Category: life lessons

How some people do so much more with their time.

We all know people who do more than everyone else.

They do the family things and the home things.

They do the friends things, the travel things, the work things, and the wild things.

And miraculously, they seem to be enjoying it all.

Like cyborgs. Or Stepford Wives.

They are creating things that interest them.

They are volunteering for causes they care about.

They are having success in their career, running their own business or leading their family.

They do the networking activities you would like to do.

They exercise.

And they get to worship, too, God bless them.

Plus, they coach or chaperone or team parent for the activities their kids do.

You wonder How do they do it all?

How are they involved in so many things? How do they fit it all in? And how do they not Chernobyl like it’s 1986?

The answer is simple.

Capacity is a state of mind.

You decide how much you can handle, how much you can take on, how much you can fit in.

You decide how much you can do with your hours, days and weeks.

When you decide you are full and overwhelmed, you stop. (Presumably in the name of love.)

People who do more believe they have a capacity to do more.

They see spaces to add things.

They find time in their schedule to make things happen.

They see opportunities that are worth their time and their energy.

And they recognize that at some point, they will run out of time, energy and opportunity.

So they go now.

The scarcity of time is precisely what drives them to see more capacity in their everyday.

Now is the time.

Now is the opportunity.

Now is the alternative to never.

Key Takeaway

If you want to fill your life with meaning, action and contribution, adjust your mindset to create capacity. Because when you want to find the time for more, you will find it. Or you will optimize, prioritize, reduce or eliminate things to make room. There is more space and time in your continuum for the things you really want to do. Find it. Enjoy it. Do more with it. And make others wonder how you do it all.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

The Ultimate Cure For Boredom.

Do you ever feel bored?

I never do.

Because the foolproof cure for boredom is to have big goals.

And I am the fool with the proof.

Big goals, and many of them, help fill your days with purpose.

I have so many goals that they govern my days. (In a non-political governing kind of way.)

From the moment I wake up, my routine is constructed to help me achieve my goals.

Because when you have a strong vision for your future, it shapes your now.

And you see time as a tool for you to use to achieve your goals.

Fitness goals inspire you to exercise. Even when you would rather TexMexercise.

Travel goals squash boredom with planning, adventure, reflection and memories.

Career goals inspire you to work harder, more focused, and with more zeal. (Or a more contemporary word for zeal.)

Financial goals drive you to save and invest. Even when you have the urge to splurge, Virg.

And your financial goals will inspire you to explore and discover smarter things to do with your money, honey.

Entrepreneurial goals mean you are never bored. Ever. Like ever, ever.

Reading goals mean that you always have a good reason to log off of electronics and fill your time with something that adds value to your life. (And increases your vocabularium.)

Writing goals drive you to sit down and write every day. And it is hard to be bored when you are creating. Just ask God. Or Tyler Perry.

Domestic goals around improving your home, and yard keep you busy and productive. Not bored.

Relationship goals influence the way you invest your time, the way you treat the important people in your life, and the hashtags you use on social media.

Your goals help you make decisions all day long about the things you should and shouldn’t do with your time. Which means that goals enhance productivity, decision making, time management, and relationships. Not to mention the positive impact they have on your happiness, adventurousness, and good old-fashioned usefulness. (Basically all the nesses.)

Key Takeaway

The next time you find yourself bored, think about the goals that you could be working towards. If you find that you don’t have any, set new ones that you can work towards right now. Boredom is a signal that you need more meaningful activity in your life. And goals are the greatest way to make that happen.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned, check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

Get Lazy To Get Productive.

On a recent Saturday morning, I was really lazy. Like, pro-level lazy. I was lazy like a boy in an overstuffed recliner.

I got up early, as usual. I made my son Johann breakfast and made sure he had everything he needed to take the ACT’s that morning. Basically number 2 pencils. But hey…

After Johann left, my wife and I had an empty nest. Our daughter Ava was off at college. Johann was testing at school, and then would be off to practice music with his bandmates. And our youngest son, Magnus, was at a water park for the weekend with his friend Phineas and his family. I assume Ferb was there, too.

So Dawn and I were alone. And we sat in our living room and read. We read for a long time. It was great. And lazy. It felt as if we were finally recovering from our very active trip to Arizona. I hadn’t allowed myself to feel that lazy for a long time.

But then something quite predictable happened. I got itchy to do something. I had sat long enough that I was now compelled to work, to do, to be productive.

So I went outside with a rake and trimming equipment. I cleaned up, cut down and spruced up all of the beds in the back of my house. I then took 3 loads worth of yard waste to the dump.

After that, I came in the house and had a light bulb moment, which sent me on a mission to replace every burned-out light bulb I could find in the home.

Before I knew it, I had 5 hours of productive work done on the laziest Saturday in recent memory. Because for me, laziness serves as a springboard to productivity. I saturate with laziness, and then I have to do something. I lounge until I must labor. Then I labor until I must lounge. It’s a strong and satisfying approach that I recommend everyone have in their playbook.

Key Takeaway

Everyone needs a little downtime to recharge. It provides both a physical and mental reset. As soon as your batteries are fully recharged from rest, get right back to it. Then go until you need a good rest. The cycle will leave you feeling both productive and restored. That’s a win-win.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

How High School Football Helped Shape My Life And Career.

Recently, I was asked to speak to my son Magnus’s freshman football team the night before their last game of the season. Preparing for the talk offered an opportunity to go back in time and reflect on the feelings and thoughts I had at the end of my own freshman football season. But this time I had fewer pimples, my voice didn’t crack, and I had a much longer lens with which to view the whole experience. I wrote about the talk and what happened in The Power of Enthusiasm and Teamwork.

The major insight I gained was that my own reflection at the end of my freshman football experience created one of the most valuable experiences of my life. And it still benefits me today. (Or at least it benefitted me yesterday. It’s too early for today’s results to be tabulated.)

That’s me (77) making the tackle during a game my freshman year of high school. Our uniforms used to get dirty, because we played on real grass and dirt.

The Reflection On My Freshman Football Experience.

By the end of my freshman season of football at Hanover High School in Hanover, New Hampshire, I realized a few things.

First, I loved playing football.

I realized I loved the brotherhood of playing a team sport. Going into battle with a group of badass boys creates a bond. A brotherhood. An identity.

I realized we played better when we played as a team.

I realized how much practice helped. (Yes, Allen Iverson, we’re talking about practice.)

I realized that after a bad play, or a lost game, you had to learn from what you did wrong, but then put that behind you and move forward.

I learned that bringing energy to the game made a huge difference. And I run better on positive energy than negative energy.

I recognized that encouraging each other made a significant impact on our play and our relationships.

I learned that I represented my high school and my community when I wore that uniform. And I could either add to it or reduce it through my actions. (It was this 14-year-old’s first lesson in branding.)

And I realized that I needed to get stronger. There were guys who were a lot bigger and stronger than me. And while I was quick and athletic, sometimes big and strong won. And I wanted to be the bigger guy. Or at least stronger.

What Happened Next?

When my freshman football season wrapped, I was 6 feet tall and 150 pounds. The following Monday, I started lifting weights. And that simple decision, and the strong workout habit I created that year, set in motion the self-improvement journey I am still on today. (Or at least I was yesterday.)

I never got any taller. But by the start of football season my sophomore year, I weighed 170 pounds. My junior year, I weighed 190. By football season my senior year, I weighed 210 pounds. And by the time I graduated from high school, I weighed 215 pounds. I got a lot of new clothes in the process.

My first day in the weight room, I bench pressed 95 pounds. And that was really hard. But my senior year, after years of slow and steady improvement, I benched 335 pounds. It was hard to believe I was the same guy. But slow, steady actions compound in ways that are hard to imagine, unless you read the book The Tortoise And The Hare.

That’s me (78), my senior year. The weight lifting had added 60 pounds, and a lot of grip strength.

The Broader Impact.

My love for football and desire to get better didn’t just help me on the football field. The strength and conditioning that I did to get better at football helped me as a track and field athlete. (Which I chose because I was terrible at baseball.)

By my senior year, I broke 2 school records and a conference record, I was a state champion in both the shot put and the discus, I won the New England Championship in the discus twice, and I set a state record in the discus that stood for 12 years.

Discus throwing my senior year of high school.

But perhaps more importantly, I grew my personal relationships with my football teammates. We became a band of brothers. (A band with no instruments or spandex.) We went to battle together. We made it to the state semi-finals together both my junior and senior years. Both years, we came within one score of the state championship game. But that journey, even with an imperfect ending, brought us closer together. And we have great stories to share every time we are together.

Then we stood up in each other’s weddings.

And we helped each other in our careers.

When I started the advertising and ideas agency, The Weaponry, my very first client was Dan Richards, one of my football teammates from my freshman year in high school, and one of my best friends in the world. (Dan is the other guy making the tackle in the cover photo for this story.) He had also used the lessons he learned through athletics to help build an amazing business called Global Rescue, which does what the name says it does.

The relationship I developed with Dan has had a huge impact on my adult life. And it all started by being a strong, supportive, reliable teammate in football. Which made us trust each other in life and in business.

Dan Richards and I, getting muddy in Puerto Rico.

Key Takeaway

Don’t miss your great opportunities. To improve yourself. To create strong bonds and friendships. To use your drive to become better at sports or other competitions. And at life. Become a winner in your mindset first. And you will be a winner on the field and off. Use the same drive to improve in sports to win in your classwork and in your career. Bring the same relationship-building approach you bring to your team, to your family, to your friendships, coworkers, children, and spouse. And you will live a life you can be proud of, that is full of wins every day.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

How to use milestones as the secret to your success.

If you are not careful, your life will pass by in a flash. Your career will be over in a snap. Your kids will be grown and will have flown in a Blink-182. Because time is a crafty thief that lulls you into someday thinking. Like Sugar Ray. And then it yanks that someday away just like your prankster friend, pulling your chair away just before you’re about to sit on it, Potsy.

Milestones

One of the great ways to create a far more enjoyable and successful life and create memorable experiences is to utilize the power of milestones.

Milestones are those moments on the calendar that humans have made to mark the passage of time. Those days or events offer valuable markers for accomplishments, challenges and traditions. They are there to host rites of passage and other memory-making events. And without milestones, Hallmark would have a hard time selling you paper.

You know the big and obvious milestones. At Halloween, you dress up in a costume and do candy things. At Thanksgiving, you gather with family or friends, feast, and get thanky. At Christmas, you exchange gifts, eat, drink and praise Mary. At New Year’s, you celebrate and create lists of how the next 2 weeks will be different.

Deadlines and Opportunities

But milestones also create deadlines for accomplishments and opportunities for memorable experiences.

I sit down to write every morning by 6:10am. But Tuesdays and Thursdays are milestones to publish blog posts. Every 3 weeks, I publish Adam’s Good Newsletter. And every five years, I want to publish a new book. Those are all random and arbitrary deadlines. But they become useful milestones that make my elective activities time-bound. Milestones offer navigational markers on the naked landscape of time. Which ramps up your self-imposed productivity.

I had a major speaking event yesterday, and I used it as an opportunity to get in better shape. I committed to doing 30 minutes of cardio every day for 30 days leading up to the talk, so that I would look and feel more fit on stage in front of 1,000 people. (And I requested to have no cameras in the venue, because the camera adds 10 pounds.)

I always use my birthday as a motivating milestone. I’ve also used class reunions, New Year’s Eve, and the birth of my children as important starting points, end points and exclamation points.

I have used milestones to gain traction towards health and fitness goals, to measure my business success, and to create deadlines for my entrepreneurial launches. (Which are a lot less launchy than Elon Musk, Richard Branson or Jeff Bezos’ entrepreneurial launches.)

I used the end of the COVID-19 lockdown in 2020 as a milestone to finish the first draft of my manuscript for my first book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? Then I used Thanksgiving of 2021 as my milestone to publish the book. I made both of those goals happen, thanks to the power of milestones. (Since then, I have learned how to write a manuscript without a worldwide pandemic.)

I use milestones to schedule big travel. For my wife Dawn’s 40th birthday, I surprised her with a trip to Europe. We scheduled a trip to Europe in the summer before my daughter Ava’s senior year of high school. We realized that the milestone provided the last summer opportunity for us to all travel together before college obligations made summer travel problematic. Using milestones is one of the best ways to visit the big places on your life-travel list. (Using airplanes is the other best way.)

I used a milestone to plan a major move. My wife and I wanted to find a place where we could settle to allow our children to finish their schooling without moving by the time my daughter Ava entered middle school. We moved from Atlanta to Mequon, Wisconsin, a large-yarded, low-taxed, great-schooled northern suburb of Milwaukee that sits on the Western shore of Lake Michigan. We called this our 13-year home. Which meant that we would stay in Milwaukee for 13 years, until we hit another major milestone: our son Magnus’s high school graduation. Then Dawn and I are free to hit the road again and take on more adventures.

Key Takeaway

Your greatest ambitions, experiences and traditions are far less likely to happen if you don’t tie them to a milestone. Use those special days to inspire your work, to create deadlines, and to force urgency. Use them to create regular events to bring your people together. Or to reset your ambitions, spark your goal setting and help you accomplish more elective activity than you could without them.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned, check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

Success Is A Percentage Game.

Success is a percentage game.

The more options you create, the more success you will find.

Comedians know this.

The more jokes you come up with, the more likely you are to have really funny jokes.

To be a raging success, you write lots of jokes. Perform those jokes in front of small crowds. Keep only the ones that work. Toss the rest. Repeat.

If you want more innovation, explore more what-ifs. While it may only take 3 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, it took Thomas Edison 10,000 attempts to create a light bulb. (And it took Natalie Merchant 10,000 Maniacs to create a hit song.)

The more people you know, the more likely you are to know a person who can help you open the next door, overcome a challenge, or offer you a kidney.

To find your prince or princess, you must kiss a lot of frogs. Or frogettes.

To catch one muskie, studies show you have to cast an average of 3,000 times.

To create a bag of tricks, you need many tricks. (And a bag.)

At The Weaponry, the advertising and ideas agency I lead, one of our hallmarks is that we explore a lot of options.

We explore a wide variety of strategies.

We explore as many creative options as the time and budget allow.

Great advertising doesn’t come from crafting one great headline. And designing one look.

There are often hundreds of headlines explored when creating a single ad. And dozens, if not hundreds, of looks.

It creates a large population of options to choose from. And large populations increase the potential for greatness.

So consider many strategic options.

Consider many, many creative options.

Consider many candidates.

And life partners.

Write a lot of jokes.

Pick only the very best ones.

That’s how you do smart things that set you apart.

Key Takeaway

To be successful, you first have to be productive. Create lots of options. You will both become better and create better by doing more. So drill more holes. That’s how you find the gusher.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned, check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

Act As If.

Go through life as if all of your dreams have come true.

Or are coming true.

Act as if you are the you that you imagined you would be.*

Do the things that the person you want to be would do.

Make the decisions your ideal you would make.

Act as if you have the role you want. And maybe the roll you want. (Kaiser, Lobster, Tootsie)

Act as if you are the person who does what you want to do.

Talk the talk.

Walk the walk.

Think the way you want to be.

And you will become the person you think you are.

If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

*The quadruple-you sentence. The Triple Lindy of sentences.

Unlock the personal and professional benefits of RFF.

You probably know all about RBF.

So you know it’s not the cash register code for a sandwich at Arby’s.

Or a pennant and banner industry term for rainbow flag.

RBF refers to Resting Bitch Face.

It is a default facial expression that makes a person appear unfriendly.

It makes people think you are irritated, annoyed or angry. Even when resting.

And it appears in both women and men. (See Kanye.)

RBF makes people think you are unapproachable

It may be unfair. It may be the furthest thing from the truth.

But if you have RBF, it makes a negative first impression. And it builds a personal brand that works against you.

It sends a message to the people around you that you don’t want to talk.

And Jack White can tell that we aren’t gonna be friends.

Unfortunately, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. (Head and Shoulder’s taught me that.)

But there is another default facial expression that gets far less attention.

And it is far more valuable.

RFF

People with RFF have a friendly default countenance.

It may be a smile.

Or a warmth.

Or kindness.

They look like they would be happy to talk to you.

People with RFF look like they want to be your friend.

Resting Friend Face.

I am talking to this guy in a room full of strangers.

When I was a kid, I lived in 5 different states by the time I started 7th grade. So I learned how to make friends in a room full of strangers. And it always starts by looking for the person with the resting friend face.

Remember when you used to play Red Rover when you were a kid? You would look for the weakest link in the lineup.

Making friends works kinda like that. Only it feels less Lord of The Flies-y

I would ask her for directions.

When you walk into a room full of strangers, you look for someone with RFF as the best person to approach.

They are the person least likely to give you the cold shoulder. And most likely to be interested in having a conversation.

At networking events, people with RFF are approached first.

At a dance, someone with RFF gets invited onto the dance floor first.

At a bar, the person with RFF gets approached. (So be careful if you don’t want to be approached in a bar.)

In business, when the person with RFF walks into a pitch or a sales call, they are immediately likable.

Humans are programed to discern friend from foe.

We do this unconsciously.

Automatically.

It’s coded into our historic software.

That’s why RFF offers an unfair advantage in relationship development.

This guy gets it.

So train yourself to develop your Resting Friend Face.

Smile.

Or Smize.

Train yourself to default to a friendly pose.

Put a pleasant look on your face. It doesn’t have to be toothy.

Uncross your arms.

Put your phone away.

And look like a friend other people would like to have.

Practice in front of a mirror.

Film yourself to find what looks friendly on camera.

See what others see.

That’s a pro RFF!

By developing a RFF you will increase the potential for developing more friendships.

You will develop a better social and professional network.

People will choose to talk to you in a room full of other options. Which will make you feel like Sally Field at the `1985 Academy Awards.

You will be the person others will approach at a trade show, job fair, conference or seminar.

It’s how you get people to approach your booth, table or tent.

You will be the person others will choose to sit next to at a dinner party full of strangers.

And ultimately, you will benefit from attracting more good people into your life.

Key Takeaway

Develop your Resting Friend Face. Practice looking friendly and approachable as a default. You will stand out in a crowd. It will help you grow your brand, your network and the number of great opportunities that come your way.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

Why You Should Embrace Last Minute Opportunities.

I have some friends who produce and host a TV show. They call me when a planned guest cancels and they need a replacement on short notice. (And no, the show is not Cops.)

There is a teacher in my kids’ school district who has me on speed dial when they need a last-minute classroom speaker. Even though my kids are not in their class and I can’t barter favors for grades.

I was once asked if I could speak for 15 minutes to a company meeting of 1,000 people, just an hour before I was supposed to be on stage. I had nothing prepared. But I did it anyway. I figured that even if I crashed and burned, it would make for a good story. But if I crushed it, I imagined there was an outside chance that I would earn a lifetime supply of ham.

Recently, a woman who has hired me 3 times to speak recommended me to a colleague who had a speaker cancel a week before her big event. I had never given a talk on the topic they were looking for. (But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express.)

And over the course of my advertising career, I have had too many last-minute requests from clients for even Count Dracula to count.

Be At The Top Of The Go-To List.

I step up and say yes to last-minute requests all the time.

Because I am a problem solver.

Because, like a firefighter, I can be ready for action on short notice.

Because I am prepared.

Because I stay ready.

Because I figure it out.

I have a process that allows me to deliver on short notice. Or nearly no notice.

Being the go-to backup plan when things go wrong is an honor.

People don’t forget those who helped them out when they were in a tight spot.

Throughout your life, you will have many opportunities to save the day.

Save it for others whenever you can.

Plus, more repetitions make you better at what you do.

So you improve through the process, too.

It bolsters your brand reputation.

And I have heard there are better accommodations in Heaven for those who help others here.

Key Takeaway

Be at the top of other people’s last-minute list. Save the day whenever you can. Be the person others turn to when they really need help. You will always help yourself in the process.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

Take a little time to save yourself a lot of time.

A few months ago, something coo-coo happened with my default search browser on my laptop. This is not something I would typically write about. (Or read about.) But stay with me. There is a valuable lesson at the end of this techno-rainbow.

Instead of defaulting to Google for search, suddenly my computer was defaulting to Yahoo’s search engine, as if it were 1995.

For months, I would type a search into the search bar and it would take me to Yahoo’s results page, which, unlike a Snickers, was not very satisfying.

So I began to simply type Google into the search bar, then click on Google, and then perform my search once I had arrived at the Googler.

This was inefficient. And a waste of time. (But you already knew that.)

So one day I went to Google, and googled how to make Google your default search engine.

I got the answer immediately.

Because Google is good like that.

The process of changing my search engine took about 20 seconds.

And every day since then I have enjoyed a highly efficient search process.

The Bigger Lesson

The experience served as a reminder that we all have unnecessary inefficiencies that are slowing us down, wasting our time, and negatively impacting our productivity or our quality of life.

Recognize those inefficiencies and eliminate the time-wasting workarounds. Look for opportunities to improve your processes to save you time, energy and money over the long haul.

This may include improving your processes. It may include training others to do tasks so that you don’t have to. It may include fixing a broken or worn-out thing you have been working around. It may involve cleaning or organizing so that you can easily find the things you need when you need them. Which is kind of like Google in the physical world.

Key Takeaway

There are unnecessary inefficiencies in your world right now. Addressing them will take a little bit of time now, but save you a lot of time later. Seek out ways to improve your professional and personal productivity by improving your processes, training others, fixing, and organizing. It will eliminate your time-stealing workarounds. And decrease the friction in your work and in your life.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.  And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.