There’s a good chance that you are not the best at what you do. At least not the very best in the whole wide world. After all, there are 8 billion people squished on this planet. Which is why the line at the deli sometimes takes so long.
You will often find yourself surrounded by people who are better than you are at all kinds of things. Dancing, basketball, school, entrepreneurship, parenting, juggling, wearing clothes, or wearing no clothes.
When you find yourself surrounded by people who are better than you at something, use it as a source of inspiration, not intimidation.
Recognize how much more potential you have.
Study those who are better than you. They are an excellent resource. They are showing you what is possible. Borrow their approach. Steal their moves. Or be inspired by their originality.
You can be overt or covert in your approach. You can spy on them in secret. Or you can approach them and ask for their advice. Both work. I know. I’ve experimented. But if you get too close, the spying in secret is more likely to end with someone calling the cops. #thingsIlearnedthehardway
It is a gift to be exposed to those better than you. They force you to reevaluate and recalibrate. Allow yourself to be propelled by their positive peer pressure.
But to benefit from exposure to people who are better than you, you have to adopt a growth mindset. You have to believe that you are capable of more and better. When you do, the superior doesn’t make you feel inferior. It expands your mind and helps you see what you are capable of achieving.
Key Takeaway
Seek out other people who are better than you are. Surround yourself with them. They are a gift. They demonstrate what is possible. They provide a model for you to follow. It is your mindset that interprets the greatness in others as inspiration or intimidation. Always choose inspiration. It is the source from which all great improvement flows. Follow its path. And soon you will find others following you.
Writer’s Note:
At the Nike Outdoor National Track & Field Championships 2 weeks ago my daughter Ava threw against some of the best competition in the country. She had her second farthest throw ever in the discus. When I told her how proud I was of how she performed on the big stage she’s said. ‘When you find yourself surrounded by people who are better than you at something you have to use it as a source of inspiration, not intimidation.’ Which was the inspiration for this post.
+ In the cover photo for this post the man to the left of the podium is my legendary college track coach Ed Nuttycombe. It was a great full-circle moment for me to watch Nutty hand my daughter Ava her medal at the Myrhum Invite meet earlier this spring.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
We’re in the thick of graduation season. High school and college seniors are transitioning into a very different phase of their lives. If they were caterpillars, they would be busting out of their cocoons and butterflying away with a diploma in one hand and their parent’s health insurance card in the other.
This graduation season is the most meaningful to me since my own graduation from Hanover High School in Hanover, New Hampshire. Because my daughter Ava is graduating from high school this year. Well, she should be graduating. But I am a little worried that her high school will realize that when I called her out sick saying she had a combination of Scurvy and Malaria, she was really just skipping school to go to Six Flags.
Today, I am thinking about all the important life lessons I would like to share with Ava. Luckily I have been thinking about this for a few years. (Cue the flashback…)
In March of 2020, at the beginning of the COVID lockdown, I suddenly had a lot of time on my hands. Especially the typing part of my hands. So I began writing my book What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? It’s a collection of 80 of the best life lessons I have learned. I wanted my children to have access to this wisdom and inspiration when they left home. Or when I was no longer alive to share the lessons with them. Whichever came first.
Today, as I am thinking about graduation, I am thankful that I took the time to write this book and share these lessons. Because I did, Ava and other graduates will be able to benefit from my learnings and experiences. These lessons are some of the most valuable gifts I have to offer. And right now I am thinking about lesson 47 on page 152, which says:
Today’s Success Was Born Yesterday.
The relationships you developed yesterday strengthen your support system today, The progress you made yesterday becomes momentum today. The exercise you performed yesterday creates today’s strength, endurance and health. The time you invested yesterday becomes the time you saved today. The reading you did yesterday creates the knowledge you have today. The traveling you did yesterday becomes today’s memories and experiences. The preparation you did yesterday makes you ready for today.
The Special Offer
When I first published What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? the two most common comments I got from readers were:
I wish had read this when I was younger.
This book makes a great gift for graduates.
I always see a spike in book sales in May at graduation time. And tomorrow, Saturday, May 25th is my birthday. To celebrate, and to help get this book of life lessons into the hands of more people who could really benefit from it, I have reduced the price by 25% on Amazon through midnight on Saturday. Which makes this the best time to buy the book as a graduation gift, or to stock up on copies for other occasions.
I have loved track and field since I first joined my high school track team as a freshman. I loved it when I was no good. I loved it when I set a state record. And I loved the whole self-improvement journey in between. (Other than the times that I threw up. Which was a lot.)
While track and field is thought of as an individual sport, some of my favorite memories were winning conference team championships, both in the Connecticut Valley Conference as a Hanover High School Marauder and in the Big Ten Conference, as a University of Wisconsin Badger. There is something about being part of a great team win that makes you feel like part of a gang. A very fit gang with good nutritional habits.
Today, my day job is running the advertising and ideas agency The Weaponry.But in the spring, my later afternoon job is coaching athletes to throw the discus and put the shot on the girl’s track team at Homestead High School in Mequon, Wisconsin.
Conference Championships
On Tuesday afternoon we had our North Shore Conference Championship meet. Our conference is loaded with 10 great schools with top-tier talent and excellent coaches. (I note that because it is true and because some of them also read this blog.)
We knew the meet would be close, but just how close we never would have imagined.
The Homestead girl’s team is deep and talented. But so are our competitors. And despite our high hopes and the fact that we have won the team championship the past 2 years, we stumbled right out of the blocks. #UhOh
We had a talented runner, Sophia LaGalbo, hit a hurdle and take a nasty fall. We had an athlete we expected to score in several events, Korynne Moga, get hurt in her first event and have to drop out of the competition. We got disqualified in an early relay for passing the baton outside the zone. And we had other girls enter the competition ranked high in their event and wind up just outside of the top 8 places that score points. #gulp
As the defending conference champions this was all very disappointing. Especially as we watched other teams rack up great performances and the well-deserved points that go with them.
But despite the poor luck and poor performances, the Homestead Highlanders kept going. And we kept collecting points. Senior Savannah Fraley won the 800-meter dash like a rock star. And Eva Brandenburg dominated the 300-meter hurdle race. Plus Sophia LaGalbo, road rash and all, finished 7th in the 300 hurdles to add 2 more points.
Too Little. Too Late?
It was getting late in the meet and we were still well behind. But we had some late events with great potential to add points to the team total. In the 200-meter dash, Brandenburg took 3rd and Natalie Mueller took 8th to add 9 more points. Which was great. But that was followed by the 3200-meter run, where we had no entries, which was bad. Then came the discus results. One of the events I coach. And I was a very proud Coach-Dad when my athlete-daughter Ava took 1st place by 7 feet. And Senior Mariah Reynolds took 5th. This meant we added 14 points to the team total, which was great.
The Final 2
The meet came down to the final 2 events. The triple jump and the 4×400 meter relay.
We have a strong 4 x 400 relay. And we started strong with Grace Zortman finishing the first leg in first place. Then Shaylin Swenson ran an equally strong 2nd leg to lengthen our lead. Natalie Mueller added a great 3rd leg to maintain the lead. Which meant the race all came down to first-year track athlete Charlotte Lueck, a smiley and talented sophomore, and her 4th and final leg.
Charlotte, who is one of my favorite athletes on the team, came around the first 100 meters strong and steady. But a strong runner from Grafton High School charged hard and was right behind Charlotte by the time they reached the backstretch. But Charlotte kept her cool, and at 200 meters the challenger had dropped back several meters. The Homestead home crowd was going crazy. But on the final 100 meters, the race tightened up again, getting closer and closer as they approached the finish line.
But Charlotte held the lead and ran a very fast lap against very tough competition. Like all-you-can-eat-steak-buffet tough. With the victory, we added 10 more points to our total. Which meant that the conference championship all came down to the triple jump to determine if Homestead or Slinger High School would be conference champs.
One…Two…
Our team is great at the triple jump. Standout athlete Anisa Barnett won the event. And Sheba Bentum-Mensah grabbed 8th to help us rack up 11 more points. However, the Slinger Owls are also great at the triple jump. And they placed 2nd and 6th, to also scored 11 points. OMG!
The Final Tally
In sports, there are close competitions. And then there are really, really, really close competitions. In football, basketball and baseball you can win by as little as one point. And our track team would have been thrilled to have just one more point than our competitors. But we fell short.
However, in track and field, because of ties within the field events, (typically in the pole vault and the high jump, where competitors can finish at the same height) you can be awarded half points. And when the final total was tallied our team had won the North Shore Conference Championship by 1/2 of a point. A freaking half-point!
This meant that if any of our scorers had finished just one place lower we would not have won. It was the truest possible team victory. Every performance matters. There was no literally no breathing room. No room for error. But we won. And winning by 1/2 point is as good as winning by a mile. Maybe better.
There are 3 great things about team championships:
Your teammates are there to help you out when you stumble, fall or pull a hamstring.
Celebrating a victory together is far greater than celebrating alone.
The win creates a team bond that lasts forever. And at the end of the day, the relationships and team memories are what you will remember and value most.
Key Takeaways
Sometimes bad things happen. Keep going.
Get up when you fall.
Never give up.
Work hard.
Run your race.
Lean on your teammates. You’ll go farther together.
Finish Strong.
It’s not over until it’s over.
Sometimes 1/2 point is all it takes.
I am very proud to coach and win 3 conference team championships in a row with this crew of Laura Bosley, Jay Fuller, Me VonMe, John Krueger and Heather Krueger.
Congratulations to the following girls on their hard-fought team championship!
Ava Albrecht
Anisa Barnett
Scout Bonkoski
Eva Brandenburg
Savannah Fraley
Sierra Gill
Alexandra Gaskin
Korynne Moga
Natalie Mueller
Kyah McCray
Savannah Fraley
Shaylin Swenson
Charlotte Lueck
Sophia LaGalbo
Julia Gaskin
Sheba Bentum-Mensah
Mariah Reynolds
Emma Rader
Grace Zortman
Leila Lu Maye
Annika Johnson
Grace Zortman
Kelsey Hart
Caroline Garsha
Addie Kane
Amelia Horwitz
Ava Lamb
*If I missed anyone I am sorry. If I duplicated any names you are welcome. The search engines will find you first.
In December of 2021, I accomplished a long-term goal when I published my first book. The book, titled What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? is a collection of 80 important life lessons the universe has shared with me. And because the great lessons of life are typically dispensed after enjoying some egg foo young and chop suey, the book title was obvious.
Surprisingly, one of the more challenging aspects of writing the book was deciding who to dedicate the book to. I’m sure that doesn’t seem that hard. Especially when compared to say, writing the rest of a 290-page book. But it was.
The Reasons:
First, I didn’t know how good the first book would be. After all, the first pancake on the griddle always turns out a little funky. So I didn’t want to dedicate a subpar book to someone really important to me. Although, I wouldn’t dedicate any book to someone unimportant to me. Hence the conundrum.
Second, from the beginning, I planned to write several books. So ultimately there should be several different dedications. Pairing each book with the proper dedicatee complicates things.
Finally, I wanted a simple, focused dedication. Not a long list of everyone I could ever thank. I would save that for the acknowledgements section in the back of the book. And for when I win an academy award.
Despite the challenges, I initially wrote a dedication that I liked. But late in the process, I altered the dedication several times. Which included both who I dedicated the book to, and what I wrote to them.
9 months after publishing the fortune cookie bookie I had more or less forgotten about the dedication dilemma. That is until this week.
A couple of days ago I opened the original digital layout of the book I received from my publisher, Ripples Media. The layout featured the original dedication. And while I am very happy with the final published dedication, I liked the original one too. It was playful. Yet meaningful. It featured both a pop culture reference and some humor. Which is my favorite kind of writing.
Instead of taking this dedication to the grave with me, I’d like to share it with you as a sort of deleted scene from my book.
The Published Version:
Dedication
To my children Ava, Johann, and Magnus. I hope this helps.
The Original Version:
Dedication
I’m dedicating this book to Casey Kasem. It’s a long-distance dedication.
But if I weren’t dedicating this to Casey Kasem (which I am), I would dedicate this to my grandfathers, Alton Archibald Albrecht and Kenneth Adam Sprau. The process of preparing the eulogies for your memorial services changed my life. It made me think about what is important and what lessons I will pass down to others. (I’m not sure if I have to mention that my grandfathers have both passed away or if the eulogy part made that kinda obvious.)
Why The Change
Ultimately, the fact that my grandfathers were highly unlikely to read the book, while my kids would at least crack the cover to see if their names were in the book, inspired me to dedicate it to my offspring.
Truth be told, Ava, Johann and Magnus are the reasons I wrote the book. I wanted to pass along a collection of the best lessons I have learned to them. Because even though I can’t be with them everywhere they go in life, they can always have the book with them. Even in prison. And as the book came together I could tell it was good, valuable, and something I could be very proud of dedicating to my children.
Key Takeaway
When you write a book, make it great, and dedicate it to people who may actually read your book. Who knows, it may inspire them to empty the dishwasher. At least that’s the dream.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
My 16-year-old daughter Ava has a new job this summer. She is a cashier at our local Piggly Wiggly grocery store. The store name sounds both deliciously made-up and midwestern. Ava doesn’t know it yet, but it will also provide her with a fun talking point for all future job interviews.
Like any eager Dad, I like to talk to Ava about her job and what she is learning about life, business, and pigs. In my head, I imagine that our talks will be an important part of her success story. Like Robert Kiyosaki’s childhood talks that inspired the book Rich Dad. Poor Dad. In reality, she’s probably going to write a book called Nosey Dad. Annoying Dad.
Ava really enjoys her job at The Pig. The store is central to our community and she gets to see people she knows all day long. When she gets home from work I like to greet her with questions like, How was work? And, How was the paper-to-plastic ratio today? And, What are the Bosleys having for dinner tonight?
The Bigger Lesson
Last night I asked My-favorite-child to share the greatest lesson she has learned from her job so far. So she did. And the answer was far better than I was expecting. Which is why I am writing about it now. Here’s her answer.
What’s the greatest lesson you have learned from your job so far?
I’ve learned that a good job is not so much about the actual work you do as much as it is about who you are doing it with.
I expect that in your actual career the kind of work probably matters more. But the key to happiness at work is to surround yourself with people you enjoy spending your time with.
The wrong people can make you miserable, even if you enjoy what you are doing.
But the right people can help you enjoy what you are doing, even if you are not crazy about the work itself. And even if it’s not your dream job.
Being surrounded by the right people will help you do your job better than when you are around miserable people. Because when you are around happy people who take pride in their work, you will want to too.
Happy people rub off on each other, and lead to better customer service.
I’ve now learned that both good and bad atmospheres build on themselves. But in opposite directions.
Last summer my work environment was terrible, all the way from the top managers to the lowest levels of the staff. It was a hard place to work. And toxic.
But this summer, the work environment is so positive and enjoyable that the positive relationships between coworkers keep building, and then spill over to positively impact the customers’ experience.
-Ava Albrecht (16)
My deep-thinking cashier.
Key Takeaway
A good job is less about the work you do and more about who you do it with. Find work you like to do, and people whom you enjoy spending time with. And you will win at life. And work.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
This spring I took on a fun new challenge. My daughter Ava was a freshman in high school and was very interested in competing in track and field. She is a good runner and jumper, but she was most interested in throwing the discus and the shot put. I expect that had something to do with the fact that I used to throw the disc and shot myself. And that we have a few of each at home.
When Ava was in 7th grade she competed in the sprints and the throws for her middle school team. And because it was a minimal time commitment, I volunteered to help teach the kids some throwing techniques a couple of days a week after work.
But as Ava entered high school I reflected on my own high school experience and recognized that the only reason I was successful was because I had a great high school coach named Jude Dutille. Jude guided me to 2 school records in the shot and discus, 2 New Hampshire state titles, 2 New England championship titles in the discus, and a state record in the discus. What Jude taught me created the amazing opportunity to throw for the University of Wisconsin’s track team. Which was one of the greatest experiences of my life.
I debated whether or not I could commit to the demands of coaching at the high school level while leading my advertising and idea agency, The Weaponry. Ultimately, as with entrepreneurship, I decided that I would rather fail at my attempt than regret not trying. So in April I officially became the throwing coach for the girl’s track team at Homestead High School in Mequon, Wisconsin.
I immediately recognized how little I knew. Because participating in a sport as an athlete and coaching are very different. I tried to learn as much as I could about coaching the throws by reading and watching videos on YouTube. I followed great throwers and coaches on Instagram. And I sought out insights and advice from experts, including my great high school coach, Jude Dutille, and Dave Astrauskas, the throws coach at the University of Wisconsin, who is one of the elite throwing coaches in America.
The season started with a lot of lifting. And masks. And blurry photography.
I enjoyed the experience very much. I had 9 girls on my team. Thanks to Covid-19, only one of them had ever thrown a shot or discus in high school before. So we had a lot to learn in a short amount of time. And while I would love to talk about all of my athletes here I don’t want to violate any coach/athlete confidentiality/anonymity issues. So I will only talk specifically about the athlete I sign the waivers for.
The Season
We started the season strong, and Ava won the discus in her very first high school meet. Which I thought was crazy, because I don’t think I won my first meet until my junior year of high school. Then, she went on to win her second meet in the discus too, throwing 12 feet farther than the first meet. And no, I didn’t set up a series of 1-person meets so that she would win, although that sounds like a great idea. (There were 20 throwers in both of the first 2 meets. And I was as surprised she won as anyone.)
The third meet of the season was our conference relay meet. In a relay meet you total the distances of your top 3 throwers’ best throw for a team score. Homestead won the discus and took 3rd in the shot put. And Ava had the second farthest throw in the meet.
A.C. was not afraid to work hard, or get dirty.
But then we began to struggle. And we couldn’t hit the same distances again. The low point was at the conference championships when Ava fouled all 3 of her throws and had no mark at all.
I felt the frustration of being a new and inexperienced coach. I was frequently disappointed that I wasn’t able to help Ava or the other girls more. I saw all of their challenges as my failures to help them with the guidance, feedback, and input they needed. While I have never experienced imposter syndrome as an entrepreneur, I felt it big time as a small-time coach. I felt like I was a phony baloney coach who didn’t have the answers my girls really needed to improve.
But we kept working and things began to improve again for Ava and her teammates. In the last meet that all 9 of my girls competed in, I think that we set 7 personal records in the discus and 7 in the shot to end the season on a high note, like Mariah Carey.
More hard work. We got busted for being in the weight room on a Sunday night, without having signed up for the time slot. I didn’t know you have to sign up for late night lifting sessions. Now I do. So now we sign up.
After that, we had a final regular-season varsity meet with all of the teams from our conference again. I had 4 girls competing. And all 4 of them threw their personal best. It was capped off by Ava’s last throw in the discus that not only won the event, but was the farthest throw in the conference all year as we wrapped the regular season. In Ava’s 3 meets with all the teams in our conference she came in 2nd, then dead last, and then first. Which was a great sign of resilience that will serve her well in the future.
The Post (Malone) Season
Last Monday we had our state regional meet, which was a mix of success and disappointment for my girls. The top 4 finishers in the meet move on to sectionals. But in the shot put, my 2 best throwers came in 5th, (just 3 inches shy of qualifying and moving on), and 6th, less than a foot from qualifying. We were close, like Glenn. But just short of our goals.
In the discus, my 2 great senior throwers both threw their best ever, one throwing her personal record by 4 feet! But they finished 6th and 7th, just shy of moving on. Ava was in 3rd place going into the finals. But then got bumped down to 5th when 2 other girls hit big throws in the finals. She then hit the distance she needed on her 5th throw to move back up to 4th place and qualify for the sectional meet.
The Sectional Meet
Thursday night was the sectional meet. Despite starting the season with 9 girls and having 4 in the regional meet, I only had one athlete left. A freshman named Ava, who also happened to be my daughter.
My parents drove up from Indiana for the big meet.
A.C. (short for Ava Claire) was now competing for a chance to go to the Wisconsin State Championship meet. Only the top 3 make it through. And it was obvious that all of the competitors were feeling the pressure. A.C. opened up with a decent throw, but then fouled her next throw. In fact, I saw more fouls per competitor in this competition than I had seen all season as the girls pushed to try to qualify for the state meet.
The finals were intense. Each throw had the potential to re-shuffle the girls. But after the final throws were made and the results were announced, my athlete, my daughter, the reason I got involved in coaching, was in 3rd place. She qualified for the Wisconsin Division 1 state meet as one of only 2 freshmen in the state to make it.
The podium at sectionals.
I am looking forward to the state meet next Saturday in La Crosse. A.C. But the win was simply getting to the meet this year. Anything else is a bonus.
Profound Reflections
At the end of every practice, and after every meet this track season, Ava has come up to me and said, ‘Dad, thank you for coaching.’ She recognizes the commitment of time and energy it takes. And all that I had to do to work my day job at The Weaponry around the coaching by going into the office early and working late into the night.
I have told Ava there is only one reason I am coaching. And that is to steal time with her. Because as a freshman in high school I recognize that I only have 4 years left with her at home. So I am stealing 2 hours of her life every day that was supposed to go to someone else. And while this season she may have won medals, taken first-place finishes, and qualified for the state meet, I was the big winner. Because I took home the most valuable prize of all: irreplaceable time with my daughter.
Me and my girl.
Key Takeaway
Remember to volunteer your time and talents to help others whenever you can. Pass along your knowledge. And spend as much time with your kids as you can, while you can.
Happy Father’s Day from one very happy and thankful dad.
My daughter Ava is a freshman in high school and has been playing basketball since 4th grade. To improve her skills, she has also been training with Joe Chapman at Chapman Basketball Academy in Milwaukee for the past 3 years.
Joe is a great coach. In fact, he coached the Marquette alumni team, aptly named The Golden Eagles, to the championship of The Basketball Tournament. So what you say? The winning team wins $1 million dollars. Which makes TBT one of the most exciting new sporting events concocted this century.
Joe Chapman with the left-handed ET greeting.
The Good Miss
During CBA training sessions I regularly hear Joe say, ‘Good miss’. For developing basketball players, a good miss is a shot that hits the back of the rim. This is the best way to miss a shot for several reasons:
You hit the rim. Which means that your aim was in the right direction. If you don’t hit the rim it’s a bad miss. (I have mastered the bad miss if you want to see what that looks like.)
A shot that hits the front of the rim is too short and will naturally bounce out, based on physics, angles, relativity and polarity. (I may have made the last 2 up.)
A shot that hits the back of the rim was aimed correctly, had enough distance to go in, and could still bounce into the hoop. In other words, the shot that hits the back of the rim gives you a chance. #SoYourSayingTheresAChance
Ava and Joe and a banner (but not David Banner).
Pro Tip
Travis Diener, another Chapman Basketball Academy trainer who played in the NBA for the Orlando Magic, Indiana Pacers and Portland Trailblazers, told me that for him there is no longer a good miss, and that he expects to make every shot he takes. But that when starting out it is good to distinguish good misses from bad misses so that you can identify progress as you develop and refine your skills. And since Diener hit the winning million dollar shot in this year’s TBT, he knows what he is talking about, Willis.
Travis Diener, with the leaner.
Your Good Misses
We all have good misses. These are the attempts that didn’t land where or how you intended. And they occur in every area of your life. But you can still take positive feedback from the results. As you are learning new skills and developing new muscles it is important to distinguish good misses from bad.
Until you master an activity you should give yourself partial credit for your good misses. For the actions that were nearly there. When you clearly identify the intended outcome you can measure your improvement through efforts that land just one circle out from a perfect execution.
Hypothetical Examples
Maybe you didn’t land the job, but you got the second or third interview.
You made a cold call and you got a response, but not a yes.
Your backhand cleared the net, but landed outside the lines.
While parallel parking you bumped the curb, but not the other cars.
You asked that cute guy or girl out, but called them by the wrong name.
Key Takeaway
When you are developing a new skill your performances are not black and white. Don’t simply categorize your attempts as passes or fails. In every activity there are good misses. And there are airballs. Know the difference, and know what you can learn from each of them.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
Adam Albrecht Blog 