Category: personal development

How to make your wishes come true by adding this special ingredient.

I have always wanted great things in my life. Personal and professional success. A happy marriage to a hottie. A loving family. Adventurous travel. Good health. And an endless supply of cheese curds.

I pray about these things. Okay, not the cheese curds. Because I assume God already knows. But it helps to feel that I have expressed the things I want in life to a higher power who has the ability to influence how the ball bounces and how the cookie crumbles.

However, there is an African proverb that says:

When you pray move your feet.

It’s a great reminder that it’s not enough to ask for what you want.

You have to take action. You have to force your dreams to life.

Work. Do. Act. Build. Make. Go.

That’s the best way to ensure you get the things you pray about.

Key Takeaway

The Lord helps those who help themselves. Don’t just dream, wish and pray. Take action. Because the more action you take the more likely your prayers are to be answered.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why your talent alone is never enough to be successful.

There are talented people everywhere.

There is talent in the richest neighborhoods.

And in dirty tent villages.

There is talent in the best schools.

And in maximum security prisons.

Don’t ask me how I know…

Talent is not a rare gem.

It is as common as stone. Just ask Cold Steve Austin.

The great rarity is the will to invest time and energy to develop your talent.

The will to work, sacrifice, and stay the course over a prolonged period makes all the difference. It transforms your talent into valuable skills and desired results. It is that investment that separates the masses from the wildly successful.

Key Takeaway

Everyone has talent. It is what you are willing to invest to develop your talent that makes all the difference.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why it’s important to know what you would do with more downtime.

Are you busier than ever, or not busy enough? A tight labor market, high demand for your work, and a strong push for an efficient workplace will keep you running from the time you clock in until you clock out, and Fred Flinstone down your dinosaur each day.

However, in an economic slowdown, there is a good chance you will not find yourself so busy. In fact, you may already have more time on your hands than you ever wanted. Or ever needed. Which sounds like the lyrics to a Depeche Mode song.

It is valuable to think about what you would do to improve your job, business or career if you suddenly found yourself with more free time on your hands. (Or wherever you carry your free time.)

Many of us have forgotten what a slow work week is like because we have been juggling all day every day for years. But a slowdown and even a layoff can be a gift if you are prepared to use your time wisely.

During slowdowns, you can:

  • Learn new skills
  • Read and catch up with the industry
  • Develop or maintain relationships
  • Improve your processes
  • Amplify your business development efforts
  • Enjoy a little rest
  • Alter the trajectory of your career
  • Get involved with industry associations
  • Start a new business
  • Volunteer your time and expertise
  • Make the moment last and feel groovy
  • Realize you move too fast, you’ve got to make the morning last. So kick down the cobblestones,
    look for fun and feel groovy.

Key Takeaway

Prepare a list of things you want to do when the next slowdown occurs. Whether that is a slow day, a slow week, a slow month, or a layoff. The plan means you will make the most of your time. The slowdown becomes an opportunity to accomplish things in your plan. Remember, time is your most valuable commodity. Use it. Don’t waste it.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why I completely changed my mind on a very important decision.

I never wanted a dog. I didn’t have one as a child. And there were a variety of factors that discouraged me from wanting one as an adult. The Big 5 for me were:

  1. The expense of dog ownership
  2. The damage a dog would do to my home and my slippers.
  3. The added work and responsibility of caring for a dog, given that I didn’t have enough time for the 4 other humans in my home.
  4. The cramp a dog would put on my personal freedom, especially related to travel, and staying inside on cold January mornings in Wisconsin. Woof.
  5. My wife and kids already provided my recommended daily allowance of cuteness.

Yet despite my well-founded reasons for not wanting a dog, my kids wanted a dog. And my wife wanted a dog. That didn’t matter to me. My reasons were better than theirs, which included things like, it will be fun. And, they are so cute.

Getting a dog was a non-negotiable issue for me. Despite all the negotiating my family brought to the non-bargaining table.

Until One Day…

However, 3 years ago I changed my mind. All of my reasons for not wanting a dog were still valid. But new information entered the decision.

One day, while reflecting on my life, I recognized how much my wife had supported my choices to help me live my ideal life. She didn’t flinch when I told her I wanted to become an entrepreneur and launch The Weaponry, the advertising and ideas agency I founded in 2016. She supported the additional work and isolation required when I wanted to start writing books. She supported the additional time and attention needed away from our home when I decided to coach my children in youth football and high school track and field.

In recognizing that my wife and family were supportive of the inconveniences that came with me living my ideal life, I recognized that in their ideal lives, they owned a dog.

We had room for a dog. We could afford a dog. And there were 4 other humans in my home that were willing to care for said imaginary dog. Yet I was preventing my wife and kids from having the life experience they all wanted.

So I changed my mind on something I never thought I would. Not for me. But because it was so important to them.

So in the winter of 2022, after much research and online shopping, we drove to South Carolina on a weekend, picked up an 8-week-old Border Collie named Strawberry, who we renamed Amicalola, and now call Lola for short. And we became a family of 6.

Today, with a year and a half of experience, the benefits of having a dog in our home are obvious. It has changed our family dynamic, mostly for the better. The rest of the family really does a lot to take care of her. And Lola loves me. Because Lola loves everyone. And she didn’t know that I didn’t want her in the first place

Key Takeaway

Don’t be afraid to change your mind. Changing your mind is a great sign of growth, learning and increased intelligence. Your decisions and opinions are made with the information you have at any given time. More information should alter your perspective. And eventually, that information may even change your vote.

We all make difficult decisions by sorting through a complex set of contrasting dilemmas. Whether you are weighing gun legislation, abortion rights, or whether or not to add a pet to your household. These are never black-and-white issues. They are grey issues because there are valid points both for and against both sides of every issue. The more you know about life the more you will adjust your view on most issues. Even if you don’t change your final vote, it will change your perspective and appreciation for a differing opinion. That’s a sign of increased intelligence.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The great power in pounding away at your goals every day.

In 2016 my family and I moved from Atlanta to Milwaukee. While Atlanta is a great city, it also has its not-so-great parts. By that I mean the ridiculous traffic problem. One of the things I love about living in Milwaukee is the lack of traffic. That and cheese curds 24/7.

However, right now, the 17 miles of I-43 that I drive on my commute to work every day are all under construction. They are adding another lane to the interstate in both directions over that entire stretch. Which means they also have to tear down and rebuild every bridge that crosses over the interstate to accommodate the wider freeway. I haven’t seen this much bridge destruction and rebuilding since I stopped watching The Real Housewives or Orange County.

One of the upsides of the slow-moving traffic is that there is plenty to look at. My favorite piece of equipment that I pass is the massive pile driver near Nicolet High School in Glendale. Every day I see and hear it pounding away in the median between the north and southbound lanes. It’s driving pilings for a new bridge support deep into the bedrock like Fred and Barney would do.

A non-WWE style pile driver, like the one I see on my commute.

A Role Model For Success

As I slowly drive by the loud, methodical bang, bang, banging of the pile driver and watch it make its mind-numbingly slow progress, I find myself inspired. Because that machine shows you exactly how you drive results in anything.

You just keep hammering away.

• Life has taught me that if you want to get stronger, you have to hit the weights, day after day, after day after day.

• If you want to create a successful business you have to keep pounding away at the fundamentals of business development, customer delivery, and employee support, day after day after day.

• To be a good parent you have to share the importance of good habits and good morals day after day for a minimum of 18 years. You also have to remind yourself not to run away and leave those children behind every day.

• To read a book you have to read word after word after word for days, weeks or months. There is no other way.

• If you want to write a 50,000-word book you have to write word after word after word. And then rewrite the book over and over again, like Nelly and Tim McGraw said.

• If you want a successful and happy marriage you have to work at it day after day after day until one of you dies.

• Athletic success requires you to put in the practice and training day after day for years and years.

• You become wealthy by steadily saving and investing your money and letting that interest compound day after day after day. (And if you accumulate too much you can always share it with me.)

Key Takeaway

Keep pounding. Success doesn’t come easy. Results don’t come overnight. The outcome you are after is built through a slow and steady accumulation of effort. Be patient. Be persistent. And just don’t stop. That is the simple yet proven formula for all great accomplishments.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why my last speaking event was more rewarding than usual.

In January of this year, I got a fun email from Miriam Crosby, the Director of Superfoods at The Peanut Institute. In her note, Miriam invited me to speak at the USA Peanut Congress, where leaders from all sectors of the peanut industry get together to discuss all things peanut. The event is kinda like that scene from Forrest Gump where Bubba talked about all things shrimp. But for peanuts.

The Peanut Institute had a slot for a speaker at the event and they wanted me to come and share some life and career lessons from my book What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? I was thrilled and thought I might even get to meet Jif, Skippy, and Mr. Peanut.

Not only was I excited about the opportunity, and honored to be invited, the location was going to be amazing! The event was on Amelia Island in Florida at the Ritz Carlton Hotel. And the Ritz people are even better at making Carlton hotels than they are at making crackers. Which is pretty amazing.

Sunrise at the Ritz Carlton on Amelia Island, starring the Atlantic Ocean.

The Event

The event was in mid-June. And it was incredible. The entire peanut world was there. The Weaponry, the advertising and ideas agency that I lead, has several great clients in the peanut industry. So I knew a lot of special people at the event. And I met a whole lot more.

Me sharing life lessons and telling the audience that in Milwaukee I eat peanuts with my left hand.

My talk was titled Nutrient Dense Life Lessons. I talked about how the little peanut, packed with energy and full of goodness, sets a great example for us all and has inspired me since I was in high school. #TrueStory

Adam’s talk was inspirational!  He is such an engaging, high-energy speaker…the audience was on the edge of their seats waiting for the next life lesson to drop.  Well done!

–Miriam Crosby

The audience was great. The team from The Peanut Institute, including Miriam, John Powell, Samara ‘Dr. Peanut’ Sterling and Kirsten Collins from the American Peanut Shellers Association were helpful and supportive. The room itself at the Ritz Carlton was perfect. Did I mention the food was outstanding? (It was!).

What Was Even Better!

But what made this experience even greater was that my wife Dawn was able to join me in Florida. The timing of the event in mid-June meant that my kids were out of school so Dawn could come with me. After the thousands of hours I have spent alone writing blog posts and books over the past 7 years, it was great to be able to have Dawn enjoy the rewards of both the work and sacrifice.

Dawn and me enjoying the Ritz Carlton. Check out my fun straw that looks like the Hilton Head lighthouse.

The Evolution of a Passion Project

I started writing this blog when I first launched The Weaponry. No one asked me to do it. It was a passion project. It allowed me to share my experiences, observations and lessons. 5 years after I started the blog I published my first book. Writing the book led to speaking engagements all over the country.

It is interesting to see where your passion projects take you. When you deeply care about what you are creating and offer value to others first, you will receive value in return.

Thank you to The Peanut Institute for inviting me to speak. Thank you to the USA Peanut Congress for putting on such a great event in such a beautiful setting. The whole experience created a fun new memory for both me and Dawn.

Key Takeaway

Pursuit your passion projects. You never know where they may take you. And if they take you somewhere good, be sure to bring your loved ones along for the ride.

*If you are looking for a speaker to bring energy, fun and valuable lessons to your next event, shoot me a note at adam@theweaponry.com.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How experience and information made my 3rd trip to Europe feel so different.

My family and I just returned from a 2-week trip to Europe. We saw London. And we saw France. But according to my travel journal, we did not see your underpants. After Paris, we visited Bern, Switzerland and Munich. We also road 6 trains on our travels across the continent, which we felt well prepared for thanks to Thomas The Tank Engine.

A Very Different Experience.

Despite the fact that I had been to all of the places I visited in Europe before, this time felt very different. Mostly because I am different.

The first 2 times I visited Europe, when I was 15 and 38, I felt like I was trying to understand the local rules and customs. It was exciting and fascinating. But I remember feeling tentative and bumbling much of the time. Particularly in countries where English is not the native language. (You know, like not England.)

This time I felt very different.

Older, wiser, and perhaps more worldly, on this trip I felt confident that I was doing the right things, or at least the right things as far as I knew. What’s more, I recognized the things I didn’t know, and I wasn’t embarrassed or self-conscious about them.

Access To My Information Station

Another reason that this visit to Europe felt very different was that it was the first time I visited Europe with full access to my mobile phone. It was a great reminder that instant access to information has a profound impact on your experience, your ability to navigate new or foreign places, and your situational confidence.

Access to Google Maps ensured that we were never lost or directionless. We could check hours of operation, and reviews at any time. We could easily translate words we didn’t know. (Which is especially useful when ordering food so you can distinguish between raw beef and biscuits.) And we could quickly calculate currency conversions.

Lasting Impact

A trip like this always has a significant impact on your life. Which is why we undertake such adventures. The significant time and money invested in such a trip provide some of the greatest returns you will ever enjoy.

I returned with more amazing experiences, lessons, and insights than I can wrap my head around. (Although truth be told, I’m not very good at wrapping my head.) I am certain that the various non-physical souvenirs of my trip will provide inspiration for the rest of my life. Which means that I will also be writing about them for some time. Because the experiences of your life inspire your creative thinking.

Key Takeaway

Travel provides incredibly valuable experiences. Those experiences enhance both your knowledge and your thinking. You discover new places, new geography, new customs and new foods. You learn about different languages, different histories and different perspectives. But most importantly, travel teaches you new lessons about yourself. It teaches you what you like and what you don’t like. It reminds you of how much there still is to know. It helps you understand what makes your mind sparkle. And after seeing new places on the planet it is impossible to ever see the world the same way again.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Are you tapping into the great value of your personal exploration?

Last week my family and I toured several college campuses in the Southeast quadrant of the United States. My daughter Ava is entering her senior year of high school this fall. So she needs to find her next home after we kick her out of the nest.

Each school we visited had interesting and unique qualities. And I discovered how much has changed since my college days. And I’m not just talking about social media and Chick-fil-A on campus.

When I was in college at the University of Wisconsin, back before cell phones, you either had a declared major or you were considered undecided. Like a voter who dislikes all the candidates. But today at the University of Tennessee, you either have a declared major or you are on the exploratory track. And I love a good exploration.

Flashback

During my first 3 semesters of college, I thought I knew what I wanted to study. But I wasn’t enjoying it. So in the spring of my sophomore year, I decided not to take any classes in that major. Instead, I took a broad range of classes that I thought sounded interesting. This included classes in psychology, zoology, sociology, journalism, and philosophy. It was my self-made exploratory track. And it changed my life.

I enjoyed all of the classes. But I discovered that I loved my classes in psychology (Psych 101) and journalism (Mass Media and the Consumer). I decided to declare majors in both areas. (Although I still think that declaring is something that should be left to Founding Fathers and refined Southern women.)

I have been using what I learned in my two areas of study every day of work for my entire career in advertising.

The University of Tennessee visit reminded me of my own academic journey. And it reminded me that we should all spend more time in our own exploratory programs.

Areas of Exploration

Dating: Before you get married you should spend time exploring romantic relationships. By dating different types of people you discover what you do and don’t like and who you could live with for 50 years without stabbing.

Travel: Spend your life exploring new places to find the places you enjoy and to gain new perspectives on people, places and access to public toilets.

Food: Explore new foods, new restaurants, and new recipes. Opening your mouth to new foods will often open up your mind too. It helps you understand different flavors, ingredients and cultures. And it reminds you that on a dollar-per-pound basis, nothing beats pizza.

Friends: Explore new friendships, always. Everyone you meet has the opportunity to add new benefits to your life. But if you meet people who are really into that Netflix series on Jeffrey Dahmer I suggest you move quickly in the opposite direction.

Home: Explore different places and spaces to discover what feels most right to you. After college, I lived in 4 apartments and owned 5 homes in 3 different states. My current home is my favorite by far. But the first 4 homes helped me discover the size, style, layout, and yard I wanted. Exploration also helped me discover the state I wanted to be in (Wisconsin). Although recent exploration suggests that my next home should be in Switzerland. Next to Heidi and the Von Trapps.

Activities: Explore what you like to do in your free time. There are thousands of different hobbies and pastimes to enjoy other than watching TV and playing Pickleball. Explore them. Discover what activities provide you joy, entertainment, and fulfillment.

Key Takeaway

Spend more time in exploration mode. Look for new people, places, activities and things to add to your life to enrich your experience on Earth. Approach life like a college student. Keep your eyes, heart and mind open to discovering more of the great things that will add to your world.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why your experience is worthless until you do this important activity.

There is tremendous value in experience. People with a great deal of experience are typically paid more and command greater respect and authority. I expect that’s why Jimi Hendrix kept asking about it.

But the true value of experience does not come from the experience itself. After all, Elizabeth Taylor had a great deal of marriage experience thanks to her 8 trips down the aisle. And Nick Cannon has a great deal of parenting experience thanks to the 11 kids he’s sired with 6 different women. But few of us would turn to either of them for quality advice on marriage or parenting.

The true value comes not from the experience itself, but from the time we spend reflecting on the experience. It comes from the evaluation of what did and didn’t work. It comes from considering the constants, the variables, and through reflection, the results. (Although I have also found True Value in those cute neighborhood hardware stores.)

It’s your reflection that creates learning and understanding. That’s when the value is gained. You don’t need to have a good experience to learn and grow. In fact, you will often learn more from a bad experience. Because it is the evaluation process that alchemizes both good and bad experiences into valuable experiences. Which means the only experience your won’t profit from is the one you don’t examine.

My friend Anne Norman once called me a master of self-reflection. I was surprised to hear her evaluation. Although, once I reflected on her comment I recognized that I do indeed make self-reflection a priority. It is the engine that drives my self-improvement journey. It is my greatest entrepreneurial asset. It inspires my writing. And it helps me recognize when I have a bat in the cave.

Key Takeaway

Experience is not inherently valuable. Your evaluation of the experience creates the long-lasting value. Take time to reflect on your experiences to understand why you got the results you did. Repeat the actions and behaviors that contributed to good outcomes. Eliminate those that contributed to bad outcomes. That’s how you convert experience into wisdom. And applied wisdom creates the greatest value of all.

If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The 7 simple steps of the self-improvement process.

If you want to get better at anything it is important to understand the self-improvement process. Like a week, and a house full of dwarfs, it is made of 7 parts.

1. Desire is the root of all self-improvement.

If you have no desires you have no life force pushing you to improve or achieve. Or reproduce. So make sure you have a desire. Like U2. Or that streetcar in New Orleans.

2. Your desire leads to goals.

Goals are your wants clearly stated. This gives you a target. Which provides focus and direction. Or obsession. Like Calvin Klein.

3. Goals lead to plans.

Plans define a course of action to bridge the gap between you and your goals. The plan declares how you will get to your goal. It determines how you will change yourself or the world to obtain your goal. So make sure you plan, Stan.

4. Plans drive your calendar.

Your calendar determines what you need to do and when. The when, or the time you carve out to act, is critical. Time is the stage for change. You must first find and protect the time needed to act. Just like an Under Armor athlete must protect this house.

5. Your calendar drives your actions.

Action is the key ingredient of progress. It is the doing. Action is the step on the 1000-mile journey. Repeated actions create habits. Habits create more action. And more action and more action, Jackson.

6. Your actions drive your results.

Your actions create progress and momentum. Actions build the bridge. As you build the bridge you reduce the gap between you and your desire.

7. Your results deliver your desires.

Performing the right actions for long enough will create the results needed to attain the things you desire. Keep going. And keep investing your time until you get what you want.

Key Takeaway

Desire –> Goal –> Plan –> Calendar –> Action –> Result –> Attainment

Remember, the process is simple. Not easy.

If you know someone who could benefit from this formula, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.