Tag: life lessons

12 important life lessons for new graduates.

It’s graduation season! Students across the country are thrilled to finally be done with classes, done with books and done with teachers’ dirty looks. But what they will soon find out is that the real life lessons start now. Because suddenly your life becomes one big multiple-choice test. And if you thought you were done with all that writing, here comes the big surprise:

Now you have to write the story of your own life!

Looking back, I can see that I have learned far more since graduating from Hanover High School in Hanover, New Hampshire and The University of Wisconsin than I did in school. In fact, I read more now than I did in school. I ask more questions. I study people and events. I analyze cause and effect. And I know far more now than I did when I thought I knew it all. (Which may also be lyrics to a country song.)

If you are a new graduate, congratulations! Welcome to the club! Here are a few things that will help you in your exciting next chapter of life. They have been a huge help for me. Which is why I shared them in my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say?

12 Important Life Lessons For New Graduates.

  1. Kickstart your day with a smile. The first thing you should do every day, while still lying in bed, is put a big smile on your face. Science has proven that not only do we smile when we feel good, we actually feel good when we smile. Smiling is the easiest positive thing you’ll do all day. Yet it has the power to propel and protect you until you crawl back into bed at night. (So, if you haven’t smiled yet today, do it now, brown cow.)

2. Fill your attitude with helium. Life is unpredictable. One moment you feel like you are on top of the world. the next moment you feel like the world is on top of you. But a helium attitude rises anyway. Don’t let setbacks, curveballs, and negative people drag you down. Do what helium does, and just keep rising. Your attitude is everything in life. Make sure you fill it with the right fuel. (And if you ever need a good laugh, suck in some real helium and say ‘Luke, I am your Father.’)

3. Your Success Is Directly Related to Your Contribution. Success is easy to understand. If you want more, contribute more. If you want to earn more money, add more value. If you want more social capital, add more value. If you want more political capital, add more value. It is the value you bring to the world that determines what the world offers you in return, Jedi.

4. The best way to live a great life is to start at the end. By viewing your life from the end you can clearly see what you could have done and what you should have done. Do this now, while you can do something about it. And you will be able to turn your life into an epic story as big as your imagination. (And go to funerals. They will teach you more about life than death. Plus, there are always free ham sandwiches.)

5. It’s the first step that matters most. Far too many people dream about the things they want to do but never take a single step towards making it happen. Your dreams start with that first step. Take it. Make it happen. (And watch Hamilton. That dude did not throw away his shot.)

6. Let envy be your guide. Don’t get fooled into thinking envy is a deadly sin and try to squash it. Envy offers insight. Note the things you envy and truly want and add them to your life list. Then create a plan to make them yours. And get to work. (Sloth, however, is a deadly sin. Don’t mess with sloths, Sid.)

7. Nothing will happen unless you make it so. JFK said, ‘Things do not happen. They are made to happen.’ Remember that action is everything. It is the difference between dreaming and doing. If you want something to happen you have to force it and will it to happen through your vision, action, and energy. This wisdom applies to friendship, entrepreneurship, and every other ship in between.

8. Always bet on yourself. Don’t buy lottery tickets. Don’t bet on sports or horses. Instead, bet on yourself. Bet on your ideas. But on your intuition. Bet on your determination. And on your willingness to affect the outcome. Stack the odds in your favor. It is the easiest way to mitigate risk and set yourself up for an epic payout. (And add Take A Chance On Me by ABBA to your life soundtrack. It’s a real toe-tapper.)

9. Find your Sliver Mentors. Everyone will offer you advice. But only take advice from people who are already doing what you want to do be doing. And rather than have one mentor for everything it is useful to have many mentors for slivers of your life. Learn the tips and tricks of the people who behave the way you want to behave. Don’t listen to every voice in the wind. Instead, carefully curate the advice you accept from those who offer great examples. (And keep a good tweezer around for regular slivers.)

10. Ask For What You Want. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. A closed door will often open when you show just how much you want to go inside. Remember, someone holds the key to unlock every locked door. (Don’t simply take what you want. Unless you look great in an orange jumpsuit.)

11. Constantly Upgrade Your Thinking: You may have graduated, but you are not done growing. Never stop improving yourself. You are like an iPhone. You should constantly be creating better versions of yourself. Each one is smarter, stronger and more capable than the one before. (And now that you will start paying for your own phone you’ll want to put a screen shield and protective case on that thang. Because phones are freak’n expensive.)

12. Don’t Build A Network. Build Friendships. Throughout your career, people will tell you that you should network. This essentially means you should meet people who can help further your career. This is bad advice. Don’t network. Instead, befriend as many people as you can. Prioritize developing genuine relationships. When you make great friends you will have a great network. Because when you make people the most important thing in your life, everything else magically falls into place. (And keep eating Lucky Charms. They’re magically delicious.)

Key Takeaway:

Commit to a lifetime of learning and growing. Get a little better every day. Read. Think. Make friends. Find people who can teach you. And always bet on yourself. The best is yet to come. But it’s up to you to make it happen.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+If a $16 graduation gift fits into your budget, consider grabbing a copy of What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? for yourself or the graduate in your life. You’ll get 70 more important life lessons.

Why it’s so valuable to think about who will show up for your funeral.

I am a big believer in beliefs. I like a good framework to guide my actions and behaviors. And as I wrap up the last few weeks of my 40s, I have been planning for a great new decade ahead. Heck, AARP has already invited me to the party.

I am wiser than I have ever been. The important things in life keep getting clearer. That’s why I approach my next decade with a new funeral mindset.

In this mindset, I regularly imagine the sanctuary where my bon voyage service will be held. No sound. So commentary. Just the attendance.

I am focused on who and how many people will show up. And who will shake the pews for me. (I come from a family of pew shakers who laugh silently at everything we find funny in church.)

I have always been concerned that I wouldn’t have many people show up for my last shindig. It’s a healthy concern about what happens if you do the wrong things in life. When I was in college Jeffrey Dahmer’s funeral was at my church in Madison, Wisconsin. I planned to go because I thought that would have been an interesting life experience. And it would have been. But I had a class at that time and decided not to skip it. I read in the paper that only 26 people attended the service. I expect most of them were there to confirm he was really dead. And to finish the job if he wasn’t.

Dahmer did bad things that left him with a lonely funeral.

I want to live each day in the opposite way. Which means collecting as many friends as possible. Maintaining and strengthening my relationships with my friends, and family. Conducting business in a fair and honorable way. And having a strong positive impact on my communities. I want to have a positive impact on people in both my innermost circle and my outermost rings of influence. And I want to remember not to eat anyone.

I want to be known as a listener. And as someone who shows up to help. I want to be known as a friend. I want to be enjoyable to be around. I want to share my time and knowledge with other people to have a positive impact on their lives. If I do all those things, at the end of it all, I hope people will dress up and come shake a pew with me for an hour. But just to be safe, I’m going to insist on serving delicious ham sandwiches afterward. And maybe free beer.

Key Takeaway

Always keep your funeral attendance in mind. Live in a way that will pack that house with those you have positively impacted. Put effort and care into your relationships. Build bridges. Mend fences. Share your gifts and lessons. Create great memories. And set a strong example for others to follow. Be a positive force in your communities. And the community will show up to confirm your contribution.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Do you know the most valuable asset you will ever accumulate?

I just got back from a spring break vacation with my family. We were in Florida for a week. The weather was in the 70s. The Gulf of Mexico was blue and beautiful. Which is why my sons tried to sneak half of the gulf home with us in a saturated Nerf football.

Vacations serve as a great reminder that there are 2 ways to create tremendous wealth. At least there are 2 ways that won’t land you in an orange jumpsuit with a lifetime supply of gruel.

The first way we create wealth is through our careers. The money we earn, save and invest through our hard work creates both wealth and financial freedom. Which is good. Keep doing this.

The second way that we create wealth is through the accumulation of good memories. These memories are the result of our life experiences and enjoyable interactions with others.

While having money is good, it is mostly good because you can invest it in creating more memories. And memories compound in value every time you revisit them. You profit from them each time you reminisce, like Mary J. Blige. You profit from them each time you look at your photographs, like Nickleback, Ed Sheeran, or Def Leppard. And you profit each time you talk about your fun, funny or heartwarming stories with your friends and family. Do this as often as you can.

Key Takeaway

Your memories are the most valuable possessions you will ever own. Invest in creating more of them. Collect as many as you can. Spend time thinking and talking about your memories and you will become wealthier and wealthier in the most important way. The older you get the less you will be able to use the money you have saved. But your memories will rise in value all the way to the end. Because your collection of memories is your life. Never forget that.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The important event happening today that most people won’t see.

There is a cute story about 2 young fish who are just hanging out when an older fish swims past. The older fish says to the younger fish, ‘Hey boys! How’s the water?’ The younger fish smile and wave. Then, after the older fish passes, the younger fish turn to each other and ask, ‘What is water?’

It is a reminder that we often miss the things that surround us. In human life, it is not the water that we miss. And it’s not really the air either. Unless you are hiking at altitude. Or have emphysema.

The thing that humans don’t recognize is life itself.

I try to remind my family and friends of this regularly. When good, fun, beautiful and interesting things happen I take a moment to say, ‘This is your life.’

It is my way of saying, enjoy this. Recognize that this moment is life. Because your life is really just a collection of moments. Some are small. Some are large. But all are valuable.

Your life is not about what is coming. It is not about your hopes and dreams. It’s not about someday when you’ll be living in a big old city with Taylor Swift.

Your life is not the destination at the end of the journey. Because, spoiler alert, the end of the journey isn’t that great. Just ask Steve Perry.

If you don’t take a moment to recognize the moments of your life, as your life, the whole experience will pass you by without you even recognizing it.

Don’t let that happen to you.

Key Takeaway

Your life is happening right now. Don’t miss it. Awareness enables you to enjoy and appreciate the great things, large and small that make up your experience. Don’t waste this gift. Don’t settle. Do the things you have always wanted to do now. There is no other time.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

A quick reminder of how fortunate you really are.

As humans, we lose perspective on just how lucky we really are on a daily basis. We think about the things that go wrong and the things we don’t have. We take all the great stuff we do have for granted. You know, things like oxygen, water, and Panera.

Here’s a little reminder that 99% of the world is nothingness. It’s just a vast empty space, called space. It’s a dark and nearly endless void between the very rare somethings.

It is a frick’n miracle that you are here, on Earth, with the best resources in the known universe. Including chocolate, Wi-Fi and Magic Erasers.

It’s time to put what you have into proper perspective. You have amazing opportunities and privileges. To complain about what you don’t have misses the point by a lightyear or two, Buzz.

Forget your FoMo. Earth is the only life-sustaining stage, show or opportunity that you could reach within your lifetime. And yet you were born here. You are one lucky dog, Dawg.

Key Takeaway

Appreciate your life. Even the smallest details. Embrace the opportunity you have been blessed with. See it for what it really is: A miracle. Enjoy it to the fullest extent allowed by law.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why you should tap into the great power of unhappiness.

Most people consider me a very happy person. I am lucky that my baseline is happier than most. I see the good in people and in situations. I find silver linings in setbacks. (I can also find a silver lining inside one of my favorite sportcoats.)

I study happiness like Tim McGraw. Because I like it. I love it. And I want more of it.

But I also embrace unhappiness. Because I have discovered that unhappiness in high enough doses leads to greater happiness.

Mild to moderate unhappiness, as they say in drug commercials, is fairly useless. It simply makes you feel bad.

But serious unhappiness is a gift. When you experience a significant level of unhappiness, whether acute or accumulated, it provides motivation for change.

Motivational unhappiness comes in several flavors, including sadness, frustration, anger, and disappointment. (But not dat-appointment.) You can use any of these forces to your benefit.

So when you feel unhappiness, don’t just feel sorry for yourself. Feel it until it fuels you to make a change. Those emotions are there to tell you to change directions. That’s why your response to unhappiness can save any day. And it can change your entire life for the better.

Key Takeaway

Happiness is the ultimate goal. But sometimes the path to happiness runs directly through unhappiness. Because in great enough doses, it provides the motivation you need to move forward. Recognize the gift. And use it to your advantage.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The antidote to your ignorance is to keep an open mind.

It is easy to believe that your perspective is right. After all, your perspective is a product of the truth as you know it. But your perspective often has shortcomings. And blind spots. Which doesn’t mean that your spots can’t see. But that you don’t see parts of reality. Like Kanye.

Blind spots come from biases. They develop when you arrive at conclusions prematurely. And just as a premature baby is fragile, a premature conclusion is the most vulnerable of perspectives. Which makes them unlikely to survive outside the conclusion NICU.

If someone challenges your perspective, listen to them. They will often offer more information, which makes you better informed. Be willing to alter your ideas, stories, and opinions when new information is introduced. Adopt a growth mindset. Seek truth and understanding. It’s the wisest choice.

Key Takeaway

Assume there are things you don’t know. Recognize that you are drawing your conclusions based on limited or biased information. The antidote to your own ignorance is openmindedness. Invite new perspectives. Listen to dissenters. They offer you valuable gifts.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Breaking News! The world is much better than you think!

Things are good. And getting better.

That is the real headline for today. And every day. Consider yourself informed.

The news media is incentivized to bring you bad news. Never forget that. Because we are far less like to tune in to the good news than the bad and the ugly. As a result, the media aggregates all the bad, alarming, and attention-getting news they can scrounge.

Politicians, lobbyists, and documentary film directors serve up negatively distorted pictures because it serves their purposes. They are selling an angle. And it’s more likely to be obtuse or acute than right. #geometry

If you stopped taking in the news you would stop hearing about every bad thing that happened in far-flung places that will never impact you. Because things are generally good in your near-flung places.

There is a common belief that the world is falling apart. It is not. It is growing and improving year after year. Children are being educated and vaccinated. Life expectancy is going up all over the planet. Technology is making lives easier and better. Vehicles are safer. Quality of life standards are going up too.

Phones no longer have cords. They have cameras, calculators, calendars and Karma Chameleon anytime you want to hear it. Plus you have social apps that enable you to connect or reconnect with every friend you have ever had. That would have seemed unbelievable 20 years ago. But this much is true.

We don’t have everything solved. But we are collecting the knowledge, tools and technology to address every challenge we face. Like Andy Grammer said, It’s good to be alive right about now.

Key Takeaway

2023 could be the best year the people on our planet have ever experienced. Yes, bad things will happen. But recognize all the good things that are happening at all levels, around the world. Do your part to continue the progress. Recognize when others have an agenda to share a negatively distorted view of the world. And turn off the news. 99% of that stuff doesn’t impact you. Life is good. Enjoy your day.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How you can get really smart by acting dumb.

In his book, My Father’s Business, Cal Turner Jr., the long-time CEO of Dollar General and the son of the company’s Founder talks about how his grandfather was one of the smartest people he ever knew. What makes this particularly interesting is that his grandfather dropped out of elementary school to help run the family farm after his dad died in a freak wrestling accident. (I’m assuming it wasn’t cauliflower ear.)

Turner goes on to say that his grandfather’s lack of formal education offered a significant advantage.

It says a great deal about Luther Turner that he was able to turn
his third-grade education into a plus. He was convinced that everyone he met was smarter than he, and that he needed to learn some thing from each of them. He became a first-rate observer, a great listener, and a dedicated student of life. What he practiced was more than empathy. It involved valuing the other person and his or her information, insight, and perspective.

– Cal Turner Jr
I was surprised to learn that Dollar General was never actually in the military.

To be clear, I’m not encouraging you to drop out of school after 3rd grade. (Very few of my readers are in the 3rd grade and under demographic.) But it’s important to recognize the danger of assuming you are the smartest person in the room. We all have blind spots which limit us. But if you remain open to the ideas of others you have the potential to become as smart as everyone you have encountered combined.

Key Takeaway

Everyone you interact with has amassed their own unique combination of knowledge and experience. Which means they have insights and perspectives you don’t have. Listen to them. Learn from them. Add their lessons to your own. The only limit to how much you can learn in life is your own curiosity and receptivity.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my new book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to have the best life possible.

I am always looking for insights and advice on how to live a great life. I look for wisdom and nuggets everywhere. I expect you share the same interest in life advice since you decided to read this article based on the best-life headline.

When I find golden lessons I like to share them with as many people as possible. In fact, I recently published an entire book full of 80 of the best life lessons I have learned titled What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? The book lets you consume a lot of actionable insight without consuming the 20 calories packed into those delightfully bland non-cookie cookies. And since there are 80 lessons, the book saves you 1600 calories. So it’s kind of a weight loss book too. (But not really.)

Another Book Recommendation

But I am not the only one who writes about the valuable life lessons they have discovered. Ray Dalio’s #1 New York Times bestselling book Principles is full of great lessons on both life and work. Plus, it is the only book I own that comes with two of those built-in bookmark ribbon thingies.

While there are many great lessons in Dalio’s book here is his simple summation of the entire work.

In order to have the best life possible, you have to:

1) know what the best decisions are and

2) have the courage to make them.

-Ray Dalio

The key insight here is that you have to constantly improve your decision-making ability and increase your courage. Which means that we are all on the Yellow Brick Road with the Scarecrow and the Lion.

Key Takeaway

Constantly upgrade your decision-making skills. Know your own guiding principles. Study the outcomes of your decisions to learn what works. And study the principles of others so that you can adopt their best thinking as your own. Then live life according to your own proven principles. They will not only lead to better decisions, but they will also lead to positive outcomes that will increase your courage to make the right difficult decisions in the future.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my new book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.