Category: personal development

The 2 key ingredients you need for a great year in 2024.

You have just over 2 weeks until you jump into 2024 like David Lee Roth. Which makes now the perfect time to prepare for a great year. It is important to realize that great years don’t just happen on their own. They are created by you, with a strong assist from God.

I have had a lot of great years. And I’ve come to recognize that great years consist of success in 2 key areas. The first area I call PSI, which stands for Productivity and Self-Improvement. The second area I call ME, which stands for Memories and Experiences. (Although you could easily call it EM if you wanted to.)

Your PSI comes from a great routine.

A great routine ensures that you are working, growing and maintaining your mind and body. This is how you build productivity, and self-improvement into your days, weeks and months. This is done by developing strong habits in the following areas:

  • A good sleep schedule
  • Exercise
  • A strong and productive work routine
  • Good eating habits
  • Reading
  • Reflection
  • Prayer
  • Church
  • Meditation
  • Hygiene
  • Laying off the drugs

If you want help developing your own great habits I strongly recommend the book Atomic Habits by James Clear.

Your ME success comes from breaking your routine.

If everything you did was within your routine you wouldn’t create special experiences. And special experiences are critical to developing memories and an interesting, well-flavored life. The routine breaks are where your great stories come from. Because no one wants to hear your story about that time you followed your routine, and things went the way you expected.

Your scheduled routine breaks include:

  • Travel
  • Shows
  • Parties
  • Vacation
  • Competitions
  • Parades
  • Concerts
  • Hikes
  • Romance
  • Practical Jokes
  • Non-required shopping
  • Group Dinners
  • Taking an elective class
  • Reindeer Games

Key Takeaway

As you prepare for a great 2024, make sure you have the ingredients you need for a great year. Develop a strong routine that will help drive strong and productive habits. But then regularly disrupt your routine with special events that will add to your life and your experiences with friends and family. These disruptions are what will create a well-balanced life. Because your success comes from what you do repeatedly. And your memories come from the novel experiences. Together, they provide you with everything you need for a great year and a great life.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to create your own best practice approach to practice.

My 13-year-old son Magnus plays the cello. He has been playing for 4 years and I can tell that he has a natural talent for it. But he doesn’t typically practice the way you need to to Rumplestilskin your raw straw talent into golden skill.

Last week, I tried a different approach to Magnus’ practice routine. I asked him to tell me what he thought an effective practice schedule looks like. He said, ‘I should play all 3 of my songs for the week twice every day. And I should listen to my songs once every day.’ Like everyday people.

While I thought playing the songs twice seemed too light, I wanted his practice plan to be driven by him. So I overruled my judgy internal objection and sustained his proposal.

Following our discussion, something interesting happened. Magnus followed his own prescription for a successful week of cello practice. While it was not Yo-Yo Ma level, The Yo-Yo Magnus approach got good results.

Last night Magnus had his cello lesson. He had the best lesson ever. It happened because he followed his own formula for success. And his formula was self-prescribed at a strength he felt he could sustain for a week. Which is the best way to start. Then, as you enjoy the return on your time invested you are more likely to increase the input to enjoy an even better output.

Key Takeaway

Practicing is the key to self-improvement. But the key to getting yourself to practice is spelling out what you think appropriate practice should look like in your world. Create a plan that works with your timing, your energy and your desired outcome. Once you have set your own plan based on those criteria, you are more likely to follow through and enjoy the return on your invested time.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why it’s important to give yourself credit for small victories.

I went to Puerto Rico on a Guys’ Weekend recently. During the action-packed adventure, my friends Dan Richards, Matt Prince and James Colligan played 11 games of pickleball. I had only played the game twice before. I am not good. But that weekend I played enough to get more intelligent about the game. I am now starting to have ideas on strategies. And techniques. And excuses.

One of my greatest problems, among many others, is that I hit the ball long a lot. As I played more I wouldn’t say I stopped hitting it long. But I could see that I was hitting it less long. My shots or pickles or whatever you call them were inching closer and closer to being in the area I was trying to hit. I recognized that progress as my true, but subtle victory.

pickleball
Me and my guys on our Guys’ Weekend. Despite the fact that I know 4 guys named Guy, none of them joined us on our trip.
I guess if your name is Guy, every weekend is a Guys Weekend.

When you are learning a new skill it is important not to simply see success and failure. Pass and fail. Or right and wrong. It is valuable to recognize your progress. To note your closer and closer approximations. To identify your good misses. Like Doubtfire, Butterworth and Fields.

Skill acquisition doesn’t happen overnight. It happens as a creep towards correct. The key is to increase the percentage of times you get it right. And to shrink your range of variation. Recognize your improvement along the way, even when you are still not doing things correctly. Because it proves that you are on the right track. And it provides the encouragement you need to keep going.

Key Takeaway

When learning new skills look for small wins. Recognize the improvements that don’t show up on the scoreboard. Give yourself permission to be an amateur. It’s not about hitting the bullseye. It’s about throwing the dart, taking feedback from where it hits, and correcting accordingly. Then just keep adjusting, attempting and learning until you can’t miss. But be patient. It will take a while. All worthwhile things do.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How do you compare to other successful people?

There are people who are doing life better than you. They are more successful than you. They are happier. They have better careers and better relationships. And they are more enlightened on their spiritual journeys. They even have better teeth than you. Not that there is anything really wrong with your teeth. Most of your teeth are good.

But you are also doing life better than a lot of other people. In fact, there are people who would trade places with you in a hummingbird’s heartbeat. They envy your success, happiness, career, and relationships. They are also jealous of your good teeth.

Perspective Calibration

It’s important to remember both of these groups. Those who are doing better than you give you something to strive for. They provide a higher standard for you to hit. They are valuable reminders that you can do better and be better. (You better, you better, you bet.)

Those ahead of you help spur your growth. Which is a valuable gift. Plus, when you catch up to these people, and then pass them, it makes for a great scene in the movie version of your life. Which can now be made thanks to the end of the Hollywood actors’ strike.

However, just as you look to those ahead of you, others look to you as a model to strive for. Yes, others aspire to be on your level. These people provide a valuable perspective on how much you have, how good you are, how far you have come, and how much you have to be grateful for. Remember this as you dig into your cranberries and yams.

Key Takeaway

Always look both ways. See those who are better than you, and let them inspire you to grow and improve. But also see those who are behind you on the continuum of growth and development. They help you recognize your own successes, accomplishments, and gifts. Appreciating your strengths and successes yet seeing all that is still possible ahead is the golden spot in life. That valuable real estate is available to everyone willing to recognize that they are already there.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Create a new and improved version of yourself every day.

The world is iterative. There are new and improved versions of everything all the time. Software, apps, iPhones, laundry detergent, and watermelon. It all just keeps getting better, more valuable, and more seedless.

You have to do the same thing. Every day you should go to bed as a better version of yourself than you were when you woke up.

You will naturally learn something new every day. But if you are not actively directing your learning then the things you learn may be of little value. By following the tabloids you might learn that Matthew Perry died. But that won’t help you much unless you are a funeral director, casting director, or tabloid publisher.

Force yourself to learn something new and valuable every day. Read. Study. Subscribe to a newsletter. Listen to a helpful podcast. Get one of those 365-day Calendars. Some of my best learnings have come from those things. Seriously.

Work on your habits. They make improvements automatic. Like that Pointer Sisters song.

Improve your physical, mental, emotional, and psychological fitness too. Never settle. Settling is for dust. And 1800s pioneers.

They say that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. But you are not a dog. Humans can learn tricks and improve themselves all the way to the last station. So let’s do this, dawg!

Key Takeaway

Always be improving yourself. Today. Tomorrow. And every day after that. You do this by starting to do better things. You stop doing bad things. Read. Study successful people. Educate yourself. Learn from your mistakes and missteps. This creates new and improved versions of You every day. And there is no limit to how great you can ultimately be.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

4 Halloween tricks to success that can benefit you every day.

It’s Halloween! Today is one of the most interesting days of the year. If aliens landed on Earth today they would have a very different impression of the place than if they landed on, say, Saint Patrick’s Day. (Note: Earthlings are all green and smell like cabbage and alcohol.)

But hidden under the clown masks and Freddy Kreuger costumes are important life lessons. As you go about your day today note these 4 tricks to success from Halloween that can benefit you any day.

Dress the part.

If you don’t wear a costume you are not likely to get candy. Remember that when you go on a job interview, a new business pitch, or a date. Portraying the right image is important. Perception is reality. At The Weaponry our dress code is simple: Dress the way you want people to see you. Also, today, make sure to really wear clothes. Halloween shouldn’t be an excuse to walk around in your underwear. (That last point is really just a note to self. You do you.)

Ask for what you want.

On Halloween, people walk up to total strangers, ask for a treat, and get it. It’s a great reminder to ask for what you want. Often it’s just that easy. Here’s more proof.

Things look scarier than they really are.

Those ghosts, goblins, and Tammy Faye Bakkers you see at Halloween may look scary on the surface. But peak a little closer and you realize that they only look scary. It’s really just the kid down the street. Or Sally from accounting. Many of the most intimidating things in life are not that scary once you actually confront them. I discovered this about entrepreneurship, writing a book, buying my own health insurance, and raising teenagers.

The more doors you knock on the more doors will open for you.

When a kid comes home with a pillowcase loaded with candy you know that they went to a lot of houses. Because the more doors you knock on the more doors open. And the more doors that open the more John Candy you get. It is true at Halloween. And it is true in sales, job hunting, fundraising, dating, and advertising. Knocking on doors creates opportunity. And opportunity turns into success.

Key Takeaway

Happy Halloween! To be successful today, remember to dress the part. Know that things look scarier than they really are. Ask for what you want. And the more doors you knock on the more doors will open for you. Also, check your candy before you eat it. And if you have any extra Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups, send them my way.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

I was given $200 I could spend on anything. Here’s what I bought with it.

Three years ago $200 fell out of the sky and into my hand. No, it wasn’t 20,000 pennies from Heaven. That would have been cool. But life-threatening.

Gusto, the online payroll processing vendor that The Weaponry uses to pay our people, ran a referral promotion that allowed us to share our referral code with others. If someone we referred signed up for Gusto we would both get a $200 gift card. And when my friend Theresa Pride, owner of Pride Physique Pilates and Physical Therapy in Atlanta ran her first payroll we both received our Amazon gift cards.

This created a fun opportunity. Because Amazon sells almost every product under the sun. (Or under the moon if you shop at night.) So I could buy practically any product on the planet that costs $200 or less. I felt like I was at Chuck E Cheese’s and got to choose anything on the prize wall valued at $200 or less. It was a little kid’s dream come true for this big kid.

What Will I Do?

As I pondered my opportunity my mind returned to my favorite childhood book, Farmer Boy by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I have read that book more times than any other book.

One of my favorite stories in the book recounts a time when Almanzo Wilder was at his town’s 4th of July celebration and his cousin dared him to ask his Dad for a nickel to buy a lemonade. Nervously, Almanzo asks his father for the nickel. After a long thoughtful moment, Almanzo’s Pa pulls a 50-cent piece out of his pocket (not out of Da Club) and reminds Almanzo about all of the hard farm work that goes into earning 50 cents. He hands Almanzo the coin and tells him he can buy the lemonade, drink it up and it will be gone. Or he can use the money to buy a suckling pig, raise it up, and sell it at a significant profit. You know, farm stuff.

Almanzo quickly recognized the opportunity to turn his 50 cents into far more value by investing it, rather than spending it. He bought the pig.

150 years later Almanzo inspired me to do the same thing. Only not with a pig.

Investing vs Spending

I could have used the $200 Amazon gift card to buy practically anything. But I chose to invest it in books for my library.

I invested the money in my own education. And I learned far more than $200 worth.

I learned lessons that make me better at my job. I learned lessons that make me a better person. I bought books that inspire me to do more, to recognize opportunity, and to think bigger.

Here are the books that I bought and added to my library and to my personal knowledge:

Grit by Angela Duckworth

Never Split The Difference By Chris Voss

The 4 Disciplines of Execution by Chris ‘Don’t Call Me McKenny’ McChesney

The Richest Man in Babylon by George Clason

Principles by Ray Dalio  (This is not about people who lead schools)

Start With Why by Simon Sinek  (I heard this inspired The Carpenters to write the lyrics to Close To You)

Pitch Anything by Oren Klaff

Estimating Rehab Costs by J Scott. (This is about rehabbing properties, not going to rehab.)

So Good They Can’t Ignore You by Cal Newport

Cashflow Quadrant by Robert Kiyosaki

The Book on Rental Property Investing by Brandon Turner

The Innovators Dilemma by Clayton Christensen

The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz

Call Me Ted by Ted Turner

While I spent $200 on these books, I couldn’t possibly calculate all the value I have received in return. I highly recommend all of these books.

Key Takeaway:

Remember not to just spend on yourself. Invest in yourself. Invest in your education, your skills, and your motivation. I hope you get to experience a fun and revealing test like this. And I hope you put thought into it, so you get a great deal out of it like I did.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The best way to be successful is to find and focus on this one thing.

You have a valuable talent. Everyone does. You probably have more than one. But just being born with a valuable talent doesn’t make it valuable. Sorry, Charlie.

To unlock the value of your natural talent you need to do 3 things:

  1. You have to recognize what your valuable talent is.
  2. You have to develop that talent.
  3. You must find opportunities to put your talent to work where it creates value.

Valuable talents could be anything. Here is a non-exhaustive list to get your introspector introspecting.

  • Listening
  • Organizing
  • Remembering
  • Strategizing
  • Pruf Reeding
  • Creativity
  • Drawing Attention
  • Details
  • Humor
  • Caring
  • Impersonating Arron Neville.
  • Managing
  • Sales
  • Art
  • Picking Locks
  • Throwing Parties
  • Music
  • Teaching
  • Making Long Lists Less Boring To Read
  • Math
  • Words
  • Energy
  • Vision
  • Mechanics
  • Relationships
  • Looking good (This talent pairs well with all others)
  • Discovering talent in others

Key Takeaway

Don’t waste time trying to strengthen your weaknesses. That doesn’t unlock the kind of value that will make you highly successful. Instead, focus on your talents. Discover them. Develop them. Put yourself in situations where you can use them every day.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to use the power of regret to live your best life today.

Imagine for a moment you got the news that you have one day to live. Just one. And it’s not Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney. (Nice try though.) You have enough time to say goodbye to your closest friends and family. But not enough time to add to your life resume in any meaningful way. I know this is a bummer. It’s supposed to be.

Now, take a moment to reflect.

What do you regret not doing during your time on the planet?

  • Travel?
  • Starting a business?
  • Writing your book?
  • The relationship you left unrelated?
  • Being scared?
  • Not giving back?
  • Not being your true self?
  • Too little time with loved ones?
  • That person you murdered?
  • Not buying life insurance?

The good news is, as far as I know, you have more than one day left.

The even better news is that you now know what to do with your time left. Do those things you would regret not doing now. Or stop doing the things you would regret not stopping now. That way, when you get to the real end of your story you will have more ‘I dids!’ and fewer ‘I wish I hads.’

The Proof

I gave myself this Regret Test on the eve of my 40th birthday. The regrets that surfaced inspired me to start my own business (The Weaponry), write a book (What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say?), travel more internationally, coach my kids’ sports teams, take redeye flights home from work trips to maximize time with my family and donate blood. The Regret Test offered the most important question I have ever asked myself. I encourage you to do the same.

Key Takeaway

Regret is a powerful tool. It helps you recognize the relative value of alternative outcomes. Tap into the power of regret to inspire your next actions. And start doing the things you wish you had done now, before it is too late.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to respond to your imperfections like a manufacturing facility does.

I am trying to get better all the time. But the reality is that I am not always better.

I’m building good habits. But I still have bad habits too.

I try to be patient and kind. But I still get angry, lose my temper, and say naughty words.

I try to be a doer. But too often I procrastinate. (Although sometimes I don’t procrastinate until later.)

I try not to let my phone take attention away from my family and friends. But then I’ll find something hilarious on social media, or wonder about the Wordle word, or get a notification about the famous person from the 80s who got eaten by a snake, and just have to click on it to find out if it was David Coverdale.

Why? Why?

Tell em that it’s human nature.

But I keep trying.

And I don’t let my lesser actions and behaviors define me. Or confirm that I am not actually getting better. I know I am.

Instead, I always think about those signs you see in a factory that count the number of days they have gone without a workplace injury. They are reminders of your accumulated success. And encouragement to keep the streak alive. And presumably the people too.

So I have counters in my head, on my phone, and on pieces of paper around my house tallying my successful days doing or not doing various things. The streaks feel good. So I focus on extending them and not breaking the chain. But when I do, I reset the clock, start again, and try to go longer, if not forever.

Key Takeaway

Self-improvement is directional. It is not about absolutes. Increase the number of days and times you do the right things the way you want to do them in your head. Do the good things more. Do the bad things less. Focus on building your streaks. A winning streak is an uninterrupted sequence of successes. That should always be your goal. Just keep adding days. Go as long as you can without messing up. The goal is to be better for the rest of your life. But if you break the chain, always start a new chain and try again.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.