I recently saw an update on LinkedIn about one of my contacts touting the fact that she had reached 5000 connections on LinkedIn. It is an impressive number, for sure. But I am concerned that the number is more quantity than quality. Like the full library of Pauly Shore movies.
I have a rule when it comes to accepting or requesting LinkedIn connections. We have to actually have some connection. We have to have had an encounter or experience together. Or when you contact me, we have to develop a relationship based on something or someone we know in common. In other words, when I file you away in the card catalog in my head, there has to be something meaningful to write on the card besides your Dewey Decimal System number.
By applying these rules I maintain the value of my network. If someone contacts me and says, “I see you know Morris Day. What can you tell me about him?’ or ‘I see we both know Nikki! How do you know her?’ I like to have a great answer and provide value to others in my network. For example:
Yes, I know Morris Day! We met in a jungle. Morris LOVES jungles. And birds.
or
Of course I know Nikki! She’s darling. I met her in a hotel lobby. It’s kind of a crazy story…
When I don’t know someone, but let them into my network, it dilutes the value of my network. And in a small way, it dilutes me as a valuable resource to others.
I currently have 2,939 connections on LinkedIn. I have 1,565 friends on Facebook. But if you asked me about any of them I can tell you how we know each other. And I can tell you a bit about who they are. (And if they are a pirate I can even tell you how they Arrrgh.) So if you notice that I know someone that you want to know, or want to know more about, let me know. #rare4knowsentence
Key Takeaway
If you’re just collecting people, places or things then anything goes. There is no discernment. But if you want to add real value you must curate. You must care for your collection. Criteria must be set, and met. It is true at work, in your network, and in your principles and values. It is true in your personal life. It applies to your social media and the people you vouch for. Remember, the more challenging your criteria, the more value you create.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
Here we are at the beginning of a new year. Just as each new day presents an opportunity for improvement, each new year presents an opportunity to write a great new chapter in the story of your life. You get to decide if this year brings rising action, a plot twist, the climax, falling action, or if pages are missing and the story doesn’t make any sense.
Remember, Life is Short and Precious.
Last Thursday night I received the type of call you never want to get. My brother-in-law, John Scufsa’s mom, Pat Marsnik, was killed in a terrible car accident. She was out with her husband Ray and brother Bob celebrating Pat and Ray’s wedding anniversary when another driver crossed into their lane near Ely, Minnesota. The accident put a final period on an outstanding story. Pat was in her early 70s and still full of twinkles. She had been an important member of my family for over 25 years. She was a wonderful, warm, friendly, funny woman who no one here on Earth was ready to part with it.
But let Pat Marsnik’s unexpected passing be a reminder that our time here is limited. You never know when your final page will be written. You have to take advantage of the time you have been given. Just like Pat did.
My Mantra for 2022.
There is a phrase that has been pinging in my brain the last few days: Be More You in 2022.
It is a reminder to do more of the things that your ideal you would do. Take on the great challenges. Grow. Go. Improve yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually. Develop more and better relationships. Mend fences. Heal wounds. Build bridges. Read. Learn. Travel. Go snipe hunting. Try the Rocky Mountain oyster BOGO special.
In 2022 you have to do things on your bucket list. Take initiative. Take on greater challenges. Do things that scare you. Make the year an amazing part of your story.
Get going. Live your life as if you don’t have a lot of time left to become who you always wanted to be. Pick a couple of big things to focus on this year. Add some small, easy wins. Get a little bit better every day. And be more you in 2022.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
The beginning of each year is full of hope. Hope that the next 365 days will be full of success, progress, fun, friendship and fulfillment. But as my friend Steve Swanson is fond of saying, hope is not a strategy. I learned long ago that if you want to have a great year you have to make your year great. You do this through both your actions and your mindset.
Now that all 365 slices of 2021 are toasted, buttered and eaten, I am taking a moment to reflect on the things that made my 2021 great. If you haven’t done this yet, today is the day to do it. Recognizing the good things in our lives humbles and happies us. So let’s get to it!
21 Things I am thankful for from 2021.
This Blog: I love having a blog to share my thoughts and experiences. I love that I can write anything I want here. I can even make up words, and no one can tell me they are not real words. They are real as soon as you use them. Innovation comes from writing. Remember, all of our words were once made up. You don’t have to be Latin or Greek. You can just be dumb. Or be Will Ferrell playing George W. Bush.
Write on.
2. The Hot Housing Market: This year the housing market has been as hot as it has ever been. Like Nashville Chicken hot. Or Death Valley hot. Or Pam and Tommy home video hot. Which is great if you have a house to sell. I started 2021 with 2 homes and sold them both. Which allowed me and my family to start a new chapter this year.
3. Our New House: My family found our long-term Wisconsin home this year. We had been looking for our next house for over 2 years. On June 17th we walked into our new house the day it went on the market. We made an offer that day because of the Pam & Tommy market conditions. The offer was accepted within 15 hours. We moved into our new home in September. It is our family’s nest. It is the main stage for our lives. And it is a source of pride. Now, we are trying to fill the home with great memories. And trying to figure out what all the light switches are for.` (If you are in Milwaukee and want a great, and patient Real Estate Pro, contact Jaime Lubner.)
4. Family. I couldn’t be more thankful for my family. My wife Dawn and kids Ava, Johann and Magnus are incredible, talented and funny people to do life with. I was able to see my parents, sisters, nieces, and nephews this year. Plus, my extended family of aunts, uncles and cousins extends farther than most. My mom is one of 9 kids and my Dad is one of 12. I role deep with family on both the Albrecht and Sprau branches of my family tree. Which gives me lots of options when I need to post bail.
Our first Christmas in our new house.
5. The Weaponry Launching The Weaponry, the advertising and ideas agency that I started 5 years ago was one of the best moves of my life. (At least it was one of the best moves not made on a dancefloor. #amiright) It has taught me the importance of taking responsibility for everything in my life. It has filled my life with great people. And it has provided a project to continuously improve. A business is a great tool to do good in the world. And I feel like we are just getting started with all that we can do with this tool.
6. My Work Teammates. An organization is simply a collection of humans working towards a common goal. My fellow Weapons are amazingly talented and good people. We have been able to grow our team this year. And each new teammate helps expand and improve who we are as a collective. It’s amazing to experience the expansion of good in a way that doesn’t land you a starring role on My 600-Pound Life.
7. Old Friends I had a major high school reunion in 2021. And I was concerned that the reunion wouldn’t happen. Both because of Covid, and because nobody really wants to plan a high school reunion. But if you really want to have a reunion you have to be willing to make it happen. So I planned my Hanover High School class reunion in Hanover, New Hampshire from 1000 miles away in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. And like they said in Field of Dreams, if you build it they will come. Classmates gathered from all over the country. Some whom I hadn’t seen since graduation. And while it takes someone to plan such a thing, it takes people showing up to make it real. I appreciate all of my classmates and their families for showing up and making our together time real.
Some reunion pics.Some other reunion pics.
8. Vaccines: Covid-19 really has thrown us a curveball over the past 2 years. I really appreciate the 3 companies that have developed the Covid vaccines. They enable us to experience life much closer to normal. My whole family has been vaccinated with Pfizer’s magic defender. My 11-year old son Magnus just got full-vax status before Thanksgiving. I got my booster yesterday. Get your vaccine if you are able. It’s not a conspiracy. I’ve seen a lot of wealthy, educated Waspy men doing it. And they are the ones to be suspicious of.
9. My Book: In 2020, during the Covid Lockdown, I started writing my first book calledWhat Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? I finished the first draft by Memorial Day 2020. I finished the second draft by the end of 2020. I have spent 2021 working on the publishing process. The book was picked up by independent publisher Ripples Media. I received the first copy I ordered from Amazon on December 19th, 2021. The reviews have been amazing. I am so thankful for everyone who has taken a flyer on buying this new book from a first-time author. I was committed to writing something that would help readers learn a little, laugh a little and lift a little. I can’t wait to see where we go from here. In case it goes really well I am studying how to be an intriguing recluse. #JDSalinger
The first time I held my own book.
10. Coaching Track & Field: My daughter Ava was a freshman track athlete at Homestead High School in Mequon, Wisconsin this past spring. To ensure that she had a coach that could help her with the shot put and discus I offered to coach her and her throwing teammates. Although I never imagined myself as a high school coach, it was an extremely rewarding experience. Ava had a strong freshman season. She became the second-best freshman discus thrower in school history. She made it to the Division 1 state meet, where she was the top freshman finisher. I really enjoyed coaching all of the girls on the team, not just Ava. It was incredibly rewarding to see the progress the ladies made throughout the season. And I was especially thankful to be able to work with my 2 seniors, Sammi and Bella during the spring of their senior year. It was rewarding to add a fun final chapter to their Covid-Era high school experience. In the process, l learned as much as they did.
My varsity throwers.
11. Coaching Youth Football: In the fall of 2022, I helped coach my son Magnus’ 5th-grade tackle football team. It was an amazing experience that brought back memories from my own football experience. While I helped coach positions, plays, techniques and drills, I considered myself the Hype Coach. And these kids got hyped! It was fun to be a part of. And I look forward to more. If you have a chance to coach youth sports you should absolutely do it. Unless you are terrible with kids.
Not a bad way to spend fall of 2021.
Magnus and Me.
12. A Home Full of Music: My 3 kids all play instruments. Ava plays violin and guitar. Johann plays piano, saxophone and violin. Not to mention harmonica and melodica. (Although I did just mention them.) Magnus plays cello and piano. My house is often full of wonderful live music. It gets better every year. And I already know I will miss it when it’s gone.
13. Podcasts: I have accelerated my consumption of podcasts this year, Kobayashi-style. Specifically when driving or mowing the lawn. I have learned a great deal from these audio interviews and lessons. The podcasts I listen to are like mini-courses. So I get a little smarter every time I drive to or from work or cruise around my lawn on my John Deere.
14. Seaside, Florida: Our family spent spring break in Seaside a year after we originally intended to because Covid tries to ruin everything. Our experience was excellent. We ran into 3 different friends and their families while we were there. It was definitely a highlight of our year. And our kids loved it because it was like a family-friendly Panama City for teenagers with bicycles.
My daughter Ava skimboarding in Seaside.
15. Friends All Over I continue to be thankful for my friends and family all over the world. As I traveled in 2021 I saw my people in real life in California, Texas, Minnesota, Atlanta, Florida, Indiana, Ohio, Boston, Vermont, New Hampshire and Wisconsin. It makes me feel at home everywhere. I want more of that in 2022.
A great day of water stuff on Mascoma Lake in New Hampshire with the Richards Family.
16. The Gym I was thankful to get back to the gym regularly in 2021. After a funky Covid situation in 2020 and early 2021 that forced me to exercise at home, I got back to working out at the sports club where we are members. The gym offers good mental and physical therapy for me. I would feel a lot more like an angry David Banner without regular trips to the gym. (Although as of this week I am pausing that again because of Covid. Fortunately, we have weights at home. You wouldn’t like to see me without weights at home. #namethatshow)
17. Cheese Curds I increased my cheese curd consumption in 2021. And I am happier because of it.
18. Great Clients I am extremely lucky to have really wonderful clients at The Weaponry. I appreciate all of the work they have entrusted us with this past year. But it’s the personal relationships that I enjoy the most. We work with great people. That makes all the difference. (That, and taking the road less traveled by.)
19. Great Collaborators We also work with some really great collaborators at The Weaponry. There are production companies, editors, photographers, freelancers, developers, influencers, agents, accountants and more. They make the work we do better and more fun. Here’s to much more in 2022.
Some Weapons and some Outsiders in California last month.
20. Being Able to Buy New Cars My wife and I both came into 2021 with cars that were 10 or more years old. We have been able to buy new cars. Not have new cars. Dawn’s car had to be ordered and won’t be here until February or March. (Notice that the global supply chain is not on my list of favorite things of 2021.)
21. A New Driver In The Family: My daughter Ava turned 16 in September. I am thankful and excited for her new adventures, and thankful that I am not the only option to run to the store when we need a loaf of bread, a carton of milk, and a stick of butter.
My new driver.
Bonus Round
22. Live Concerts: My family and I all went to see The Zac Brown Band in concert at Summerfest in Milwaukee this year. It was great to get back to live music again. Although ZBB had to cancel concert dates the week after we saw them because of Covid. So we’re not totally out of The Woods. Which is also a ZBB song.
Key Takeaway
Happiness is the great win in life. Recognize what makes you happy. Study it. Do more of it. And thank you for reading my writings and for contributing to my happiness. Let’s all have a great, safe and healthy 2022. #BeMoreYouIn2022
*If you’ve read this far and would like to read more good stuff to kick off 2022, consider my new bookWhat Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. There’s a fortune cookie in it for you.
I had a really great Christmas Day. In fact, it was nearly perfect. I say nearly perfect because it would have been perfect-perfect if we had seen more family. Or if we had snow. Or if Jesus had stopped by to do an Instagram Live from our house. But given the current conditions, I was happy to celebrate with my wife and 3 kids at home. For this category of celebration, I give my day a full 5 out of 5 Bethlehem stars.
Contributing Factors
This was an exciting holiday because it was the first Christmas in our new home. We moved into the house in September. It is the 5th house my wife Dawn and I have owned. And by Christmas Day not only did it feel like home, it felt like THE home we have been looking for the past 19 years. Which is a great reminder to keep looking for the places in life that make you feel most at home
The home was a great stage for a great day, but we still had to put on a great play. And we did. Our morning began with opening presents, like most Christmas Day celebrations. Then we enjoyed a donut and candy breakfast. We had coffee, cocoa and eggnog to help wash down the sugar with more sugar, Buddy Elf-style. I was a little afraid Wolford Brimley was going to show up to talk to me about diabetes.
Then came the most important part of what made yesterday so great. After breakfast, I asked Dawn, our kids Ava, Johann, Magnus a simple question:
‘What would we have to do today to make this a really great Christmas day?
The answers came quickly:
Play Games
Watch a Christmas movie
Take a nap
Enjoy some free time
Go for a family walk
Enjoy a nice family dinner (#HamNight)
Go for a drive to look at Christmas lights
We had a good list. So we ordered the events, baked in some flexibility for the napping and free time, and then we started knocking off the things on our Christmas list.
The Recipe For A Great Day
We had literally written a recipe for a great day. Then one by one, we stirred in each of the ingredients. We spent the day enjoying a few of our favorite things, like Julie Andrews. Only we weren’t wearing our curtains.
The day ended with a great Christmas dinner, followed by a Christmas lights drive, and a family movie. The day was fun, funny and relaxing. We laughed a lot, even for us. We created new memories. And there was a very satisfying and enjoyable feeling of recreational productivity. Which is the feeling of making the most of your free time.
The Bonus
As a fun Christmas bonus, I had friends and family members from across the country share that they had received the new book I just published with Ripples Media called What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? I received really exciting feedback and photos of my book in homes from New England to Los Angeles, and from Atlanta to Oregon. So far no one has asked for a refund.
I went to bed about 11:30 pm feeling as if I had had the greatest day. Because we had envisioned a great day, designed it, and brought it to life. We made the most of our free time and enjoyed it together. As result, we finished the day feeling both happy and accomplished.
The Thing I Didn’t Do
As an interesting aside, there is one traditional Christmas activity I didn’t do yesterday. I didn’t open any presents. Not one. Dawn and I usually exchange our gifts after the kids have opened all of theirs. But our plan for the perfect day didn’t include our gift exchange. Oops. And by the evening we agreed to push our present opening to tomorrow, like Little Orphan Annie.
The Greatest Gift
My wonderful giftless Christmas was a great reminder that time spent together, making memories, doing our favorite free things, is the greatest gift of all. Well, that and the birth of tiny little 8-pound baby Jesus, who came for our eternal salvation. But you put those two things together and you have one heck of a holiday gift pack.
Key Takeaway
A great holiday doesn’t happen on its own. You have to make it happen. The same holds true of any workday, schoolday, or Saturday. To make the most of your days plan them. Envision your perfect day, then bring it to life. Do this day after day, and you will live the life you imagined.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
This is a really exciting week for me. And not just because of Christmas and that Michael Buble Christmas Special/Bubly Sparkling water commerical on NBC last night.
This week I published my first book called What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? It’s a project I have been working on for nearly 2 years. You may think that publishing a book is like running a marathon. It is not. It’s like running 3 different marathons. So you will want to carb up before hand.
The 1st Marathon
The first marathon starts with the idea for the book. It includes all of the researching, writing, and re-writing. It ends when you think you have something worth sharing. Sharing your manuscript is kinda like getting into good enough shape that you wouldn’t mind if someone saw you naked. It’s kinda awkward. You’re kinda proud and excited. But you don’t know how you stack up against the other people your publishing partner has seen naked. It’s fun and interesting. As long as they don’t pull out a laser pointer to point out your remaing flaws.
The first step to writing a book is to sit down and write. Or stand up and write if you have one of those stand-up desks. But that doesn’t sound as good. So sit down to start, just so that you can say you did.
The 2nd Marathon
The second marathon is getting the book published. Which includes researching your publishing options, deciding whether to self-publish, other-publish, or a hybrid option. (I published with the amazing team at Ripples Media.) Then you work to eliminate all of the flaws in your book and add anything that may be missing. And things will definitely be missing. This part is like preparing to go to the ball. You get a literary spray tan, botox, and mani-pedi. You get your eyebrows on fleek. You get your hair did. Then you are ready to jump in your carriage, which was recently a pumpkin, and head to the Amazon Ball.
There is my new baby book on Amazon! (I now keep this picture in my wallet.)
The 3rd Marathon
Today, I am at the very beginning of the third marathon. My book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say?is published and available on Amazon in both physical and digital form. It’s easy to assume that this is the finish line. It is not. It is critical to remember that getting your book published is simply the end of the second marathon. Now it is time to let the world know your book exists.
A beautiful finished book is a powerful thing. Perhaps the most powerful thing on Earth after the human mind. Because a great book can teach, inspire, entertain, and make you snort cofee out of your nose.
But people have to know about your book in order for it to do the job it was born to do. Others have to be aware that the book exists. They need to understand that there is real value in the book for the reader. They need to know that other people read the book and felt like it was worth their time and their money. Which is why you need to promote the book.
People will also want to know about you, the author. Who are you? Why did you write the book? What is your story? What is the story behind the story? Who have you seen naked? Did you use the laser pointer on them?
Me talking to a class at Marquette Univeristy. Letting people know what I know.
The author’s story is often the bridge to the book itself. This is why the big publishing companies would rather work with famous people. The public has already bought into them. So they will naturally buy their books too. I know it’s lazy, but it’s true.
Key Takeaway
When you commit to writing a book, commit to running all 3 marathons. Write a great manuscript that offers real value to others. Publish your book. Then promote it so that it can have the greatest positive impact on the world. And we all have a world-improving book in us. I hope you write yours.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
I have always wanted to write a book. In fact, I have envisioned myself writing a whole shelf of books. But I could never seem to find the time to make it a priority. My other responsibilities as a business owner and parent seemed to keep getting in the way. (But based on the headline you read that drew you into this story something must have changed, right? Indeed it did.)
On March 16, 2020, the world went into lockdown mode. There was almost nothing to do outside the home but shop for groceries, hunt for toilet paper, and resanitize your hands, again. During that strange time, I started pulling together ideas for 3 different book concepts I considered writing.
Then, in April of 2020, the Governor announced that the state of Wisconsin would be locked at home until May 26th. My first reaction was that this was a real load of lemons. Then, like Hulk Hogan refusing to remain on the mat, I recognized that it was Country Time! Time to make some good old fashion lemonade!*
Within minutes of learning of the extended lockdown, I recognized the gift I had been given. It was the perfect time to focus on writing the first draft of my first book. Then I gave myself a false deadline. Because that is how I get myself to do big things I am not required to do.
My self-imposed deadline: Deliver a full first draft of my first book by May 25th, 2020. (Which is also my birthday.)
On my birthday I gave myself an epic gift. I had a 50,000-word rough draft finished. By December 30, 2020, I had a second draft written. I spent 2021 learning the publishing process.
Today, I am thrilled to say that my first book is fully baked, birthed, bound, and buyable. Even better, I really love the book.
I was tracking the delivery driver on Sunday and greeted him in my driveway like a long last relative. #BrothersGottaHug
The first time I held my paper baby in my hand.
What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say?
My goal in writing this book was to make sure that everyone who reads What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say learns a little, laughs a little, and lifts a little. It’s a very positive and optimistic book that offers 80 life lessons that have the power to contribute significantly to your happiness and success. These are all things that have really worked for me. And I wanted to share them because I believe they will work for anyone who applies them.
But I also wanted to write a book that was fun and easy to read. The chapters are quick and enjoyable, punctuated with humor. The book contains several made-up words that spellcheck and my proofreader didn’t know how to process. Which was fun for me.
It is smooth like a baby book’s butt.
My friend Jeff Hilimire told me that when he read the book he laughed out loud every other chapter. I found that to be far more rewarding feedback than winning a Pulitzer or a Newberry. In fact, I think we should have a Giggler BookAward for good books that make us laugh. We could put a gold foil laughing-till-you-cry emoji on our book covers. I would buy all of those Giggler books.
Showing my boys my book. Seeing this picture I am reminded of the great influence we have on our children. And that I really need to get us all haircuts.
The Details
Title:What does your fortune cookie say?
Subhead: 80 Life lessons the universe is trying to share with you.
Also: I have bulk-ordered both paperback and hardcover copies for promotional activities, for those who want signed copies, for book talks, speaking engagements, and for bribing librarians to drop my late fees.
My wife Dawn, reading my thank you to her in the back of the book. Although she is a fast reader, she may have skipped a few pages to get to the end.
What’s Next:
Now I’ve finished running the writing marathon. Which means I start running the book promotion marathon. I expect to learn a ton along the way. I plan to share my learnings so that everyone can benefit from my experience. Because I want you to be smarter and better prepared when you’re ready to write and publish your book. Everyone has a book in them. Including you.
The front cover. Thanks to my teammate at The Weaponry, Joe Kayse for the design. And thanks to everyone who voted on the cover design. This was the runaway winner. Like Julie Roberts in that movie where she wouldn’t get married.
Some nice things people are saying about the book. You can scan that QR code and it will take you to a website about the book. Or visit fortunecookiebook.com.
Key Takeaway
Set big goals for yourself. Then create false deadlines to help you achieve those goals. Keep taking small actions. Those actions keep adding up. And before you know it your words turn into sentences. Sentences turn into paragraphs. Paragraphs turn into chapters. And chapters turn into a book worth reading. The story of your life works the same way. So write a little more of it every day.
*For younger readers, this is a pop culture reference to an ad campaign for Country Time Lemonade from my childhood. Country Time was what we drank when we weren’t drinking Kool-Aid. We didn’t have your fancy Capri Suns and juice boxes.
At the end of a gym workout recently my son Magnus asked if we could go sit in the hot tub. I said yes, and we made our way to the pool area. When we got to the hot tub there was one other guy already in it. After we settled into the water I greeted the guy, who was staring out the window, and we began to speak. (Which is also how the song The Gambler starts.)
As the conversation proceeded I asked him where he was from and what he does for work. He shared that he grew up near Mequon, Wisconsin, the town north of Milwaukee where we both live. And when he is not hot tubbing, he works at a nice job for a good company.
Then he asked me where I was from (Vermont), where I went to school (The University of Wisconsin), and what I do for work. I told him I owned my own business. I started my own advertising and ideas agency called The Weaponry.
My pruney new hot tub friend told me The Weaponry was a cool name for an ad agency. Then he revealed to me with great resignation, ‘I always wanted to start my own business. But now I am too old.’
I asked, ‘How old are you?’
He answered, ‘I am 37.’
I shot back, ‘F**k you. I was 42 when I started The Weaponry. This is a great time to start a business. And a great time to stop making excuses.’
(I should also mention that my son Magnus was cooling off in the swimming pool at that time. So he didn’t get hit with f-shrapnel when I dropped my f-bomb.)
“It is never too late to be what you might have been.”
― George Eliot
Key Takeaway
If there is something you’ve always wanted to do, then do it. Do the things the kid version or young adult version of you wanted to do. You are not too old. It’s not too late. It’s time to get going. Now you have 2 weeks to plan the great thing you are going to start doing with your life in 2022.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
I am not a perfectionist. Perfectionism is a curse. While it pushes you to create the highest quality result possible, it is paralyzing. Because life is not perfect. And if you need it to be you are highly unlikely to get the first version of a new creation out the door in time to make a difference. A difference to you, to the world, to those you can serve.
Instead of a perfectionist’s mindset, I have adopted a pancake-making mindset. If you have ever flipped a flapjack you would bet Mrs. Butterworth that the first pancake won’t turn out quite right. There is some combination of temperature, oil, and griddle seasoning that can’t seem to get synchronized in time to make that first pancake just right. So it always falls short of the glory.
But don’t let that frustrate you. Ask yourself, ‘What would Denny of Denny’s do?’ (#WWDODD or simply #WWDD)
The Prince of Pancakes would work through that first pancake and get to the next round of griddl’n. Because the improvement in the next batch of pancakes is always remarkable.
Real World Example
Right now I am putting the finishing touches on my first book called, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? And I can’t help but think that I have done something wrong in the creation of this book. Maybe I should have made it different in some way. Maybe it should have been longer. Or shorter. Or funnier. After all, I never sprayed milk out my nose while proofreading it.
Maybe my dedication is off. I reworded it about 25 times. (Which shows my dedication to my dedication.) Maybe my bio is too unbio-y. Maybe I didn’t finish it early enough, which caused me to miss the bulk of the holiday gift-giving window. Maybe I shared too much value and would have been better off splitting it into multiple books. Like a cliffhanger-ending double-episode of The Dukes of Hazzard. #yeeeeehaw
Instead of letting my second-guessing about the book stop me, I’ve pushed through. It is my first pancake. I have to make it to be ready for something even better to follow. The second printing of the book would be better. The next book I write will certainly be better in some way.
I have no shame or embarrassment in this. Neither should you. It is how life works. You go and do and try and learn and improve. You can only do what you can do with the conditions as they exist. Each new attempt means that you add more experience to the conditions. Which gets you closer to the ideal. It is the process of perfecting over time that I enjoy. Like a good pancake, covered in real Vermont maple syrup.
Key Takeaway
Don’t be afraid to make your first pancake. It will be less than perfect in some way. But simply by making the first one you will improve, learn, and grow. That is how you make amazing things. Make your first version, and let the challenge of improvement drive you to keep improving. Keep stacking up your attempts like pancakes. It is the true path to perfection.
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Last night was game night at our house. We played a card game that my children had never played before. To begin, I read them the instructions on how to play the game, how the game is scored, and how to win. After reading the last of the instructions, I looked up to find my kids staring at me as if I had just read them the instructions in gibberish. Or Swahili. Or Swahili gibberish. Which is extra hard for native English speakers to understand.
I’ve seen that look before. In fact, it feels as if I’ve seen that WTF-ish look every time I’ve ever played a new game with anyone, ever.
The simple fact is that games are complicated. It’s very difficult to absorb the complexities of a new game as the rules of the game are read to you. And if you take a moment to step back, you quickly realize is that everything in life is a game. Not just sports, or things that Milton Bradley and those good-timing Parker Brothers dreamed up. EVERYTHING is a game. Including:
business
investing
real estate
relationship building
entrepreneurship
test taking
sales
technology
surfing
riding a bike
coaching
cooking
gardening
driving
flying
writing
art
mechanics
parenting
That thing couples do that turns them into parents
Learn By Playing
To learn a new game you simply have to play it. There is no way around it. You have to learn the rules as you go. You learn through the process of playing. Not by absorbing an overview of the rules of the game before you start.
Far too often we delay playing the most interesting games (entrepreneurship, investing, writing, pickleball) until we have studied it completely. But studying the games of life is largely procrastination. Learn 10% ahead of time, and then start. You’ll learn the rest on the chutes and ladders.
Key Takeaway
You don’t learn how to play the games of life by reading the instructions. You learn by actually playing the games. The details reveal themselves as you go. The games you will play are far too complicated to comprehend through simply reading. So start playing. Clarity will come quickly when you are rubbing against the rules rather than reading them.
It’s your turn.
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Last week I had a film shoot in California. It was a multiday shoot with a new division of a company we have been working with for many years. Thanks to Covid, we had never actually met any of the clients we worked with on this shoot in person.
The shoot represented more than just another day out of the office. It meant that we began an official relationship, in person, with 7 new people. It was a great reminder that some people are much taller and some are much shorter than they appear online.
The Insight
Everything changes when you meet in person. The conversations are different. The connections are different. The chemistry is different. The compliments feel different in person. And there is much less asking, ‘Can you guys hear me?’
You can’t experience the full pull of human magnetism on the phone or via video conference. Zoom doesn’t allow for the simultaneous conversations that happen naturally among teams when they meet in person.
The warmth of a smile and the heartiness of a laugh feel different in person. The power of a handshake or a hug dwarfs the impact of an online wave. As a result, you leave the in-person experience with a greater affinity for one another. And you remember why you are supposed to brush your teeth and wear pants to meetings.
The power of the in-person experience is why we can’t all work from home all the time. While the flexibility of virtual teams offers several advantages, it eventually creates a disadvantage. Because in-person connections are more powerful than online. And you leave yourself vulnerable to stronger in-person relationships developed with someone else. It’s true at work, at school, and in our personal lives.
Key Takeaway
See your people in real life. You create stronger bonds with your clients, coworkers, friends, and family when you are together in person. The energy exchanged in person is powerful. Leading to a more meaningful experience. And a stronger desire to see each other again. Which is the key to long-term relationships.
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Adam Albrecht Blog 