Tag: habits

Want to be an overachiever? Here’s the simple formula.

My friend Steve recently left me an interesting voicemail. He called to talk about some of my kids’ recent successes. But I couldn’t answer when he called because I was busy with kids’ stuff. It felt like I was living the lyrics from a sappy country song that you might use for a graduation or wedding video. (I will totally be making that video, with that song.)

When I listened to Steve’s voicemail, the following line stood out:

‘Wow! From what you have been sharing on social media lately it looks like your kids are really overachievers!

-Supportive Steve

Specifically, the word overachievers donged in my head. (Kinda like the dong you hear every time you see Long Duk Dong in 16 Candles.)

I know that Steve was being kind. And, yes, I share my 3 teenage children’s successes on the socials. But I never thought of my kids as overachievers. So I asked my wife Dawn if she thought our children were overachievers. She laughed and fired back an emphatic No! So I knew I wasn’t crazy. Or a bad dad. (At least not for this.)

So I found myself analyzing the word Overachiever. Overachieving is really about exceeding expectations. That is not what is happening with my children. In fact, my 3 kids are generally at the standards we have set together.

This is a result of 4 important factors.

  1. We have discovered and supported our children’s talents and interests.
  2. We have set reasonably high standards.
  3. We think long-term, and set long-term goals
  4. We believe in the power of compounded effort.

As a result, our children have put a significant amount of effort into various combinations of academics, music, and athletics. (There also has been a significant amount of effort put into not emptying the dishwasher.) And you get out of life what you put in.

The Not-So-Secret Formula

The key to achievement is to identify your talents and interests. Then work consistently to develop them into strengths over a long period of time. This means several years. Or decades. When you do you will pull away from those who dabble at the same activities.

Because when you doggy paddle you don’t make much progress. But if you learn a basic swim stroke, and apply it repeatedly, day after day, year after year, you can swim across an ocean. And when you get to the far shore, people will say, Wow! You swam across a frick’n ocean! How did you do that? The answer is simple. ‘I learned a swim stroke, and just kept repeating it until I ran out of water.’

Success is usually some combination of the following two areas:

1. Gaining strength or stamina

2. Refining technique

Both of these things are done slowly over time. Most people don’t have the patience to stick with these activities long enough. They become bored. Or distracted. Or don’t feel like the effort is paying off fast enough. But if you stick with your activities long enough you will find yourself in another world. Thanks to the compounding effect of your efforts.

So what is overachieving? It is simply normal achieving, done consistently over a longer timeframe.

Key Takeaway

To become an overachiever, find your talents and interests. Do the little things you need to do to improve in those areas. Practice your technique. Work on your strength. Build your stamina. And then just don’t stop. Eventually, those efforts will carry you past all of those who put in less effort, inconsistent effort, or stop working altogether. When you surpass those who achieve the norm, you will be considered an overachiever. And people will call you to congratulate you.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The 2 key ingredients you need for a great year in 2024.

You have just over 2 weeks until you jump into 2024 like David Lee Roth. Which makes now the perfect time to prepare for a great year. It is important to realize that great years don’t just happen on their own. They are created by you, with a strong assist from God.

I have had a lot of great years. And I’ve come to recognize that great years consist of success in 2 key areas. The first area I call PSI, which stands for Productivity and Self-Improvement. The second area I call ME, which stands for Memories and Experiences. (Although you could easily call it EM if you wanted to.)

Your PSI comes from a great routine.

A great routine ensures that you are working, growing and maintaining your mind and body. This is how you build productivity, and self-improvement into your days, weeks and months. This is done by developing strong habits in the following areas:

  • A good sleep schedule
  • Exercise
  • A strong and productive work routine
  • Good eating habits
  • Reading
  • Reflection
  • Prayer
  • Church
  • Meditation
  • Hygiene
  • Laying off the drugs

If you want help developing your own great habits I strongly recommend the book Atomic Habits by James Clear.

Your ME success comes from breaking your routine.

If everything you did was within your routine you wouldn’t create special experiences. And special experiences are critical to developing memories and an interesting, well-flavored life. The routine breaks are where your great stories come from. Because no one wants to hear your story about that time you followed your routine, and things went the way you expected.

Your scheduled routine breaks include:

  • Travel
  • Shows
  • Parties
  • Vacation
  • Competitions
  • Parades
  • Concerts
  • Hikes
  • Romance
  • Practical Jokes
  • Non-required shopping
  • Group Dinners
  • Taking an elective class
  • Reindeer Games

Key Takeaway

As you prepare for a great 2024, make sure you have the ingredients you need for a great year. Develop a strong routine that will help drive strong and productive habits. But then regularly disrupt your routine with special events that will add to your life and your experiences with friends and family. These disruptions are what will create a well-balanced life. Because your success comes from what you do repeatedly. And your memories come from the novel experiences. Together, they provide you with everything you need for a great year and a great life.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Enjoy the great results of taking just a little action every day.

Success is a stacking exercise. It is about taking a little action every day. (The way Elvis Costello wrote the book.) Just take a little action, day after day. And watch the results stack up.

Here are the types of actions you should take every day.

Reading. Read a page a day, 5 pages a day, or 10 pages a day. At 5 pages each day you will read over 1500 pages in a year. At 10 pages you will read 3650. That’s a lot of knowledge gain in the membrane.

Exercise: Exercise strengthens your body and helps you burn calories. By taking a little action every day, you stack strength gains and weight loss, or weight control. And look better naked.

Meet Someone New. If you stack a new person into your life every day you will meet 365 new people this year. That would transform your life, both personally and professionally. It would also increase the cost of your Christmas cards. And you would need a bigger budget for ham sandwiches at your funeral. But the rest is upside.

Reach out to someone in your friend circle or network every day. Make contact, rekindle a friendship, or start a conversation every day. That’s relationship maintenance. And it’s just as important as making new friends, in the same way that it used to be important to not just take pictures, but get the film developed back before digital photography came along and ruined my analogy.

Write. A journal, book, plan, blog, play, movie, whatever. Writing a little each day will help you create. And it will help you improve your own thinking. Writing my ideas down helps me more than it helps those who read what I write. Sorry.

A step on a master plan. You have a big plan, goal, or idea. I know you do. Commit to taking one action towards it every day and that master plan will come to life. That’s exactly how I built my business, The Weaponry, from dust. It’s how I wrote my book What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? And it’s how Eric B. and Rakim went from thinking of a master plan to getting paid in full.

Play an instrument: Playing an instrument every day for just 5 or 10 minutes will stack into a valuable and enjoyable skill. Anyone can do it. You can teach yourself with learn-to-play books and online videos. Start now and you’ll be able to play Christmas songs by Christmas time. Especially if you play a kazoo.

Learn a new word in a different language. When you travel internationally you realize how many words there are to know beyond your native tongue. If you add 365 new words in Spanish, Chinese, French, Norwegian, or the language of your choice each year you would add significantly to your understanding of the world and your ability to communicate with people. Plus it’s the best way to avoid ordering Veau or Escargot if you are not into such things.

Key Takeaway

The rewards of simple actions, done every day, stack into huge and powerful piles of value. Just like money saved and invested. And little by little, they transform your life. So start today. It doesn’t take much. It just takes a little every day.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The best way to get better is by dropping your bad habits.

You are a product of your habits. That is both good and bad news. Because some of your habits are constructive and make you better on a daily basis. Others are destructive and continuously hurt you. You’ll find many of those kinds of habits in country songs. And in prison.

Identifying Your Bad Habits

Do you know your most harmful habits? The ones that most negatively impact your life? That’s not a rhetorical question. I want you to take a moment to write down 3 to 5 of your bad habits. Then rank them starting with the most problematic. These are the habits that are most detrimental to your happiness, health, reputation, productivity, or success. I’ll wait while you create your list. (If you don’t create yours now we’ll automatically add procrastination to your list.)

My Habits:

I have a lot of good habits. I get a lot accomplished most days. I work hard. I write almost every day. I brush. I floss. I exercise regularly. I spend quality time with my family. And I put down the toilet seat.

But I wouldn’t have asked you to do anything I haven’t done myself. Here are the top 3 bad habits that I would do better without:

  1. Procrastination. I procrastinate on things longer than I wish I did. I have a backlog of incomplete tasks. And I have lost out on opportunities because I have waited too long to pull the trigger. Now, if I acknowledge that I don’t like my procrastination, but put off doing anything about it, that would be ironic, don’t you think?

2. Overeating:  I love to eat. And I am good at it. But I regularly eat more than I should. And I don’t like the impact it has on my physique. I developed the habit of eating a great deal when I was training heavily for competitive athletics. Back then I needed all the calories I could inhale. That was back before my metabolic slowdown, which happened somewhere in my 30s. Today my body doesn’t need the surplus calories from a Meat Lovers Pizza binger. And if I could change this occasional habit I bet I would feel more comfortable at a nude beach.

3. Screen time. I check my phone and computer far more often than I wish I did. This is complicated. Because like you, and Elon Musk, I have a complicated relationship with social platforms. As a blogger and author, I post and share a lot of ideas. Ideas that are intended to have a positive impact on those who read them. And the algorithms reward content that is interacted with. So interacting online is also important. But I would be happier to cut my online time in half. And I don’t care which half.

The Next Step

Now, I want you to pick one bad habit to attack. Because if you can eliminate one bad habit you will improve your life in a profound way. And if you can, you should.

The first step is to change your self-identity. Tell yourself, and firmly believe, that you are a person who doesn’t struggle with (your bad habit here). In fact, you are great at doing the opposite of (your bad habit here.)

To combat my procrastination, I have already adopted my identity as an action-taker and have rewired my decision-making system over the past several weeks. I recognize when decisions and actions are in danger of being put off. And I dedicate time to doing things now. It is making a huge difference, and I feel more me than ever.

Key Takeaway 

A key component of self-improvement is eliminating bad habits. Call them out. Write them down. And start picking them off one by one. Claim your new identity. Then create good habits to replace the bad. Because without your bad habits holding you back you will be much more you.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my new book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to create your powerful habit train.

It was either Aristotle or The 7 Dwarfs who said ‘We are what we repeatedly do.’ Which means that just as your DNA creates your body, your habits create your identity. So while you may feel as if your identity was written in the stars, in reality, it is written on your calendar.

When you do something every day it transforms you.

  • Exercise every day and you become fit.
  • Read every day and you become intelligent.
  • Write every day and you become an author.
  • Save money every day and you become rich.
  • Meet new people every day and you become popular.
  • Refuse to wear clothes every day and you become a nudist. And tan.

Personal Revelation

Most of the great things that have happened to me are because I first established strong habits.

  • I have exercised regularly since I was a freshman in high school. Several decades later I am still as strong as I was when I was 18. And although I am slower, my complexion is better.
  • I have a strong reading habit. I read physical books at home. And I listen to audiobooks while I drive. As a result I arrive at work smarter than I was when I left home. And I arrive home smarter than I was when I left work. If you do that every day for decades you will end up a lot smarter than you look.
  • I make a point of developing and maintaining relationships. I make a habit of reaching out to people regularly by phone, text, email or through social media. I invite people to get together and add another chapter to our friendship or familyship. One of the common regrets in life is not creating or maintaining your relationships. I will not have that regret.

The Habit Train

If you want to establish a strong new habit it is easier than you think. Because your day is already packed with habits. And the best way to establish a strong new habit is to attach it to an existing one, like cars on a freight train.

Example:

1. When your alarm clock sounds you turn it off (Habit)

2. You get up. (Habit)

3. Unless you have a bionic bladder you go to the bathroom. (Habit)

Now you have a 3-Habit Train headed down the track every morning. The key is to add more cars to your habit train.

Here’s how:

After you get up, and before you go to the bathroom, make your bed. This new habit is pretty easy to establish because you simply declare that before you go to the bathroom you will make you bed. You already know you are going to perform the habits directly before and after making the bed. Linking your new habits to your established and automatic habits quickly makes the new habit automatic too.

But Don’t Stop There.

After you go to the bathroom (and wash your hands, please), attach another habit.

My next habit is to drink a large glass of water to jumpstart a healthy day. This is where you might have coffee or tea. (Habit)

Then add another positive habit it your train.

Make this one a power habit. Think of it like adding another engine to your train. Power habits could be exercise, reading, or meditation. Something that adds real power to you as a human.

After my initial power habit (getting up at 6 am), my next power habit it is writing.  By 6:10 am I am either writing a blog post or a chapter for a new book.

I write for at least an hour at least 5 days every week. By the time I close my laptop to move on to the next habit in my morning routine my habit train is flying down the track, and I am making progress towards larger life goals.

You can create several habit trains that run at different times of day. Or you can make your entire day a nonstop habit train for maximum impact. They say that if you want something done give it to a busy person. It’s because their habit train is already rolling. And any task that gets added to the train will naturally head down the track with them. It’s a powerful way to progress through life. Choo Choo.

Key Takeaway

Habits have a transformational power. Like interest on a financial investment, repeated postive actions create compounding rewards that create massive personal and professional advantages. Link your habits into habit trains. Feel them build momentum every day. They will take you farther than you can even imagine.

*If you know somone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+If you like this lesson you’ll enjoy my new book What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

To see me on TV talking about habits check out this fun clip from the Morning Blend morning show.

How to deal with the unavoidable turbulence of life.

A great life is built by establishing great routines. When you establish a strong routine you feel like a train picking up momentum as you roll down the track. Like Casey Jones, driving that train, high on… life.

Stacking several days, weeks or months of exercise, reading, writing, work or practice together is like laying brick after brick of progress. The cumulative effect turns into something substantial, noticeable and differentiating.

However, life isn’t easy on your routines. You will regularly encounter obstacles, events, and conflicts that disrupt your flow, Jo. This turbulence knocks you around and attempts to dislodge you from your productive habits.

But remember, turbulence is temporary. A plane flies in and out of turbulence, which shakes the plane, throws the passengers about and halts the beverage and peanut service. That’s why God invented barf bags.

But turbulence is simply a pocket of disruption. One of the greatest skills you can develop is the resilience to snap back into your routine on the other side of the turbulence. After the travel, the cold, the work crunch, the Covid, the kid’s needs, or the big test you need to get right back into your best habits.

Don’t allow the turbulence to ruin your mindset. Continue to lean into your habit mentally, even when the turbulence compromises your ability to keep your commitment. Keeping the connection to the commitment is critical to maintaining the momentum. (Which is like two alliterations in one.)

Key Takeaway

Turbulence is an unavoidable part of life. It will throw off your routine and threaten your habits. But hold tight to your commitments. And jump right back into your routine as soon as the turbulence passes. It’s how you ensure that your commitments always conquer your excuses. That’s how you win at life.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+ For more positive messages check out my new book What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How habits help you do things you don’t feel like doing.

Excuses are easy to find. They are everywhere. Like Subway sandwich shops. And they can get you out of doing just about anything if you let them. But like James Taylor said, don’t you let them.

For years now I have committed to writing and sharing 3 blog posts per week, every week, for however many weeks there are in a year. (Which is like, 76 right? Or is that how many trombones lead the big parade?)

But today is Easter. And it’s a Sunday. (It seems like Easter falls on a Sunday a lot. Like Chick-fil-A cravings.)

Plus, I am on vacation. And I have a hundred other things I could be doing.

But, here I am, writing anyway. And you’re reading my Easter morning post. (Thank you!) Because I’ve developed a habit.

Habits destroy excuses. Because habits make actions automatic. They help you build momentum. Because once you get the flywheel turning you don’t need willpower, or discipline. You just do it. Like Nike. Or like one of Pavlov’s drooling dogs.

Key Takeaway

Turn your most important actions into habits. Science shows that by the 60th repetition an action becomes a habit. After that it is easy to keep your commitment. So develop your habits. Keep showing up. Keep coming back. Keep working, or writing, or exercising, or chopping wood, or whatever you have committed to do.

And special thanks today to my man Jesus. I appreciate you Bro! I’ve been using the Forgiveness of Sins you gave me everyday too.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.