Tag: self improvement

The award I have been obsessed with since high school.

When I was in high school I participated in track and field each spring. It was the perfect sport for someone like me who lives at the Venn diagram intersection of interested-in-self-improvement and terrible-at-baseball.

Track & field is simple to understand. It provides clear and immediate feedback on both your performance and your improvement. If your times go down, or your distances go up, you improved. If your measures go backward, you are going backward. As Jerry Reed sang, ‘When you’re hot you’re hot. When you’re not you’re not.’ Nothing is subjective.

However, at the end of each season, there was one subjective element: The Awards Banquet.

At Hanover High School in Hanover, New Hampshire, there were 4 awards handed out at the Track & Field Team banquet.

1. Freshman Of The Year.

2. Most improved.

3. MVP

4 The Samuelson Award for Oustanding Athlete (The award was named after the Samuelson family that Olympic gold medal marathoner Joan Benoit Samuelson married into. Her husband Scott has now held our high school’s pole vault record for 47 years.)

During my 4-year high school track and field career, I won 3 out of 4 of our school’s awards. But there was only one of them that I really wanted.

Freshman Year

I was totally forgettable my first year. While I scored enough points at meets that season to earn a varsity letter I wasn’t turning any heads. My good friend Ben Soderholm was the Freshman Of The Year. No contest. Ben was special right out of the blocks. Looking back now I figure that God knew that his life would be a sprint and he better get started fast to get as much in as he could during his relatively short life. (I miss you bro. Also, I realize that you probably don’t read my blog posts anymore. Or do you…)

Sophomore Year

My sophomore year I improved 30 feet in the discus and 7 feet in the shot put. I placed well in our conference meet and in the state championship meet in the discus. At the banquet, I was named the Most Improved Athlete.

Junior Year

My junior year I improved another 31 feet in the discus, and another 6 feet in the shot put. I was the state champion, New England Champion, and broke our school record in the discus. I also ran some hurdles, sprints and high jumped too. None of those performances would have won me any awards other than Most Willing To Be Vulnerable. At the banquet, I was named the team MVP.

Senior Year

My senior year I won a state championship, repeated as the New England champion, and set a state record that would stand for 12 years. At the banquet, I won the Samuelson Award as the Outstanding Athlete (male or female).

Me and my Mom and Dad after my last high school track meet in East Hartford, CT where I defended my New England title in the discus and broke the state record.

While I was certainly honored to win the Samuelson Award, I was envious of my teammate who won Most Improved. I was obsessed with that award. It was my personal quirk. But that quirk served me well. And the obsession with the MIA award is what won me the other 2 awards.

Reflection

I wanted to improve so much each year that I would be the obvious and undisputed Most Improved Athlete each year, no matter how good I became. It was a healthy obsession. (Not a case of possession obsession.) I loved the work. I loved the sacrifice. I loved the process. And I loved the results like Joan Jett loves rock n’ roll.

Looking back several decades later, I also loved what the process of improvement in track and field taught me about improvement in the rest of my life. The desire to greet each day a little better than the day before is core to my mission and my self-image.

Today, I am focused on self-improvement in various roles including:

  • Husband
  • Father
  • Friend
  • Entrepreneur
  • Marketer
  • Investor
  • Coach
  • Author
  • Speaker
  • Person who has a body. (I am focused on improving my fitness. But this construct made it awkward to state that. Sorry.)
  • List maker

Today, much of my self-improvement comes from reading, studying, and reflecting on what works and what doesn’t. It comes through listening to the wisdom of others. And through trial and error. It is a product of accumulating knowledge. As a result, I get better at things slowly, but steadily.

The most encouraging part of my journey is that I can feel the improvement. Just as I could tell that I was improving as an athlete thanks to the tape measure, I can tell that I am better at the 10 roles listed above. And as I get better at these, other people inquire about my approach to each of these roles. I have found that the simplest measure of your improvement in any area is whether or not people are asking you for insights and advice on that topic.

Key Takeaway

Life is one long self-improvement journey. Take what you learned about self-improvement through athletics, music, dance, acting, scouts, or any other childhood activity and apply it to your adult roles. Get a little bit better every day. The compounding effect of your improvements will change your life in ways that you can’t even imagine.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The fastest way to get to your goals.

The shortest distance between 2 points is work.

Dreaming and considering are easy to do. But they don’t do doo-doo to get the job done.

Sure, wishin’ and hopin’ and thinkin’ and prayin’ worked for Dusty Springfield. But only because she wrote them down and turned them into a song.

But for the rest of us, they delay the process. They spin your wheels.

It is the work that provides traction that creates progress.

The writing creates the book.

The cooking creates the meal.

The steps create the journey.

The trial creates the error. And the correction. And the completion.

The doing creates the done.

Key Takeaway

The plan is only 1% of the process. Executing it is every else. Put in the work and get from start to finish faster.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Is this your thing or is it leading you to your thing?

I want you to stop for a moment and think.

Think about where you are in life right now.

Think about your work, your school, or your primary non-cinnamon role.

Ask yourself:

  • ‘Is this the thing I am destined to do?’
  • ‘Is this what I have been working towards?’
  • ‘Have I arrived?’
  • ‘Or is this simply leading me to where I am going?’

It is easy to think that where you are right now is your story, role, or great achievement.

But if you are growing, there is always more. Like the sizes at a Big and Tall clothing store.

There are new chapters. New challenges. New knowledge. New capabilities. And new identities. And if you are Mork from Ork, there is Nanu Nanu.

I have been surprised by how many doors I have passed through at the back of wardrobes. But instead of finding lions, and witches, I keep finding new opportunities and perspectives.

These doors have led me to great new experiences that I didn’t realize were coming. But now I expect more incredible things ahead. Which is probably how Dave Grohl feels.

It is a beautiful place to be in your life, career, or avocation when you expect more and better roles in your future because growth and transformation have become the rule, not the exception.

Key Takeaway

Keep going. Keep Growing. There is more and better ahead.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

I reread one of my favorite books and realize you never read the same book twice.

Before I launched the advertising and ideas agency, The Weaponry, I read an article about Pharrell Williams in Fast Company. In the article, the famously happy singer, songwriter, and producer talked about his success and inspirations that have helped him along the way. He didn’t mention the Arby’s hat.

Williams raved about the book The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. In fact, he claimed that this book was like his Bible. And since The Bible is my Bible, I figured The Alchemist was probably also worth reading. So I bought a used copy. And I devoured it. (In a literary way, not a digestive track-way.)

The book helped me think about the story of my life and my personal legend. It made me start paying attention to all the signs the universe was sending me, encouraging me to follow my own path. This was highly valuable because at the time the universe started putting up neon signs everywhere. Like Reno.

Those signs were telling me that I should launch a new ad agency. So I did, in part because The Alchemist helped me recognize the signs, and taught me that when you want something enough the whole universe conspires to help you get it. (Except maybe for short sellers. Those people love a good dumpster fire.)

Shortly after reading The Alchemist, I started my entrepreneurial adventure. That was 7 years ago. Entrepreneurship led me to blog. Which led me to write my first book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? Which has led me to amazing speaking opportunities. Which has made me think a lot about what’s next for me and my personal story.

So I recently picked up The Alchemist again. I eagerly read through it in 3 days. But I also recently read a quote (or maybe it was a fortune cookie) that said You never read the same book twice. That was definitely true of my reread of The Alchemist.

This time around I didn’t feel like I was just starting my journey. I felt like I was in the thick of writing my story every day, with the universe as my co-author. And the story keeps getting better. Today I feel a little like Clark Kent or Bruce Banner must have felt once they began understanding their superpowers. Except my superpowers are more like smiling, offering encouragement, and dropping random pop culture references. But I’ll take what I can get, yes I’ll take what I can get. (And then she looked at me with big brown eyes and said…)

Key Takeaway:

Read The Alchemist. Or re-read it if you have read it before. You will find something new and inspiring. I am sure there are signs the universe is giving you right now that you don’t recognize. This book will help you see.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How taking action today can change your life forever.

Today you are going to do something good for yourself.

You will read. Or exercise. Or work on a big project. Or practice something you want to become great at. Maybe you will eat right. Or write. Or Orville Wright.

But one day is only one day. And if you stop there the progress and impact will be minimal.

Because one good day is just one good day, mate.

But if you can string 5 to 7 of them together you have a great week. (If you string 6 together I think you have a guitar.)

When you string 4 great weeks together you have a great month.

A few great months make a great season. Or a great year.

String together great years and you have a great career.

Or even better, you have a great life.

Great careers and great lives leave a legacy.

But it all starts with one good day of taking action.

Make that day today.

Key Takeaway

Do something good for yourself today. Then repeat it tomorrow. And the next day. Build good actions into habits. Your habits build momentum. And ultimately they create all of your successes, your life, and your legacy. It’s easier than you think. Just get started. And don’t stop.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The best way to have a great year is to tighten your tolerances.

Yesterday morning, at 6 am, my alarm went off, just like it does every weekday. But yesterday the alarm woke me up in the middle of a dream. Which is rude. Because dream sleep, or REM sleep, is the hardest to wake up from. In fact, it is so deep that in REM sleep not even Wham wants you to wake them up before you go go.

As a result of my alarm going off during my body’s no-wake zone, I didn’t spring out of bed immediately, like I usually do. I lay in bed thinking ‘Dude, it’s time to get up.’

I was disappointed with myself for how long I was laying in bed. And I really dislike disappointing myself. I pride myself on being a morning person. The whole, laying-in-bed all morning thing was messing with my self-construct. And I don’t like anyone messing with my self-construct. Especially me.

Finally, I put a smile on my face (which is my daily habit #1) and I motivated myself enough to crawl out of bed.

I grabbed my pillows to make my side of the bed. (Which is daily habit #2.)

As I grabbed the pillows I reluctantly glanced down at the clock on my nightstand the way you might look at the bathroom scale the morning after you skipped a workout and replaced it with a Brontosaurus burger with a side of large fries covered in gravy and cheese, and washed it all down with a cake shake.

Even though I thought I was prepared for the worst, when my eyes finally found the digital numbers displayed on my alarm clock I was stunned.

It was 6:01 am.

Key Takeaway

Raise your standards. Create great discipline and high expectations. By shrinking your tolerances you will experience greater results. And you will live closer and closer to your ideal life. This is one of the best things you can do for yourself in the new year. Because your standards and tolerances drive your self-improvement efforts. And they will ensure you are a better person a year from now than you are today. Which is the greatest gift you can give yourself.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my new book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Add one valuable new thing to your life every day.

During the 25 days leading up to Christmas, it’s a tradition to count the days with an advent calendar. Each day this calendar is opened to reveal a daily gift. There are a variety of themed calendars. Some offer a good bible verse, a small toy, a chocolate, a saying, or an ornament. (I’m holding out for the mini-oven calendar, where you open a tiny oven door to remove freshly baked muffin tops every morning.) But regardless of the theme, these calendars provide a daily gift to look forward to each day as we get closer to Christmas. Kinda like the Lifetime Network.

For the self-improver, life is like an advent calendar. Every day there is a new gift to be discovered. A new quote. A new idea. A new relationship. A new source of inspiration. A new motivation. A new goal. A new lesson. (And in New Hampshire there is a new Sununu.)

When I wrote my book What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? I collected 80 of the best life lessons I have learned and shared them with the world. Many of the people who read the book tell me they use it like an advent calendar. They read one of the 2-4 page lessons every day. Then they apply the new idea, knowledge, or skill to improve their life. As the author, this is extremely rewarding feedback. As the author, it is extremely rewarding to hear that other people get as much out of the lessons I share as I did.

Key Takeaway #1

Commit to making your life a living, breathing advent calendar. Look for your daily gift that makes you better. Then add that new lesson, story, saying, person or idea to your personal treasure chest by writing it down in a journal. When you do you will quickly transform that once-empty journal into the most valuable book in your library. Remember, when you condition yourself to find a daily treasure the treasure will surely appear.

Follow Up…

Within a minute of writing this post, I got a text from my friend Molly Fay, host of The Morning Blend on TMJ4 (NBC) in Milwaukee. She wrote that they had a cancelation for the next day’s show, and wondered if I could fill in. I responded with an enthusiastic Let’s do this! Then she asked if I had a topic in mind related to the upcoming holidays.

I replied, ‘Yes! Advent Calendars.”

The next morning (yesterday) at 9:00am I was on set with Molly and co-host Tiffany Ogle sharing this idea on TV. You can watch the segment here.

Me, Molly, Tiffany, my book, a yellow couch, and two Yeti cups. No partridge. No pear tree.

Key Takeaway #2

Be the kind of person others can turn to when they need help. Because at the end of our days the only thing that really matters is the impact we have on each other.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+If you are interested in daily life lessons for yourself or as a gift, check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

You made a great plan. Then life got in the way. What do you do now?

Humans are extremely intelligent animals. We have been able to transform the planet to better suit our needs. We envision a world that doesn’t exist and then we create plans to make it a reality. We are like the Walt Disney of the animal kingdom. (Meaning the real animal kingdom, not the Animal Kingdom that Disney created to illustrate this point.)

Humans are really good at knowing what actions we should take to get the result we want. In a perfect world, we would always get the results we wanted. Because we would always take the right steps. Like John Travolta.

But between deciding on the right actions to take and actually taking them a funny thing often happens. Not funny haha. Funny strange.

Every day, all over this big blue marble, the regular events of life get in the way of our plans.

Things change. New demands pop up. Curveballs get thrown. Wrenches get thrown. And eventually, the towel gets thrown in the ring.

But there is one simple solution that will prevent your plan from failing.

Remember that play that you were going to run to make your plans a reality? Before the noise and static?

Run the play anyway.

Do what you set out to do.

Modify your execution if you have to.

Take shorter actions.

Or change the time frame.

Adjust your process to work with the new conditions.

But don’t make excuses.

Change what needs to be changed.

But not the play.

You know that play will work.

Key Takeaway

Run the play anyway. You know it is right. You just need to run it.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my new book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

When your mind and body wrestle who wins?

The human is the most fascinating of all machines. It is a walking, talking, taco-eating miracle made of 2 distinct parts.

First, there is the physical part. The body. It’s the part of the human that we can see and touch. (With consent.) It is the most obvious part. But it is also the least interesting.

The second part of the human is the mind. This is where the thinking takes place. This is where humans are most interesting and differentiated. If you think people look different on the outside, you would be shocked by how different people’s minds operate. For proof, see the new Netflix series Dahmer. (Or just take my word for it and you will sleep better tonight.)

For better or worse, your mind and body are married for life. Like Thunder and Lightening, Brooks and Dunn, or Mike & Ikes. Your life is a result of how well your mind and body work together.

The key to the mind-body collaboration is who is in control. Because both highly successful people and highly unsuccessful people know what they should do. The difference is that successful people do what they know they should and unsuccessful people don’t.

The Question

Who is in control, your mind or your body?

Who determines if you get out of bed or hit the snooze button?

Who determines if you thumb through your phone or work on that important project?

Who determined whether you exercise?

Or eat the way you know you should?

Or take any action at all?

If your mind is not telling your body what to do, your body is in control.

Mind Your Mind.

Your mind knows your goals and vision. It knows what needs to happen to get there. Your body doesn’t have goals beyond rest, food, pleasure, and safety. So if your mind has goals that expand beyond those 4 areas, it has to be in charge, or you will never achieve your goals. Unless your goal is to be featured on My 600-Pound Life.

When you experience moments of weakness or laziness, recognize that you are experiencing a battle for control between your mind and body. If your body wins, you lose. But if your mind is in control, and can make your body do what it needs to do, there is no limit to what you can achieve.

Key Takeaway

The key to long-term success, accomplishment and happiness is that your mind must be in control. Your thinking, planning and visioning must lead to the right actions. It is not enough to think and know. Accomplishment and progress come through doing. So provide your body with the fuel and sleep it needs. Then let your mind take over to accomplish the rest.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my new book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The best first step to take to be highly successful.

Last week I was a guest on the ContenderCast Podcast with host Justin Honaman, Justin interviewed me about entrepreneurship, and the things I have learned by launching and running the advertising and idea agency, The Weaponry. We discussed lessons from my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? And we talked about his transition from Diet Coke to Coke Zero. (This paragraph has been brought to you by Coke Zero.)

I can’t wait for the podcast episode to drop. I expect it will change my life the way Sara Blakely’s life changed when she went on the Oprah Winfrey show. So don’t be surprised if the world starts wearing my undergarments too.

Advice

One of the great questions Justin asked me was, ‘What advice do you have for other people who want to start their own businesses?’

My answer was clear and instant:

Spend time with people who have already done it.

But that advice is not specifically for want-to-be entrepreneurs. Or wantrepreneurs.

It is the best advice I can share about any type of success and achievement.

The best way to achieve a massive goal is to spend time with people who have already done what you want to do.

When you spend time with superstars their mindset rubs off on you. Unlike tickets on the Polar Express, their mindset is transferrable.

Spending time with high achievers is like going to a Success Optometrist. They help you see success in much greater detail. You see the actions they take, the mindset they have adopted, and the relationships they develop and maintain.

When you see those things up close you realize that you can do all of those things too. Suddenly, your belief in what is possible expands. Your risk tolerance increases. Your view of money transforms. And your excuses fade away.

There is an intelligence that increases with increasing levels of success. It can appear mysterious or unattainable from a distance. But once you have a front-row seat to higher levels of success, it demystifies the process. It’s like seeing how magic tricks are actually performed. You quickly realize there is no magic. There are simply skills developed, practiced, and perfected until it looks like magic.

Key Takeaway

Seek out successful people. Step into their orbit and let their positive peer pressure propel you. Notice the way they act, read, and think. Modify their approaches to your needs and style. Soak up the education and inspiration. It will change your life like nothing else can. Because when you are close to those who model the behavior you want to see in yourself you can’t help but replicate it. It’s like a language immersion program. Only the language is success. Soon you’ll notice others who want to get close to you and learn how you do what you do. That’s when you know it works.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my new book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.