Category: personal growth

Embrace the difficult things in life. They make you stronger.

I face challenges every day. Big ones. Small ones. New ones. And ones I have seen a thousand times before. As an entrepreneur, I’ve signed up for a life of challenges. As a parent, I’ve committed to helping 3 other humans work through their challenges too. I often feel like a contestant on American Ninja Warrior: Work & Home Edition. But I enjoy hard things. I find great value in the difficulties.

When life throws challenges my way I embrace them because I learn from them. I get better. I discover more about myself and my character. I develop more skills. I realize how capable I really am. #AintNothingGonnaBreakMyStride

The challenges of life are like the challenges of sports. Or video games. They are forms of competition. They are there to test you. To force you to think, learn, strategize and grow. Challenges force you to add tools to your toolbox, plays to your playbook, and tricks to your bag of tricks.

Triumphing over your personal and professional challenges is a rewarding part of the human experience. The more challenges you face the more you feel like you have faced the same type of challenge before. Which means you face each new obstacle with a greater sense of confidence that you can handle it. Because you can, Toucan!

In their training, the military special forces go through some of the most difficult challenges that humans will ever face. But those very challenges also provide the tools and confidence to overcome anything they face later. Both in the military and while shopping at the mall.

The challenges of life are not to be avoided. Or lamented. They are what make life interesting. They are the primary source of self-improvement. They teach you and make you stronger.

To accelerate your growth you can also read about the challenges that others have faced, and how they learned and improved through them. It is why reading is so valuable. It allows you to learn vicariously through the challenges of others without losing a battle, a war, or a limb. Because you can only lose so many limbs of your own.

Key Takeaway

Life challenges help you learn and grow. Each one leaves you better equipped to face the next. Each one adds to your skills, experience and understanding. It is a critical part of the evolutionary process. And it strengthens us both as individuals and as a species. You grow. You adapt. You thrive. And you are better prepared to face whatever comes next.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my new book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The very best way to respond to someone who disagrees with you.

I was recently in a meeting where I had a difference of opinion with one of my clients. So after he was done sharing his view, I threw my challenge flag. Then I realized we were not in an NFL game. So I had to actually say the words, ‘I challenge that perspective.’ Afterwhich, I introduced my perspective.

Then, like an episode of Seinfeld, or Murder She Wrote, the plot thickened.

Someone else in the room announced that he challenged my challenge. Which left me in a challenging position.

I had 2 options.

  1. I could explain myself further to ensure that everyone clearly understood my perspective.
  2. I could seek understanding of my challenger’s perspective.

(Ironically, I drove a rented Dodge Challenger to the meeting, which may have kicked off all of the challenges.)

I chose door number 2.

When there is a difference of opinions, the win is not to make sure everyone else knows why you think what you think. The win is to learn, understand and gain greater insight from the perspective of others.

Rather than digging in and repeating your perspective try one of these magical comeback lines:

  1. Why do you think that?
  2. Please explain.
  3. How did you come to that conclusion?
  4. Tell me more.
  5. Who’s zooming who?

Key Takeaway

Seeking understanding doesn’t mean you have to change your mind. It doesn’t mean that one of you is right and the other is wrong. It simply means that you are keeping your mind open to learning about how others think. You get to understand the facts that others have collected and how they have processed those facts into conclusions. This will help you make better decisions in the future. And it will help you gain the respect of others. Because when you show someone else that you respect them and their thinking process they will often do the same for you.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my new book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why the computer in your head is your greatest asset.

In 2006 Apple began running a popular ad campaign called Mac Vs PC. In the campaign, the 2 computers were personified and represented by 2 very different spokespeople.

The Mac dude was an easy-going, fairly hip cat who always seemed to know things. The PC guy was nerdy, out of touch, and always seemed less ready for the world. The 2 guys were clearly supposed to represent Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, only without the telltale money coming out of their wazoos.

Watching the commercials felt like you were being forced to choosing which team captain you were going to join for a game of Red Rover, nerd style.

But the idea that there are just 2 different types of computers is a gross oversimplification. The truth is that there are as many different computers as there are humans on the planet.

Your Personal Computer

We all run on the personal computers in our heads. Yours is unlike any other. It has different hardware. It operates different software. It arrives at different calculations and conclusions based on different inputs, filters, and if-then statements.

Your machine also has its own bugs. And its own glitches. Which are affected by how many windows are open, how long it has been since you rebooted, and that soda pop you spilled on the keyboard.

The computer in your head has rare and valuable capabilities. It can produce outputs that no other computer on Earth can. Never forget that. And never underestimate the power that your unique thinking has on the world around you.

Key Takeaway

We all think differently and process the world differently, thanks to the personal computers in our heads. Take good care of yours. Appreciate it. Upgrade it as you are able. Respect the conclusions of others. They are processing the world differently than you are. It’s all part of the master design. And we all benefit from the diversity of thought.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my new book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

5 Keys To A Great Life.

This summer my family and I took an amazing vacation to the west coast. We visited Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Bryce Canyon, The Grand Canyon, and Zion National Park. Along the way, we packed in a lot of surfing, hiking, and In-N-Out Burger.

There was also a lot of togetherness. In fact, the togetherness is my favorite part of family vacations. I love having my family of 5 together in the car, at the hotel, at meals, and throughout our activities for a week. It’s one of the perks of taking your kids far from home when they have no money. They are happy to stay close so that they can eat.

The togetherness results in a lot of conversation. This morning I found a list I wrote of 5 Keys to a great life that I shared with my family during a conversation in L.A. The list was written on the notepad from the Loews hotel in Santa Monica. And just being able to bring my family to that beautiful beachfront hotel felt like I was winning at life. (This paragraph has been brought to you by the Loews Hotel in Santa Monica. Where families can enjoy togetherness, beach access and notepads.)

Here is the list.

5 keys To A Great Life.

  1. Dream Big Dreams: The size of your life is determined by the size of your dreams. It’s the same phenomenon that links the size of a goldfish* to the size of its fishbowl. So think big. Dream big. Do big. *This is true of real goldfish. But not the delicious snack crackers, which come in only one size.

2. Take Risks: Don’t be afraid to take risks. Risks are the gateway to rewards. Take chances. Learn to be comfortable with uncertainty. You’ll figure things out along the way. Bet on yourself. Because you have the ability to stack the odds in your favor through determination and hard work.

3. Develop Rare and Valuable Skills: Become really great at something special. The journey is extremely rewarding. The process of self-improvement is empowering. The better you get at a skill the more passionate you become. The world will reward you with opportunities that are not available to those without those skillz. Which will enable you to pay the billz.

4. Develop and Maintain Strong Relationships At the end of our days the only thing that will really matter is the impact we have on each other. Prioritize your human connections. Develop as many relationships as you can. Maintain them over time. Those connections will reward you in more ways than you could possibly count. Unless your rare and valuable skill is counting.

5. Become Self-Reliant: The greatest gift you can give yourself is self-reliance. Become a resourceful problem-solver. Learn to make your own money, cook, and change a tire. Self-reliance builds confidence. Both are attractive to others. The more you can handle on your own the more control you have over your life. This is the basic theme of every song by Destiny’s Child.

Key Takeaway

Dream big. Develop your skills. Invest in your relationships. And learn to count on yourself. Those basic steps make it easy to take risks because you know things will turn out well. After all, you’re going to make it happen.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my new book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The important life lesson I learned as a young driver in Vermont.

I grew up in Vermont. Which is one of the most beautiful places on Earth. The rolling Green Mountains of Vermont are heavenly. It’s where snow, maple syrup, and Ben & Jerry’s were born. I am always homesick for Vermont in the fall when the leaves perform their grand finale and the landscape explodes with color. It’s why leaf peepers flock to Vermont every fall. What? You’ve never heard of leaf peepers? Ask Larry, Darrell, and Darrell.

Vermont Driving

Vermont is still my favorite place to drive. You are greeted by one amazing view after another. You find yourself wowing a lot. At the bigness, the smallness, the coziness, the quaintness. Vermont is a very simple place that remains largely undeveloped and unpolluted by man-made sights and sounds. Which is why it is recognized as the least polluted state in America. (To be fair, there aren’t a lot of people there to do the polluting.)

When I turned 16 and started driving the quiet, winding country roads of Vermont, I was amazed by the beautiful and everchanging views through the windshield. However, I also discovered something surprising that I never noticed as a passenger.

The best views were often seen in the rearview mirror.

After I discovered this visual secret I found myself frequently checking the rearview in my old Ford Escort, my Mom’s VW Jetta, or my Dad’s Saab 900. I found that the rearview magic could be found in every make and model of car I tested.

Over the past few decades, I have learned that life is like Vermont. Both are full of beauty. And if you are doing life right, there is more beauty behind you every day. So don’t forget to reflect. On your life. On your career. On your successes. And on your growth. Because no matter what’s in front of you, you can always find an inspiring view behind you.

Key Takeaway

Check your personal rearview mirror regularly. Your memories, experiences, and successes of the past are beautiful things. They are reminders of life fully realized. Your personal rearview mirror will show you how wonderful life can be. It will remind you how great you can feel. It will teach you how much you can accomplish. It will reveal the positive impact others have had on you. And it will remind you of the positive influence you can have on others.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my new book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

When your mind and body wrestle who wins?

The human is the most fascinating of all machines. It is a walking, talking, taco-eating miracle made of 2 distinct parts.

First, there is the physical part. The body. It’s the part of the human that we can see and touch. (With consent.) It is the most obvious part. But it is also the least interesting.

The second part of the human is the mind. This is where the thinking takes place. This is where humans are most interesting and differentiated. If you think people look different on the outside, you would be shocked by how different people’s minds operate. For proof, see the new Netflix series Dahmer. (Or just take my word for it and you will sleep better tonight.)

For better or worse, your mind and body are married for life. Like Thunder and Lightening, Brooks and Dunn, or Mike & Ikes. Your life is a result of how well your mind and body work together.

The key to the mind-body collaboration is who is in control. Because both highly successful people and highly unsuccessful people know what they should do. The difference is that successful people do what they know they should and unsuccessful people don’t.

The Question

Who is in control, your mind or your body?

Who determines if you get out of bed or hit the snooze button?

Who determines if you thumb through your phone or work on that important project?

Who determined whether you exercise?

Or eat the way you know you should?

Or take any action at all?

If your mind is not telling your body what to do, your body is in control.

Mind Your Mind.

Your mind knows your goals and vision. It knows what needs to happen to get there. Your body doesn’t have goals beyond rest, food, pleasure, and safety. So if your mind has goals that expand beyond those 4 areas, it has to be in charge, or you will never achieve your goals. Unless your goal is to be featured on My 600-Pound Life.

When you experience moments of weakness or laziness, recognize that you are experiencing a battle for control between your mind and body. If your body wins, you lose. But if your mind is in control, and can make your body do what it needs to do, there is no limit to what you can achieve.

Key Takeaway

The key to long-term success, accomplishment and happiness is that your mind must be in control. Your thinking, planning and visioning must lead to the right actions. It is not enough to think and know. Accomplishment and progress come through doing. So provide your body with the fuel and sleep it needs. Then let your mind take over to accomplish the rest.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my new book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to tap into the amazing superpower you were born with.

When I was a kid I loved watching Saturday morning cartoons. Especially cartoons about superheroes. One of the defining characteristics of a superhero is their signature superpower. Like super strength, super stretchiness, super spideriness or super soup-making abilities.

But all humans have an innate superpower that enables them to transform into an amazingly powerful human. That superpower is your ability to evolve.

This is not the type of evolution that a species experiences over a series of generations. Like when humans lost their tails. Or the way texting is going to evolve us into a species with super pointy thumbs.

This type of super evolution is available to every human during their own lifetime. Which means that you have the ability to dramatically transform yourself. No phone booth or super suit required.

You can transform yourself physically, through exercise and significantly increase your strength, endurance, flexibility and pain tolerance.

You can transform your thinking through self-education, reading, classes, accumulated experience and knowledge.

You can transform yourself mentally, by developing your resilience, grit, and determination.

You can transform your income by learning how to provide ever-increasing value to others.

You can evolve into a more compassionate human by recognizing the evolutionary journey others are on.

You can develop tremendous courage, kindness, and creativity. As well as other positive attributes that don’t start with a C or K.

As a human, you can develop great strengths in any area of your life. Your potential is unlimited. So think like a superhero. Because you have the ability to evolve into the most amazing human you can imagine.

Key Takeaway

Your ability to evolve is your great superpower. Push yourself to grow and improve every day. Recognize that strain, pain and adversity trigger your growth. Embrace challenges that force you to adapt. They are gifts that continuously generate a better, stronger, smarter version of yourself.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my new book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why you should think like a rockstar every time you enter a room.

The Summer of 2022 marked a strong return to live concerts for me. I saw 10 significant acts perform this past summer and they all rocked. One of my favorite things about seeing a live show is that it forces you to be present. It is hard to not be in the moment when you have something loud and attention-grabbing in your face. Especially when there is a chance that you will see naked body parts at any moment. #MotleyCrue

But concerts aren’t just about listening to music. They present an excellent opportunity to learn. Because concerts offer a masterclass on performance, entertainment, and creativity. Concerts also remind you that people lose their minds when you mention the name of their city or state. #NobodyRocksLike…

Motley Crue at Fenway

The Concert Reminder

When I go to concerts I’m always reminded to be a rockstar. The world loves people who go big and different. We love people who inspire and energize. We love people who break outsides the standard guardrails of normality. While the majority of humans spend their time and effort trying to fit in, we celebrate those who bust out.

To make a rockstar impression on others ask yourself the following questions:

  1. How can I be a rockstar in my world?
  2. How can I light up a room?
  3. How can I go bigger?
  4. How can I put more into my performance?
  5. How can I offer more energy?
  6. How can I deliver more wow?
  7. How can I serve up more surprises?
  8. How can I be more entertaining?
  9. How can I inspire others?
  10. How can I move people?
  11. How can I trash hotel rooms without it negatively affecting my loyalty program status? (Asking for a friend.)

Key Takeaway

Find your rockstar style. Make minds sparkle. Make people light up from your bright energy, skills, and abilities. Rock their world with your ideas. Your passion. Your daring. Inspire others. And continue to define and refine your style every day.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my new book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Spend quality time with people who know things you don’t.

From the moment you were born you were programmed to grow stronger and smarter every day. Which is why you don’t come out of the womb with a driver’s license and a scalpel.

One of the most important ways you become a stronger, more capable machine is by simply interacting with other people. In fact, you learn more from other humans than from any other source. Even if you have a killer set of encyclopedias.

When you engage with humans they add:

  • Knowledge
  • Skills
  • Insights
  • Perspective
  • Confidence
  • Connections
  • Resources
  • Joy
  • Entertainment
  • Ideas
  • Tools
  • Support
  • Kindness
  • Happiness
  • Inspiration
  • Motivation
  • Charcuterie (Definitely spend more time with anyone who offers a solid spread.)

Key Takeaway

Seek out human interaction. When you spend time with people who are ahead of you on your development journey they naturally pull you forward. Make sure to share with others too. You have gifts and knowledge that offer great value to those around you. And everyone improves in the process.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my new book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The best first step to take to be highly successful.

Last week I was a guest on the ContenderCast Podcast with host Justin Honaman, Justin interviewed me about entrepreneurship, and the things I have learned by launching and running the advertising and idea agency, The Weaponry. We discussed lessons from my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? And we talked about his transition from Diet Coke to Coke Zero. (This paragraph has been brought to you by Coke Zero.)

I can’t wait for the podcast episode to drop. I expect it will change my life the way Sara Blakely’s life changed when she went on the Oprah Winfrey show. So don’t be surprised if the world starts wearing my undergarments too.

Advice

One of the great questions Justin asked me was, ‘What advice do you have for other people who want to start their own businesses?’

My answer was clear and instant:

Spend time with people who have already done it.

But that advice is not specifically for want-to-be entrepreneurs. Or wantrepreneurs.

It is the best advice I can share about any type of success and achievement.

The best way to achieve a massive goal is to spend time with people who have already done what you want to do.

When you spend time with superstars their mindset rubs off on you. Unlike tickets on the Polar Express, their mindset is transferrable.

Spending time with high achievers is like going to a Success Optometrist. They help you see success in much greater detail. You see the actions they take, the mindset they have adopted, and the relationships they develop and maintain.

When you see those things up close you realize that you can do all of those things too. Suddenly, your belief in what is possible expands. Your risk tolerance increases. Your view of money transforms. And your excuses fade away.

There is an intelligence that increases with increasing levels of success. It can appear mysterious or unattainable from a distance. But once you have a front-row seat to higher levels of success, it demystifies the process. It’s like seeing how magic tricks are actually performed. You quickly realize there is no magic. There are simply skills developed, practiced, and perfected until it looks like magic.

Key Takeaway

Seek out successful people. Step into their orbit and let their positive peer pressure propel you. Notice the way they act, read, and think. Modify their approaches to your needs and style. Soak up the education and inspiration. It will change your life like nothing else can. Because when you are close to those who model the behavior you want to see in yourself you can’t help but replicate it. It’s like a language immersion program. Only the language is success. Soon you’ll notice others who want to get close to you and learn how you do what you do. That’s when you know it works.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my new book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.