Tag: Life

You are going to make mistakes. And when you do, make sure to forgive yourself.

To be successful at anything you have to try. Trying is the requirement that proceeds all progress and growth. But when you try, things don’t always work out the way you planned. Sometimes you fail. Sometimes you make mistakes. And sometimes you have an epic wardrobe malfunction.

Failure and mistakes come in all shapes and denominations. I have made a frajillion mistakes as an entrepreneur, writer, speaker, coach, parent, husband, son, brother, friend, neighbor and driver. Heck, I once dropped my 6-month-old over a railing at a Zoo. I have made so many mistakes you could fill a museum with them. But if you do, make sure to put it on a large piece of land. Because like Boeing, you will need to keep adding wings for all the mistakes I still have in store.

While I certainly make mistakes and get things wrong on my self-improvement journey, I also do something right. I recognize that making mistakes is part of the process. So I don’t beat myself up over them.* In fact, I am quick to forgive myself for my mistakes and move on. (*When Dr. Dre wears Beats by Dre headphones, does he feel like he is beating himself up?)

Because I am quick to forgive my mistakes, they don’t eat away at my confidence. I expect mistakes and recognize that I am nowhere near perfect. So the blemishes and shortcomings and missteps don’t damage my self-construct. Conversely, I expect to learn from my mistakes. And I expect to steadily improve as a result. Because that’s what I was born to do. #warmitupchris

Easter had me thinking a lot about forgiveness. In fact, once you get past the bonnets, bunnies and brunch, you remember that Easter is all about the forgiveness of sins. And sin is just a short biblical word for mistake. In the Christian faith, Jesus was the ultimate forgiver. (That guy was dying to forgive people.) That was really his main thing. Plus, he invented a very popular necklace. You’ve probably seen it.

Holding on to your mistakes and focusing on them is the biggest mistake you can make. The best thing to do is acknowledge your mistakes, study their causes, learn from them, and put systems and processes in place to prevent them from happening again. Then move on. Recognize the value in your mistakes. Profit from them. Even thank them for the lesson. And then leave them behind. You are not your mistakes. They are simply a byproduct of having a human experience.

Key Takeaway

Mistakes are an unavoidable result of trying. It’s hard to get things right all the time. Especially when you are interacting with other complicated humans. But the big mistake is dwelling on your mistakes too long. Learn the lesson. Let them help you grow and improve. Then forgive yourself. It will lighten your load and prevent you from becoming a problem to yourself. Remember, you have to be your own greatest advocate. That includes giving yourself permission to get things wrong, forgiving your mistakes, and always believing that tomorrow you will be better than you are today.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

This week I was reminded of a valuable life lesson thanks to a Starbucks mishap.

On Thursday morning I met my great friend Roland ‘Rocky’ Larochelle for breakfast. We hadn’t seen each other for more than a year. When I arrived at the Starbucks he met me by the front door and we heartily greeted each other. It was a great start to the morning. Like Tony The Tiger Great.

Roland had already ordered, so I walked to the counter and ordered a breakfast sandwich and grabbed a chocolate milk from the cooler. Because chocolate milk is my jam. Then I made my way to the small round table where Roland was sitting with his vente coffee. As I sat down, excited to catch up on the past year with an old friend, Roland moved his coffee to the side of the table to make room for me. This is typically an uneventful act. But that morning, the act was most definitely eventful.

In the process of moving his tall and freshly full coffee, the cup tripped and tipped. In an instant, the entire drink splashed onto the table and then poured onto the floor.

The aftermath. It looks like the coffee spilled in the shape of Pangea.

That’s Just Life

These types of mishaps happen all the time. Things are constantly going wrong in both our professional and personal lives. How you respond to such events determines the tone of your life.

You can allow such incidents to make you angry, bitter, deflated or depressed. Or, you can recognize that these setbacks are an expected and unavoidable element of life. You take the hit and roll with it. Like Tina Turner. (That was supposed to be a reference to Proud Mary, not Ike.)

The filter you use to interpret your setbacks determines whether you are floored by them or strengthened.

The Response

For a brief moment after the spill, there was no response. It was like that moment after you see a flash of lightning before you hear the inevitable thunder. You know it’s coming. But you don’t know how soon it will hit. And you don’t know if it will rumble or crack.

Then it hit.

Roland and I both erupted in laughter. It was the best possible response. We recognized that our 20-year friendship had just added another funny story. A new layer. An event to talk about.

Roland is clearly a great guy to spill coffee with.

There is no use crying over spilled coffee. Even $7 coffee. So we moved our things to the next table and began the clean-up. We grabbed napkins and notified the barista-janitor behind the counter of the caffeinetastrophe that had just occurred at table #9.

Within 2 minutes there were no signs of the spill on the table or the floor. Just as the final drops were being mopped another Barista in her superhero apron appeared at our table and presented Roland with a replacement coffee that she had made without us even asking. Thanks, SuperBarsista! You saved the day!

Key Takeaway

Setbacks happen. Everywhere, all the time. It’s not your bad luck. It is life. And physics. Those things are constantly spilling your drinks, breaking your things, blocking your progress, and stealing your time. Just roll with it. These are the basic challenges in the game of life. Keep playing. It makes the whole adventure of life more interesting. It makes you stronger and more capable for the next challenge. And all those setbacks transform into stories. And sooner or later you realize that a good life is just a collection of good stories.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

My important life lesson from a panicky train experience in Europe.

Last summer my family and I spent two weeks in Europe. We flew into London, then visited Paris, Bern, Switzerland and Munich via train. Exploring Europe by train is a fun experience. And not just if you see London and you see France.

However, making short connections in a foreign country where you don’t speak the language can raise your stress level like that recurring dream about missing your college final exams, while naked, and public speaking.

I’m not Zurich about this.

The most challenging part of our train travel was the leg from Bern to Munich. The issue was that we had to switch trains in Zurich and we only had 10 minutes to do it. We had never been to the station. And we had no idea where our connecting train platform was. I felt like Harry Potter the first time he had to find Platform 9 and 3/4.

To make matters worse, the train we were on was delayed. Which meant that our short 10-minute layover was cut in half. Gulp. We would only have 5 minutes to sprint to our next train in Zurich. But with 5 people hauling 10 overstuffed roller bags and duffles, sprinting does not look like sprinting. It’s more like waddling.

To further elevate our challenge, we were on the upper level of the inbound train and had to haul our massive bags down the train’s tight staircase just to begin the hunt for our next train. Plus, the train was completely packed. And while we were feeling urgent like Lou Gramm of Foreigner, we had to contend with other passengers who exhibited none of our need for speed.

Finally, as our train rolled to a stop at the Zurich train station we each grabbed our 2 bags, plus our backpacks, and clumsily navigated the stairs, trying not to fall or drop our bags on the other passengers. Then we wiggled our way off the train and onto the bustling platform. We hustled towards a monitor where we discovered that our train for Munich was on the other side of the platform we were standing on! It was the best possible scenario!

But now, we had only 3 minutes, and there was a large crowd of people trying to cram onto the train. Because everyone loves Munich. Kinda like Raymond. And bacon.

We got in line and waited for our time to board as the time ticked away. Slowly, we inched our way to the steps, and one by one, all 5 of us and our 10 bags boarded the crowded train car.

However, our progress promptly stopped. We found ourselves just inside the train door with nowhere to move. We had no idea if we were on the right car. We had no idea if we had assigned seats. And we had no idea where to store our 10 big bags because there didn’t appear to be any available space on this overstuffed train.

Then something wonderful happened. The train started to move. We were pulling out of the station. And a big smile spread across my face.

Yes, we were still lost, and confused. We were in a foreign country where we didn’t speak the language or understand the systems and processes. We didn’t know where to sit, where to put our bags, or how to get out of the way of the other passengers.

But we were on the train. And despite the confusion and chaos we were experiencing, we were headed to Munich.

My crew, happy to be rolling with the punches.

Key Takeaway

In life getting on the train is the main thing. You can figure out the rest from there. Just get yourself to the starting point. Get to the gym. Start the business. Open the blank document. Pick up the power tool. Land the job. Sit down with the instrument. Show up to the support group meeting. That is the first step. You’ll figure the rest out as you go.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why January is a great time to feel uncomfortable.

Happy New Year! That is what we say to people in January. But Januarys aren’t supposed to be happy. Not even if you are a Gilmore. Or Pharell Williams.

In November you should feel thankful. In December you should feel Joy. (Comfort & Joy…) But in January, if you are doing things right, you should feel uncomfortable.

January is meant to be a time for change. It is a time for new goals, resolutions, and habit alteration. (Even if you are not a fashionable nun.)

If you are introducing new habits, new thinking and new actions don’t expect to feel happy right now. Expect to feel uncomfortable. And the more comfortable you are with feeling uncomfortable now, the happier you will be later.

Feeling uncomfortable now is a sign that you are trying something new. You are changing your routine. You are creating a new habit. You are experimenting.

You feel uncomfortable when you take new risks. It is a sign of growth. And learning. This is how you push your own envelope. This is how you discover better approaches.

This is January stuff. This is New Year stuff. This is how you get to the new You.

Key Takeaway

A great year of growth and improvement begins with changes in January. Feeling uncomfortable right now is a great sign. Getting uncomfortable now is how you break through to a new level of comfort later. Keep going. It gets better. And so will you.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Here’s the best way to start a great new year in 2024.

Tonight is the big night! It’s New Year’s Eve! Like the Lexus December to Remember, it’s time to put a big red bow on 2023. Or, if your 2023 was a lemon, it’s time to put on some Del Amitri and kiss this thing goodbye. Either way, this is the biggest party night of the year. Because we always save the best for last. Or do we always start off with a bang? (I always forget.)

New Year. New You.

With the new year comes new expectations. We set goals and resolutions for the next 366 days. It’s exciting to think that, like a new iPhone or Fast & Furious release, the new and improved version of ourselves will hit the shelves tomorrow!

Most of us think our lives, habits and body fat will all get better, starting tomorrow morning. But there is one simple thing you can do tonight, on New Year’s Eve, to give yourself the best possible start to a great 2024.

Don’t stay up until midnight.

Go to bed at a reasonable hour tonight. Going to sleep early on New Year’s Eve is a wonderfully rebellious move that sets you up for success in the new year. I have gone to bed before midnight on New Year’s Eve for the past several years. And I love it.

No Bonus Points

You don’t get any credit, in either the old year or the new, for staying up to witness the clock tick to midnight. There will be very little productive work that happens between 10pm and midnight. If you haven’t made your goals in the first 364 days and 22 hours, you’re not likely to achieve them in the last 120 minutes.

The simple fact is that you don’t get a jumpstart on your goals, hopes, dreams or resolutions by staying up past midnight tonight. You get tired. And maybe you’ll start the new year with a hangover. Neither of which you really want.

The Downside To Staying Up Late

If you stay up until midnight tonight, one of 2 things will happen:

  1. You won’t get an early start tomorrow morning. Getting an early start to your day is the best way to be productive. So if you are motivated to achieve more in the year ahead, get up early and get going.
  2. You won’t get a good night’s sleep. Let’s say that you stayed up late, but also get up early tomorrow. That means that you are not fully recharged, fully energized, and ready to make January 1st an outstanding start to the new year. If you are serious about making positive changes, you should seriously get serious about creating good sleep habits, starting tonight.

Let’s get it started

Aim for getting a good 7 or 8 hours of sleep tonight. As we all know, the end is determined by how we begin. One great step leads to another. And one great day leads to another. Remember, the longer you wait to get into a new, positive habit, the less likely it is to happen.

Key Takeaway

Consider being a rebel tonight and turning in early. Get a great night’s sleep. Start 2024 early, well-rested, recharged and re-energized. It’s the best way to start your best year yet. Have a fun and safe New Year’s Eve!

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Great advice on how to best position yourself.

I spent a lot of time this fall with Oscar-nominated cinematographer Jeff Cronenweth. Jeff was the cinematographer for a couple of little movies you may have heard of, including Fight Club, and A Social Network. He also filmed the Shake It Off video for Travis Kelces’ girlfriend, Taylor, which has been viewed a Dr. Evil-sized 3.3 billion times!

Our team at The Weaponry worked with Jeff and his director brother Tim on a great new TV commercial for a great client that I can’t talk about yet. Kinda like the way you can’t talk about Fight Club. Except in this case nobody gets punched in the tooth.

The Photos

Throughout the month-long multi-timezone shoot, the agency, client and the Cronenweths would take a picture after we wrapped at each location. As we gathered for our team photo following an early morning sunrise shooot, Jeff gave our group a piece of advice. He told us to position ourselves so that we could feel the warmth of the sun on our faces. This would ensure that our face was lit for the picture. It was great advice that allowed us all to direct ourselves, kinda like Kevin Costner, Tyler Perry, or Pam & Tommy.

Positioning ourselves so that we can feel the warmth of the sun on our faces. Jeff and Tim are in the front. John Hancock is in the back.

But I couldn’t help but think that Jeff’s great advice transcends photography and film. In fact, I think it is one of the best pieces of advice and direction we can give another person.

The Sunshine Advice

Always position yourself so that you feel the warmth of the sunshine on your face. Don’t be content to stand in the shadows. As you navigate your personal journey always position yourself amongst people who shine on you. Surround yourself with others who provide the warm glow of kindness, support, respect and encouragement. Find a career where you can feel the glow of the work you do on your face. Spend time in places where you can feel the warmth of the people and the culture. That warmth you feel is the sign that you are exactly where you should be.

Key Takeaway

When you are in the right place with the right people doing the right things you can feel it like warm sunshine on your face. Seek out that feeling. Enjoy it when you find it. And don’t settle for less.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How even a short life can have a long impact.

Over the past year, I have known a surprising number of people who have passed away far too young. Some of them were truly young, in their teens and twenties. Others were older, but healthy, vibrant, and active. There were no warnings that their earthly adventures were about to end. No time for goodbyes, thank yous, I love yous, or a hastily drawn treasure map of the coffee cans of money buried in the backyard.

It’s a reminder to live each day fully, and richly. To make a positive impact on others every day. It’s a reminder to tell your friends and loved ones how much they mean to you. You need to chase your dreams now. Find a job you love now. Use your vacation days and your frequent flyer miles. (Or your frequent train rider miles if you don’t fly.)

But just because a life is short doesn’t mean it doesn’t have a long-term impact. Believe me, I know. Check out the following newspaper article that I have kept for decades:

We have received sad news from Lafayette, where farmer Fred Albrecht got hit and killed by lightning during the strong storm on Tuesday evening. This happened while he was standing in the kitchen surrounded by his children; one child, 1-1/2 years old, he was even holding by the hand. The lightning bolt immediately killed the man. Fred Albrecht was almost 30 years old and leaves behind a wife and three children, which are young.

-Post Cresent

Fred Albrecht, the man in the article above, died when he was in his twenties. He was healthy and full of life and hope. But he was killed, in his home, by a lightning strike. He wasn’t even flying a kite. It was just a freak accident. He never saw it coming.

Yet Fred had an immense impact in his short life. You see, the article above is from 1875. And Fred was my Great, Great Grandfather. One of those 3 very young children he left behind was my Dad’s grandfather, Herman Albrecht. And Fred is the reason my kids know the saying, “Albrechts and lightning don’t mix.’

The man seated behind that Tom Sellek mustache is my great grandfather, Hermann Albrecht, Fred’s son.

Fred Albrecht immigrated from Germany to the United States in his twenties and had his children here. If it wasn’t for Fred’s adventurous spirit to cross the Atlantic to a new world for a better life, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t be anywhere. And you wouldn’t be reading this story right now. Which means that you were impacted by Fred Albrecht too.

Making An Impact

But you don’t have to have children to have a long-lasting impact. You also have a long-lasting positive impact by the great example you set, and the encouraging words you offer. There are long-lasting impacts of kindness, friendship, and love. You have a long-lasting impact when you teach someone a skill or lesson. You have an impact when work hard and when you model a positive behavior or attitude for others to emulate. And you have a long-lasting impact when enjoy your life. And when you make people laugh. Especially if they spray milk out of their nose. That’s a gift.

Key Takeaway:

Even the longest lives are short. But the impact we have while we are here can last a very long time. So be kind. Be helpful and supportive. Be interesting. Make people think. Set a great example to follow. Work hard. Make people laugh. Have fun with others. Be a friend. Make others feel loved and safe. Pay it forward. Leave a positive mark. It can change the world forever.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why it’s so valuable to think about who will show up for your funeral.

I am a big believer in beliefs. I like a good framework to guide my actions and behaviors. And as I wrap up the last few weeks of my 40s, I have been planning for a great new decade ahead. Heck, AARP has already invited me to the party.

I am wiser than I have ever been. The important things in life keep getting clearer. That’s why I approach my next decade with a new funeral mindset.

In this mindset, I regularly imagine the sanctuary where my bon voyage service will be held. No sound. So commentary. Just the attendance.

I am focused on who and how many people will show up. And who will shake the pews for me. (I come from a family of pew shakers who laugh silently at everything we find funny in church.)

I have always been concerned that I wouldn’t have many people show up for my last shindig. It’s a healthy concern about what happens if you do the wrong things in life. When I was in college Jeffrey Dahmer’s funeral was at my church in Madison, Wisconsin. I planned to go because I thought that would have been an interesting life experience. And it would have been. But I had a class at that time and decided not to skip it. I read in the paper that only 26 people attended the service. I expect most of them were there to confirm he was really dead. And to finish the job if he wasn’t.

Dahmer did bad things that left him with a lonely funeral.

I want to live each day in the opposite way. Which means collecting as many friends as possible. Maintaining and strengthening my relationships with my friends, and family. Conducting business in a fair and honorable way. And having a strong positive impact on my communities. I want to have a positive impact on people in both my innermost circle and my outermost rings of influence. And I want to remember not to eat anyone.

I want to be known as a listener. And as someone who shows up to help. I want to be known as a friend. I want to be enjoyable to be around. I want to share my time and knowledge with other people to have a positive impact on their lives. If I do all those things, at the end of it all, I hope people will dress up and come shake a pew with me for an hour. But just to be safe, I’m going to insist on serving delicious ham sandwiches afterward. And maybe free beer.

Key Takeaway

Always keep your funeral attendance in mind. Live in a way that will pack that house with those you have positively impacted. Put effort and care into your relationships. Build bridges. Mend fences. Share your gifts and lessons. Create great memories. And set a strong example for others to follow. Be a positive force in your communities. And the community will show up to confirm your contribution.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Do you know the most valuable asset you will ever accumulate?

I just got back from a spring break vacation with my family. We were in Florida for a week. The weather was in the 70s. The Gulf of Mexico was blue and beautiful. Which is why my sons tried to sneak half of the gulf home with us in a saturated Nerf football.

Vacations serve as a great reminder that there are 2 ways to create tremendous wealth. At least there are 2 ways that won’t land you in an orange jumpsuit with a lifetime supply of gruel.

The first way we create wealth is through our careers. The money we earn, save and invest through our hard work creates both wealth and financial freedom. Which is good. Keep doing this.

The second way that we create wealth is through the accumulation of good memories. These memories are the result of our life experiences and enjoyable interactions with others.

While having money is good, it is mostly good because you can invest it in creating more memories. And memories compound in value every time you revisit them. You profit from them each time you reminisce, like Mary J. Blige. You profit from them each time you look at your photographs, like Nickleback, Ed Sheeran, or Def Leppard. And you profit each time you talk about your fun, funny or heartwarming stories with your friends and family. Do this as often as you can.

Key Takeaway

Your memories are the most valuable possessions you will ever own. Invest in creating more of them. Collect as many as you can. Spend time thinking and talking about your memories and you will become wealthier and wealthier in the most important way. The older you get the less you will be able to use the money you have saved. But your memories will rise in value all the way to the end. Because your collection of memories is your life. Never forget that.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The important event happening today that most people won’t see.

There is a cute story about 2 young fish who are just hanging out when an older fish swims past. The older fish says to the younger fish, ‘Hey boys! How’s the water?’ The younger fish smile and wave. Then, after the older fish passes, the younger fish turn to each other and ask, ‘What is water?’

It is a reminder that we often miss the things that surround us. In human life, it is not the water that we miss. And it’s not really the air either. Unless you are hiking at altitude. Or have emphysema.

The thing that humans don’t recognize is life itself.

I try to remind my family and friends of this regularly. When good, fun, beautiful and interesting things happen I take a moment to say, ‘This is your life.’

It is my way of saying, enjoy this. Recognize that this moment is life. Because your life is really just a collection of moments. Some are small. Some are large. But all are valuable.

Your life is not about what is coming. It is not about your hopes and dreams. It’s not about someday when you’ll be living in a big old city with Taylor Swift.

Your life is not the destination at the end of the journey. Because, spoiler alert, the end of the journey isn’t that great. Just ask Steve Perry.

If you don’t take a moment to recognize the moments of your life, as your life, the whole experience will pass you by without you even recognizing it.

Don’t let that happen to you.

Key Takeaway

Your life is happening right now. Don’t miss it. Awareness enables you to enjoy and appreciate the great things, large and small that make up your experience. Don’t waste this gift. Don’t settle. Do the things you have always wanted to do now. There is no other time.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.