Category: Life

How to remember new names using the simple Nickname Technique.

I love meeting new people. Which is a good thing. Because on this planet of 8 billion people, there is an endless supply of new people to discover. I meet new people through work, speaking engagements, parties, and a wide variety of social, professional and everyday situations. But like you, If I am not careful I forget names. And I don’t like that.

So I have made a commitment to absorb and retain the names of the people I meet. After all, people love it when you not only remember their name but prove you know it by using it in conversation.

Remembering and using names creates intimacy between people. Real relationships start when you learn the other person’s name. Because you can’t go very deep without starting with this foundational element. And how are you going to connect on social media if you don’t know their name? They don’t have an app for that.

“Names are the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

― Dale Carnegie

Lately, I have been looking for new people I can meet and practice my name-retention techniques.

Here is the 6-Step Nickname Technique I use to dramatically improve name-retention.

Step 1: The first step is to actually consciously try to remember the names of everyone you meet, even before you meet them. Preparing your mind before each encounter makes you a ready receiver, primed to Randy Moss that name.

Step 2: I like to be the one to ask for the other person’s name. It’s kinda like being a baseball catcher putting your glove up to tell the pitcher you are ready for them to throw the pitch your way. Only it’s way easier on your knees. If you let the other person share their name before you are ready, it may fly right past you. If this happens, ask them to repeat it. I will also ask people to spell their name if their name is unique. (If they spell it U-N-I-Q-U-E I know their name really is Unique.)

Step 3: Once the other person shares their name you want to nickname them. Connect the person’s name with something distinct about them. This could be their look, their profession, or where you met them. This leads to fun nickname filings in your Memorodex like Network Ninja Najee (My Spectrum internet tech), Up-In-My-Mouth Mindy (my dental hygienist), Eileen Eyelashes, Big Booty Betty and Gorilla Grip Greg.

Note: these nicknames simply serve as your personal reminders of their name in your head. When you use their name drop the Big Booty part.

Step 4: Next, say their name right away. Try something like, ‘It’s great to meet you, Greg. Nice handshake!’

Step 5: Continue to use their name in your conversation to drill it home and lock it in your mind. You might suggest even suggest singing the name game song with them. I especially like to do this with guys named Chuck and Buck. (Message me at adam@theweaponry when you realize why.)

Step 6: Soon after your conversation write their name down or connect with them on social media. I keep a list on my phone with nicknames for quick reference.

A Recent Example

Yesterday I had a great chance to put my name-remembering challenge to the test. A man came to my house to pump out our septic tank. (We called his company ahead of time. He wasn’t a door-to-door septic tank pumper.) When I greeted the man I reminded myself to find something about him that I could use to remember his name.

I introduced myself by saying, “Hello! My name is Adam!”

The septic tank-pumping visitor smiled back at me and said, “Hi! I’m John!”

I giggled on the inside. I knew I would have no problem remembering John’s name.

Key Takeaway

Make an effort to remember names. Go into introductions ready to remember. Then use the nicknaming, repeating and writing-it-down techniques to lock that name in your brain. Name retention is a great skill to develop. It makes you appear more interested in the other person. It helps you deepen your relationship with others. And it makes you a valuable resource to name forgetters who come to you for name help.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Don’t waste a near-death experience.

By now we have all seen the assassination attempt on Donald Trump. As an optimist, I am hopeful that some very good things will come out of this very bad event. I hope it provides a perspective-altering experience for Trump, for politicians, for speech writers and for the American people.

There are simple facts about divisiveness. If you divide severely, make fun of people, belittle and laugh at people, or treat people as if they are dumb, or incompetent, you will eventually find a breaking point. We saw that clearly in the movie Billy Madison when we discovered that Steve Buscemi’s character Danny, who was bullied by Billy in school, had created a list of people to kill, which included Billy Madison.

Danny (Steve Buscemi) crosses Billy Madison’s name off of his list of people to kill after Billy apologizes for how he treated Danny in school. Then Danny put on some lipstick in a very strange and memorable ending to this scene.

I am hopeful that the assassination attempt has triggered a reset. I hope this serves as a reminder that there are limits to how far we can push. (Unless you are Salt n’ Peppa, who push it real good.) I hope that we start to realize that it is better to share your own positive plans and visions than it is to tear other people, parties and ideologies down.

I hope this serves as a reminder that the most powerful people in the world should be cautious about labeling others as threats to democracy. Because it has a very real chance of inciting others to take up arms to put down that threat in the name of preserving our great democracy.

The Gift of The Close Call

I have had some close calls in my life with what could have been very bad outcomes. We probably all have. For me, each of those situations served as an inflection point. I was different after the experiences than I was before. I had a better sense of the boundaries of safety. I developed a better understanding of cause and effect. I realized how lucky I was to be given more time and more chances to get things right. Which is the basic theme of 50% of country songs.

When you are faced with an abrupt ending, it shines a spotlight on how you want to spend your second chance. It forces you to reevaluate and recalibrate. And it makes you think about your legacy, and what people will say about you after you are gone. Which is the basic storyline of 50% of the movies made in Hollywood. That’s why there is that moment at the end of Home Alone when Buzz tells Kevin, ‘It’s pretty cool that you didn’t burn the place down.’

If someone shot at me it would force some self-reflection. I would question my words and my actions. I would recognize that I may be pushing people too far. And that I may not be exhibiting the kind of empathy and compassion that would have kept me out of the very real crosshairs. I am hopeful that this event has forced some valuable soul-searching, eye-opening, and dare I say, ear-opening that will lead to better actions by everyone involved.

Key Takeaway

Don’t waste a second chance. When you are faced with a premature ending to anything, let it be a positive force in your life that helps you rewrite a better ending. These moments are gifts. But you have to be ready to receive them. If you do, these experiences have the potential to help you change your life for the better, if not the course of history.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

10 Questions I’m asking myself in my most important performance review.

My daughter Ava graduated from high school a month ago. It opened an interesting new chapter for our family. By all accounts, we are a close family. And we have been since Ava, the first of our 3 children, was born. Next month Ava will leave home to attend college at The University of Wisconsin in Madison. To have a member of our nuclear family of 5 leave the reactor is going to change things. And I hope I don’t Chernolbyl.

There are a lot of exciting unknowns ahead that are fun to ponder. What will her career path be like? Who will she meet along the way? Where will she live? Will she make enough money to put me in the good retirement home and buy me the fancy cremation?

But as I prepare for Ava to leave home next month I find myself reflecting. I’ve asked a lot of questions about the past 18 years and how I have performed in my role as a parent. I’ve given myself a performance review. And I am sharing it with you.

Ava and I after she broke her high school’s 44-year-old discus record.

10 Questions I asked myself as my child prepares to leave home.

  1. Did I spend enough time with Ava? The answer here is complex. Yes, I spent enough time with my daughter. As her high school track and field coach I got far more quality time with Ava than most parents do. Yes, I will always want more. But our time was enough to create a strong bond, to teach, learn and laugh together. I will miss our time together and hope she comes home regularly so we can enjoy more.
  2. Did I set a good example? Yes and no. Certainly, I set a good example in many ways. I was an involved parent in all areas of her first 18 years. I showed her how to work hard, how to make friends and how to make money. But I could have set a better example of how to keep your cool. To be slower to anger when frustrated. I could have used fewer naughty words in front of her. And I could have been stricter about her using naughty words. (But sometimes naughty words express feelings best.)
  3. Did we create enough memories? Yes. This one is a slam dunk. We piled up the memories. Holidays, travel, traditions, sports, adventures, and all the funny unique things along the way. If there is one area of parenting I think I got right, this is it.
  4. Did I pass along my values? Yes. My wife Dawn and I place a high value on values. Our family has The Albrecht’s 5 Most Important Things. My kids know they need to be Smart, Nice, Brave, Funny and Adventurous. We preached this constantly and underscored the importance of each value. When there was some sort of misstep or shortcoming it could always be connected to not adhering to one of the 5 Most Important Things.
  5. Did I make her laugh enough? I’m pretty sure I met my quota. We laugh a lot at our house. It’s one of my favorite things. Ava has a strong sense of humor and we can find lots of reasons to laugh. Even when looking back at the things that were originally painful or embarrassing.
  6. Did I teach her to say I am sorry? I think so. Dawn and I are good at this. It’s important to demonstrate that when you hurt someone’s feelings, were rude, mean or insensitive you should acknowledge it. Even when it was unintentional. And saying you are sorry helps change the whole memory of experiences and relationships, because we rewire the memory once there has been a positive resolution. But just because we taught Ava how to say I’m sorry doesn’t mean she will. She’s stubborn.
  7. Did I teach her enough about money? Yes. I read Rich Dad. Poor Dad. to Ava when she was in elementary school, my dear Watson. I have emphasized the importance of knowing the difference between an asset and a liability. Ava has had a job since 6th or 7th grade. She leaves home with a bank account at The UW Credit Union. She has her own credit card that she uses monthly for small responsible purchases to build her credit. She owns stock in 4 different companies and has seen the value of investing. She knows she needs to make her money work for her, and not just work for money. (If you need to become smarter about money I suggest reading Rich Dad. Poor Dad., Think and Grow Rich, and The Richest Man In Babylon. All of them are easy and informative reads.)
  8. Did I take advantage of the opportunities over the past 18 years? I think so. We spent quality time together. We adventured and traveled. I coached Ava throughout high school. Which created many opportunities to learn about hard work, goal setting, determination, disappointment, resilience and the joy of winning and attaining goals. But we never did a Daddy-Daughter Dance. I probably need more time to see what opportunities I missed.
  9. Is she prepared for her next chapter? Yes. She is about as prepared as a well-cared-for child can be before leaving home. Had we neglected her and forced her to raise herself she may be more prepared for everything to come next. But she would also likely have resentment and other scars. So I think we found a happy medium.
  10. What might I do better with my 2 teenage boys still at home? I could be more patient. Slower to get frustrated or angered. I could teach them more life skills. Tire changing, basic plumbing and electrical work. How to ask your waiter to replace the food that wasn’t quite right.

Key Takeaway

We all take on many roles. It’s valuable to reflect on our performance in each to become better parents, spouses, friends, neighbors volunteers and any other job we take on. It is not through experience, but through reflecting on our experiences that we gain wisdom. So make sure to take time to look back. It ensures that you will be even better at your roles in the future.

I think this girl is going to be alright.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

It’s halftime of 2024. Time to evaluate your progress and make adjustments.

Today marks the midpoint of 2024.

We have completed 6 months. We have 6 months left. And because this is a leap year, you can actually divide the year into neat 183-day halves. Today is like that point in the song I’m Gonna Be where the singer had walked 500 miles, and he still has to walk 500 more just to be the man who walks 1000 miles to fall down at your door, having crushed his daily step goal.

This is an important day to check in with yourself and evaluate how your 2024 is going.

At Halftime 2024 are you winning? Are you losing? Do you know the score? Do you even know how to keep score?

Whether you wrote down specific goals or just had a general sense of how you wanted the year to go, it’s time to reflect and compare your 2024 to the 2024 in your head.

If you have no idea how to evaluate your 2024, because it didn’t come with a simple Yahtzee-like scorecard, here’s a sample checklist of mine you can use.

In 2024 How Am I Doing?

  • Physical Health
  • Finances
  • Personal Growth
  • Personal Life
  • Career
  • Business
  • Life Goals
  • Travel
  • Spiritually
  • Core Relationships
  • Mental Health
  • Community
  • Presidential Election Decision (Oy…)

If you are where you want to be in those areas, congratulations! You are having a great 2024. You will start the second half of the year in a strong position. Carry that momentum into next year. Or better yet, build on it. And give yourself a headstart on a great 2025. (And if you are feeling great about your vote for president right now I would love to see your decision tree.)

If you are behind where you want to be in 2024, the good news is the year is only half over. There is plenty of time to create a great year. But the best way to make that happen is to use halftime as an inflection point. Which means it is time to Reflect, Refocus, Recommit and Re-energize yourself for a strong second half.

3 books to consider ordering today as part of your 2024 game plan:

  1. Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear
  2. The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results by Gary Keller & Jay Papasan 
  3. What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say?: 80 Important Life Lessons The Universe Is Trying To Share With You by Adam Albrecht

Key Takeaway

Midpoints are a great time to evaluate progress. Take a few minutes today to compare the year you are having to the year you want to have in key areas of your life. If you are not having the year you want, now is the time to make changes. Remember, time is your most valuable asset. Don’t waste it. Take advantage of the next 183 days. And make this your best year ever.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

Why I’m launching my good newsletter, and how to sign up.

In 2015 I began writing a blog to share what I was learning as I started the new advertising and ideas agency The Weaponry. I wrote about entrepreneurship, startups, advertising and marketing. But I also shared lessons I was learning about self-improvement, professional development and positivity. Because if you have a blog you can write about anything you want. Even the strange people you meet at Piggly Wiggly.

People seemed to like what I was writing. And my blog readers encouraged me to write a book. So in 2021, I published my first book titled What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? Which lead to speaking opportunities across the country. The whole experience was a good reminder, as Michael Jackson said, that you wanna be startin somethin. (You gotta be startin somethin.)

I have been blogging for more than 8 years now. In fact, this is the 987th post I have published. According to WordPress, my blog has been read in 187 countries. Including almost all the countries you’ve ever heard of except North Korea. Clearly, I am no Dennis Rodman.

Sharing the insights and ideas I have discovered with the world is my way of paying forward all the knowledge and good fortune that has come my way. But today I have a problem. And it goes beyond North Korea.

The Problem

Most people discover my writings through a social media distribution channel. These channels include Facebook, TwiXter, WordPress and LinkedIn. The problem is that I don’t own any of those platforms. Which means that Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, Jimmy WordPress and ‘Linky’ Linkenstein decide whether or not to share my posts with you to read and benefit from. In fact, if you are not reading this post it is likely because those gatekeepers are keeping us apart. (And while obviously, you are reading this post, there are billions on this planet who are not.)

The best way around this challenge is to create a newsletter that enables me to share worthwhile lessons, stories and positive thoughts directly with you and the billions of literate humans on Earth.

I have been thinking about this for several years. I have even crafted examples of the newsletter and gathered an initial email distribution list. But I have never sent out a newsletter.

It’s Go Time

I recently had another birthday. (Yay me!) This spurred significant self-reflection. And one of the things that I reflected on was my unborn newsletter. I resolved to begin publishing it right away.

So that is what I am doing.

Adam’s Good Newsletter

I am excited to announce the introduction of Adam’s Good Newsletter. It will contain the articles I write each week. Plus it will include a range of other fun and quick elements like:

  • Book reviews and recommendations
  • Pictures
  • Stories
  • Quotes I find helpful
  • Things I’m digging
  • My personal book writing updates and previews
  • Other things I don’t know I am going to share

The goal of writing this newsletter remains the same as all of my other writings:

To help people learn a little, laugh a little, and lift a little.

To sign up for this email newsletter please send your email to adam@theweaponry.com with the subject: Newsletter. Or just respond wherever you read this post. I’ll get the message. And as long as I also get an email address, you are in like Flynn.

I plan to share one new issue each week. Although it may be every other week or monthly as I figure out a sustainable rhythm.

As with the blog, the books, and the business, I am excited to see where this goes.

Thanks for reading. I always appreciate your time.

-AA

Remember that even your small steps move you forward.

There are days when you can put massive effort towards your goals.

You have time.

You have energy.

You have inspiration.

You ate your Wheaties for breakfast.

You’re cranking the Rocky theme song on repeat on your Airpods, headphones or boombox.

Those are days that you feel like you are taking one giant leap forward for you-kind.

But…

On other days you don’t have the same resources.

Your schedule is challenging

Your energy is low.

You can’t find your Airpods. And your boombox is out of batteries.

Your motivation has secretly been replaced with slowtivation or notivation.

On those days, lower the bar.

Do something small.

Invest a few minutes instead of hours.

Move forward a few inches instead of miles.

Read a page, not a book.

Spend a few quality minutes not the full day.

Remember, small steps save the day.

And they set you up for bigger, better steps forward tomorrow.

Key Takeaway

Don’t be an all-or-nothing person. All-or-something keeps you moving forward. Do what you can. Support your habits. Maintain your momentum. Tomorrow, you will be glad you did.


*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why it is so important to be in the right place at the right time.

I spend a lot of money on gasoline. And airfare. Then there are the trains, subways, ferries, and those incline thingies in Pittsburgh and Chattanooga.

Why do I spend so much on transportation?

Because place matters.

So we pay to be in the place where the thing is happening, Hot Stuff.

We pay to be in the place where people gather.

If you want to be included you have to be in the place.

If you want to be seen you have to be in the place.

If you want to develop or deepen your relationships, you have to be in the place.

If you want to influence the outcome, you have to be the ace in the place, with or without the helpful hardware folks.

Being in the right place at the right time makes magic, Mike.

It unlocks doors. It finishes the job. Or starts the next one.

As Woody Allen said, “80% of success is showing up.”

If you don’t show up your world shrinks. This includes your engagements, relationships, opportunities and learnings. And no one likes shrinkage.

So show up to the places that matter.

Be in the room where it happens.

Put yourself amongst the people.

Be in the human traffic flow.

And good things will happen.

Key Takeaway

Regardless of technological advances that enable you to work from anywhere, physical locations will always be important. Be where the people are. Attend the events. Increase the chances of chance encounters. Increase your familiarity. Be seen and become known. Be missed when you are not there. Better yet, be the reason others show up.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

What gets you high?

A couple of months ago I was at the airport in Atlanta, along with a few hundred thousand travel buddies, when one young man’s sweatshirt caught my attention. It was a simple black hoodie. On the front of the shirt, it said:

Music Gets Me High.

I loved the shirt. Not because music gets me high. But because the young man wearing it knew that music gets him high. And while I haven’t consulted with the Food and Drug Administration or Nancy Reagan, I expect that music provides a fairly safe way to get high. And somebody should tell that to Willie Nelson.

The shirt, and the young man wearing it, made me think that everyone should know what gets them high.

So the question of the day is:

What activities make you feel heightened and alive? Or euphoric? Or in flow?

This is a far more valuable question to ask yourself if the answer is not related to drugs or alcohol. In fact, the point of this prompt is to find the activities that make you feel great without the chemicals. This is particularly interesting to me because I have never drank or done drugs. But I engage in activities that make me feel great. But because my activities are positive and healthy, unlike Amy Winehouse, they are not trying to make me go to rehab.

So what gets you high?

Discover your most highly rewarding activities.

Find ways to do them more often.

And you will live a highly enjoyable life.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Thank you, Moms.

Where would we be without Moms?

We wouldn’t be here.

We wouldn’t be anywhere.

Not in a box.

Not with a fox.

Without Moms we don’t have a chance.

Moms care for us when we can’t do a thing to care for ourselves.

Then little by little, they teach us how to do everything.

How to eat, talk, and walk.

How to dress.

How to stop pooping and peeing in our pants.

Moms teach us how to learn.

They teach us colors, numbers and directions.

They teach us to read and write.

They teach us how to love and show gratitude.

They teach us manners.

And responsibility.

And patience. (Because all we need is just a little patience.)

Mom’s teach us how to say I’m sorry and mean it.

Mothers teach us selflessness. And unconditionality.

They teach us about the life-sustaining power of snacks and naps.

Moms model behaviors for us to follow.

They flag all of our bad behaviors, in case we didn’t know.

Moms teach us how to cook and clean, to launder and shop.

They teach us to give. And to forgive.

They teach us to sacrifice, without harming sheep.

Moms are superheroes who can save you with a hug. Or a smile. Or a strong right arm across your chest when they are driving and suddenly have to brake really hard.

Moms teach us about growing and changing. And that there are many layers, phases and chapters to life.

They teach us that everything will be alright in the end. And if it is not alright, it’s not the end.

Moms give us roots. Moms give us wings.

Moms teach us to pray. And that there is a bigger force out there. Bigger than Mom. Much bigger than Dad.

And Moms teach us how to become Moms and Dads and raise good children of our own.

Thank you, Moms. You are appreciated.

*If you know a Mom who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

If you really want to be inspired look for these amazing people.

When you don’t perform well there are always excuses available. Something about the situation or the conditions can be called on to explain away your subpar results. And often times those excuses sound really good. Like Zooey Deschanel singing in the shower in Elf.

But there will also be people who could have used the same excuse but didn’t. People who could blame the weather, the short prep time, lack of sleep, the economy, or their plantar fasciitis. But the people in question didn’t need to use any of the available excuses. Because they performed at or above the expected standard anyway.

One of the best habits you can create is to surround yourself with the people who perform anyway.

The people who perform anyway are those who experienced challenges and setbacks, were thrown curveballs, had additional constraints, or deficiencies. They had all the same excuses that the excuse-makers had. Yet they performed anyway. They achieved anyway. They succeeded anyway. They finished the job. Even if they weren’t Finnish.

When you train yourself to see the people who performed anyway, you will find a winner’s mindset. You’ll discover people who rise to the occasion, not sink to the condition. These people are found in every area of life. In every corner of the globe, in every sport, business and school. They are found in every economic class. And they will inspire you to perform at your best despite the challenges you face.

Key Takeaway

Excuses are always available. But never necessary. Rise to the occasion. Don’t settle for the situation. Do what you set out to do, regardless of the challenges you face. You will not always be a person who performs anyway. But by looking for those who succeed despite their challenges you will change your view of what’s possible. It will raise your expectations. And you will dramatically increase the percentage of times you perform anyway. That shift will transform your life.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.