Reflection: 14 Things That Went Great In My 40s.

May is my favorite month of the year. May is spring, and new beginnings and good weather. May is track & field season. May brings Memorial Day weekend, which kicks off summer. Although in Wisconsin, sometimes it’s a Charlie Brown kickoff, and Lucy pulls the ball away before it ever gets a chance to fly.

May is also Birthday Month for me, my 3 sisters, my son Johann, and a couple of nieces and a nephew. This year, my birthday was no small milestone. On May 25, I turned 50. Which is significant on several levels. Mostly, because I make it significant in my head. To make the most of each decade I set major long-term goals by the decade. Today, I am excited about the possibility and promise of my 50s. Because by all accounts, my 40s were a raging success. Here’s my reflection.

14 Things That Went Great In My 40s.

  1. My Career: I started my own business when I was 42, and I spent the majority of my 40s leading the advertising and ideas agency, The Weaponry. Starting an advertising agency was my #1 goal of my 40s. Not starting a business would have been my greatest regret. The business is now well into its 8th year and growing. Check the box!
Me at The Weaponry. And a leaf like the original Adam wore.
Several Weapons

2. Travel. In my 40s I traveled all over America. I think I visited 45 states. The only state I have left to visit is Hawaii. In the past decade, I also traveled to Argentina, India and Canada. And I would have traveled to Europe if it wasn’t for that meddling pandemic! But I have a trip to London, Paris, Bern and Munich locked and loaded. So go 50s!

My trip to India was an epic part of my travel over the past decade.

3. Writing: I have now written 881 blog posts. All that writing prepared me to write my first book: What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? I started writing the book when I was 46 and published it when I was 48. I co-authored my first book with Jeff Hilimire too, titled The Culture Turnaround. There are more books planned (and mostly written) for my 50s. Plus there is a newsletter in the works…

The first time I held my paper baby.

4. Speaking: Publishing my book led to speaking opportunities. This year I am on track to earn more money from speaking than I did in the first year of my advertising career. I really enjoy speaking and sharing stories and lessons with others. On my 50th birthday, I took the day off of work to enjoy my big day, but I then volunteered to speak to students at two schools about my career. Which means I really enjoy it. Or else I just really like hanging out at Middle Schools.

My first talk of my 50s.

5. Coaching Track: I started coaching high school track and field 3 years ago. I didn’t know any more about coaching than anyone else who had participated in a sport through high school and college. I didn’t even have a clipboard, whistle or a Throw-one-for-the-Gipper speech. But 3 years in I have coached a boy discus thrower to 181 feet, the second farthest throw in Wisconsin last year, and my daughter Ava hit 130 feet as a junior. For context, 3 years into coaching, I have only seen 4 girls hit 130 feet or more in a meet, and Ava is one of them. Exciting things are ahead for my daughter-athlete next year. And both of my sons plan to throw next year too. Their training has already started.

Some of the great girls I’ve coached.

6. Coaching Football: I started coaching youth football. Again, I started knowing very little beyond my own experience as a player. Today I am the defensive coordinator for the 6th-grade team in Mequon, Wisconsin. Which will be the 7th-grade team next year. I have learned a lot and developed rewarding relationships with a fun group of boys in my son Magnus’ class. And I’m trying to help create a positive experience that the boys will remember forever. Or at least get them to break a huddle in unison.

My son Magnus is #55. You can see my knee beside his.

7. Parenting. I started my 40s with 3 children who were 7, 5, and 2 years old. Today they are 17, 16 and 12. (Because math works like that.) I am proud to say that I have a strong relationship with my 3 children. Even though they are teens or tweens, we remain very close through what I expected to be the most challenging period of our relationship. I know them well enough to know that none of them are teen-wolfs. I am highly involved in each of their lives, and I will miss them greatly when they fly from the nest in my new decade.

Me and the offspring on my 50th!

8. Marriage: I have now been married for 20 years to my wonderful wife Dawn. We are closer than ever and our marriage works well. Our communication is strong. She is my best friend. Sorry everyone else who thought they were my bestie. (You are my next-bestie.)

Me and Dawn when we were just babies. Now we are both 50+ and feeling Nifty+!

9. Fitness: I wanted to hit my 50s in great shape. One year ago I weighed 224 pounds. For context, I am 6 feet tall. And I graduated from high school at 215 pounds and from college at 211. I lift weights several times a week and am about as strong as I was at 18. Plus, I do cardio work 4 times per week. On my 50th birthday, I weighed 206 pounds. And I have a goal of doing 20 pullups at 50 years old. I haven’t attempted it yet. But I did hit 20 pullups 3 times in the past 2 weeks, so I expect it will be no problem. #dothehardworkearly.

10. Hair: I still have a full head of hair. I am not bragging. I am thankful. Or grateful, or whichever one is politically correct.

Still flowing at fifty.

11. Reading: I have read more in my 40s than in any other decade of my life. I can feel the effect of my reading. I am continuously learning and adding to my understanding and knowledge. My thinking keeps getting better. My brain feels well exercised. And I have set a new record for paper cuts. I got up on my birthday and read from 5:30 am to 6 am when it was time to write. ( I am currently reading The Greater Journey, about Americans in Paris in the 1880s by David McCullough, and listening to How Successful People Think by John C. Maxwell. I have already completed 17 books in 2023, and should finish 1 more today!

My initial reading list for the year.

12. Relationships. Through the past decade, I have lived in 3 states. And I have gained tons of new friends. I have also maintained my many friendships. I’m like a friend hoarder. Only I let people live in their own homes instead of piling them in my kitchen. I have organized social groups. I planned and hosted my 30th high school reunion. I make friendships very quickly. It is one of my greatest or favorite strengths. However, in the past 5 years, I have also had an odd falling out with one of my (formerly) closest friends, which I really don’t understand. But I accept it and have moved on. There is a lesson in that too.

Some of my favorite Marauder friends from Hanover High School in New Hampshire, 30 years later.
I’m thankful that my original family is all still here and that we remain close. Although we look a little too happy considering this was taken right after my Grandma Albrecht’s funeral. (You know we love you Grandma. And you were 99.)

13. Skillz. I added some new skills in the past decade. Entrepreneurship, blogging and authoring are the obvious ones. But also surfing, coaching, mentoring, keynoting, wake surfing and parenting teenagers to name a few. I am currently working on my French aussi. You are never too old to keep adding skills. And girls like guys with skills. Like nunchuck skills.

I learned to surf in my 40s. I even got off the sand and into real water!

14. Home During my 40s I lived in 4 different houses in Ohio, Georgia and Wisconsin. 2 years ago, after shopping for 2.5 years and not making a single offer, Dawn and I walked into our current home the first day it was on the market. We immediately knew it was the home for us and made an offer that afternoon. We have loved living in our current home. It is the first time in my adult life that I have lived somewhere that I didn’t consider temporary. Which is a great base for a great next decade.

Me and the Crew at home.

Key Takeaway

There is a difference between aging and living. Don’t confuse the two. Focus on the living and the aging won’t bother you. Life is what you make it. Setting goals for each decade helps you think long-term and act in the short term. Decade thinking gives you enough time for great accomplishments and great change. But it provides a clear and unmoveable endpoint that creates the everpresent gift of urgency. So enjoy your life. Enjoy your decade. And make the most of every day.

If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to really make your network work.

Your network is one of your most valuable assets. But how much work should you put into building and maintaining your network? It’s an even more important question to ask than how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck would. But I bet you don’t have a good answer to either question. And neither did I. Until now.

Gary Keller

Recently I bought a couple of books by Gary Keller. In addition to being a best selling author, Keller is the co-founder of Keller Williams Realty. Which, my Spidey Sense tells me, is how the company got its first name.

The One Thing

The 2 Keller books I now own are The One Thing, which I have not yet started, but assume is about going number one, and The Millionaire Real Estate Investor, which I highly recommend.

The Millionaire RE Investor

Your Work Network

In The Millionaire Real Estate Investor Keller writes a lot about Your Work Network. He breaks this network down into 3 concentric circles:

  • Your Inner Circle,
  • Your Support Circle
  • Your Service Circle

The inner circle is comprised of your mentors, partners and consultants. The support circle is comprised of the core people you need to support and advise you on specific work transactions. The service circle consists of all the people that you may need to perform specialized tasks with a limited scope.

Your 3 Rings

Regardless of whether you are involved in real estate or a stay at home mom or dad, you have a network with a similar 3-ring structure. Which is not to be confused with the 3-ring circus, 3-ring binder or the 3-ring rule when answering a call after a first date.

The Aha

Envisioning your network as concentric circles is useful, but not not mind blowing. However, I found Keller’s recommendation on how to maintain your network relationships thought provoking.

Maintaining Your Network

Keller writes that to maintain your work relationships you should:

  1. Call Them Every Month
  2. Mail Them Something of Interest Every Month
  3. Meet With The Members of Your Inner Circle Every Month

This is a great rule of thumb. Most of us probably fall nowhere near this level of contact with our network. But we should. Calling is easy. If you broaden the term mailing to include email and texting you can certainly do a whole lot of #2 (#snickering). And meeting with the members of your inner circle once a month should be a no brainer, scarecrow.

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My college teammate Bryan Jones is a Realtor with Keller Williams, and someone I talk to every month and meet with several times a year.

Key Takeaway

You get out of your network what you put into it. Try Keller’s advice to stay connected to those in your network once a month. Start with your inner rings. We should all fully invest in our inner circle on a monthly basis. However, increasing your investment in your middle, or even your outer ring could pay huge dividends for you both personally and professionally. So as Rhianna said, work, work, work, work, work on putting more work into your network. And you are sure to draw more great things your way.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this idea, please share it with them. 

What happened to me in June.

Sometimes life gets in the way of my writing. Sorry. I try to spend an hour each day, five or six days per week collecting and sharing my thoughts here. My publishing goal is to share two posts per week. Which for the math-challenged is roughly 8-10 posts per month. But June came up significantly short. Like Emanuel Lewis. Or a Smurf.

The Numbers

I performed some June-y data analytics. By that I mean I counted some things. I only shared 5 posts. Or about 1 post per week. Then I tallied my travel over the past month. I was away from home for 17 days in June. Which means over half of my June was spent on the road. So while there wasn’t a lot of Doogie Howser-Style thought typing (comment if you understand this reference), there was a lot of travel.

In June I saw:

  • Columbus, Ohio
  • The COSI Museum
  • The place where the Kent Sate May, 4 Shootings happened.
  • The Statue of Liberty
  • Ellis Island
  • The 9/11 Museum
  • The top of the Empire State Building
  • The Natural History Museum in NYC
  • Gettysburg, PA
  • The Maryland Mountains (yes this is a thing)
  • Morgantown, WV
  • Wheeling, WV
  • Lafayette, IN (#FathersDayVisit)
  • Atlanta (twice)
  • Athens, GA (twice)
  • Columbus, GA
  • Albany, GA

My friend Audrey Lowder took me and my family to the top of the Empire State Building. My kids re-enacted some Sleepless in Seattle scenes. She had a major birthday yesterday. Happy Birthday Audrey!

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My family visited this top-secret location in New York City, that I can not disclose.

People, People, People

I saw a lot of people in June. I visited clients. I saw my parents. I saw my cousin Tim in a random grocery store parking lot outside of Philadelphia. I saw former co-workers I hadn’t seen in 7 years. I saw the private equity studs that used to own Engauge, the adverting agency I worked at for 7 years. I got together with a whole gillooly of friends from my neighborhood in Atlanta. I even got to hear one of my doctor friends tell the story of how he learned to do pelvic exams.

I spent time with Dr. Demond Means in Athens Georgia, sharing new logos, tagline, manifestos and gumbo.

I got together with my neighborhood friends in Atlanta, who taught me how to scare off home intruders, who are actually your friends stopping by to walk your dog (like you asked them to do).

I grabbed a fancy beverage with my friend Nicola Smith, who has started her own business called Rebel and Reason. Billy Idol wrote her theme song in 1983.

I saw my cousin Tim in a grocery store parking lot and we were more excited than popcorn popping.

 


Key Takeaway

When I set out to launch my perfect adverting agency, I wanted to build something that would 1. Create enough demand to keep me busy. 2. Provide enough income to be able to take family vacations. 3. Offer enough scale that I could step away from the machine for a few days and the machine would keep running.

Today, The Weaponry is delivering on all three points. But I need to stay focused on getting better, to make sure that doesn’t change. So while I may not have been able to share as often as I would like in June, I can share that what I’m working on is working.

We participated in our annual Dublin Cannonballer Outing in Dublin, Ohio.