Tag: church

Embracing Vulnerability: My Sunday Lesson.

On Sunday at church, I sat unusually close to the front of the sanctuary. My wife Dawn and I started a walk n’ talk with Pastor Bill Knapp in the narthex, and ended up walking him down the aisle until we got to the altar. Since we didn’t qualify for the exclusive seating on the altar, we sat in the second pew. Or the second row, if you don’t use the word pew. To me, this is the real first row. Because who sits in the row without a pew rack in front of them? People with nothing to hide from God?

I noticed things from that ultra-close vantage point that I had never noticed before.

  • There were more people wearing jeans to church than I realized.
  • I saw people who walk to the altar for communion but didn’t kneel to partake, presumably because their kneelers no longer kneel.
  • I noticed how the choir files out to the choir-itorium up front, then circles to the back of the church to grab a little bread n’ wine. (Emphasis on the little.)
    • I discovered the patterns the distributors use to return to the beginning of their side of the altar after working across the altar to distribute the Jesus goodies.

The Children’s Sermon

But I also witnessed something interesting during the children’s sermon. About 20% of the way through the service, our pastor invited the wee folk to come up to the altar for the children’s sermon.

Within seconds, I saw a young boy dash down the aisle like an eager bride on her wedding day. The boy sprinted to the altar, jumped the 2 steps to the main stage, and hit a hook slide across the wooden floor to a spot at the dead center. And just a foot in front of Pastor Bill. It was such an amazingly enthusiastic Dukes of Hazard way to show up for the word of the Lord that I couldn’t help but admire the young boy’s enthusiasm and aggressiveness.

After all the other kids filed up to the altar and took their seats crisscross applesauce-style, I saw another very young boy slowly approach the altar. This boy looked very timid, and unsure. He squeezed his father’s hand. And as he passed just in front of me, I heard him whisper to his dad, ‘Stay with me, ok?’ I then watched the loving father sit on the edge of the altar, with his arm around his son, so that the boy felt comforted in this scary, vulnerable and foreign situation.

After witnessing both boys approaching the same children’s sermon in the same church with such drastically different styles, I couldn’t help but consider which of these boys I identified with.

The answer came to me quickly and obviously:

Both.

While I love the eager, enthusiastic approach of Hook Slide Sven, and often employ a similarly energetic entrance, there are times when I feel like Timid Teddy.

When I was young, I felt that way a lot in specific new and confusing situations. Over the years, the balance has shifted dramatically. My moments of timidity today are few and far between. But they still happen. I don’t look meek. But I feel like I have no idea what I am walking into. But like Timid Teddy, I go anyway.

It’s important to recognize the value of experience. Anything you do can be scary and intimidating the first time. But do it anyway. Because everything you do is easier the second time. I see Hook Slide Sven at church all the time. He’s altared countless times for the children’s sermon and to sing in the children’s choir. He’s very comfortable in that environment. Which makes it easy for him to show up as his authentic hook-sliding self.

Timid Teddy was trying. Good for him. And good for you when you try something new, go somewhere new, eat something new or wear something new and bedazzled. It’s ok to show up feeling uncomfortable. That’s how you grow, learn, expand your world, and develop life skills and confidence. And once you are confident in a situation, help bring others along.

Key Takeaway

Sometimes you will feel confident, energetic and aggressive going into situations. That’s great. That is you at your best. Embrace and enjoy when you feel like that. It comes with experience. But know that it is ok to feel unsure, unprepared, apprehensive and cautious. The world does a good job of making us feel like that when we are out of our element and out of our comfort zone. When you feel unsure, but go, do, try, ask, join or partake anyway, you are growing. And that is just as valuable. Because when you do, you gain comfort and confidence. And you will soon be sliding into the same situation like Bo Duke, Rickey Henderson, or the boy at my church.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The COVID-19 response is a great reminder about rules.

I don’t like rules. It’s not that I don’t like order. It is that I am wired to find the scenarios where the rules don’t work. I love discovering conditions where something other than the rule is better than the rule itself. And I especially love pointing out these exceptions in rule-heavy environments, like schools, libraries and school libraries. #stopshushingme

Suspension

All the rules that have been suspended during the COVID-19 crisis have been interestingly satisfying to me. They are evidence that rules are not really rules. They are general agreements we make for now. And when a change in conditions warrants, those general agreements will be unmade. Because we will have entered into the rule-defying scenarios I love to think about.

Over the past 2 months there have been an endless parade of rule changes. Rules about schooling, business, the Olympics, start dates, end dates and requirements of all sorts. Rules about drug trials, telemedicine and sports. Even rules about rules. Which makes this a ruley, ruley interesting time.

Current Conditions

Rules that prohibited employees from working from home went out the window when everyone was told they had to work from home. Rules about how long you can hold onto a library book, have changed. And church rules now say we can’t show up for Sunday morning service. Where was that rule when I was 12?

Taxes

I knew we were getting into interesting territory when the tax rules changed. Paying taxes, once one of the 2 certainties of life, along with death, has been pushed off for several months. At the same time, criminals are not serving time for breaking rules that typically would put them behind bars. And speaking of bars, the crazy rule is no longer that you can’t smoke in a bar. It’s that you can’t drink in one either.

Rule Flexibility

The closing of everything, and the extreme measures taken to combat the health and economic challenges of COVID-19 illustrate that rules can be changed whenever necessary to serve the greater good. So we must keep in mind that rules can also be regularly, and temporarily modified to serve the smaller, individual good.

Key Takeaway

Rules don’t rule. The people who make them do. And people can change the rules anytime to accommodate for unusual conditions. Which is a reminder for those of us who are charged with making and enforcing rules that we always have the flexibility to acknowledge the exceptions and respond appropriately, compassionately and creatively.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

Great advice for people who are soaring.

My life is great right now. Not Instagram great. But a solid, off-camera kind of great. Of course what actually constitutes a great life is totally subjective. So perhaps my life is just great in my own head. But at a minimum I have the right mindset. Because we see what we want to see, and feel what we want to feel.

The Facts

Today, my family and I are healthy. I feel as if I have friends. I am living in a place I enjoy. I am doing work that I am excited to do. Better yet, I am making significant progress towards my most important life goals. I’m having fun. I still think everything is funny. And perhaps best of all, I still don’t need adult diapers.

Getting Sunday Schooled

This past Sunday my family and I had a very busy day scheduled. Our morning got off to a slow start and my wife, Dawn and I had some tense moments about whether or not we could get to the 9am church service as we had planned. We knew we would be late, but we went anyway. Because even though we were running behind I imagined God would still high five me when I walked in the door.

We arrived 10 minutes late. The sanctuary was packed. The narthex, was packed as well. (Look at me using Jesusy words like narthex.) Luckily, after the children left for Sunday School we found just enough seats in the balcony and sat down.

Feeling Grateful

I am really happy we made it to church that morning. Because during the sermon Pastor Bill Knapp shared a really important message. The message felt tailor-made for me, as so many good messages do when you listen with receptive ears (and when you are a raging narcissist.)

The Message:

If you are soaring, use the view up there to see others who could use your help.  – Pastor Bill Knapp  

That’s Me!

I certainly feel like I am soaring. And it does provide a better view of the world.

Helping Others Soar

From my soaring position I am trying to share as much as I can about how I got up here. I share the lessons I’ve learned and continue to learn with my 3 kids. I share them with the students I guest lecture to several times a year. I share with my teammates at work. I share with friends and family who are at a crossroads in their careers and lives. I share what I am learning with other entrepreneurs. And with others who are trying to get their own businesses off the ground.

Blogging

I also share the lessons I am learning here on The Perfect Agency Project blog. What’s even better, is that my blog posts often lead to more significant conversations, both online and in person.  In a fun turn of events, people are also turning to me to understand how to start and maintain a blog. Two of my posts: What I have learned about blogging after 200 posts. and  12 things I’ve learned from writing 300 blog posts. have generated a lot of interest, thank you’s and positive feedback from bloggers and want-to-be bloggers around the world.

Soaring Higher

The funny thing about this is that the more I share with others the more I feel like I am learning, connecting, enjoying, and yes, soaring. Best of all, the higher I soar, the better the view to see more ways to help others.

Key Takeaway

If you are going places, help others get there too. Flying in a flock is more fun than flying alone. So teach others. Share what you know. You won’t realize how valuable your knowledge, perspective and experience is until you start to give it away. Plus, it feels great to share. And when you help others fly, they will never forget it. I know. Because I have received a lot of help myself.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this story, please share it with them. If you would like to learn more of what I am learning, consider subscribing to this blog.

The other good book you should have in church.

I enjoy going to church. I like the routine and rituals. I love taking time to reflect. I like the grounding it provides. I always appreciate the music. And I like that it is the only time that I am ever in a room with hundreds of other people who all decide to put their little digital buddies down and be present.

Lessons

But what I like most about church is learning. Through the sermon, the scripture and the stories, a church service shares wisdom, perspective and philosophy. It teaches lessons on morality and history. I always learn something new. In fact, I find that a good church service feels like a combination of attending a class and reading a book.

Taking Notes

Speaking of books, as an Entrepreneur, blogger and professional creative, I carry a notebook with me everywhere I go. I take notes in meetings, while on airplanes and while grabbing chocolate milk . But I don’t bring a notebook to church. Suddenly, after 40+ years of attending services, this seems really odd to me.

Sure, I have written notes in church. Sometimes in a bulletin or on a spare offering envelope in the pew rack (pew, it smells like church!). But I have never had a dedicated notebook that I take to church, and use to collect all of the pearls of wisdom, words of inspiration, worthwhile bible passages, and funny thoughts that I have that I can’t share with anyone in the moment.

Searching For Another Good Book

Now I am considering what the best notebook would be. Should it be something created specifically for church? Or is a blank Moleskin the perfect receptacle? Size matters too. Should it be small and easily tucked into my pocket, so I don’t forget it. Or should I carry a large stone tablet with room for 10 lessons that begin with Thou?

What do you do?

Do you bring a notebook to your church, synagogue, mosque, tabernacle or other place of higher learning?  If so, I’d love to hear about it. Does anybody type notes into their phone, and risk looking like they are texting during worship (with one eye on the screen, and one eye looking for lightening)? If you think bringing a dedicated notebook to a place of worship seems odd, I’d like to hear that too.

Happy Sunday. I hope you all have a noteworthy day.

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This is the Norwich Congregational Church, the church I grew up in Norwich, Vermont. As a teenager I used to usher here before Usher made ushering cool.

3 easy things you can do to prevent stress gunk.

Entrepreneurship is like joining the Stress Of The Day Club. Because entrepreneurship is hard. But motherhood and fatherhood and living in the hood are also hard. That’s because life is hard, and stressful. No one is immune. And not to spoil the ending, but none of us will make it out alive.

Stress Gunk

We accumulate stress during regular operating hours every day. If we are not careful, that stress leads to the accumulation of a funky gunk. That gunk prevents us from performing at our best. In turns us into cranky pants. It also prevents us from being able to handle more stress.

I have found 3 things that help me eliminate the stress gunk in my trunk. Together these 3 ingredients form my de-stress recipe. Or destressipe.

1. Exercise

When I started lifting weights when I was a freshman in high school it changed my life. I tend to have a lot of energy. But when I lift weights it helps me burn off my excess, pent-up, or silly energy. Stress is a form of energy too. You can use it like a workout supplement to move more weights or endure longer endurancey things. The key is to workout until you’ve burned off the stress energy. It’s a great way to prevent your mind and body from going all Chernobyl.

2. Sleep

Sleep is your giant reset button. It is what helps replenish your store of energy, your tolerance for craziness, your focus, your stamina and your eye boogers. Whenever I get 7 hours of sleep at night I feel like I am unstoppable. I often nap on the weekends too. Because it is an investment in a better me. When I don’t feel quite right, sleep is my go to prescription. Because it is how your body naturally regenerates the best you.

3. Church.

Stress often causes us to lose perspective. Or maybe it is the loss of perspective that causes the stress. Either way, attending church is the best way I know to regain a healthy world view. I believe there is a greater power than me. And I don’t just mean the IRS or Dwayne Johnson. I’m on Team Christian. But I believe all of the major religions provide great perspective and guidance on how to be a better you and live a better life.

I try to attend church regularly. It helps me refocus, refresh, relax, feel supported, and forgiven for my mistakes. Communion also makes me feel a bit like a cannibal when I eat and drink JC. But that’s a different issue.

Key Takeaway

There are stresses, frustrations and losses that accumulate every day. We are drained by daily setbacks. So we have to prevent the stress gunk from building up and fouling our systems. The key is to figure out how to reboot, regenerate, and respond positively.  Exercise, Sleep and Church are the back-to-basics keys that can help you find your balance again when you start to weeble or wobble. Try these proven approaches. They just may make you feel like a better human.