderate amount of effort, I have not trained these kids how to be quiet when close to other humans.
Did I mention that I made all 5 of us stay in 1 hotel room with only 2 beds? Apparently that is less than the good fathering books say you need for 5 people.
But yesterday I did take my kids to see a really great father. We saw my parents for the first time since November of 2019. My Dad made us a really good homemade lunch. It had fruits, vegetables, grains and meat. You know, the foods kids are supposed to eat.
He baked a strawberry-rhubarb crisp for dessert. We ate around a real dining room table. We talked and laughed and used napkins. We got a tour of his gardens and his yard projects. That guy is a doer. He makes me feel like a don’t-er by comparison.
Thanks Dad for being such a great Father. And even though I may not have turned out so well, you did a great job with my 3 sisters. And 3 out of 4 ain’t bad. Sorry. I meant isn’t bad.
By all outward appearances Friday was a normal day. I woke up, went to work, came home, had dinner and watched a movie with my family. But Friday was one of the most important days of my life. What happened on Friday explains a lot about me. It doesn’t explain the glitch in my brain that alerts me of of every possible double entendre and innuendo. But it does explain a bunch of other more important stuff.
On Friday, December 27th, 2019, my parents, Robert and Jill Albrecht, celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. These 2 kids from Minnesota, who got married in their barely 20’s, have now spent 50 of their 70-ish years of life married. To each other. Which has been incredibly valuable to me. My parents have played a critical role in my existence. In fact, I don’t think I would be writing this blog post, or much of anything else, if it weren’t for them.
What is craziest about my parents’ big anniversary is how totally normal it seems to me. I never doubted they would make it to 50 years of marriage. It was just a matter of time. Heck, I even predicted the day it would happen.
The Power Of Normal
President Warren Harding ran for president in 1921 on a simple campaign promise to return normalcy to the United States following World War I. Because normalcy what the nation needed most.
I greatly appreciate Harding’s campaign platform. Because I am a product of normalcy. Despite that fact that I had an adventurous childhood, and lived in 5 states by the time I started 7th grade, I was raised on a solid foundation of normalcy. My parents 50th anniversary helps quantify just how much normalcy I have enjoyed.
What does that mean?
I think of the normalcy my parents marriage has provided through the filter of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Simply put, all of my basic needs have always been met. I have always had food, chocolate milk and shelter. I have always felt safe and secure. Except for that time when I was 3 years old, and I threw nails at my dad after he told me not to throw any more nails or I would get a spanking, and he chased me as I ran all the way from our barn to our house, thinking this is how it ends.
On The Wings of Love
Thanks to my parents, my psychological needs for belongingness and love have always been met. Which has enabled me to focus on the higher order needs of esteem, prestige and accomplishment. And the highest needs of self-fulfillment, self-actualization and achieving my full potential. This has been key to my personal and career success. I know this is going deep, like the necklace the old woman dropped off the side of the boat in Titanic. But it is all true.
One way. Not the only way.
To be clear, there are lots of ways to provide your children with a solid, normal foundation. It can just as easily come from single parents, divorced parents, same sex parents, and perhaps even sexless parents (which is more pleasant to think about than sex-having parents). I am simply sharing that my situation has worked for me.
The rock solid upbringing I experienced, thanks to my parents, has been a key factor in my entrepreneurial journey. Throughout my childhood I saw that things just seemed to work out. Which has influenced my perspective on life. I figured that if I tried to start my own business, and walk away from a nicely salaried and benefited situation, it would all work out. I was never really scared or worried.
I launched my advertising and idea agency, The Weaponry, in 2016. And over the past 3.5 years, I have had more control over my life and my time. As a result, I have experienced more moments of self-actualization, flow, or rapture than some people experience in their entire lives.
But I know that it all began with a sold foundation provided by two young farm kids from southern Minnesota, who turned out to be great parents.
The truth is I am far more normal on the inside than I probably appear on the outside. As are my sisters Heather, Alison and Donielle. We all enjoy spending time together. Yet when we don’t spend holidays or birthdays together, no one gets mad. It’s all kinda normal. Which is one of the best gifts you can give your family.
Celebrating 50 Years
You know what we did to celebrate my parents’ 50th anniversary? We did nothing. I mean, I called them. And we laughed a lot. And we did some rudimentary mathematics on the whole thing. But we didn’t get together. My parents went out for breakfast together. And then they watched football. Normal stuff. I am sure we will celebrate together sometime in the 50th year.
The Rest Of The Story
However, a simple breakfast and a little football is not how Bob and Jill are really celebrating their 50th anniversary. My parents have put a lot of good into the world. And when you do that you get a lot of good back. On New Year’s Day my parents are flying to Hawaii for the first time. There they are going on a cruise, visiting the Hawaiian islands for a week with a group of 20 friends and family. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate 50 years of marriage. Clearly they are doing something right. And perhaps they are doing everything right.
My parents have made me the person I am today. They provided the genetics and the lessons that have shaped me. But they also provided a sense of stability for me to balance everything else upon. And like the road less traveled, that has made all the difference. Thank you Mom and Dad for all that you have done. Even when you didn’t realize you were doing anything at all.
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In 2015 I started The Perfect Agency Project blog when I began planning the launch of my advertising and ideas agency, The Weaponry. I wanted to share my experience, learnings and insights with others. Today I publish a new post 3 days a week. I enjoy writing this blog because I like sharing what I know. You name a topic and I can write about it. Because I have philosophies on everything. In fact, even my philosophies have philosophies. The wide range of topics I cover include:
Today is Father’s Day. So naturally I am thinking about my father, Robert Albrecht. He knows so much about so many subjects that he could easily write a great blog and share all of his accumulated wisdom with the word. But he won’t. That’s not his style.
My Dad is not a writer. He is not a philosopher, reflector or pontificator. He would never write a book of Roberts Rules of Order. Although that title sounds like it would be a hit.
My Dad didn’t tell me and my sisters how to be successful, productive or impactful. He showed us.
My Dad is my action hero. Because he is always in motion. He’s a doer. A maker. A baker. A builder. A griller A gardner. A fixer. A shower-upper (meaning he shows up, not that he shows you up). And he’s a see-things-througher. (meaning he completes things, not that he has X-Ray vision).
He is a Can-Do, Will-Do, Did-It, What’s-Next? kind of guy.
He is an early riser. He’s a frick’n workhorse. He makes the most of each day. And he’s really hard to keep up with. I love that about him.
Thank you Dad for being such a great example. You didn’t have to write a blog, a book or a manifesto to teach Heather, Alison, Donielle and I how to be great at life. You showed us. So we get up early. We put in the work. We make and we bake and we do and we don’t complain. We are people of action. Just like you taught us, through your actions, not your words.
I love you Dad. Happy Father’s Day. Thanks for stopping for a moment to read this post.