Tag: self confidence

Are you your own bestie or worstie?

I have been listening to a lot of Parker McCollum lately.

The country singer just released his 5th studio album, titled “Parker McCollum.” I am not sure how you decide to name your 5th album after yourself. Unless you are The Jackson 5.

One of the songs on the album is titled, “My Own Worst Enemy.”

The song is interesting. And entertaining.

But I can’t relate to it.

I realized while listening to the lyrics of the song that I am definitely NOT my own worst enemy. I have other people for that.

I am not self destructive.

I don’t talk smack to myself.

I don’t beat myself up.

I don’t have a cluster of bad habits or vices that I can’t unscrew.

Unfortunately, my relationship with myself will not inspire a classic country song. Or anything blues related.

But acknowledging that I am not my own worst enemy led to an interesting new question in my squishy gray matter.

Who am I to me?

Since the worst enemy title doesn’t fit me, I started wondering if the opposite was true.

So I asked myself:

Am I my own best friend?

I found that I could make a strong case for the affirmative.

The conversations I have with myself are supportive.

I give myself pep talks.

I encourage myself.

I remind myself of the reasons to believe in myself.

I keep a list of examples of success close at hand for regular reference.

I keep a list of examples of success in my Rolodex to call on when needed.

I start each day with an encouraging talk. Sometimes in my head. Sometimes aloud. Sometimes I can’t tell the difference.

I turn to myself in challenging situations.

I don’t suffer from imposter syndrome.

Instead, I always ask, “Why not me?”

And as much as I enjoy spending time with others, I am quite happy in my own company.

When people don’t like me, I typically consider it to be their issue, not mine.

I laugh to myself and at myself a lot. Which also feels a little loony.

I reminisce a lot with myself.

I reflect a lot on myself.

In fact, this writing is a reflection on my reflection. Which is totally metta.

When I was considering starting the advertising and ideas agency The Weaponry, I really believed I could do it. And I sent myself out to talk to people I thought would corroborate that belief.

I trust myself.

And while I know I am not perfect, I forgive myself for my shortcomings. I work on getting better every day and focus on the potential and the progress. Which is a friendly thing to do for yourself.

Key Takeaway

For better or worse, I act like my own best friend. (Which may also be a sign that no one else wanted the job.) I encourage you to strive to be your own best friend. Encourage yourself. Forgive yourself. Believe in yourself. Trust yourself. Be kind to yourself. The rest of the world will throw enough challenges your way. Don’t make your relationship with yourself another obstacle to success. Treat yourself as if you were your own BFF. It will make you happier, more confident and more resilient. And you will find there is no limit to what you can accomplish together.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

How experience and information made my 3rd trip to Europe feel so different.

My family and I just returned from a 2-week trip to Europe. We saw London. And we saw France. But according to my travel journal, we did not see your underpants. After Paris, we visited Bern, Switzerland and Munich. We also road 6 trains on our travels across the continent, which we felt well prepared for thanks to Thomas The Tank Engine.

A Very Different Experience.

Despite the fact that I had been to all of the places I visited in Europe before, this time felt very different. Mostly because I am different.

The first 2 times I visited Europe, when I was 15 and 38, I felt like I was trying to understand the local rules and customs. It was exciting and fascinating. But I remember feeling tentative and bumbling much of the time. Particularly in countries where English is not the native language. (You know, like not England.)

This time I felt very different.

Older, wiser, and perhaps more worldly, on this trip I felt confident that I was doing the right things, or at least the right things as far as I knew. What’s more, I recognized the things I didn’t know, and I wasn’t embarrassed or self-conscious about them.

Access To My Information Station

Another reason that this visit to Europe felt very different was that it was the first time I visited Europe with full access to my mobile phone. It was a great reminder that instant access to information has a profound impact on your experience, your ability to navigate new or foreign places, and your situational confidence.

Access to Google Maps ensured that we were never lost or directionless. We could check hours of operation, and reviews at any time. We could easily translate words we didn’t know. (Which is especially useful when ordering food so you can distinguish between raw beef and biscuits.) And we could quickly calculate currency conversions.

Lasting Impact

A trip like this always has a significant impact on your life. Which is why we undertake such adventures. The significant time and money invested in such a trip provide some of the greatest returns you will ever enjoy.

I returned with more amazing experiences, lessons, and insights than I can wrap my head around. (Although truth be told, I’m not very good at wrapping my head.) I am certain that the various non-physical souvenirs of my trip will provide inspiration for the rest of my life. Which means that I will also be writing about them for some time. Because the experiences of your life inspire your creative thinking.

Key Takeaway

Travel provides incredibly valuable experiences. Those experiences enhance both your knowledge and your thinking. You discover new places, new geography, new customs and new foods. You learn about different languages, different histories and different perspectives. But most importantly, travel teaches you new lessons about yourself. It teaches you what you like and what you don’t like. It reminds you of how much there still is to know. It helps you understand what makes your mind sparkle. And after seeing new places on the planet it is impossible to ever see the world the same way again.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

We all make mistakes. Here’s how to make the most of them.

I recently had a talk with someone who had made a mistake. They didn’t break any rules or laws. The mistake was more of a personal accountability issue. It was like a failure on a mental fortitude challenge. The kind of mistake that won’t get you in trouble with the law, but it could get you voted off an island.

After discussing the mistake I shared 2 simple lessons with this person. Because there are lessons in everything. Kind of like high fructose corn syrup.

The 2 lessons:

  1. Know how The Ideal You would handle this type of situation. The Ideal You provides a north star for navigating all decisions.
  2. Allow this experience to help your self-confidence, not hurt it. This is the key difference between a learning and a losing situation.

When you identify a mistake and can quickly learn and adjust from it, the mistake is a win. A positive. A way to quickly get better. You fail fast, learn, and improve. It’s a basic success formula for startups and sitcoms with teenage casts.

When you make a mistake don’t continue to beat yourself up over it. Because then you deal with both the mistake and the loss of self-confidence. Which is a lose-lose proposition.

Mistake identification and correction should always lead to both growth and an increase in confidence. After all, you have just learned how to avoid the same mistake in the future. You are better equipped. You have more experience. And more knowledge. All of which should make you feel more confident. Like Demi Lovato. Or like you used Sure deodorant.

Pay careful attention to your mental trajectory when you leave a mistake. If you are still pointing down, you are mistaking wrong. You have already made your error. You have learned your lesson. You already know what to do better next time. So point your attitude arrow up and to the right. It is time for growth and improvement. Time to rise and shine.

Key Takeaway

When you make a mistake learn from it. Let the learning add to your confidence. Emerge from a mistake better and more prepared for whatever comes your way next. Give yourself permission to be an amateur at everything. Then just keep getting better with every mistake you make.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.