Tag: self improvement

16 reasons why 2023 was my best year ever.

Happy New Year! Now that 2023 is in the proverbial books I have taken a moment to reflect. And I like what I see. 2023 may have been my best year ever. I don’t know if you can truly rank order your years. But I also don’t know if Georgia can have a fiddle-off between Johnny and the Devil, but according to Charlie Daniels, they did. And Johnny won. So here’s the supporting evidence from my 2023.

Why 2023 was my best year ever.

  1. I was healthy. No flu. No Covid. No broken parts. I got my first colonoscopy this year and they were amazed by what they saw. (Or didn’t see.) I was told to come back in 10 years. I also found that the prep work didn’t bother me. Which is a win. (Get yourself checked. It could save your life.)

2. I feel fit. I feel strong. And not just for being 50 years old. My good physical habits have been compounding. My body weight is under my high school graduation weight. And I think I would still be a valuable asset on a hay rack, bucket brigade, or trust fall.

3. My Happy Marriage. I celebrated my 21st wedding anniversary with my wonderful wife Dawn. She’s my best friend and I love her like crazy. A happy marriage makes you feel like you are winning at life. Which is a great consolation when the Patriots have a terrible year.

4. My Business Had A Record Year: The Weaponry, the advertising and idea agency I lead, recorded its best year ever in 2023. And we celebrated 7 years in business. I love my work. I am part of an amazing team. And we have really great clients. Plus I never have to wear a tie or a name badge.

5. Speaking Engagements: I had my biggest year of speaking engagements in 2023. I traveled all over the country sharing positive messages of self-improvement. Plus people paid me and bought copies of my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? And I met amazing new people. It was almost too good to be true. But I have pictures to prove it really happened.

6. Travel: I had a huge year of travel. My family and I went to London, Paris, Switzerland, Munich, Chicago, Boston, New Hampshire, Vermont, Indiana, Kentucky, Ohio, Tennesee, South Carolina, North Carolina, Georgia and Alabama. For work, I added California, Florida, Texas, Colorado, Utah, Cape Cod, and Minnesota. For someone who loves to travel this year’s adventures were like a buffet of Buddy Elf’s 4 food groups.

7. Guys Weekend: I also traveled to Puerto Rico with my high school friends Matt Prince, James Colligan and Dan Richards to celebrate our 50th year. The trip was epic. In fact, this trip alone could have made 2023 the best year ever. Ask me about this in person if you want a great story. (And let me know if I still have mud in my teeth from the off-roading we did.)

8. Dudes Dinners: I do a regular thing called Dudes Dinner with a crew of impressive guys in Mequon, Wisconsin. It’s great quality guy time with food, laughs, great stories, togetherness, and book recommendations. All dudes should have a group of dudes like these dudes.

9. Track Season: My daughter Ava had a great track season in the spring of 2023. She throws the discus and had 6 first-place finishes, 2 second-places, and 1 third-place finish. She is now 2 feet off her school’s 44-year-old discus record, with her senior season coming up this spring. She has made huge improvements in technique and strength in the off-season. Did I mention that I am her coach? So I get both Dad-joy and Coach-joy out of her success.

10. Football Season: I also coach my son Magnus’s football team. We had our best season ever in 2023. After winning 1 game in 5th grade and 2 games in 6th grade, this year the 7th graders went 5-3. Magnus had about 25 tackles for losses, a blocked punt, a blocked kick and a safety. (Did I mention I am the defensive coordinator?) On offense, he scored a 72-yard touchdown. So I got the same kind of double Dad-joy/Coach-joy I enjoyed during the track season. The bonds that these boys create with each other through football are amazing. And the father-son bond is like Kragle.

11. Music Success: My son Johann is a talented musician. In the spring he won the Wisconsin State Federation Piano Competition. He also takes saxophone lessons from a very talented professor at UW Milwaukee. Our home is always full of Johann’s beautiful music. I often can’t tell whether the music in my house is the stereo or the sonny-o.

12. I read 41 books: I set a goal of reading 24 books this year and blew past it. I read a lot of books in 2023 that made me feel smarter and more insightful, like the Scarecrow at the end of The Wizard of Oz when he finally gets a brain.

13. My Home: 2 years ago we moved into our new home in Mequon. It’s the first home I have lived in as an adult that I didn’t consider temporary. We have been remodeling the attic above the garage into a guest suite and upgrading the workout room in the basement into an amazing home gym. Both projects are almost complete. In another month I may go J.D. Salinger-style and never leave my home again.

14. My Baby Sister’s Wedding: My youngest sister Donielle got married in December, which was amazing on many levels. It brought my whole family together for the first time in several years. We were all back home in New England for the first time since 1996. The wedding was fun and full of family and friends. Plus, the day before the wedding I had a very special lunch at Simon Pearce in Quechee, Vermont with my parents and my 3 sisters, just like when we were growing up, except nobody spewed milk out of the nose. It was wonderful and hilarious. Thanks to this wedding, my family now feels complete. Or at least until the next generation starts doubling up and multiplying.

15. UW Track & Field Reunion:  I got to see a lot of my college track teammates in October in Madison, Wisconsin. Many of them I hadn’t seen in 5, 10, or 20 years. Seeing your people in real life is always better than just connecting on Zoom, text, and social media. (Unless your people don’t shower or use deodorant.)

16. Life and Death: I had several close family friends pass away in 2023. While they were each very sad, they also made me value my life, health, and family even more.

Key Takeaway

You make great years through your actions, your good decisions and your relationships. You make great years through your hard work and your reputation. To make 2024 your best year yet, create great habits. Make time for friends and family. Plan adventures large and small. Read great books. And remember that life is short. So do the important things now.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Great advice on how to best position yourself.

I spent a lot of time this fall with Oscar-nominated cinematographer Jeff Cronenweth. Jeff was the cinematographer for a couple of little movies you may have heard of, including Fight Club, and A Social Network. He also filmed the Shake It Off video for Travis Kelces’ girlfriend, Taylor, which has been viewed a Dr. Evil-sized 3.3 billion times!

Our team at The Weaponry worked with Jeff and his director brother Tim on a great new TV commercial for a great client that I can’t talk about yet. Kinda like the way you can’t talk about Fight Club. Except in this case nobody gets punched in the tooth.

The Photos

Throughout the month-long multi-timezone shoot, the agency, client and the Cronenweths would take a picture after we wrapped at each location. As we gathered for our team photo following an early morning sunrise shooot, Jeff gave our group a piece of advice. He told us to position ourselves so that we could feel the warmth of the sun on our faces. This would ensure that our face was lit for the picture. It was great advice that allowed us all to direct ourselves, kinda like Kevin Costner, Tyler Perry, or Pam & Tommy.

Positioning ourselves so that we can feel the warmth of the sun on our faces. Jeff and Tim are in the front. John Hancock is in the back.

But I couldn’t help but think that Jeff’s great advice transcends photography and film. In fact, I think it is one of the best pieces of advice and direction we can give another person.

The Sunshine Advice

Always position yourself so that you feel the warmth of the sunshine on your face. Don’t be content to stand in the shadows. As you navigate your personal journey always position yourself amongst people who shine on you. Surround yourself with others who provide the warm glow of kindness, support, respect and encouragement. Find a career where you can feel the glow of the work you do on your face. Spend time in places where you can feel the warmth of the people and the culture. That warmth you feel is the sign that you are exactly where you should be.

Key Takeaway

When you are in the right place with the right people doing the right things you can feel it like warm sunshine on your face. Seek out that feeling. Enjoy it when you find it. And don’t settle for less.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to create your own best practice approach to practice.

My 13-year-old son Magnus plays the cello. He has been playing for 4 years and I can tell that he has a natural talent for it. But he doesn’t typically practice the way you need to to Rumplestilskin your raw straw talent into golden skill.

Last week, I tried a different approach to Magnus’ practice routine. I asked him to tell me what he thought an effective practice schedule looks like. He said, ‘I should play all 3 of my songs for the week twice every day. And I should listen to my songs once every day.’ Like everyday people.

While I thought playing the songs twice seemed too light, I wanted his practice plan to be driven by him. So I overruled my judgy internal objection and sustained his proposal.

Following our discussion, something interesting happened. Magnus followed his own prescription for a successful week of cello practice. While it was not Yo-Yo Ma level, The Yo-Yo Magnus approach got good results.

Last night Magnus had his cello lesson. He had the best lesson ever. It happened because he followed his own formula for success. And his formula was self-prescribed at a strength he felt he could sustain for a week. Which is the best way to start. Then, as you enjoy the return on your time invested you are more likely to increase the input to enjoy an even better output.

Key Takeaway

Practicing is the key to self-improvement. But the key to getting yourself to practice is spelling out what you think appropriate practice should look like in your world. Create a plan that works with your timing, your energy and your desired outcome. Once you have set your own plan based on those criteria, you are more likely to follow through and enjoy the return on your invested time.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to think about your future like a great new home.

I have bought 5 homes in the past 20 years. I know a lot about the process. After all, I do it every 4 years. Which means every time you watch the Summer Olympics, vote for president, or admit you were wrong, I am buying a house.

The critical first step to buying a home is considering how much you can afford. You start with a price range, that includes the minimum and the maximum amount you would spend. You know, like something between $200,000 and $300,000. Ish.

Then you shop for your home. The final price of the house you buy falls in one of two places:

  • A. At the top of your price range
  • B. Above the top of your price range. (Am I right?)

The challenge is that once you see how good the homes at the top of the range are it is hard to settle for anything less.

Applying this to the rest of your life.

To maximize your life, approach it the same way you approach purchasing a new home.

This means that you should have minimum expectations for your life. And you should have maximum expectations for your life. This includes relationships, careers, adventures, investments, health and anything else that leads to your happiness and sense of achievement, accomplishment and fulfillment. (Basically all the ments.)

Then, like with the home buying example, push yourself to the top of your range. Or beyond. Don’t settle for less. Always strive for the upper limit. Because when you do, you will often find yourself above it.

Key Takeaway

Imagine what you are capable of at your best. Then don’t settle for less.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why it’s important to give yourself credit for small victories.

I went to Puerto Rico on a Guys’ Weekend recently. During the action-packed adventure, my friends Dan Richards, Matt Prince and James Colligan played 11 games of pickleball. I had only played the game twice before. I am not good. But that weekend I played enough to get more intelligent about the game. I am now starting to have ideas on strategies. And techniques. And excuses.

One of my greatest problems, among many others, is that I hit the ball long a lot. As I played more I wouldn’t say I stopped hitting it long. But I could see that I was hitting it less long. My shots or pickles or whatever you call them were inching closer and closer to being in the area I was trying to hit. I recognized that progress as my true, but subtle victory.

pickleball
Me and my guys on our Guys’ Weekend. Despite the fact that I know 4 guys named Guy, none of them joined us on our trip.
I guess if your name is Guy, every weekend is a Guys Weekend.

When you are learning a new skill it is important not to simply see success and failure. Pass and fail. Or right and wrong. It is valuable to recognize your progress. To note your closer and closer approximations. To identify your good misses. Like Doubtfire, Butterworth and Fields.

Skill acquisition doesn’t happen overnight. It happens as a creep towards correct. The key is to increase the percentage of times you get it right. And to shrink your range of variation. Recognize your improvement along the way, even when you are still not doing things correctly. Because it proves that you are on the right track. And it provides the encouragement you need to keep going.

Key Takeaway

When learning new skills look for small wins. Recognize the improvements that don’t show up on the scoreboard. Give yourself permission to be an amateur. It’s not about hitting the bullseye. It’s about throwing the dart, taking feedback from where it hits, and correcting accordingly. Then just keep adjusting, attempting and learning until you can’t miss. But be patient. It will take a while. All worthwhile things do.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How do you compare to other successful people?

There are people who are doing life better than you. They are more successful than you. They are happier. They have better careers and better relationships. And they are more enlightened on their spiritual journeys. They even have better teeth than you. Not that there is anything really wrong with your teeth. Most of your teeth are good.

But you are also doing life better than a lot of other people. In fact, there are people who would trade places with you in a hummingbird’s heartbeat. They envy your success, happiness, career, and relationships. They are also jealous of your good teeth.

Perspective Calibration

It’s important to remember both of these groups. Those who are doing better than you give you something to strive for. They provide a higher standard for you to hit. They are valuable reminders that you can do better and be better. (You better, you better, you bet.)

Those ahead of you help spur your growth. Which is a valuable gift. Plus, when you catch up to these people, and then pass them, it makes for a great scene in the movie version of your life. Which can now be made thanks to the end of the Hollywood actors’ strike.

However, just as you look to those ahead of you, others look to you as a model to strive for. Yes, others aspire to be on your level. These people provide a valuable perspective on how much you have, how good you are, how far you have come, and how much you have to be grateful for. Remember this as you dig into your cranberries and yams.

Key Takeaway

Always look both ways. See those who are better than you, and let them inspire you to grow and improve. But also see those who are behind you on the continuum of growth and development. They help you recognize your own successes, accomplishments, and gifts. Appreciating your strengths and successes yet seeing all that is still possible ahead is the golden spot in life. That valuable real estate is available to everyone willing to recognize that they are already there.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Create a new and improved version of yourself every day.

The world is iterative. There are new and improved versions of everything all the time. Software, apps, iPhones, laundry detergent, and watermelon. It all just keeps getting better, more valuable, and more seedless.

You have to do the same thing. Every day you should go to bed as a better version of yourself than you were when you woke up.

You will naturally learn something new every day. But if you are not actively directing your learning then the things you learn may be of little value. By following the tabloids you might learn that Matthew Perry died. But that won’t help you much unless you are a funeral director, casting director, or tabloid publisher.

Force yourself to learn something new and valuable every day. Read. Study. Subscribe to a newsletter. Listen to a helpful podcast. Get one of those 365-day Calendars. Some of my best learnings have come from those things. Seriously.

Work on your habits. They make improvements automatic. Like that Pointer Sisters song.

Improve your physical, mental, emotional, and psychological fitness too. Never settle. Settling is for dust. And 1800s pioneers.

They say that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. But you are not a dog. Humans can learn tricks and improve themselves all the way to the last station. So let’s do this, dawg!

Key Takeaway

Always be improving yourself. Today. Tomorrow. And every day after that. You do this by starting to do better things. You stop doing bad things. Read. Study successful people. Educate yourself. Learn from your mistakes and missteps. This creates new and improved versions of You every day. And there is no limit to how great you can ultimately be.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The best way to be successful is to find and focus on this one thing.

You have a valuable talent. Everyone does. You probably have more than one. But just being born with a valuable talent doesn’t make it valuable. Sorry, Charlie.

To unlock the value of your natural talent you need to do 3 things:

  1. You have to recognize what your valuable talent is.
  2. You have to develop that talent.
  3. You must find opportunities to put your talent to work where it creates value.

Valuable talents could be anything. Here is a non-exhaustive list to get your introspector introspecting.

  • Listening
  • Organizing
  • Remembering
  • Strategizing
  • Pruf Reeding
  • Creativity
  • Drawing Attention
  • Details
  • Humor
  • Caring
  • Impersonating Arron Neville.
  • Managing
  • Sales
  • Art
  • Picking Locks
  • Throwing Parties
  • Music
  • Teaching
  • Making Long Lists Less Boring To Read
  • Math
  • Words
  • Energy
  • Vision
  • Mechanics
  • Relationships
  • Looking good (This talent pairs well with all others)
  • Discovering talent in others

Key Takeaway

Don’t waste time trying to strengthen your weaknesses. That doesn’t unlock the kind of value that will make you highly successful. Instead, focus on your talents. Discover them. Develop them. Put yourself in situations where you can use them every day.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to respond to your imperfections like a manufacturing facility does.

I am trying to get better all the time. But the reality is that I am not always better.

I’m building good habits. But I still have bad habits too.

I try to be patient and kind. But I still get angry, lose my temper, and say naughty words.

I try to be a doer. But too often I procrastinate. (Although sometimes I don’t procrastinate until later.)

I try not to let my phone take attention away from my family and friends. But then I’ll find something hilarious on social media, or wonder about the Wordle word, or get a notification about the famous person from the 80s who got eaten by a snake, and just have to click on it to find out if it was David Coverdale.

Why? Why?

Tell em that it’s human nature.

But I keep trying.

And I don’t let my lesser actions and behaviors define me. Or confirm that I am not actually getting better. I know I am.

Instead, I always think about those signs you see in a factory that count the number of days they have gone without a workplace injury. They are reminders of your accumulated success. And encouragement to keep the streak alive. And presumably the people too.

So I have counters in my head, on my phone, and on pieces of paper around my house tallying my successful days doing or not doing various things. The streaks feel good. So I focus on extending them and not breaking the chain. But when I do, I reset the clock, start again, and try to go longer, if not forever.

Key Takeaway

Self-improvement is directional. It is not about absolutes. Increase the number of days and times you do the right things the way you want to do them in your head. Do the good things more. Do the bad things less. Focus on building your streaks. A winning streak is an uninterrupted sequence of successes. That should always be your goal. Just keep adding days. Go as long as you can without messing up. The goal is to be better for the rest of your life. But if you break the chain, always start a new chain and try again.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Enjoy the great results of taking just a little action every day.

Success is a stacking exercise. It is about taking a little action every day. (The way Elvis Costello wrote the book.) Just take a little action, day after day. And watch the results stack up.

Here are the types of actions you should take every day.

Reading. Read a page a day, 5 pages a day, or 10 pages a day. At 5 pages each day you will read over 1500 pages in a year. At 10 pages you will read 3650. That’s a lot of knowledge gain in the membrane.

Exercise: Exercise strengthens your body and helps you burn calories. By taking a little action every day, you stack strength gains and weight loss, or weight control. And look better naked.

Meet Someone New. If you stack a new person into your life every day you will meet 365 new people this year. That would transform your life, both personally and professionally. It would also increase the cost of your Christmas cards. And you would need a bigger budget for ham sandwiches at your funeral. But the rest is upside.

Reach out to someone in your friend circle or network every day. Make contact, rekindle a friendship, or start a conversation every day. That’s relationship maintenance. And it’s just as important as making new friends, in the same way that it used to be important to not just take pictures, but get the film developed back before digital photography came along and ruined my analogy.

Write. A journal, book, plan, blog, play, movie, whatever. Writing a little each day will help you create. And it will help you improve your own thinking. Writing my ideas down helps me more than it helps those who read what I write. Sorry.

A step on a master plan. You have a big plan, goal, or idea. I know you do. Commit to taking one action towards it every day and that master plan will come to life. That’s exactly how I built my business, The Weaponry, from dust. It’s how I wrote my book What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? And it’s how Eric B. and Rakim went from thinking of a master plan to getting paid in full.

Play an instrument: Playing an instrument every day for just 5 or 10 minutes will stack into a valuable and enjoyable skill. Anyone can do it. You can teach yourself with learn-to-play books and online videos. Start now and you’ll be able to play Christmas songs by Christmas time. Especially if you play a kazoo.

Learn a new word in a different language. When you travel internationally you realize how many words there are to know beyond your native tongue. If you add 365 new words in Spanish, Chinese, French, Norwegian, or the language of your choice each year you would add significantly to your understanding of the world and your ability to communicate with people. Plus it’s the best way to avoid ordering Veau or Escargot if you are not into such things.

Key Takeaway

The rewards of simple actions, done every day, stack into huge and powerful piles of value. Just like money saved and invested. And little by little, they transform your life. So start today. It doesn’t take much. It just takes a little every day.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.