Tag: self imporvement

Why You Should Always Be Taking Tests.

When was the last time you took a test?

Yesterday?

Last year?

During your last eye appointment? (U R B A F)

Once you get to a certain point in life, you can stop taking tests.

But don’t.

Even if it’s the spring of your senior year of high school, and you have already gotten into your first-choice college. (Sorry, that was meant for my son.)

One of the great ways to live a full, adventurous and successful life is to regularly test yourself.

Test your mind, your body, your resolve, your endurance, your focus and your dedication.

Test your willpower. And test your won’tpower. (I think I just made up a word with a contraction in it!)

It’s not hard to avoid testing yourself. You can stay within your natural bounds. You can refuse to push against your outer limits. You can easily live a life of comfort, without stress, tests, or growth. And it would be boring and sad.

When you stop testing yourself, you replace growth with shrinkage. And nobody wants shrinkage.

While you are still able, test yourself often.

Take on hard challenges.

Take on physical challenges.

Get certified in a new skill.

Or licensed in a new practice.

Sign up for a competition in anything.

Try the ski run that is a degree above your comfort level.

Or a cold plunge that is a degree below your comfort level.

Start a business.

Try to sell things.

Join Fight Club. (But don’t talk about it!)

Write a book. Or screenplay. Or a non-screen play.

Learn a new language with tests involved to prove what you are learning. (Capiche?)

By testing yourself, you are forcing learning, skill development, and growth.

You are pushing yourself to become a better, stronger, smarter version of yourself.

You are elevating your game. Like Milton Bradley, on an elevator.

And you are expanding and improving as an organism.

Testing…Testing…

Aside from parenting, nothing has forced my growth like starting a business. (The Weaponry.) The way that entrepreneurship tests you, you quickly realize that you are the greatest limiter of your company’s success. And if you want to grow the business, you have to grow and learn new and better skills too.

I also commit to an annual Misogi Challenge. These are difficult personal challenges with a high likelihood of failure. You create them to test your limits and push yourself and to spur confidence-boosting growth.

In 2020, I challenged myself to write a book during the COVID lockdown. And I did it. Which taught me how much I could accomplish when focused on a meaningful personal challenge.

The key to my happiness, life satisfaction, and self-esteem is directly related to the fact that I keep taking tests. I keep pushing myself. And I am learning, growing and expanding my skills, abilities and knowledge. And in the process, I am strengthening my character, values, resolve, grit and confidence.

Key Takeaway

If you want to maximize your own happiness, keep pushing yourself, testing yourself and forcing your own growth. It’s the best way to the best you. And the best way to experience your best life.

Unlock the personal and professional benefits of RFF.

You probably know all about RBF.

So you know it’s not the cash register code for a sandwich at Arby’s.

Or a pennant and banner industry term for rainbow flag.

RBF refers to Resting Bitch Face.

It is a default facial expression that makes a person appear unfriendly.

It makes people think you are irritated, annoyed or angry. Even when resting.

And it appears in both women and men. (See Kanye.)

RBF makes people think you are unapproachable

It may be unfair. It may be the furthest thing from the truth.

But if you have RBF, it makes a negative first impression. And it builds a personal brand that works against you.

It sends a message to the people around you that you don’t want to talk.

And Jack White can tell that we aren’t gonna be friends.

Unfortunately, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. (Head and Shoulder’s taught me that.)

But there is another default facial expression that gets far less attention.

And it is far more valuable.

RFF

People with RFF have a friendly default countenance.

It may be a smile.

Or a warmth.

Or kindness.

They look like they would be happy to talk to you.

People with RFF look like they want to be your friend.

Resting Friend Face.

I am talking to this guy in a room full of strangers.

When I was a kid, I lived in 5 different states by the time I started 7th grade. So I learned how to make friends in a room full of strangers. And it always starts by looking for the person with the resting friend face.

Remember when you used to play Red Rover when you were a kid? You would look for the weakest link in the lineup.

Making friends works kinda like that. Only it feels less Lord of The Flies-y

I would ask her for directions.

When you walk into a room full of strangers, you look for someone with RFF as the best person to approach.

They are the person least likely to give you the cold shoulder. And most likely to be interested in having a conversation.

At networking events, people with RFF are approached first.

At a dance, someone with RFF gets invited onto the dance floor first.

At a bar, the person with RFF gets approached. (So be careful if you don’t want to be approached in a bar.)

In business, when the person with RFF walks into a pitch or a sales call, they are immediately likable.

Humans are programed to discern friend from foe.

We do this unconsciously.

Automatically.

It’s coded into our historic software.

That’s why RFF offers an unfair advantage in relationship development.

This guy gets it.

So train yourself to develop your Resting Friend Face.

Smile.

Or Smize.

Train yourself to default to a friendly pose.

Put a pleasant look on your face. It doesn’t have to be toothy.

Uncross your arms.

Put your phone away.

And look like a friend other people would like to have.

Practice in front of a mirror.

Film yourself to find what looks friendly on camera.

See what others see.

That’s a pro RFF!

By developing a RFF you will increase the potential for developing more friendships.

You will develop a better social and professional network.

People will choose to talk to you in a room full of other options. Which will make you feel like Sally Field at the `1985 Academy Awards.

You will be the person others will approach at a trade show, job fair, conference or seminar.

It’s how you get people to approach your booth, table or tent.

You will be the person others will choose to sit next to at a dinner party full of strangers.

And ultimately, you will benefit from attracting more good people into your life.

Key Takeaway

Develop your Resting Friend Face. Practice looking friendly and approachable as a default. You will stand out in a crowd. It will help you grow your brand, your network and the number of great opportunities that come your way.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.