Category: self improvement

The 2 things you need to get better at anything.

You are the greatest project you will ever have. As a human being, you are the most complicated machine on Earth. Which means there is no limit to the amount of self-improvement you are capable of.

Your improvements can be highly specific. They can be physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, psychological, philosophical, or professional. But even these broad categories that all end in -al barely scratch the surface.

You can get better at signing your name, walking, selling, replacing an organ, or serving a tennis ball. You can get better at eating hot dogs. Just ask Joey Chestnut. You can get better at streaking. Just ask the dude who invited himself onto the field at Super Bowl LV. Heck, you can get better at eating hot dogs while streaking. And if you do you can probably get a sponsorship deal.

The 2 Ingredients

Regardless of what you want to do better, there are 2 key drivers of self-improvement: the things you learn and the things you do. Because you improve through a combination of knowing better and doing better.

1. The things you learn.

This is all about gaining new information. This can come in many ways.

  • Reading books, magazines, articles, and reports.
  • Watching instructional videos
  • Taking classes and courses.
  • Learning from others through discussions, conversations, observation, and spying.
  • Working with a coach or mentor
  • Experimenting
  • Experience

2. The things you do.

All the knowledge in the world does no good without action. Your actions drive results. Those actions include:

  • Effort
  • Focus
  • Commitment
  • Practice
  • Habits
  • Stamina
  • Optimization

Key Takeaway

Learn all you can. Then put that new knowledge to work through your deliberate actions. By doing so you will end each day better than you began. You are the greatest project you will ever have. And you are nowhere near finished.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this idea, please share it with them.

100 Things I love.

Happy Valentine’s Day! I have been thinking a lot about love this weekend. Love is the most powerful and most positive emotion in our collection. To make the most of your time on Earth you should spend as much time as you can doing things you love, with people love, in places you love.

The first step is to know what you really love. Today, take an hour to write down 100 things you love. Not only will it force you to think about your favorite people, places, and things, it will serve as a guide, and show you how to live a life you love.

Here’s what I came up with. Surely there are many more things that should be on this list that I didn’t come up with in my limited time this morning. (And I’ll stop calling you Shirley.)

100 Things I Love (in no particular order, except the first ones.)

  1. My wife Dawn
  2. My kids Ava, Johann and Magnus
  3. My Mama, Dad and Sisters
  4. The rest of my ginormous family.
  5. My work
  6. Sweet Tea
  7. Hammocks
  8. Cliff jumping
  9. Road tripping
  10. Vermont
  11. Fishing
  12. Glacier National Park
  13. Boogie boarding
  14. Pizza
  15. Great puns
  16. Snowmobiling
  17. Laughing
  18. Making people laugh
  19. Mountain biking
  20. A great church service
  21. Great books
  22. Weddings
  23. Shawshank Redemption
  24. Lobster
  25. Hiking in the mountains
  26. Sunrises
  27. Black olives
  28. Elkton, Minnesota
  29. Thanksgiving
  30. Stompers
  31. Playing the card game Pit
  32. Throwing the discus
  33. Cheese curds (squeaky or fried)
  34. India
  35. Winning new business
  36. Running into people I know in random places
  37. Inside jokes
  38. My best friends from high school
  39. Outside voices
  40. The fresh tortilla chips from the Whole Foods in Dublin, Ohio
  41. Sabra Field art
  42. Wisconsin Badger football games
  43. Simon Pearce Glass
  44. Needing 4 wheel drive
  45. Montreal
  46. The Art Institute of Chicago
  47. Perfectly ripe pears
  48. Snowfall measured in feet
  49. My college track teammates
  50. Hilton Head Island
  51. ACDC
  52. Zucker Brother’s movies
  53. Canoeing
  54. Game night
  55. Roller coasters
  56. New York strip steaks
  57. Iceland
  58. My Madison Hall friends in ATL
  59. My funniest stories
  60. Investments that paid off
  61. Hearing that someone found value in something I wrote or said
  62. Energizing people
  63. Game of Thrones
  64. Real maple syrup
  65. Driving a tractor
  66. The smell of roses
  67. Handing out bonus checks
  68. A great quote
  69. The Patriots winning the Super Bowl (never gets old)
  70. Flip flops
  71. A great baseball cap
  72. Lifting weights
  73. My Dad’s Carmel Rolls
  74. A Red Sox World Series win
  75. Breaking Bad
  76. A military flyover
  77. Cheesecake
  78. The grand finale at a fireworks show
  79. A great performance by my kids
  80. My wife’s smile
  81. A great creative presentation
  82. Water parks
  83. Owning my own business (The Weaponry)
  84. Ben & Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk ice cream
  85. Discovering common friends (meaning finding out people we both know, not finding commoners and befriending them.)
  86. Raincoats
  87. Boots of all sorts. (Except the monkey from Dora the Explora)
  88. G-Shock watches
  89. Making my own t-shirts
  90. Making my sisters snarf
  91. The show Yellowstone (The park isn’t too shabby either.)
  92. The How I Built This Podcast
  93. Anything with Will Ferrell
  94. American Giant hoodies
  95. My Gerber tool
  96. My Kraken belt buckle
  97. Mount Ranier
  98. Manhattan
  99. Convertibles
  100. Overdelivering
  101. Campfires
  102. People who read my blog posts all the way to the end.

Key Takeaway

Fill your life with the things you love. The people, places, activities, feelings, food, and drink you love will lead you to a life you love. And life is too short to fill with anything else.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

Why passing grades are not good enough in the real world.

There are 3 grades to everything. Which means everything you do can be evaluated, sorted, and stacked into 3 distinct categories. Everything.

Failure

The first grade is failure. It means you didn’t live up to the standards set. It reveals you either didn’t know or didn’t try. You never want to be in this world. Because failure never fails to fail. It is the easiest thing to do.

Passing

Passing means you met the standard. But that is it. The problem with meeting the standard is that everyone else worth a poo also meets the standard too.* It is not differentiating. It is just enough to get you into the game. (*Italicized, rhymed, and infused with poo for memorability)

A passing grade puts you in the commodity category. When you simply meet the standard you have to keep on fighting. You have no leverage. You are like a teeter with no totter. You have to lower your wages or your fee because so many others are right where you are. The world of the passing grade is crowded. Which means you have to stand in line for doors you may never get through. #anightattheroxbury

Flying Colors

The only grade that gets ahead is Flying Colors. When you push beyond the passing grade you earn this enviable distinction. This is where you earn options. People seek you out when your performance, product, or service is in this range.

When you earn Flying Color grades you can choose what you do and who you do it with. You can charge a premium. You can maximize profit. Maximize opportunities. This is where you have options. Because you are adding value. And when you add value first you can extract value.

Key Takeaway

The top tier is the only group that has control over their world. This is where you should always push to be. It takes more work. But not that much more. Plus, there is inherent joy and satisfaction in doing a job at a high level. Aim here. Get here. Take control of your opportunities here. Never settle for less.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

What to do when you find yourself in a blizzard.

I woke up this morning to one of the heaviest snowfalls I have seen in several years thanks to winter storm Orlena. The lake effect snow machine is in full effect here on the Wisconsin side of Lake Michigan. On top of that, the winds are whipping like the Dazz Band. And I say let it whip.

I love this kind of weather. Unlike hurricanes, tornados, floods and wildfires that leave massive destruction in their wake, a blizzard leaves the world better and more beautiful. After Orlena transforms the midwest and northeast into a fresh powder playground, images of the snowfall will be trending on social media like Gamestop. Or Grumpy Bernie.

My Daughter Ava sent me this pic from her room this morning.

Life Is Full of Blizzards

It’s useful to think of the challenges in your life like blizzards. They can be frustrating and disorienting. But once they pass, they often leave you better than they found you.

The Startup Blizzard

When I was first launching my advertising and idea agency, The Weaponry, the swirling uncertainty of startup-ness surrounded us. And that can really mess with you. Here is something I wrote about the experience we were going through 4 years ago.

From June 10th, 2016

Today I had a long talk with a co-worker who was having a hard time at work. Which is understandable. Because startups are kinda hard. Launching a startup is like walking in a blizzard. Wind and snow are all up in your grill. It’s cold. Visibility goes into the toilet. It’s difficult to navigate in these conditions.

In the middle of a blizzard, your survival instincts tell you to seek shelter. It’s natural to want to escape the relentless wind, disorienting snow and mounting drifts. Sitting by a crackling fire, drinking hot chocolate is far more appealing to most people.

But I like walking in blizzards. I like being out when no one else is. I like doing things that build my character, my will and my personal legend. In the same way a callus rises as the result of repeated friction, strength grows from pushing against resistance.

If a blizzard confronts you on your journey you have to keep walking. You must have faith that you know where you are heading. You have to take steps forward, even when it is hard.

Blizzards of the wintry, professional and personal kind are temporary. Eventually, the snow will stop falling. The wind will chill the eff out. And the sun will come out again.

When that happens, where will you be? It’s a matter of what you did during the blizzard. If you keep pushing, you will find yourself far ahead of where you started, far ahead of those who sought shelter, and closer to your ultimate goal. You’ll find the ultimate rewards far outweigh the hot chocolate you sacrificed along the way.

Key Takeaway

Blizzards are a part of life. They will make life hard for a while. But keep going anyway. Everything is more beautiful on the other side.

Follow Up Note

The Weaponry will turn 5 years old in April. Today we have 23 clients. Because we didn’t stop walking when things were hard.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them. If you would like a regular delivery of positive sunshine to your email, consider hitting the follow button on the left column.

Do you know where you are on your journey?

Life is a curvy journey. There is a definite beginning, a muddy middle, and a certain end. The government issues you a certificate to mark the start and endpoints. But the rest is up to you to chart.

Do you know where you are right now? Knowing where you are on your path is key to navigation. So is knowing your ultimate destination. So take a moment to evaluate where you are on your journey, like Steve Perry. You can use this evaluation on your personal life, professional career, or spiritual journey.

Where are you right now?

On the right road. This means you are doing what you expected to be doing right now. You have chosen a career you like or a role in your family or community that you enjoy, and it aligns with your vision. Keep going.

Make sure to bring Twizzlers and Funyuns.

On a detour. A detour means you were on the right road, but something has forced you off. Now you are having to find a new path forward. If you are on a detour keep your eyes open for opportunities to get back on track. It may take a series of approximations and corrections. Just make sure you a still magnetized to the original destination.

This is French for The Tour.

Driving aimlessly Yes, you are driving. But there is no destination. You are traveling just to travel, not with purpose. While this can be an interesting way to see what is around you, it is also a way to lose time, like Morris Day. It helps to set a limit on how long you will allow yourself to move this way. Then it’s time to pull out the map and determine where you need to go next. Which may also require you to redefine your ultimate destination.

Eventually, driving aimlessly will bug you.

Lost You thought you knew where you were headed. But somehow you have gotten turned around, bright eyes. A job, a boss, a workplace, or a significant other has made you question whether you were on the right path for you. Maybe you have never found your purpose and have been driving aimlessly for too long. It’s time to stop and think about your purpose, your goals, and your ultimate destination. Think about what makes you happy. Write your own obituary. The way forward can often be found through this exercise because it forces you to start again with the end in mind.

It’s time to find yourself again.

On a dead-end road. There is no path forward on the road you are on. If you find yourself here, turn around now. Any other road is better than this.

Turn around. There is a reason this is called a dead-end.

In a Cul-De-Sac This is like a dead-end, only it is really comfortable. You may be in a job that is paying you well, but it is not getting you all the way to your original goals. Or you may be settling for good enough. The Cul-De-Sac can be very comfortable today. But may lead to significant regrets in your final evaluation.

The comfortable dead-end.

Headed directly towards a clear destination This is the ultimate goal. If you know where you are headed and you are pointing in the right direction the only question is how fast are you moving? Check your speedometer, Casey Jones. Are you moving fast enough to get to your destination on time? Are you moving too fast, and likely to damage the equipment at your current pace? Or do you need to give it more gas? Chances are you could give it more gas.

Enjoy the ride.

Key Takeaway

To get the most out of life it is important to regularly evaluate where you are on your journey. Noting your where and when coordinates will tell you what you need to do next to get to your destination on time. Know your endpoint. Use all the navigational tools you have available to help you get there. And keep moving forward.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

Opportunities are like showers. They need time to warm up.

Action and patience are like the chocolate and peanut butter of success. You need both. First, you need to act in order to create conditions for growth and achievement. You need to put the ball in motion. You need to hit start. You need to raise your hand. You need to plant seeds.

But then comes the hard part. You need to be patient. Because the universe doesn’t run on your timeline. The big break you are looking for doesn’t care how much you want it to happen right now, Sammy Hagar.

Opportunities are like showers. They take time to warm up. Which means you need to plan ahead. You need to take action early, so you can create opportunities later. You can’t wait until the moment you need results to get started. Or you are sure to get the cold shoulder, along with a whole bunch of other cold body parts.

Why? It takes time for the warm water of your positive actions to reach you. Remember, each shower works on its own timeframe. It depends on how far the shower is from the hot water heater, the size of the pipe, and how long it has been since you showered last.

Reminder

Once you have met a new contact, prospect, potential customer, hottie or employer, remember that you need to wait on their timing to be right to create a mutually beneficial transaction. If you insist on moving quickly, expect a cold shower.

Key Takeaway

Take initial action. Then be patient. We are all dependent on others. Arriving at synchronization takes time. Let the water warm up before you jump in. The wait is well worth it.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

Not all remarkable people start out that way.

I love to listen to audiobooks when I drive. It’s the only time I multi-task. (I am a devout mono-tasker.) This week I began listening to Titan by Ron Chernow. It is the biography of John D. Rockefeller. The Rockefeller. The man who practically invented oil. The world’s first billionaire. And, I assume, the guy who invented oysters and The Rockettes.

I expected the audiobook would be long. After all, there is a lot of money to cover. But when I discovered the recording was 35 hours long, it exceeded my wildest ear-spectations. Today, I am only 3 hours into the book and The Original Rock is still just 16 years old.

Titan: The Life of John D. Rockefeller, Sr.
Notice how it says HER on his forehead?

The Inspiration

There is one thing that stands out about young John D. that I find tremendously inspiring. At 16 years old, the most remarkable thing about the future world’s richest man is just how unremarkable he still was. There was nothing that indicates his future success. He was no child prodigy. He was no Doogie Howser. No Stevie Wonder. No Sundance Kid.

I find stories like Rocky’s thrilling. Calvin Coolidge became President of the United States, arguably the most powerful man on Earth. But his childhood, and even half of his college-hood, was bland and mediocre at best. Sara Blakely was another late bloomer. She was selling fax machines door-to-door for 7 years before creating Spanx and becoming a self-made billionaire.

You Are Not Done Yet!

Keep Rockefeller, Coolidge and Blakely in mind as you travel your path. You have the ability to do, be, create, and accomplish much more than you have so far. Whether you are a high school student or a retiree, there is still time for you to discover your calling, your perfect pitch, and create your personal legend.

Keep Going!

Remember, your achievements, accomplishments and impact will continue to grow until you stop pushing them. So think bigger. Take more action. Surround yourself with the right people. Take risks, and make them pay off. It is how you write a great biography for yourself, in real-time.

Key Takeaway

It’s not the beginning of your story that matters. Keep growing and learning. Keep pushing yourself. Discover what you are really capable of. Maximize your gifts and you can create the You that You always wanted to be. The You that You know you are. Have a vision for yourself. Dream no small dreams. Make the story of yourself in your head come true. Anyone can do it. Why not you?

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

Be kind when you rewind your life in your mind.

Imagine your life as one long continuous recording. As Mo Gawdat notes in his book Solving For Happy, at our core, we are the observers of our lives. Your 5 senses record your life, from beginning to end. At any point, pre-Alzheimer’s, you can replay a part of it again. This is what you are doing when you tap into your memory. You are rewinding, and watching the game film of your life.

Watch Your Wins

What you decide to replay for yourself makes all the difference. Replaying past successes is good for you. It reinforces how capable you are. It reminds you how you win at life. It builds confidence, determination and a positive outlook. It reminds you that you are good enough, you are smart enough, and doggone it, people like you.

Watch Your Failures Once

Don’t make a habit of watching your failures over and over. Your failures, shortcomings and mistakes should only be watched once. This allows you to study the game film, see where the mistake was made, learn, and correct the behavior. After you have learned the lesson, let your failures go. They are done.

Create Your Personal Highlight Reel

How you view your life, and thus how you view yourself, is a result of which game film you choose to watch. Rewatch the good parts often. They will become your personal highlight reel. And just like your favorite movie quotes, those memories will be quickly accessible anytime you need them. So you’ve got that going for you. Which is nice. #NameThatFilm

My Highlight Reel

When I watch game film of my life here are some of the go-to moments I go to often:

• Tests that I scored 100% on. It reminds me I am a good learner

• Breaking the state record in the discus in high school, 8 months after having my ACL reconstructed. It reminds me of the power of my determination.

• Winning a new business pitch after a client told me I had no chance. It reminds me I can win, even when the odds are stacked against me.

• Founding The Weaponry, my advertising and idea agency, with $16,000, and growing it to a multi-million dollar business. It reminds me to take risks.

• Meeting my wife Dawn It reminds me of my good luck.

• Vacation adventures with Dawn and our 3 kids. It reminds me of how fun life can be.

• Seeing a map of the 120+ countries where my blog has been read around the world. It reminds me to keep writing.

• The positive notes from people who heard me speak or give a presentation. It reminds me that my messages have value to others.

• The time I made a joke and someone laughed. It reminds me that it could happen again.

Binge Watch Your Best

To live a great life is to watch the good parts over and over. Remind yourself of your strengths, great performances and wins. Remember your positive interactions, collaborations, friendships and love, and you are sure to see more of it in your future.

Key Takeaway

We all have successes and failures. When you rewind your life, watch your failures once, to learn. Replay your successes often. Remind yourself you are a winner. You are smart, kind, and brave. Always focus on your good film. It will increase your happiness, and lead to more good film to watch.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

Do more of the things you know you should.

Ever wonder what the difference is between successful people and unsuccessful people? It is not physical. Both people look very similar on the surface. If you cut them open you would find all the same things inside both. You would also discover that both groups highly dislike being cut open.

The difference between successful, accomplished people and those who never progress is not in knowledge. Everyone knows what to do:

  • Eat right
  • Exercise
  • Work hard
  • Network
  • Study
  • Show Up
  • Volunteer
  • Collaborate
  • Save
  • Invest
  • Rise early (to get the worms)
  • Take risks
  • Read
  • Follow up
  • Wear deodorant

The Difference

Successful people do what they know they should do. They act. They make. They move. They try. They try again.

The unaccomplished know what to do, but don’t.

Don’t be a don’ter.

The Cycle

The more you do the more you will accomplish. And the more you do the more you will be inspired to do. It is a virtuous cycle. Get yourself into the positive feedback loop of action and you are sure to get more action. (And who doesn’t want more action?)

Getting Started

Make a list of the things you know you should do today. The whole list can be written in 30 seconds. 5 minutes if you have a slow pen. Then simply spend your day doing the things on your list.

Key Takeaway

Take action. Do what you already know you should. It’s the not-so-secret secret to success.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

How to fill your life with Category 3 people.

There are over 8 billion people on Earth. That’s hard to wrap your head around. In fact, wrapping your head around anything is hard to do. And it’s not good for your head. But despite the astronomical number of Earthlings, all people fall into 3 categories.

The 3 Categories of People

  1. People you don’t know.
  2. People you kinda know.
  3. People you know.

An Important Distinction

So, what is the difference between Category 2 and Category 3? To be categorized as someone you know, you must know their name. This is the gateway to a real relationship.

Key Idea

To fill your life with Category 3 people you should introduce yourself to everyone you spend time with.

Category 3 is The Magic Category.

Category 3 is full of your friends and family. This is your network. It’s your safety net. The more people you have in bucket 3 the more support you have. The more love you feel. Category 3 is where your opportunities come from. These are the people that can help advance your career, can help you make a sale, or offer you a kidney. These are the only people who will show up at your funeral (other than random people who love little ham sandwiches and sorrow).

Turn 2s into 3s

Category 2 contains people that you see or interact with. However, you remain anonymous to each other. Literally. The definition of anonymous is a person not identified by name; or of unknown name.

What you do with your category 2 people has a major impact on your life. The greater the percentage of people that you move from category 2 to category 3 the richer your life will become.

Conversely, the more people you allow to accumulate in category 2 the more loneliness and isolation you feel. A negative emotion builds in us when we are surrounded by people that we don’t know on a first-name basis (And I don’t mean like Cher, Madonna and Pele.)

The Power of 2s

This means Category 2 people are the swing people in your life. Leave them in Category 2 and they will always be familiar but nameless strangers. A natural tension accumulates between such people. You will wonder why you don’t actually introduce yourselves to each other. You create theories about dislike, or snobbishness, or standoffishness, or Eliot Ness. These theories are almost always unfounded. And almost always negative. Just ask Al Capone.

Most people simply avoid making the first move to introduce themselves to their 2s. It may be the discomfort of making the first move, a fear of rejection from a disinterested party. Or it may be that a body at rest simply tends to stay at rest.

It’s Smart To Hide Your Smartphone.

When we have a free moment among category 2 people we often invest our time and attention in our smartphone and its endless rabbit holes. It would be a much more valuable investment of your time and attention to introduce yourself to those around you. Exchange names and pleasantries. Find commonalities. Express your desire to turn your 2s into 3s. (You may have to reference this post for it all to make sense.)

Key Takeaway

Introduce yourself to everyone you spend time with. Clear out your category 2 bucket Move as many people to category 3 as you can. You will find your life fuller, friendlier and more enjoyable. More people will know your name. Which makes your world feel smaller, more personal, and more rewarding. By filling your world with category 3 people you win at life. It is how you develop a successful career. And it is how you create positive energy everywhere you go.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.