Category: self improvement

All successful results are a product of these 2 simple factors.

I have competed all my life. As an athlete. As a businessman. And as a coach. I have seen how some teams and businesses always generate great results, while others never do. (Coughing: Cleveland Browns.)

I have learned what it takes to achieve great results. And like Bennifer, Hall & Oates, and Gin n’ Juice, successful results are a product of two things.

The System and The Subject.

The System is the way of doing things.

It is the process. The expectations. The values. The technique. It is the school of thought. The philosophies. It is the declared purpose and priorities. It is the tolerances permitted. It is the culture. It is the rituals and norms. And the people with other names besides Norm.

The Subject is the person being coached, led or taught.

Subjects vary in skills, talent, commitment, attitude, experience, determination, resolve and grit. They vary in natural ability and capacity. They vary in tolerance for pain and suffering. They vary in height, weight and speed. And subjects vary in loyalty, royalty, and the price they are willing to pay.

What This Means.

The system will determine how much you can get out of the subject.

The subject will determine how much you can get out of the system.

A better system will generate better results for a subject.

A better subject will generate better results within a system.

Key Takeaway

For the team to create the greatest results, continuously improve your system, and attract better subjects. For the individual to achieve the greatest results, find the greatest system.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why your talent alone is never enough to be successful.

There are talented people everywhere.

There is talent in the richest neighborhoods.

And in dirty tent villages.

There is talent in the best schools.

And in maximum security prisons.

Don’t ask me how I know…

Talent is not a rare gem.

It is as common as stone. Just ask Cold Steve Austin.

The great rarity is the will to invest time and energy to develop your talent.

The will to work, sacrifice, and stay the course over a prolonged period makes all the difference. It transforms your talent into valuable skills and desired results. It is that investment that separates the masses from the wildly successful.

Key Takeaway

Everyone has talent. It is what you are willing to invest to develop your talent that makes all the difference.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Here’s the very best way to get revenge on your enemies, legally.

I don’t need everyone to like me.

And neither do you.

When I was a kid I recognized that there were people with whom I got along well, and others who were like a downer to my upper. Or oil to my water. Or plumbers crack to my suspenders. In other words, we just couldn’t exist in the same space.

As an adult, I am fortunate to have a lot of friends. But I still have people that don’t like me. I bet you have people who don’t like you too. It’s a sign that you are doing things the right way. Or that you are a psychopath. (If you are a psychopath none of the rest of this lesson applies to you.)

I have found that the people that clearly don’t like me have a different value system than me. For example, I think people should be honest and kind. While I find that most people I don’t get along with don’t value honesty and kindness. And neither do their feral children.

While I tend to make friends quickly, I make enemies just as fast. I don’t attempt to convert my enemies into friends. Instead, I think about getting revenge. And the best way to get revenge on your enemies is to constantly disappoint them.

How I disappoint my enemies:

I disappoint my enemies with my successes.

I disappoint my enemies with my continuous improvement.

I disappoint my enemies with my resilience to setbacks.

I disappoint my enemies by not responding to their invitations to stoop to their level.

I disappoint my enemies by amassing more friends who align with my values.

I disappoint my enemies with my indifference to them.

I disappoint my enemies by smiling, laughing, and enjoying every day, especially in front of them and their feral children.

Key Takeaway

Use your enemies to your advantage. They are excellent sources of motivation. Disappoint your enemies with your successes. It’s the sweetest form of revenge.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why it’s important to know what you would do with more downtime.

Are you busier than ever, or not busy enough? A tight labor market, high demand for your work, and a strong push for an efficient workplace will keep you running from the time you clock in until you clock out, and Fred Flinstone down your dinosaur each day.

However, in an economic slowdown, there is a good chance you will not find yourself so busy. In fact, you may already have more time on your hands than you ever wanted. Or ever needed. Which sounds like the lyrics to a Depeche Mode song.

It is valuable to think about what you would do to improve your job, business or career if you suddenly found yourself with more free time on your hands. (Or wherever you carry your free time.)

Many of us have forgotten what a slow work week is like because we have been juggling all day every day for years. But a slowdown and even a layoff can be a gift if you are prepared to use your time wisely.

During slowdowns, you can:

  • Learn new skills
  • Read and catch up with the industry
  • Develop or maintain relationships
  • Improve your processes
  • Amplify your business development efforts
  • Enjoy a little rest
  • Alter the trajectory of your career
  • Get involved with industry associations
  • Start a new business
  • Volunteer your time and expertise
  • Make the moment last and feel groovy
  • Realize you move too fast, you’ve got to make the morning last. So kick down the cobblestones,
    look for fun and feel groovy.

Key Takeaway

Prepare a list of things you want to do when the next slowdown occurs. Whether that is a slow day, a slow week, a slow month, or a layoff. The plan means you will make the most of your time. The slowdown becomes an opportunity to accomplish things in your plan. Remember, time is your most valuable commodity. Use it. Don’t waste it.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why I completely changed my mind on a very important decision.

I never wanted a dog. I didn’t have one as a child. And there were a variety of factors that discouraged me from wanting one as an adult. The Big 5 for me were:

  1. The expense of dog ownership
  2. The damage a dog would do to my home and my slippers.
  3. The added work and responsibility of caring for a dog, given that I didn’t have enough time for the 4 other humans in my home.
  4. The cramp a dog would put on my personal freedom, especially related to travel, and staying inside on cold January mornings in Wisconsin. Woof.
  5. My wife and kids already provided my recommended daily allowance of cuteness.

Yet despite my well-founded reasons for not wanting a dog, my kids wanted a dog. And my wife wanted a dog. That didn’t matter to me. My reasons were better than theirs, which included things like, it will be fun. And, they are so cute.

Getting a dog was a non-negotiable issue for me. Despite all the negotiating my family brought to the non-bargaining table.

Until One Day…

However, 3 years ago I changed my mind. All of my reasons for not wanting a dog were still valid. But new information entered the decision.

One day, while reflecting on my life, I recognized how much my wife had supported my choices to help me live my ideal life. She didn’t flinch when I told her I wanted to become an entrepreneur and launch The Weaponry, the advertising and ideas agency I founded in 2016. She supported the additional work and isolation required when I wanted to start writing books. She supported the additional time and attention needed away from our home when I decided to coach my children in youth football and high school track and field.

In recognizing that my wife and family were supportive of the inconveniences that came with me living my ideal life, I recognized that in their ideal lives, they owned a dog.

We had room for a dog. We could afford a dog. And there were 4 other humans in my home that were willing to care for said imaginary dog. Yet I was preventing my wife and kids from having the life experience they all wanted.

So I changed my mind on something I never thought I would. Not for me. But because it was so important to them.

So in the winter of 2022, after much research and online shopping, we drove to South Carolina on a weekend, picked up an 8-week-old Border Collie named Strawberry, who we renamed Amicalola, and now call Lola for short. And we became a family of 6.

Today, with a year and a half of experience, the benefits of having a dog in our home are obvious. It has changed our family dynamic, mostly for the better. The rest of the family really does a lot to take care of her. And Lola loves me. Because Lola loves everyone. And she didn’t know that I didn’t want her in the first place

Key Takeaway

Don’t be afraid to change your mind. Changing your mind is a great sign of growth, learning and increased intelligence. Your decisions and opinions are made with the information you have at any given time. More information should alter your perspective. And eventually, that information may even change your vote.

We all make difficult decisions by sorting through a complex set of contrasting dilemmas. Whether you are weighing gun legislation, abortion rights, or whether or not to add a pet to your household. These are never black-and-white issues. They are grey issues because there are valid points both for and against both sides of every issue. The more you know about life the more you will adjust your view on most issues. Even if you don’t change your final vote, it will change your perspective and appreciation for a differing opinion. That’s a sign of increased intelligence.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why it’s so important to take action before you need to.

My home project this morning is cleaning out our gutters. We recently had roofers replace the worn and missing cedar shingles on our house, in the middle of our street. They then treated the roof to extend the life of the cedar shakes. In the process a lot of little shingle slivers collected on the roof. After a recent rain, those slivers and bits washed down and collected in our gutters. Which is why my mind is in the gutter this morning.

Today is a beautiful, sunny day in Wisconsin. There is no chance of rain. Or snow. So the accumulated debris in my gutter won’t create any dam problems today. That’s why today is the perfect day for this eager beaver to clean the gutters out.

Get Ahead To Get Ahead

Success requires you to do the work when you don’t need to. Not when you do.

It is the off-season work that makes the difference in sports.

It is the relationship-building you do when you don’t need anything that makes the difference when you really do need a friend, favor, job, or sale.

It’s the regular dental cleaning that prevents the cavity. And the accompanying Cavity Creeps.

It is the process that you create and implement that ensures that all future jobs are done right, every time.

It is the money you saved and invested that accumulates interest while you sleep, Van Winkle.

It is the colonoscopy that prevents the polyp from becoming colorectal cancer. And you don’t want anything going bad with your colorectals.

Key Takeaway

Take action before you need to. Your preactions are far more valuable than your reactions. Preactions accumulate and create opportunities and success, while your reactions focus on problems that already exist. Often those problems could have been avoided or minimized by acting earlier. Remember, hard work is the easy work you didn’t do when you had the time. Get ahead of the work and you will get ahead in life.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

It’s not where you start that matters. It’s who you bump into.

Yesterday I played mini golf with my family. It was my son Magnus’s birthday, And it was a fun way to kick off his teenage years with more ball-rolling than eye-rolling. After we played 18 holes and returned our clubs we got to drop our golf balls into a Plinko game. If your ball landed in the right slot you would win free ice cream. If it didn’t you would save yourself 30 minutes of cardio.

Plinko is an interesting game of chance that was originally discovered by Bob Barker and a contestant who had come on down to the set of The Price is Right in the 1980s.

To play the game you drop a ball or chip over a grid of pegs. As the object falls it bounces off the pegs and is redirected several times until it finally lands in a slot at the bottom of the grid. What you quickly realize is that where the object starts at the top has very little to do with where it lands at the bottom. It is the collisions that keep redirecting the object and determining where you finish. Kinda like NASCAR.

Life works like a giant Plinko game. It is not where you start that matters. It is who and what you bump into along the way that matters. It is the pegs you encounter that have the greatest influence on your life.

Your pegs are:

  • People you spend time with.
  • Books you read.
  • Experiences you have.
  • Places you visit
  • The mom from Married With Children

Your pegs alter your course. They provide new influences and nudge you in new directions. Some are positive, and some are negative. Positive pegs tend to direct you towards even more positive influences. Although negative pegs can push us in positive directions too. Especially once you’ve encountered someone who turns negatives into positives.

Key Takeaway

Life is like a giant Plinko game. The people you collide with change the course of your life. So do the books you read, the places you visit, and the experiences you have. Seek out great pegs. They have the power to change your whole trajectory.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How experience and information made my 3rd trip to Europe feel so different.

My family and I just returned from a 2-week trip to Europe. We saw London. And we saw France. But according to my travel journal, we did not see your underpants. After Paris, we visited Bern, Switzerland and Munich. We also road 6 trains on our travels across the continent, which we felt well prepared for thanks to Thomas The Tank Engine.

A Very Different Experience.

Despite the fact that I had been to all of the places I visited in Europe before, this time felt very different. Mostly because I am different.

The first 2 times I visited Europe, when I was 15 and 38, I felt like I was trying to understand the local rules and customs. It was exciting and fascinating. But I remember feeling tentative and bumbling much of the time. Particularly in countries where English is not the native language. (You know, like not England.)

This time I felt very different.

Older, wiser, and perhaps more worldly, on this trip I felt confident that I was doing the right things, or at least the right things as far as I knew. What’s more, I recognized the things I didn’t know, and I wasn’t embarrassed or self-conscious about them.

Access To My Information Station

Another reason that this visit to Europe felt very different was that it was the first time I visited Europe with full access to my mobile phone. It was a great reminder that instant access to information has a profound impact on your experience, your ability to navigate new or foreign places, and your situational confidence.

Access to Google Maps ensured that we were never lost or directionless. We could check hours of operation, and reviews at any time. We could easily translate words we didn’t know. (Which is especially useful when ordering food so you can distinguish between raw beef and biscuits.) And we could quickly calculate currency conversions.

Lasting Impact

A trip like this always has a significant impact on your life. Which is why we undertake such adventures. The significant time and money invested in such a trip provide some of the greatest returns you will ever enjoy.

I returned with more amazing experiences, lessons, and insights than I can wrap my head around. (Although truth be told, I’m not very good at wrapping my head.) I am certain that the various non-physical souvenirs of my trip will provide inspiration for the rest of my life. Which means that I will also be writing about them for some time. Because the experiences of your life inspire your creative thinking.

Key Takeaway

Travel provides incredibly valuable experiences. Those experiences enhance both your knowledge and your thinking. You discover new places, new geography, new customs and new foods. You learn about different languages, different histories and different perspectives. But most importantly, travel teaches you new lessons about yourself. It teaches you what you like and what you don’t like. It reminds you of how much there still is to know. It helps you understand what makes your mind sparkle. And after seeing new places on the planet it is impossible to ever see the world the same way again.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Are you tapping into the great value of your personal exploration?

Last week my family and I toured several college campuses in the Southeast quadrant of the United States. My daughter Ava is entering her senior year of high school this fall. So she needs to find her next home after we kick her out of the nest.

Each school we visited had interesting and unique qualities. And I discovered how much has changed since my college days. And I’m not just talking about social media and Chick-fil-A on campus.

When I was in college at the University of Wisconsin, back before cell phones, you either had a declared major or you were considered undecided. Like a voter who dislikes all the candidates. But today at the University of Tennessee, you either have a declared major or you are on the exploratory track. And I love a good exploration.

Flashback

During my first 3 semesters of college, I thought I knew what I wanted to study. But I wasn’t enjoying it. So in the spring of my sophomore year, I decided not to take any classes in that major. Instead, I took a broad range of classes that I thought sounded interesting. This included classes in psychology, zoology, sociology, journalism, and philosophy. It was my self-made exploratory track. And it changed my life.

I enjoyed all of the classes. But I discovered that I loved my classes in psychology (Psych 101) and journalism (Mass Media and the Consumer). I decided to declare majors in both areas. (Although I still think that declaring is something that should be left to Founding Fathers and refined Southern women.)

I have been using what I learned in my two areas of study every day of work for my entire career in advertising.

The University of Tennessee visit reminded me of my own academic journey. And it reminded me that we should all spend more time in our own exploratory programs.

Areas of Exploration

Dating: Before you get married you should spend time exploring romantic relationships. By dating different types of people you discover what you do and don’t like and who you could live with for 50 years without stabbing.

Travel: Spend your life exploring new places to find the places you enjoy and to gain new perspectives on people, places and access to public toilets.

Food: Explore new foods, new restaurants, and new recipes. Opening your mouth to new foods will often open up your mind too. It helps you understand different flavors, ingredients and cultures. And it reminds you that on a dollar-per-pound basis, nothing beats pizza.

Friends: Explore new friendships, always. Everyone you meet has the opportunity to add new benefits to your life. But if you meet people who are really into that Netflix series on Jeffrey Dahmer I suggest you move quickly in the opposite direction.

Home: Explore different places and spaces to discover what feels most right to you. After college, I lived in 4 apartments and owned 5 homes in 3 different states. My current home is my favorite by far. But the first 4 homes helped me discover the size, style, layout, and yard I wanted. Exploration also helped me discover the state I wanted to be in (Wisconsin). Although recent exploration suggests that my next home should be in Switzerland. Next to Heidi and the Von Trapps.

Activities: Explore what you like to do in your free time. There are thousands of different hobbies and pastimes to enjoy other than watching TV and playing Pickleball. Explore them. Discover what activities provide you joy, entertainment, and fulfillment.

Key Takeaway

Spend more time in exploration mode. Look for new people, places, activities and things to add to your life to enrich your experience on Earth. Approach life like a college student. Keep your eyes, heart and mind open to discovering more of the great things that will add to your world.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

To create more success and more impact focus on the long-term.

There are 2 main time frames you must always consider: the short-term and the long-term. (There may also be one in between those 2, but I have no idea what it would be called.)

The short-term is full of basic needs, primal desires, and eating the first marshmallow they give you. The short term is about scrolling social media, watching TV, and eating stuff with ingredients you can’t pronounce.

The long-term is where the magic is. Long-term thinking, planning, and preparation enable you to create a great life. It enables you to build momentum. It helps you create things that last. And it empowers you to change the world.

Efforts focused on the long term create the most significant return on your invested time, energy, and money.

Consider this quote from famed landscape architect Fredrick Law Olmsted (the original FLO) who created New York’s Central Park, Montreal’s Mount Royal Park, the grounds at The Biltmore Estate, and the landscape at the Chicago World’s Fair:

I have all my life been considering distant effects and always sacrificing immediate success and applause to that of the future. In laying out Central Park we determined to think of no result to be realized in less than forty years.”

– Fredrick Law Olmsted

Key Takeaway

Always think about what you can do over the long term. Consider what you can create, contribute and change over your lifetime, and beyond. Be willing to make sacrifices in the short term to magnify your impact deep into the future.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.