Tag: regret

Create Your Big Life List Today.

You have a lot of amazing things you could do in life.

Adventurous travel.

Creating your own business.

Writing that award-winning thing that only you could write.

Doing things so interesting that you find yourself rubbing elbows with people who have really nice elbows.

But are you doing any of these amazing things?

Are you ticking things off Your Big Life List of amazing things that add to your life resume and make your enemies mad that they envy your experiences, accomplishments and elbows?

If so, you probably feel happy, fulfilled and purposeful.

If not, it’s time to jump on it, Kemosabe.

You are not getting any younger. (And after seeing how The Substance ends, you won’t want to try.)

Remember, you don’t know how much time you have.

Start Today

Consider the things you would regret not doing if tomorrow your ability to do was done.

Make a list. (Check it twice. Find out who is naughty and nice.)

Start with the biggest, most important activities.

Set self-imposed deadlines.

They are amazing tools to help you accomplish more.

Reflection

On a recent flight, my seatmate and I were talking about our lives and experiences. She commented on the number of impressive life-listy things I had accomplished. I told her that a Big Bertha-sized drive for me was that on the eve of my 40th birthday, I reflected and wrote a list of all the things I was proud to have accomplished. Then, I turned to consider all the things I had not yet done, seen or experienced.

That list of Things Undone has been a great driver for me ever since. Today, I am keenly aware of the many things I still want to do. So I keep a list. And I set deadlines. And I keep ticking them off.

You can too.

Key Takeaway

I encourage you to write your regret list this week. Find some time when you can reflect on what you would regret not having done, accomplished, tried, seen, tasted, explored, or created if you were to die this year. Then get going. It will lead to a more interesting and adventurous life. A life that you can be very proud of. And it will help you finish your time here with no regrets.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to use the power of regret to live your best life today.

Imagine for a moment you got the news that you have one day to live. Just one. And it’s not Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney. (Nice try though.) You have enough time to say goodbye to your closest friends and family. But not enough time to add to your life resume in any meaningful way. I know this is a bummer. It’s supposed to be.

Now, take a moment to reflect.

What do you regret not doing during your time on the planet?

  • Travel?
  • Starting a business?
  • Writing your book?
  • The relationship you left unrelated?
  • Being scared?
  • Not giving back?
  • Not being your true self?
  • Too little time with loved ones?
  • That person you murdered?
  • Not buying life insurance?

The good news is, as far as I know, you have more than one day left.

The even better news is that you now know what to do with your time left. Do those things you would regret not doing now. Or stop doing the things you would regret not stopping now. That way, when you get to the real end of your story you will have more ‘I dids!’ and fewer ‘I wish I hads.’

The Proof

I gave myself this Regret Test on the eve of my 40th birthday. The regrets that surfaced inspired me to start my own business (The Weaponry), write a book (What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say?), travel more internationally, coach my kids’ sports teams, take redeye flights home from work trips to maximize time with my family and donate blood. The Regret Test offered the most important question I have ever asked myself. I encourage you to do the same.

Key Takeaway

Regret is a powerful tool. It helps you recognize the relative value of alternative outcomes. Tap into the power of regret to inspire your next actions. And start doing the things you wish you had done now, before it is too late.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The most valuable lesson you can learn from your local news team.

I love the movie Anchorman. It’s a hilarious look at a local TV news team. It has everything you could possibly want in a movie, including Will Ferrell, a gang fight between rival news crews, and a totally random musical number. The movie is dense with classic quotes. And it taught me what San Diego means in German.

The movie also teaches you about the 5 roles that make up a local news team.

  1. The Anchor. The leader of the crew. He or she delivers the general news. They greet the viewer at the top of the show and get to deliver their catchphrase at the end. #StayClassySanDiego

2. The Co-Anchor They are like the Vice President. They help deliver the main news, offer a banter partner, and appeal to a slightly different audience. The anchor and co-anchor are often different genders, ages, races, hair colors, or mustache styles, depending on how evolved management is.

3. The Sports Person. They share updates on local, and national sports news. They typically seem the most athletic-y. They were often former athletes and really into sports. They may have considered becoming a PE teacher but realized they don’t want to wear sweatpants all day.

4. The Investigative Reporter This is the reporter who helps expose the wrongdoings in the community. In school, they were the tattletale and probably got picked on a lot. Their job is their revenge.

5. The Weatherperson. They report the weather. They are usually fun and outgoing. They typically seem like they would be the most fun to hang out with. The community usually loves them and they love them right back. I have some Weatherperson friends including Mark Baden at WISN12 in Milwauke. Pete Bouchard at NBC 10 in Boston and I played football together in high school. And the Meteorological Badass, Jim Cantore of The Weather Channel, grew up one town over from me in Vermont.

One of These Things is Not Like The Others

While these 5 work together as one crew, they offer 2 distinctly different types of information to viewers. The Anchor, Co-Anchor, Investigative Reporter and Sports Person report, recap and summarize significant events that have recently happened. Which is valuable.

However…

The Weatherperson’s great value is not in recapping what happened in the past 24 hours, but in shedding light on what will happen next. Sure, they will tell you what the temperature was that day, how much rain or snow fell, and maybe what time the sun came up and went down. But like Bob Dylan sang, you don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.

The Weatherperson is uniquely valuable in predicting future weather. And they have gotten really good at this. The science of meteorology and weather forecasting is astounding. They are able to predict what the future holds in terms of temperature, cloudage, windage and precipitation. They have the ability to forecast conditions by the hour, even many days in advance. That is freaking amazing!

The Weather Person’s knowledge and insights about future weather enable you to make important decisions and preparations. They provide information that helps you decide what to wear, and what actions to take when. The forecast helps you plan the activities for the day or week ahead. And they let you know when you should apply extra glue to your toupee.

Forecasting Your Life

Taking a cue from the Weatherperson, there is another highly valuable skill that you should develop that will have a major positive impact on your future. It doesn’t involve quitting your job and running off to join the weatherperson circus. I’m suggesting you hone and polish your skills as a Regret Forecaster.

Dedicate time each day, week, season, and year to forecast your future regrets. This will include things you did do that you wish you hadn’t done and things you didn’t do that you wish you had. By doing so you are able to predict future outcomes while there is still time to alter them. While hindsight is said to be 20/20, regret forecasting can help you dial in your foresight with great accuracy too. And it costs a lot less.

There Are 4 Major Things That People regret.

  1. Not doing the foundational work you should have when you should have done it. (Doing the work, saving money, getting the education, exercising etc.)
  2. Not taking the risk you should have taken. (Starting the business, writing the book, traveling to interesting places. Changing jobs.)
  3. Not developing, maintaining or reigniting relationships. (There is an unpredictable time limit on these activities. Because most of your friends and family are mortals.)
  4. Having done the wrong thing. (Think cheating, lying, murdering, unprotected sexing.)

The older I get and the honester I become with myself the better my regret radar becomes. Today I find myself regretting less and less. Not because I don’t care. But because I care more. Because I have taken more time to think about the future and the end of my days and the unfinished business, missed opportunities and untended relationships. I use the regret forecast to feel the sting today. Which inspires me to act now. And prevents me from murdering others.

Key Takeaway

Start calibrating your regret radar now. Write down the 4 areas of your life to examine. See what pings. Start addressing that today. Do the work now that will matter later. Take the chances you know you should. Avoid the wrong, because that is always right. And most importantly, develop and maintain as many relationships as you can. At the end of your days, that will matter most.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I’ve learned so far check out my new book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.