Tag: first impressions

Unlock the personal and professional benefits of RFF.

You probably know all about RBF.

So you know it’s not the cash register code for a sandwich at Arby’s.

Or a pennant and banner industry term for rainbow flag.

RBF refers to Resting Bitch Face.

It is a default facial expression that makes a person appear unfriendly.

It makes people think you are irritated, annoyed or angry. Even when resting.

And it appears in both women and men. (See Kanye.)

RBF makes people think you are unapproachable

It may be unfair. It may be the furthest thing from the truth.

But if you have RBF, it makes a negative first impression. And it builds a personal brand that works against you.

It sends a message to the people around you that you don’t want to talk.

And Jack White can tell that we aren’t gonna be friends.

Unfortunately, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. (Head and Shoulder’s taught me that.)

But there is another default facial expression that gets far less attention.

And it is far more valuable.

RFF

People with RFF have a friendly default countenance.

It may be a smile.

Or a warmth.

Or kindness.

They look like they would be happy to talk to you.

People with RFF look like they want to be your friend.

Resting Friend Face.

I am talking to this guy in a room full of strangers.

When I was a kid, I lived in 5 different states by the time I started 7th grade. So I learned how to make friends in a room full of strangers. And it always starts by looking for the person with the resting friend face.

Remember when you used to play Red Rover when you were a kid? You would look for the weakest link in the lineup.

Making friends works kinda like that. Only it feels less Lord of The Flies-y

I would ask her for directions.

When you walk into a room full of strangers, you look for someone with RFF as the best person to approach.

They are the person least likely to give you the cold shoulder. And most likely to be interested in having a conversation.

At networking events, people with RFF are approached first.

At a dance, someone with RFF gets invited onto the dance floor first.

At a bar, the person with RFF gets approached. (So be careful if you don’t want to be approached in a bar.)

In business, when the person with RFF walks into a pitch or a sales call, they are immediately likable.

Humans are programed to discern friend from foe.

We do this unconsciously.

Automatically.

It’s coded into our historic software.

That’s why RFF offers an unfair advantage in relationship development.

This guy gets it.

So train yourself to develop your Resting Friend Face.

Smile.

Or Smize.

Train yourself to default to a friendly pose.

Put a pleasant look on your face. It doesn’t have to be toothy.

Uncross your arms.

Put your phone away.

And look like a friend other people would like to have.

Practice in front of a mirror.

Film yourself to find what looks friendly on camera.

See what others see.

That’s a pro RFF!

By developing a RFF you will increase the potential for developing more friendships.

You will develop a better social and professional network.

People will choose to talk to you in a room full of other options. Which will make you feel like Sally Field at the `1985 Academy Awards.

You will be the person others will approach at a trade show, job fair, conference or seminar.

It’s how you get people to approach your booth, table or tent.

You will be the person others will choose to sit next to at a dinner party full of strangers.

And ultimately, you will benefit from attracting more good people into your life.

Key Takeaway

Develop your Resting Friend Face. Practice looking friendly and approachable as a default. You will stand out in a crowd. It will help you grow your brand, your network and the number of great opportunities that come your way.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

Have you thought about your personal curb appeal?

Everyone who has ever shopped for a home knows the term curb appeal. It refers to the immediate impression that a home makes when you pull up to it. It’s the real estate version of judging a book by its cover. Only it’s a really big book. And the cover features a circle driveway, begonias, and a couple of garden gnomes.

Brand Curb Appeal

Brands and businesses have to think about their curb appeal too. You have an opportune moment to impress your potential customers when they first encounter your brand. That first impression can either help sell or unsell customers before you even mention the advantages of your non-caloric, silicon-based kitchen lubricant on cereal. Or sledding hills.

Personal Curb Appeal

But it’s also important for us to think about our own personal curb appeal. When people encounter you for the first time what do they see? What do your clothes, shoes and hair signal? What does your posture say about you? What message is your face sharing with the world? Do you have RBF? Or PMF? (Post Malone Face)

Is there something in your personal curb appeal that helps you stand out from the crowd and makes you interesting, unique and memorable? If not, think about what that could be. What’s your signature attribute? Just as a home benefits from a beautiful door, noteworthy landscaping or remarkable lighting, you also benefit from your memorable differentiators.

If you don’t yet have any memorable differentiators, now is a great time to discover something that serves you well. It could be something about the way you dress. Hats, shirts, ties, pants, belts, socks and shoes are all great options for creating interest and distinctiveness. So are other accessories, like watches, glasses, purses, canes and monocles. And you will really stand out if you rock 2 monocles at once.

But your personal curb appeal can also be enhanced by the way you carry yourself. Your visible energy, warmth, friendliness, happiness, charisma, kindness or professionalism can make a strong first impression, even from across the room, or across the street. Those attributes help make you immediately noticeable, likable, recognizable, and several other ables that are able to create immediate and lasting advantages for you.

Key Takeaway

It is important to consider your personal curb appeal. A home’s curb appeal helps increase the perceived value of the home. Your personal curb appeal will do the same for you. It helps you get noticed. It helps people remember you. It will inspire others to seek you out. Which helps improve your network and exposes you to more and better opportunities. You’ll find that life is better when great people and great opportunities are magnetized to you.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why you should put a smile on every time you get your dial on.

Have you ever thought about how you look when you make a phone call? It is easy to think that your appearance doesn’t matter. After all, the person on the other end of the call doesn’t see you. Unless you are a Close Caller. Which is like a Close Talker, only you use your phone, because you can. Which is weird.

But your appearance on a phone call does matter. Because how you look influences how you feel. Even if you are thousands of miles away, the person on the other end of the conversation will pick up on how you feel. And it will influence what they send back to you.

You’re Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile.

When I make or take a phone call, I always put a smile on my face before I start talking. It magically brightens my mood. Because smiling is the ultimate human happiness hack. You don’t have to be happy to smile. You can smile to be happy.

In fact, many a scientific study have proven that your responses to questions are significantly more positive when you hold a pencil between your teeth the broad way. Holding a pencil this way forces you to smile. And the forced smile has the same effect as the real thing. And while Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell would have you believe there ain’t nothing like the real thing (baby), Guy Smiley and Happy Gilmore would disagree.

When you put a smile on your face before a phone call it makes good things happen. It influences what you say, how you say it, and how you respond to your telephonic partner. It makes the call more enjoyable for the other person. It helps you overcome anxiousness when making an important call. And if the call goes poorly, well, it’s easy to laugh it off if you are already in a smiling position.

Key Takeaway

Next time you pick up the phone, first pick up the corners of your mouth. Wearing a smile will positively impact everything about the call. It will make you sound warmer and more likable. It will influence the words you choose. It will leave a lasting impression on the person on the other end. It can even make them look forward to talking to you again.

If you want to try it now, put on a smile and call my number at 614-256-2850. If I don’t answer, leave a message and let me know you’re practicing your Smile Call. When I call you back you can bet I’ll be smiling too.

*If you’d rather not call me, but would still like to hear what I’m thinking, consider subscribing to this blog. If you want to read about another fun smiling technique I use, read Kickstart your day with this powerful and simple habit.