Tag: self improvement

Want to be an overachiever? Here’s the simple formula.

My friend Steve recently left me an interesting voicemail. He called to talk about some of my kids’ recent successes. But I couldn’t answer when he called because I was busy with kids’ stuff. It felt like I was living the lyrics from a sappy country song that you might use for a graduation or wedding video. (I will totally be making that video, with that song.)

When I listened to Steve’s voicemail, the following line stood out:

‘Wow! From what you have been sharing on social media lately it looks like your kids are really overachievers!

-Supportive Steve

Specifically, the word overachievers donged in my head. (Kinda like the dong you hear every time you see Long Duk Dong in 16 Candles.)

I know that Steve was being kind. And, yes, I share my 3 teenage children’s successes on the socials. But I never thought of my kids as overachievers. So I asked my wife Dawn if she thought our children were overachievers. She laughed and fired back an emphatic No! So I knew I wasn’t crazy. Or a bad dad. (At least not for this.)

So I found myself analyzing the word Overachiever. Overachieving is really about exceeding expectations. That is not what is happening with my children. In fact, my 3 kids are generally at the standards we have set together.

This is a result of 4 important factors.

  1. We have discovered and supported our children’s talents and interests.
  2. We have set reasonably high standards.
  3. We think long-term, and set long-term goals
  4. We believe in the power of compounded effort.

As a result, our children have put a significant amount of effort into various combinations of academics, music, and athletics. (There also has been a significant amount of effort put into not emptying the dishwasher.) And you get out of life what you put in.

The Not-So-Secret Formula

The key to achievement is to identify your talents and interests. Then work consistently to develop them into strengths over a long period of time. This means several years. Or decades. When you do you will pull away from those who dabble at the same activities.

Because when you doggy paddle you don’t make much progress. But if you learn a basic swim stroke, and apply it repeatedly, day after day, year after year, you can swim across an ocean. And when you get to the far shore, people will say, Wow! You swam across a frick’n ocean! How did you do that? The answer is simple. ‘I learned a swim stroke, and just kept repeating it until I ran out of water.’

Success is usually some combination of the following two areas:

1. Gaining strength or stamina

2. Refining technique

Both of these things are done slowly over time. Most people don’t have the patience to stick with these activities long enough. They become bored. Or distracted. Or don’t feel like the effort is paying off fast enough. But if you stick with your activities long enough you will find yourself in another world. Thanks to the compounding effect of your efforts.

So what is overachieving? It is simply normal achieving, done consistently over a longer timeframe.

Key Takeaway

To become an overachiever, find your talents and interests. Do the little things you need to do to improve in those areas. Practice your technique. Work on your strength. Build your stamina. And then just don’t stop. Eventually, those efforts will carry you past all of those who put in less effort, inconsistent effort, or stop working altogether. When you surpass those who achieve the norm, you will be considered an overachiever. And people will call you to congratulate you.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why no one else can see the most important work you do.

Your self-improvement work is not obvious work. It is not showy. No one can watch you do it. It would be pretty boring to watch in a zoo. Or in a red-light district. Because it happens on the inside. In fact, the most important work you do is changing your mindset, your beliefs and your habits. And not just changing. Upgrading.

Upgrading Yourself

Upgrading your thoughts is big. Upgrading your responses is huge. Upgrading your whole operating system changes everything.

This is why education is so important. It exposes you to new ideas that you can incorporate into your own thinking. But it is not enough to educate. The application is where the value appears. So you must first understand that there is a better way, then act in that better way. This is the basic plot of the movie Billy Madison. (This classic film also includes important reminders of the power of nepotism and some top-shelf potty humor.)

The More You Learn…

Develop the habit of learning new ideas. This is done through curiosity and a desire for self-improvement. It will lead you to seek and find new and better sources of information. You’ll find it in classes, books, articles, podcasts, blogs, videos, experts, and fortune cookies. (And even in books about fortune cookies.)

Apply Your Knowledge

Once you have better information, it becomes knowledge. Applying your knowledge in your various roles makes you a more valuable contributor.

Think about everything that you know you should do today. Eat right. Sleep well. Exercise. Read. Work in focused and productive ways. Invest in your relationships. Invest your money. Give back. See a doctor. Floss. Close your barn door. You and everyone else on the planet know that you should be doing those things.

But are you doing them?

There are two types of people:

  1. People who know the basic actions they should take. (This includes nearly everyone.)
  2. People who take the basic actions they know they should take. (This includes far less than everyone.)

This means that basic action is the great separator of people. But go beyond the basics. The things everyone knows they should do. Self-education helps you level up. It helps you discover the other things should you be doing if you want to be even more valuable in your career, as a spouse, parent, or friend. What is the next level of health and fitness? What is the next level of investing? Or productivity? Or spiritual enlightenment? That knowledge comes from more curiosity and more self-directed learning.

Just like a pyramid, that may or may not have been built by aliens, there are fewer and fewer people at each level as you ascend. Which means that the success pyramid is really a matter of attaining knowledge and then applying that knowledge. To take a full step higher you have to do both: attain and apply. Because it is the person who applies their new knowledge and self-improvement that is ultimately successful.

Key Takeaway

Always be learning. Educate yourself on new and better approaches to all areas of life and work. This is the invisible work of self-improvement. Then put that knowledge into action. And when you do it will change your life in ways that everyone will see.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to get a great book buzz from reading.

Earlier this week I started two new books. The physical book I cracked is Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara. At The Weaponry, we know that excellent customer service is one of the 3 key ingredients of our success. (Along with great creative ideas and a fun experience for everyone involved.) So a book about the extremities of hospitality is a valuable, insightful and motivating read for me. Especially once I realized it wasn’t about being hospitalized for no reason.

The other book I began this week as an audiobook is The Obstacle Is The Way, by Ryan Holiday. The basic premise of this book is that the obstacles you face are the keys to your own greatness. They are motivating, instructional and strengthening stimuli. Like dumbells, barbells and unloading groceries from Costco.

My Book Buzz

With these two new books stimulating my brain this week, I found my internal fire burning hotter than usual. My energy and enthusiasm for my work, life and personal projects are elevated. Which is exciting for someone with a high baseline of enthusiasm.

Just as the world reaches for mugs of coffee, cups of tea and cans of Red Bull in the morning to kickstart the day, diving into a good book can elevate your energy for life. Reading the right books, articles and blog posts is like filling your car with fuel, charging your phone with electricity, and filling your body with good food. Reading can provide a great rush. Yet it’s much better for you than cocaine, heroin or ecstasy. Which is why librarians live so long.

Slam A Book When You Need A Boost

If you could use a kick of motivation, inspiration, or any other -ation, grab a book. It’s amazing how energizing they can be.

Biographies offer insights into the habits, actions and mindsets of highly successful people. They are like sitting down with successful people and having them share their secrets with you. What you’ll often find is that these people are much more like you than you thought. They just took more action, bigger risks or worked longer at their objective. Reading biographies inspires you to live a life that should be biographized. Or is it biographisized? (Or does that mean you are living a life that is the size of a bio graph?)

Business books offer insights into the processes, cultures, values and philosophies of great companies. These books are loaded with things you and your organization can adopt. Which is exciting and motivating. Because while it takes a lot of effort to be Apple, it’s easy to apply new ideas that help your business stop operating like a rotten tomato.

Self Improvement books share valuable techniques, mindsets and reminders that you can apply to your own life. Self-emprovement books are highly valuable because they help you become a better person today than you were yesterday. Which is the greatest aim in life. Plus, these books provide inspiring examples of those who have improved themselves and achieved great things using the golden advice found in the book. #Midas #Rumpelstiltskin #RayKroc

History books share the greatest success stories of humankind. They share how greatness was accomplished, how oppression was overcome, how ingenuity led to innovations and inventions that changed the world. Because humans are amazing creatures. So read your history. Or herstory. Or theirstory.

Fictional literature is full of inspirational stories of people who faced challenges, setbacks and difficult situations and overcame them. From boy wizards to old men and the sea, we can learn something empowering from them all. Plus, these books usually have a lot more dirty words and often contain descriptions of naughty acts. Both of which are more fun to read about than Six Sigma methodology.

Key Takeaway

Reading is a powerful and underrated source of inspiration, motivation and enthusiasm. Reading reminds you of the power of action. It reminds you that there are solutions to challenging problems. Books introduce you to mentors, coaches and cheerleaders in written form. So if you want to attack the day tomorrow with more zeal, read something great today.

If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The resistance you are facing is a valuable gift.

Life isn’t easy. How could it be? You live on a planet with 8 billion people who are always getting in your way. Throw in gravity, the laws of physics and the constraints of time and space, and life on Earth becomes a gigantic obstacle course. It’s like Wipeout. Only everyone has to carry a coffee and a mobile phone.

But the obstacles are what make your adventure interesting. A video game is an intriguing challenge specifically because of the elements added to prevent you from reaching your goals. Your real life works the same way. Only here in the real world, when you die, you really die. Which means that we are all starring in our own horizontal version of Free Solo.

But don’t curse your challenges. They are a gift. The resistance makes the story. That injury you face is there for you to overcome and make your triumph even sweeter. The bad boss, the job you lost, the pitch you didn’t win, and the thing that broke are all setbacks that set you up for a great comeback.

It’s hard to look forward to adversity. We prefer smooth sailing. But when you reflect on your human experience, it’s easy to see that adversity creates advantages. The resistance builds strength. And friction summons resolve. Those are gifts that stay with you forever. Like luggage.

Key Takeaway

Resistance is a gift. It makes you stronger. More resourceful. More capable. And more confident. Right now, you are becoming a stronger machine. And your story keeps getting better.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

This week I was reminded of a valuable life lesson thanks to a Starbucks mishap.

On Thursday morning I met my great friend Roland ‘Rocky’ Larochelle for breakfast. We hadn’t seen each other for more than a year. When I arrived at the Starbucks he met me by the front door and we heartily greeted each other. It was a great start to the morning. Like Tony The Tiger Great.

Roland had already ordered, so I walked to the counter and ordered a breakfast sandwich and grabbed a chocolate milk from the cooler. Because chocolate milk is my jam. Then I made my way to the small round table where Roland was sitting with his vente coffee. As I sat down, excited to catch up on the past year with an old friend, Roland moved his coffee to the side of the table to make room for me. This is typically an uneventful act. But that morning, the act was most definitely eventful.

In the process of moving his tall and freshly full coffee, the cup tripped and tipped. In an instant, the entire drink splashed onto the table and then poured onto the floor.

The aftermath. It looks like the coffee spilled in the shape of Pangea.

That’s Just Life

These types of mishaps happen all the time. Things are constantly going wrong in both our professional and personal lives. How you respond to such events determines the tone of your life.

You can allow such incidents to make you angry, bitter, deflated or depressed. Or, you can recognize that these setbacks are an expected and unavoidable element of life. You take the hit and roll with it. Like Tina Turner. (That was supposed to be a reference to Proud Mary, not Ike.)

The filter you use to interpret your setbacks determines whether you are floored by them or strengthened.

The Response

For a brief moment after the spill, there was no response. It was like that moment after you see a flash of lightning before you hear the inevitable thunder. You know it’s coming. But you don’t know how soon it will hit. And you don’t know if it will rumble or crack.

Then it hit.

Roland and I both erupted in laughter. It was the best possible response. We recognized that our 20-year friendship had just added another funny story. A new layer. An event to talk about.

Roland is clearly a great guy to spill coffee with.

There is no use crying over spilled coffee. Even $7 coffee. So we moved our things to the next table and began the clean-up. We grabbed napkins and notified the barista-janitor behind the counter of the caffeinetastrophe that had just occurred at table #9.

Within 2 minutes there were no signs of the spill on the table or the floor. Just as the final drops were being mopped another Barista in her superhero apron appeared at our table and presented Roland with a replacement coffee that she had made without us even asking. Thanks, SuperBarsista! You saved the day!

Key Takeaway

Setbacks happen. Everywhere, all the time. It’s not your bad luck. It is life. And physics. Those things are constantly spilling your drinks, breaking your things, blocking your progress, and stealing your time. Just roll with it. These are the basic challenges in the game of life. Keep playing. It makes the whole adventure of life more interesting. It makes you stronger and more capable for the next challenge. And all those setbacks transform into stories. And sooner or later you realize that a good life is just a collection of good stories.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Do you have any idea what you are capable of?

There is nothing on earth more inspiring than an acorn.

The acorn appears small and benign.

Its little hat makes it seem pre-school cute.

Its marbley size makes the acorn look like a plaything.

Or squirrel food.

Or slingshot ammunition.

Or decorative bowl filler.  

It is easy to look at an acorn and assume that a cute little acorn is all it will ever be.

But don’t be fooled.

But the acorn has ambition.

And spirit.

And a master plan. Like Eric B. And Rakim

You see, the acorn doesn’t identify itself as an acorn.

It thinks bigger. Much bigger.

But the acorn is patient.

The acorn sits calm like a bomb. Waiting for the sun, water, and soil to create the right conditions to detonate.

Then, boom!

It explodes in every direction.

Up into the sky.

Down into the soil.

And radiating in 360 degrees.

It goes. And goes. And goes. And goes.

It transforms itself into an epic force of nature.

It becomes a machine.

A factory.

It creates air.

And food.

And shelter.

That cute little acorn becomes one of the biggest, strongest, most impactful forces on the planet.

Key Takeaway

Be an acorn.

Make your master plan come true.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The new year is the perfect time for a clean new start.

On New Year’s Day, I cleaned out my stuff. 

I started by Marie Kondoing my dresser drawers. I removed things I don’t wear. Everything else got folded and fabric-filed in order of the colors of the rainbow. Which made me wonder, why are there so many songs about rainbows?

Then I went to my home office and emptied and organized my desk drawers. Everything that shouldn’t be in them is now gone like the wind.

On Tuesday, my first day of work in 2024, I cleaned off my desk at The Weaponry. Only the essentials remained. Which created a good operating space. (For doing advertising work, not actual operating-operating.)

I emptied my work bag. I replaced only the essentials. My computer, notebooks, pens and a set of earplugs, in case my work takes me to a NASCAR race, or I face a challenge so big that my brain suddenly starts leaking out of my ears.

I also cleaned out my gym bag.

The Result

The year feels new.

I am not carrying any unnecessary baggage from last year.

My drawers are neat and organized, not stuffed with disorganized things that become obstacles to overcome while searching for things I need. My drawers are now tools for me to use. They are ready to receive. There is room in the inn.

It creates a refreshing start to 2024. I walk to work lighter. I walk into the gym lighter. I am ready for new things. And I have space in my life for them. I wish the same for you.

Key Takeaway

Clean out the unnecessary, and start the year fresh. Don’t carry baggage from last year. The purging and organizing will make the new year feel new. It makes it easier to create new and better habits and processes. And a great year is simply a product of attitude, gratitude, habits and processes.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why January is a great time to feel uncomfortable.

Happy New Year! That is what we say to people in January. But Januarys aren’t supposed to be happy. Not even if you are a Gilmore. Or Pharell Williams.

In November you should feel thankful. In December you should feel Joy. (Comfort & Joy…) But in January, if you are doing things right, you should feel uncomfortable.

January is meant to be a time for change. It is a time for new goals, resolutions, and habit alteration. (Even if you are not a fashionable nun.)

If you are introducing new habits, new thinking and new actions don’t expect to feel happy right now. Expect to feel uncomfortable. And the more comfortable you are with feeling uncomfortable now, the happier you will be later.

Feeling uncomfortable now is a sign that you are trying something new. You are changing your routine. You are creating a new habit. You are experimenting.

You feel uncomfortable when you take new risks. It is a sign of growth. And learning. This is how you push your own envelope. This is how you discover better approaches.

This is January stuff. This is New Year stuff. This is how you get to the new You.

Key Takeaway

A great year of growth and improvement begins with changes in January. Feeling uncomfortable right now is a great sign. Getting uncomfortable now is how you break through to a new level of comfort later. Keep going. It gets better. And so will you.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

16 reasons why 2023 was my best year ever.

Happy New Year! Now that 2023 is in the proverbial books I have taken a moment to reflect. And I like what I see. 2023 may have been my best year ever. I don’t know if you can truly rank order your years. But I also don’t know if Georgia can have a fiddle-off between Johnny and the Devil, but according to Charlie Daniels, they did. And Johnny won. So here’s the supporting evidence from my 2023.

Why 2023 was my best year ever.

  1. I was healthy. No flu. No Covid. No broken parts. I got my first colonoscopy this year and they were amazed by what they saw. (Or didn’t see.) I was told to come back in 10 years. I also found that the prep work didn’t bother me. Which is a win. (Get yourself checked. It could save your life.)

2. I feel fit. I feel strong. And not just for being 50 years old. My good physical habits have been compounding. My body weight is under my high school graduation weight. And I think I would still be a valuable asset on a hay rack, bucket brigade, or trust fall.

3. My Happy Marriage. I celebrated my 21st wedding anniversary with my wonderful wife Dawn. She’s my best friend and I love her like crazy. A happy marriage makes you feel like you are winning at life. Which is a great consolation when the Patriots have a terrible year.

4. My Business Had A Record Year: The Weaponry, the advertising and idea agency I lead, recorded its best year ever in 2023. And we celebrated 7 years in business. I love my work. I am part of an amazing team. And we have really great clients. Plus I never have to wear a tie or a name badge.

5. Speaking Engagements: I had my biggest year of speaking engagements in 2023. I traveled all over the country sharing positive messages of self-improvement. Plus people paid me and bought copies of my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? And I met amazing new people. It was almost too good to be true. But I have pictures to prove it really happened.

6. Travel: I had a huge year of travel. My family and I went to London, Paris, Switzerland, Munich, Chicago, Boston, New Hampshire, Vermont, Indiana, Kentucky, Ohio, Tennesee, South Carolina, North Carolina, Georgia and Alabama. For work, I added California, Florida, Texas, Colorado, Utah, Cape Cod, and Minnesota. For someone who loves to travel this year’s adventures were like a buffet of Buddy Elf’s 4 food groups.

7. Guys Weekend: I also traveled to Puerto Rico with my high school friends Matt Prince, James Colligan and Dan Richards to celebrate our 50th year. The trip was epic. In fact, this trip alone could have made 2023 the best year ever. Ask me about this in person if you want a great story. (And let me know if I still have mud in my teeth from the off-roading we did.)

8. Dudes Dinners: I do a regular thing called Dudes Dinner with a crew of impressive guys in Mequon, Wisconsin. It’s great quality guy time with food, laughs, great stories, togetherness, and book recommendations. All dudes should have a group of dudes like these dudes.

9. Track Season: My daughter Ava had a great track season in the spring of 2023. She throws the discus and had 6 first-place finishes, 2 second-places, and 1 third-place finish. She is now 2 feet off her school’s 44-year-old discus record, with her senior season coming up this spring. She has made huge improvements in technique and strength in the off-season. Did I mention that I am her coach? So I get both Dad-joy and Coach-joy out of her success.

10. Football Season: I also coach my son Magnus’s football team. We had our best season ever in 2023. After winning 1 game in 5th grade and 2 games in 6th grade, this year the 7th graders went 5-3. Magnus had about 25 tackles for losses, a blocked punt, a blocked kick and a safety. (Did I mention I am the defensive coordinator?) On offense, he scored a 72-yard touchdown. So I got the same kind of double Dad-joy/Coach-joy I enjoyed during the track season. The bonds that these boys create with each other through football are amazing. And the father-son bond is like Kragle.

11. Music Success: My son Johann is a talented musician. In the spring he won the Wisconsin State Federation Piano Competition. He also takes saxophone lessons from a very talented professor at UW Milwaukee. Our home is always full of Johann’s beautiful music. I often can’t tell whether the music in my house is the stereo or the sonny-o.

12. I read 41 books: I set a goal of reading 24 books this year and blew past it. I read a lot of books in 2023 that made me feel smarter and more insightful, like the Scarecrow at the end of The Wizard of Oz when he finally gets a brain.

13. My Home: 2 years ago we moved into our new home in Mequon. It’s the first home I have lived in as an adult that I didn’t consider temporary. We have been remodeling the attic above the garage into a guest suite and upgrading the workout room in the basement into an amazing home gym. Both projects are almost complete. In another month I may go J.D. Salinger-style and never leave my home again.

14. My Baby Sister’s Wedding: My youngest sister Donielle got married in December, which was amazing on many levels. It brought my whole family together for the first time in several years. We were all back home in New England for the first time since 1996. The wedding was fun and full of family and friends. Plus, the day before the wedding I had a very special lunch at Simon Pearce in Quechee, Vermont with my parents and my 3 sisters, just like when we were growing up, except nobody spewed milk out of the nose. It was wonderful and hilarious. Thanks to this wedding, my family now feels complete. Or at least until the next generation starts doubling up and multiplying.

15. UW Track & Field Reunion:  I got to see a lot of my college track teammates in October in Madison, Wisconsin. Many of them I hadn’t seen in 5, 10, or 20 years. Seeing your people in real life is always better than just connecting on Zoom, text, and social media. (Unless your people don’t shower or use deodorant.)

16. Life and Death: I had several close family friends pass away in 2023. While they were each very sad, they also made me value my life, health, and family even more.

Key Takeaway

You make great years through your actions, your good decisions and your relationships. You make great years through your hard work and your reputation. To make 2024 your best year yet, create great habits. Make time for friends and family. Plan adventures large and small. Read great books. And remember that life is short. So do the important things now.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Great advice on how to best position yourself.

I spent a lot of time this fall with Oscar-nominated cinematographer Jeff Cronenweth. Jeff was the cinematographer for a couple of little movies you may have heard of, including Fight Club, and A Social Network. He also filmed the Shake It Off video for Travis Kelces’ girlfriend, Taylor, which has been viewed a Dr. Evil-sized 3.3 billion times!

Our team at The Weaponry worked with Jeff and his director brother Tim on a great new TV commercial for a great client that I can’t talk about yet. Kinda like the way you can’t talk about Fight Club. Except in this case nobody gets punched in the tooth.

The Photos

Throughout the month-long multi-timezone shoot, the agency, client and the Cronenweths would take a picture after we wrapped at each location. As we gathered for our team photo following an early morning sunrise shooot, Jeff gave our group a piece of advice. He told us to position ourselves so that we could feel the warmth of the sun on our faces. This would ensure that our face was lit for the picture. It was great advice that allowed us all to direct ourselves, kinda like Kevin Costner, Tyler Perry, or Pam & Tommy.

Positioning ourselves so that we can feel the warmth of the sun on our faces. Jeff and Tim are in the front. John Hancock is in the back.

But I couldn’t help but think that Jeff’s great advice transcends photography and film. In fact, I think it is one of the best pieces of advice and direction we can give another person.

The Sunshine Advice

Always position yourself so that you feel the warmth of the sunshine on your face. Don’t be content to stand in the shadows. As you navigate your personal journey always position yourself amongst people who shine on you. Surround yourself with others who provide the warm glow of kindness, support, respect and encouragement. Find a career where you can feel the glow of the work you do on your face. Spend time in places where you can feel the warmth of the people and the culture. That warmth you feel is the sign that you are exactly where you should be.

Key Takeaway

When you are in the right place with the right people doing the right things you can feel it like warm sunshine on your face. Seek out that feeling. Enjoy it when you find it. And don’t settle for less.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.