Category: family

You are an inflection point.

A few weeks ago, I attended a family reunion. It took place in the tiny but personally significant town of Elkton, Minnesota, where my mom Jill (Sprau) Albrecht was born and raised. Elkton is a town of 130 people. My mom is one of 9 kids. So the Sprau family made up a significant percentage of the town. In fact, the town was so small that the gerrymandering lines were drawn between the bedrooms in my Mom’s childhood home.

The Sprau family reunion took place at my Uncle Jerry’s farm. Which is next to my Uncle Randy’s farm, which is next to my Uncle Rod’s farm, where my Grammy’s family, The Andersons, first settled in Mower County, Minnesota. Straight outta Norway.

In addition to the typical cheek-pinching, wow-you’ve-gotten-talling, hot dog and burger eating, photo-taking, game playing and storytelling, we did something else that really got me thinking thoughty thoughts.

Me, my sons Johann and Magnus, and two hands growing out of my neck.

I was asked to lead a session on our Sprau and Anderson family history. I am an amateur genealogist and probably the closest thing we have to a family historian. Much of this started when I was younger and I was told how important my first name, Adam, is on my mom’s side of the family. And of course, my last name, Albrecht, is significant on my Dad’s side of the family. And my middle name, Robert, is both my dad’s first name and my maternal great grandfather, Robert Anderson’s, first name. So it’s not hard to see that I got tangled into this family history through a few well gifted names.

Following my Shed Talk on Friday, which is like a Ted Talk, but in a shed, I had an aha moment. (It was not about a black and white hand drawn music video.)

As a result of my family history talk, and the genealogical homework I did to prepare for the weekend, I started to visualize a model of my life and my place in my family history that I had never considered before.

Me and my sisters, Donielle, Alison, and Heather, my Mom and Dad, and me. But none of our feet.

I imagined a simplified version of my family tree that led to me.

Here’s what I pictured:

Above me on my family tree are my 2 parents. So my simplest genealogical tree is an inverted triangle with my parents at the top, and me at the lower point. (Which makes me the low point in our family’s history.)

When you add the layer above that, you find 4 people atop my parents. Obviously, those are my 4 grandparents. And the level above them holds my 8 great-grandparents. Which makes that a pretty great level.

Me and my cousins and sisters about to be hauled off.

As you trace your family history you just keep building a taller and wider triangle. And by the time you rise 7 generations you have 128 grandparents. By 10 generations, you have 1,024 grandparents on a single level of your tree. That’s like compound interest, in reverse. And we are all a product of this construct. It’s nature’s math.

My realization over the weekend is that all of the genes and traits, skills, lessons, strengths and abilities of the generations before me have poured into me like a funnel. All of these people have been learning and teaching, improving and growing and passing along what they learned in the best way they knew how.

They also accumulated flaws and habits that didn’t serve them. But much of that got passed along too, through the bottom of the family funnel.

I got the accumulated nature and nurture of countless generations before me from as many as 3 different continents.

That is wild.

However, what happens next is just as wild.

Me and my cousins and sisters getting tanked.

Because I married and decided to have children, the pyramid flips over. I am now at the top of a triangle of my own descendants.

My wife Dawn and I will forever sit at the top of a triangle of our own creation.

We know that pyramid has 3 descendants on the next level: our kids, Ava, Johann and Magnus.

The Three Generation Station

The pyramid may stop right there. Like that woman said to Meatloaf. Or it may continue until the end of time. Like Meatloaf was praying for.

But regardless of how long it builds, all of the nature and nurture that follows flows from me and Dawn.

As the next generations grow and multiply it becomes evident that our genealogy really looks like an hourglass.

There is an inverted triangle above us, that funnels down to us.

Below us is the pyramid of accumulating generations.

This means that many, many ancestors have poured not only their genetics, but their experiences, decisions, strengths and accumulated wisdom into you.

It is hard to say where the sayings, prayers, traditions, terms of affection, mannerisms or womanerisms you use today really started. But there is a strong chance they are deeply rooted in your family tree.

If you choose to have your own children, you are not only passing along your genetic traits, but you are also pouring your habits, values and lessons into the next generations.

This means that you are the center of the hourglass.

You are the filter.

You are the gate keeper.

You are the seed of all that comes after you.

Your decisions, biases, lessons, choices, habits and behaviors will influence everyone who comes after you.

Choose wisely what you pass along to the next generations.

Give them your best.

Filter out the worst. (Although, if you are Germanic, you should give them the best wurst.)

Share as much knowledge and wisdom as you can.

Pass along great habits.

Pass along strong traditions.

Eliminate the things that don’t serve you and won’t serve them.

Ensure that your offspring get the best of what is available to them.

You are the teacher.

The coach.

The prioritizer.

And the great example.

They say sex is hereditary. If your parents didn’t have it, it likely you won’t either.

But the same is true for religion.

And a love for books.

And quality time together.

And games.

And travel.

And sports, culture and music.

And love and kindness.

And generosity.

And friendship.

And braveness

And humor.

And resiliency.

And work ethic.

And grit.

Pass the good stuff along.

It’s how you can pass the best of you along deep into the future.

A healthy portion of the Kenneth and Lilian Sprau Family in Elkton, Minnesota on June 28, 2025.

Key Takeaway

Your ancestors have poured the best they have into you. Now you get to pour the best of you into the future generations. Make sure you carefully consider your contributions. And pass along the best inheritance you can.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.  And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

Why you should watch The Perseids meteor shower tonight.

Tonight is one of my favorite nights of the year! It is the peak of The Perseids Northern Hemisphere Meteor Tour. Every year at this time the Earth passes through a cloud of space rocks. We Earthlings see this as streaks of light slashing across the sky. We call this a meteor shower. Which is better than both the baby and bridal variety. Tonight you could see 60 meteors an hour. If you are a math genius you might be able to figure out how many that is per minute.

How to see it:  

  1. Find a place with as little light pollution as possible.  Times Square and The Vegas Strip are terrible meteor viewing spots. If you are there, watch the people instead. For best results try a more rural location. Like Vermont. Or the Mountain Time Zone.
  2. Go outside. You probably knew this, but I don’t want any confusion.
  3. Look up:  The sky, especially the eastern sky is where the fun is. But don’t stare at a single spot, Mama. The streaks can happen all over the place.
  4. Wait until after the moonset. Once you stop getting mooned the sky will be darker, making the meteors meatier, and easier to see. Check your local listings to see when the moonshine stops in your area.
  5. Keep off your phone. Checking your little device of digital addictions will mess up your eyeballs. You want your pupils fully dilated and dialed into the light show from far, far away.

My family and I watched the meteors last night. Which is kind of like watching the Homerun Derby or the Slam Dunk Contest before the All-Star game. In fact, The Perseids can actually be seen from July into September. Last night I was reminded why watching The Perseids is one of my favorite things to do. (I smell a list coming on.)

7 Reasons I love watching The Perseids meteor shower.

  1. It happens in August. It’s an amazing time to be outside looking up at the sky. There are other major meteor showers that happen in the winter, but I don’t love a cold shower. And this one you can watch with no shirt, no shoes and no problems.
  2. Stop, Hammock Time! I watch the meteors just taking it easy, laying in my hammock where it’s nice and breezy. I have a free-standing hammock. Which means it is not tied to trees which would block the sky. Watching meteors streaking the quad from a hammock is a heavenly experience. Blankets and chairs also work.
  3. The Wow! When you go outside tonight and check out the stars you are going to be wowed by just how many stars there really are. The view is spectacular, even before you start seeing the streakers. If the sky full of stars doesn’t inspire your creativity and sense of wonder you can ask Coldplay for your money back.
  4. Recalibration: Staring up at the stars at night is like stopping to smell the roses. Most of us don’t take nearly enough time to do such things. While you’re watching the wonders of the night sky I hope you regain perspective. We are all lucky to be here. Those big things you are stressing about are really tiny in the the scale of the universe.
  5. Thinking Time. As you stare at the night sky you can’t help but think. The stars will make you wonder how far away they are, and who else is out there, and do they have their own hammocks? Then there are the planes. Where are they going? What is their view like? And the satellites, in my eyes, like a diamond in the sky. They are crazy to see. Oh, you didn’t know you could see satellites? You can! Up to 100 each night. And they will make you think about how they got there and what they are doing.
  6. The Meteors While in theory, these are what you will go outside to look for, they are the icing on the cake. But these shooting stars are absolutely magical. They surprise. They delight. And they will make your mind sparkle. There is a Disneyesque magic to them. And if you were alive during the ‘The more you know” era the shooting stars are also nostalgic.
  7. Time with Family Watching with family or friends makes it all even better. Watching last night with my wife Dawn and my kids Ava, Johann and Magnus was one of the highlights of 2024. We’ll watch again tonight.

Key Takeaway

Get outside tonight and watch the meteor shower. These shooting stars are better than anything on TV or your phone. Watching the night sky will remind you how amazing our world really is. It will make you think and ideate. It will make your problems feel smaller. It is a great experience to share with your family and friends. And it’s free. As are most of the best things in life.

*If you know someone who would enjoy seeing some shooting stars, please share this with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

10 Questions I’m asking myself in my most important performance review.

My daughter Ava graduated from high school a month ago. It opened an interesting new chapter for our family. By all accounts, we are a close family. And we have been since Ava, the first of our 3 children, was born. Next month Ava will leave home to attend college at The University of Wisconsin in Madison. To have a member of our nuclear family of 5 leave the reactor is going to change things. And I hope I don’t Chernolbyl.

There are a lot of exciting unknowns ahead that are fun to ponder. What will her career path be like? Who will she meet along the way? Where will she live? Will she make enough money to put me in the good retirement home and buy me the fancy cremation?

But as I prepare for Ava to leave home next month I find myself reflecting. I’ve asked a lot of questions about the past 18 years and how I have performed in my role as a parent. I’ve given myself a performance review. And I am sharing it with you.

Ava and I after she broke her high school’s 44-year-old discus record.

10 Questions I asked myself as my child prepares to leave home.

  1. Did I spend enough time with Ava? The answer here is complex. Yes, I spent enough time with my daughter. As her high school track and field coach I got far more quality time with Ava than most parents do. Yes, I will always want more. But our time was enough to create a strong bond, to teach, learn and laugh together. I will miss our time together and hope she comes home regularly so we can enjoy more.
  2. Did I set a good example? Yes and no. Certainly, I set a good example in many ways. I was an involved parent in all areas of her first 18 years. I showed her how to work hard, how to make friends and how to make money. But I could have set a better example of how to keep your cool. To be slower to anger when frustrated. I could have used fewer naughty words in front of her. And I could have been stricter about her using naughty words. (But sometimes naughty words express feelings best.)
  3. Did we create enough memories? Yes. This one is a slam dunk. We piled up the memories. Holidays, travel, traditions, sports, adventures, and all the funny unique things along the way. If there is one area of parenting I think I got right, this is it.
  4. Did I pass along my values? Yes. My wife Dawn and I place a high value on values. Our family has The Albrecht’s 5 Most Important Things. My kids know they need to be Smart, Nice, Brave, Funny and Adventurous. We preached this constantly and underscored the importance of each value. When there was some sort of misstep or shortcoming it could always be connected to not adhering to one of the 5 Most Important Things.
  5. Did I make her laugh enough? I’m pretty sure I met my quota. We laugh a lot at our house. It’s one of my favorite things. Ava has a strong sense of humor and we can find lots of reasons to laugh. Even when looking back at the things that were originally painful or embarrassing.
  6. Did I teach her to say I am sorry? I think so. Dawn and I are good at this. It’s important to demonstrate that when you hurt someone’s feelings, were rude, mean or insensitive you should acknowledge it. Even when it was unintentional. And saying you are sorry helps change the whole memory of experiences and relationships, because we rewire the memory once there has been a positive resolution. But just because we taught Ava how to say I’m sorry doesn’t mean she will. She’s stubborn.
  7. Did I teach her enough about money? Yes. I read Rich Dad. Poor Dad. to Ava when she was in elementary school, my dear Watson. I have emphasized the importance of knowing the difference between an asset and a liability. Ava has had a job since 6th or 7th grade. She leaves home with a bank account at The UW Credit Union. She has her own credit card that she uses monthly for small responsible purchases to build her credit. She owns stock in 4 different companies and has seen the value of investing. She knows she needs to make her money work for her, and not just work for money. (If you need to become smarter about money I suggest reading Rich Dad. Poor Dad., Think and Grow Rich, and The Richest Man In Babylon. All of them are easy and informative reads.)
  8. Did I take advantage of the opportunities over the past 18 years? I think so. We spent quality time together. We adventured and traveled. I coached Ava throughout high school. Which created many opportunities to learn about hard work, goal setting, determination, disappointment, resilience and the joy of winning and attaining goals. But we never did a Daddy-Daughter Dance. I probably need more time to see what opportunities I missed.
  9. Is she prepared for her next chapter? Yes. She is about as prepared as a well-cared-for child can be before leaving home. Had we neglected her and forced her to raise herself she may be more prepared for everything to come next. But she would also likely have resentment and other scars. So I think we found a happy medium.
  10. What might I do better with my 2 teenage boys still at home? I could be more patient. Slower to get frustrated or angered. I could teach them more life skills. Tire changing, basic plumbing and electrical work. How to ask your waiter to replace the food that wasn’t quite right.

Key Takeaway

We all take on many roles. It’s valuable to reflect on our performance in each to become better parents, spouses, friends, neighbors volunteers and any other job we take on. It is not through experience, but through reflecting on our experiences that we gain wisdom. So make sure to take time to look back. It ensures that you will be even better at your roles in the future.

I think this girl is going to be alright.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Thank you, Moms.

Where would we be without Moms?

We wouldn’t be here.

We wouldn’t be anywhere.

Not in a box.

Not with a fox.

Without Moms we don’t have a chance.

Moms care for us when we can’t do a thing to care for ourselves.

Then little by little, they teach us how to do everything.

How to eat, talk, and walk.

How to dress.

How to stop pooping and peeing in our pants.

Moms teach us how to learn.

They teach us colors, numbers and directions.

They teach us to read and write.

They teach us how to love and show gratitude.

They teach us manners.

And responsibility.

And patience. (Because all we need is just a little patience.)

Mom’s teach us how to say I’m sorry and mean it.

Mothers teach us selflessness. And unconditionality.

They teach us about the life-sustaining power of snacks and naps.

Moms model behaviors for us to follow.

They flag all of our bad behaviors, in case we didn’t know.

Moms teach us how to cook and clean, to launder and shop.

They teach us to give. And to forgive.

They teach us to sacrifice, without harming sheep.

Moms are superheroes who can save you with a hug. Or a smile. Or a strong right arm across your chest when they are driving and suddenly have to brake really hard.

Moms teach us about growing and changing. And that there are many layers, phases and chapters to life.

They teach us that everything will be alright in the end. And if it is not alright, it’s not the end.

Moms give us roots. Moms give us wings.

Moms teach us to pray. And that there is a bigger force out there. Bigger than Mom. Much bigger than Dad.

And Moms teach us how to become Moms and Dads and raise good children of our own.

Thank you, Moms. You are appreciated.

*If you know a Mom who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

You won’t know if you’ve made the right decision until the very end.

I share a pair of season tickets to the Milwaukee Bucks with a group of other guys. At the start of each season, we rank our games in priority order so that we can each see one of the games we would like to see most. This year, my number-one-ranked game was against the Golden State Warriors. I have never seen Steph Curry play live. Finally, this was my year. Because when the games were handed out, I got the tickets to the Golden State game. It was a swish come true.

My family and I are always looking for fun experiences and adventures. Like the Bucks games. So over the holiday break, my wife Dawn found another cool experience for us to enjoy. It was a torchlit snowshoe hike through a park in rural Wisconsin. I loved the idea of it. We have done similar outings while cross-country skiing. And far from being tiki-torcherous, these outings are magical. So I was all in.

However, the snowshoe hike was a leap of faith. Because when we registered for it, there was no snow on the ground. None. Not a flake. It was kinda like the movie White Christmas. But me and my Rosemary Clooney had faith. So we registered and paid our fee anyway. Because in the forecast it looked as if we were likely to get significant snowfall over the following 10 days.

But in the middle of last week, I discovered a problem. The Golden State Warriors game and the hike were on the same Saturday night. Which is like a plot twist in a sitcom. I thought about my options like any good Dad in a good sitcom would do. I thought about leaving the hike early. I thought about sending Dawn and the kids on the hike while I went to the game with one of my guy friends, like Kramer or George.

Finally, I decided that as much as I wanted to see Stef Curry play, this was the last year that my family of 5 would be together before my 18-year-old daughter Ava leaves for college. So in my Good Luck, Charlie moment, I prioritized the family snowshoe outing.

I decided to see if I could trade my Bucks tickets with someone else in my group. Our group’s Ticketmaster, Darren Fisher, helped me swap my tix for a future game to be determined later. I was bummed to transfer the tickets away. But I want to prioritize family time. (I also want Ticketmaster to not sue me for using the name Ticketmaseter without express written consent.)

Then came the snow. We got all the snow that was predicted and more. We got pounded with nearly 2 feet of snow in 5 days. The conditions were perfect for snowshoeing. That is, until they became too perfect. It seems that the amount of snow, plus wind and cold temperatures messed up the prep for the event. So Friday night we were notified that the event had been postponed to the following weekend.

This meant that I gave up my tickets for nothing. A classic sitcom plot twist. Newman...

So on Saturday afternoon, with no Bucks tickets and no snowshoe hike, I took Ava and my son Johann to our local high school boys’ basketball game. Steph Curry didn’t play in that game. Then I took my sons Johann (16) and Magnus (13) to our health club to work out. Again no, Steph.

When we got home from the club we ate dinner and turned on the Bucks-Warriors Game. If I couldn’t be there in person, I could still watch the game on TV. That’s when the final plot twist of my real-life sitcom was revealed. Steph Curry wasn’t playing. He was taking a scheduled rest day as part of what the NBA calls ‘load management.’

Key Takeaway

Life is full of difficult decisions. This is true in our careers and in our personal lives. Make the best decision you can in the moment, with the information you have at the time. Sometimes you’ll get it right. Sometimes you’ll get it wrong. When you are right, give yourself credit for your good call. When you get it wrong, enjoy a good laugh. And know that you’ve got yourself another good story.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Here’s my favorite kind of table for my favorite kind of gatherings.

When my family and I lived in Atlanta we bought a new patio table. There were a crazy number of options to choose from for something as simple as a table. Because for a table to properly perform its job it simply has to have a flat top and reliable steadiness, so the meatballs don’t roll onto your lap.

We decided on a 5-foot round table with a lazy Susan built into the middle. (Although I like to spin the center as fast as I can, so it’s more like a crazy Susan.) It was the first round table my wife Dawn and I ever bought. And it was the best furniture decision we ever made. In fact, we love that round table so much that we recently replaced our kitchen table with a new round stone-top table. (Perfect for serving stone-top stuffing.)

I have a family of five. And the round table is ideal for our family. We gather around the table and it feels like a huddle. Like a true meeting of equals. There is no head of the table. No bad or lesser seat. Eye contact is easy. And conversation flows most naturally around and across a round table. That’s why they are preferred by knights.

Key Takeaway

Remember the power of the round table. There are no lesser seats. You sit next to, or across from everyone. It is great for families. It is perfect for social gatherings. And it is a powerful setting for professional meetings. Because the round table offers a microcosm of equality and inclusion, by placing everyone on equal seating.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why I completely changed my mind on a very important decision.

I never wanted a dog. I didn’t have one as a child. And there were a variety of factors that discouraged me from wanting one as an adult. The Big 5 for me were:

  1. The expense of dog ownership
  2. The damage a dog would do to my home and my slippers.
  3. The added work and responsibility of caring for a dog, given that I didn’t have enough time for the 4 other humans in my home.
  4. The cramp a dog would put on my personal freedom, especially related to travel, and staying inside on cold January mornings in Wisconsin. Woof.
  5. My wife and kids already provided my recommended daily allowance of cuteness.

Yet despite my well-founded reasons for not wanting a dog, my kids wanted a dog. And my wife wanted a dog. That didn’t matter to me. My reasons were better than theirs, which included things like, it will be fun. And, they are so cute.

Getting a dog was a non-negotiable issue for me. Despite all the negotiating my family brought to the non-bargaining table.

Until One Day…

However, 3 years ago I changed my mind. All of my reasons for not wanting a dog were still valid. But new information entered the decision.

One day, while reflecting on my life, I recognized how much my wife had supported my choices to help me live my ideal life. She didn’t flinch when I told her I wanted to become an entrepreneur and launch The Weaponry, the advertising and ideas agency I founded in 2016. She supported the additional work and isolation required when I wanted to start writing books. She supported the additional time and attention needed away from our home when I decided to coach my children in youth football and high school track and field.

In recognizing that my wife and family were supportive of the inconveniences that came with me living my ideal life, I recognized that in their ideal lives, they owned a dog.

We had room for a dog. We could afford a dog. And there were 4 other humans in my home that were willing to care for said imaginary dog. Yet I was preventing my wife and kids from having the life experience they all wanted.

So I changed my mind on something I never thought I would. Not for me. But because it was so important to them.

So in the winter of 2022, after much research and online shopping, we drove to South Carolina on a weekend, picked up an 8-week-old Border Collie named Strawberry, who we renamed Amicalola, and now call Lola for short. And we became a family of 6.

Today, with a year and a half of experience, the benefits of having a dog in our home are obvious. It has changed our family dynamic, mostly for the better. The rest of the family really does a lot to take care of her. And Lola loves me. Because Lola loves everyone. And she didn’t know that I didn’t want her in the first place

Key Takeaway

Don’t be afraid to change your mind. Changing your mind is a great sign of growth, learning and increased intelligence. Your decisions and opinions are made with the information you have at any given time. More information should alter your perspective. And eventually, that information may even change your vote.

We all make difficult decisions by sorting through a complex set of contrasting dilemmas. Whether you are weighing gun legislation, abortion rights, or whether or not to add a pet to your household. These are never black-and-white issues. They are grey issues because there are valid points both for and against both sides of every issue. The more you know about life the more you will adjust your view on most issues. Even if you don’t change your final vote, it will change your perspective and appreciation for a differing opinion. That’s a sign of increased intelligence.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why it’s smart to think about your relationships like fires.

Do you know how to start a fire? Can you use the materials around you to build a useful fire to keep you warm or cook your food? I’m not talking about a Tom Hanks Castaway fire. You can use a match, a Zippo or a lantern and Mrs. O’Leary’s cow if you like. Even Billy Joel knows how to start that kind of fire.

Social fire.

Starting a relationship works just like starting a fire. You first create a little spark. Typically with a question or a comment to another person. Where are you from? Which kid is yours? Do you have any Grey Poupon? Or, you got your chocolate in my peanut butter.

That little spark is all you need to start a small social fire. From there, the valuable skill is to add more fuel to the fire. Ask bigger and deeper questions. This is like adding bigger sticks and logs to the fire. They provide more fuel. More heat. More light. Through this process of feeding the flames with your questions, comments, and conversation, you create your relationships. (My Grampy also used diesel fuel, and sometimes car tires to create his fires. Which today would be a good way to start a relationship with the EPA.)

The fire analogy is also useful because if you stop asking questions, stop reaching out, stop getting together, stop texting, calling, or DMing, the fire goes out. This holds true for personal, professional, romantic, and familial relationships. Zzzppp.

How Are Your Fires?

Are you maintaining your fires? Are you tending to and adding to your relationships? Or didn’t you realize you needed to?

It is okay to let some fires die. It’s fair to stop feeding social fires that require too much work to maintain. Especially when they don’t provide enough heat. And when you can’t find more sticks to throw on the fading embers. In that case, let it go, Elsa.

Spend your time feeding the fires that provide great light. The fires that are warm and nice to sit by. Feed the social fires when others are feeding them too. Keep those flames dancing to the end.

Key Takeaway

Relationships are like fires. They need a spark to start. Then they need a regular influx of fuel to burn warm and bright. Recognize which social fires are hard to maintain, and give them less fuel. Or let them go out. Feed the best fires. The ones that kick off the most heat, the best light and the least smoke. Fuel the fires that are the most enjoyable to sit next to. Those are the greatest inventions in human history. Just ask any caveman.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why I changed the dedication in my book at the last minute.

In December of 2021, I accomplished a long-term goal when I published my first book. The book, titled What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? is a collection of 80 important life lessons the universe has shared with me. And because the great lessons of life are typically dispensed after enjoying some egg foo young and chop suey, the book title was obvious.

Surprisingly, one of the more challenging aspects of writing the book was deciding who to dedicate the book to. I’m sure that doesn’t seem that hard. Especially when compared to say, writing the rest of a 290-page book. But it was.

The Reasons:

First, I didn’t know how good the first book would be. After all, the first pancake on the griddle always turns out a little funky. So I didn’t want to dedicate a subpar book to someone really important to me. Although, I wouldn’t dedicate any book to someone unimportant to me. Hence the conundrum.

Second, from the beginning, I planned to write several books. So ultimately there should be several different dedications. Pairing each book with the proper dedicatee complicates things.

Finally, I wanted a simple, focused dedication. Not a long list of everyone I could ever thank. I would save that for the acknowledgements section in the back of the book. And for when I win an academy award.

Despite the challenges, I initially wrote a dedication that I liked. But late in the process, I altered the dedication several times. Which included both who I dedicated the book to, and what I wrote to them.

9 months after publishing the fortune cookie bookie I had more or less forgotten about the dedication dilemma. That is until this week.

A couple of days ago I opened the original digital layout of the book I received from my publisher, Ripples Media. The layout featured the original dedication. And while I am very happy with the final published dedication, I liked the original one too. It was playful. Yet meaningful. It featured both a pop culture reference and some humor. Which is my favorite kind of writing.

Instead of taking this dedication to the grave with me, I’d like to share it with you as a sort of deleted scene from my book.

The Published Version:

Dedication

To my children Ava, Johann, and Magnus. I hope this helps.

The Original Version:

Dedication

I’m dedicating this book to Casey Kasem. It’s a long-distance dedication.

But if I weren’t dedicating this to Casey Kasem (which I am), I would dedicate this to my grandfathers, Alton Archibald Albrecht and Kenneth Adam Sprau. The process of preparing the eulogies for your memorial services changed my life. It made me think about what is important and what lessons I will pass down to others. (I’m not sure if I have to mention that my grandfathers have both passed away or if the eulogy part made that kinda obvious.)

Why The Change

Ultimately, the fact that my grandfathers were highly unlikely to read the book, while my kids would at least crack the cover to see if their names were in the book, inspired me to dedicate it to my offspring.

Truth be told, Ava, Johann and Magnus are the reasons I wrote the book. I wanted to pass along a collection of the best lessons I have learned to them. Because even though I can’t be with them everywhere they go in life, they can always have the book with them. Even in prison. And as the book came together I could tell it was good, valuable, and something I could be very proud of dedicating to my children.

Key Takeaway

When you write a book, make it great, and dedicate it to people who may actually read your book. Who knows, it may inspire them to empty the dishwasher. At least that’s the dream.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

10 things Dads should teach their kids to love.

Over the past 16 years, I have learned a lot about what it takes to be a good Dad. Most of what I now know I have learned by making mistakes. Like the time I dropped my 6-month-old over a railing at the Zoo. I knew I had made a mistake when everyone around me started screaming. #truestory

One of the things I’ve learned is that to be a good father you should spend more time with your kids than writing blog posts on Father’s Day. So let’s get right to the list.

10 things Dads should teach their kids to love.

  1. Books

Collect Books. Read to your kids. Let them see you reading. Dads who read books keep getting smarter, more creative and more capable. It’s a great way to teach kids to fill their free time with something positive. I recommend the books with more words than pictures, but do what you have to do.

2. Alarm Clocks

Love your alarm clock. Set it every day. Let your kids know that the alarm clock helps you get the most out of every day. Let them see you get up and get productive in the morning. It will teach them to find gold in those golden morning hours.

3. Their Mom

The greatest gift a Dad can give his kids is to love their Mom. Treat her with respect and kindness, even if you are no longer together. If you are still together gross your kids out with how much you love their Mom. It’s like forcing them to eat really healthy food that they think is icky, but is really good for them.

4. Travel

Show your kids the world. Roadtrips. Camping trips. Trips to the store. Sunday drives. Overseas trips. They all count. Show your kids new places and it will spark new ideas, new understanding, and a new appetite to see even more.

5. Hard Work

Teach your kids how hard work leads to great results. Show them that there is no elevator to the top. You have to take the stairs. And if they see you taking the stairs 2 or 3 steps at a time they will too.

6. Encouragement

Kids who receive encouragement encourage others too. It’s one of the best ways you can improve the world through your children. You can do it. I know you can!

7. Saving Money

A kid doesn’t need a role model to know how to spend money. But as a Dad, you can teach them the critically important value of saving. Teach them to accumulate money by always saving part of what they earn. So like 50 Cent, they can watch the money pile up. And as the money piles up so do your options and your peace of mind.

Bonus: Read Rich Dad. Poor Dad. to your kids. I have read that book to each of my kids. It’s the best way to teach them about money.

8. Laughter

The world is full of funny stuff. Enjoy it. Laugh loud and often. Teach your kids to laugh at all that goes wrong. It is the best medicine. And while it may be addicting, it doesn’t cause constipation.

9. Donating

Teach your kids to love donating to causes they care about. Show them how to give without expectations of a return. There are endless ways to give. Share your time, talents and treasure. Or, if you are like my Dad, give blood as often as they will let you. That stuff is more valuable than gold to a fellow human in need.

10. Friendship

Be a good friend to your friends. Collect and maintain as many great friendships as you can. Let your kids see you connect and share love with others outside your family. It will teach them to connect and extend their love too.

Happy Father’s Day!

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my new book What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. It makes a great belated Father’s Day gift. Or a great be-earlied Father’s Day gift for next year.