Category: networking

Why you should use books to bolster your network.

Your network plays a critical role in your success. It is your safety net when you fall. It is your advisory council when you need advice. It is your feeder system of opportunities. And it is how you find a white Ford Bronco when you are running from the law.

Your network helps you tap into the wisdom of wicked smart people with great experience, ideas and philosophies. It has been said that your network is your net worth. Which means that if you don’t have much of a network you likely don’t have much money either.

However, developing a great network of friends, relatives, and acquaintances that can support, guide and share opportunities with you can be hard. It takes time and energy to develop and maintain your network. And your network-developing capabilities can be severely limited by your geography. Just ask Siberian Sergey. Who is Siberian Sergey? I don’t know. He lives in Siberia. Which is why neither of us know him.

The Great Substitute

The best substitute for a strong real-life network of helpful human folks is a great library of books. Think of the authors and the people profiled in the books you read as part of your circle, like Edie Brickell.

Authors generously share a lifetime of accumulated knowledge, experience and wisdom with you for $15- $30. That is a bargain you should snatch up whenever you can, Toucan Sam.

Biographers share the great life stories, lessons, paths, philosophies and mistakes of some of the most successful people to ever roam the planet. So add the biographized to your network. They often have the most to teach. And when you wonder What Would Walt Disney Do? you can quickly get the answer by reading the great biography, Walt Disney by Neal Gabler.

It may be a small world after all, but this book is big. And full of mice.

I have books in my library about Walt Disney, Cornelius Vanderbilt, Steve Jobs, and Ted Turner. They have all provided valuable guidance. And not one of them has slapped me with a restraining order for getting my nose in their business.

The first book to buy when starting your own business, or once you realize you should have bought a book when you started your own business.

I have books like Atomic Habits, Deep Work, Principles, Traction and The E-Myth that teach me how to develop great habits, get to the important work, and run a business. I have books like Rich Dad. Poor Dad., The Richest Man in Babylon, The Intelligent Investor, and Think and Grow Rich to teach me how to make, invest and grow my money. (I don’t recommend any of the books by Chuck Ponzi. That guy was always scheming.)

Just look at who reviewed this book for the cover.

The great authors and the biographized icons are ready to share with you what they know. They are never too busy for you. They provide amazing counsel and examples for you to follow. And if you have any subject you want to learn more about you can simply search the topic on Google or Amazon and find the book you need in your network now. (Although you can always buy said book from an independent bookstore in your community. Unless you live in Siberia.)

Key Takeaway

Your network is one of your most valuable assets. But when you need guidance that you don’t yet have in your human network you can often find a great substitute in books. Collect great titles on a great range of subjects to strengthen your network and inner circle of knowledge. And when you find books you find helpful, share them with your real-life network. It is one of the best things we can do for each other.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why it’s smart to reach out when you don’t need anything.

I recently experienced a suspicious outreach. That happens when someone you don’t know very well or haven’t spoken to in a long time reaches out, suddenly eager to talk. Typically this means they are newly unemployed, have something they want to sell you, or a judge has asked them to let you know there is a sex offender in your neighborhood.

This person who contacted me and I have never met in person. He initially reached out to me a few years ago, but after his original introduction, there was never any maintenance to the relationship. In fact, he acknowledged his deadbeatness in his outreach. But suddenly he was eager to talk. Like a close-lipped criminal after being granted legal immunity. I could tell from the note that whatever he was selling at his Tupperware Party would be far more valuable to him than to me.

I don’t mind hearing about what you have going on or what you are trying to sell. But I am much more interested in talking about it if we have spent time talking about other things first.

A Rule of Thumb

Don’t meet and sell on the same day. Don’t do it on the second interaction either. Instead, create a base for your relationship before you develop your base for sales. As a good rule of thumb, meet, email, or call 3 times before you start asking for a transaction. Better yet, provide value to the other person first. Find an article or book they should read. Connect them with another person they should meet. Let them know if they have spinach in their teeth. You know, be helpful.

People don’t like to be sold, but they love to buy. Give others a chance to approach you about your offering first. If you develop a real relationship, and they are a good candidate for your offering, there is a good chance they will bring it up first if you just give them a chance.

Key Takeaway

Develop relationships first. Add value first. Once a good relationship is established the sale, donation or vote may come without an ask.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

A valuable Thanksgiving lesson from a lifetime of eating.

When I tell people that I was a discus and hammer thrower at a Big 10 university it often surprises them. I simply don’t look the part. I am often asked if I was bigger back then. I wasn’t. But I sure tried.

When I was in college I would always eat 3-to 5 plates of food at dinner. In fact, I remember my Grampy Sprau, who was a life-long farmer saying, ‘I have never in my life seen anyone who can eat more food than you can.’ I probably should have been concerned given the fact that this observation came from a man who fattened Angus beef cattle for a living.

Grampy was right. I was really good at eating large quantities. My friends frequently encouraged me to enter eating challenges where if you eat the entire Belly Blaster or Gastronormous Burger you get the whole meal, and diabetes, for free.

A couple of decades of hindsight have revealed that there was a major, long-term advantage to such eating. But it certainly wasn’t caloric.

The Insight

Because I ate so much in college, the people who I sat down with at the start of my meals were usually long gone after I finished plate #2. Which meant that new people would come to sit and eat with me. Or I would grab another plate and sit down with another table of people.

As a result, I would eat dinner every night with twice as many people as everyone else. This just seemed like fun at the time. We were simply hanging out, talking, eating, and stacking empty plates.

This picture of me and my teammate Bob Smith appeared in the Madison newspaper when I was in school. Bobby and I could really throw down some food back then. The paper mislabeled me as my teammate Alex ‘Big Drawz’ Mautz. My late, great, hilarious friend Manny Castro is in the background.

However, as I now look back at that time, after years of grabbing coffee, professional networking lunches, and business dinners, I recognize the real value. I was developing relationships and maintaining friendships with twice as many people as everyone else. I was doing what they would later call networking without even trying. It was a product of my need for food. And my naturally social nature.

As a result, I developed a lot of strong friendships in college. The value of those relationships has multiplied over time, just like any good investment.

Today, I realize that my strong and supportive network has been key to my entrepreneurial success. But more importantly, it has contributed significantly to my happiness and sense of belonging. Because at the end of the day, those are the things that matter most.

Key Takeaway

Enjoy the social benefits of eating with others this Thanksgiving. Take advantage of every opportunity you have to meet more people and strengthen your relationships. Engage in discussions during your meals. Ask questions. Share conversation starters. Be a facilitator. As a result, you can help create shared experiences around your table that will turn into memories that will be enjoyed for a lifetime.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

If you want something good to happen put a date on it.

There was a consistent theme in my week. I had several great interactions with friends, neighbors and business associates. Then, at the end of our call or in-person conversation, the other person said, ‘We really should…’

What followed the really should were things like:

  • Grab coffee.
  • Grab lunch.
  • Talk further.
  • Do this again.
  • Do this more often.
  • Have you over.
  • Plan a retreat.
  • Get together with our whole crew.
  • Not tell the police.

All of those comments were true. We should all do more things together. We should deepen our relationships with others. We should share more and learn and be inspired by each other more.

But in order to do that you can’t let the plans float. #NoFloaters You can’t simply lob a ‘We Should’ out there and think that anything will happen. As JFK said, things don’t just happen. They are made to happen.

Calendar It.

The next time someone floats a good plan your way, stick it on your calendar. Find a date as soon as you can and make it real. Find a time that works for you both that day. Or the next day at the latest.

Then the floating plan becomes a calendared plan. And calendared plans become real plans. It is the best way to make your shoulds, wishes and wants a reality.

Better yet, make your plans repeating events. This could mean you get together automatically every week, month, quarter, or year. Then enjoy the compounding effect of your interactions by making just one easy plan.

Me and my friend Troy Allen made a plan last week to get together in Columbus. And because it was on the calendar, we made it happen. (I know you were checking out Troy’s butt in the mirror.)

Key Takeaway

When a good plan is floated your way make it real by giving it a date. Put it on your calendar. Make it a scheduled event, not just a hypothetical occurrence. By turning your ‘we shoulds‘ into ‘we dids‘ you will live a fundamentally different and more rewarding life.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

** If you think we should make a plan together let’s get it on a calendar.

Who would you offer an open invitation to your time?

John D. Rockefeller was a super busy human. The oil tycoon and one-time richest rock on the block could not have been more in-demand. Yet, after meeting William Rainey Harper, Rockefeller so enjoyed their conversation, and was so inspired by Harper’s thinking that he offered him an open invitation to come talk to Rockefeller anytime he wanted.

To be granted Rockefeller’s All-Access pass Harper must have been quite a special guy. Indeed, Doogie Harper entered college at the age of 10, graduated at 14 and earned his PhD from Yale at 19. But you have to imagine that a person of Rockefeller’s wealth and experience met many smart and interesting cats.

This Begs 2 Questions:

  1. Do you have a person that you would offer an open invitation to come talk to you?

Or perhaps more importantly:

2. Who would you have to be to receive such an invitation?

Like one of those cooking shows where they prepared the final dish ahead of time, I have already spent some time thinking about the question. So here is my freshly baked answer:

To earn an open invitation to my time you need to meet the following criteria:

  1. Be kind. Friendliness is the ultimate ness.
  2. Offer wisdom. Having the wisdom of experience makes you a valuable resource. If you’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt and hat, then you bring great value to me.
  3. Be a problem solver. Can you help me think through the problems, shortcomings and challenges I face? And can you check out the hook while my DJ revolves it?
  4. Be super funny? Humor draws me to others. If you are super funny I may give you a pass on all the rest.
  5. Offer motivation. If you make me want to charge windmills I’ll make time for you.
  6. Be inspirational. We can never have too much.
  7. Intelligence. Show me a great way of thinking and you will improve my own.
  8. Be brave. Courage is contagious. But you don’t have to wear a mask or get a vaccine because of it.
  9. Be a gifted storyteller. A great storyteller is an entertainer. Like watching a TV show, movie or play, a storyteller helps fill your life with interesting and memorable tales.
  10. Be a great listener. Sometimes we just want someone to listen to us.
  11. Have a great perspective. A person that can help you see life, people, and challenges through an interesting lens, that is different than your own, offers additive value.
  12. Smell really good. I like people who smell good.

Key Takeaway

Think about the type of person that you would offer an open invitation to spend time with you. Then work hard to become that person. Not only will others enjoy your company, you will enjoy your own. Which is the most important measure of all.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

A great way to prepare for your next networking opportunity.

I made plans last week to meet an interesting new person. My friend and client Bethany Grabher recently introduced me via email to DJ Shawna. Not only is DJ Shawna the official DJ for the NBA Champion Milwaukee Bucks, she was also selected to DJ at the NBA bubble in Orlando during the 2020 playoffs. But before all that, she played basketball for the University of Wisconsin Badgers. And the Badgers are my favorite (along with smiling).

To prepare for our in-person meeting DJ Shawna and I connected on both LinkedIn and on Instagram. Those platforms are great resources to get to know someone before you meet them in person. (Unless the person is deep into IG filters.) But DJ Shawna also taught me that you can use these vehicles to set the tone for your in-person meeting.

A couple of days before we were scheduled to meet up I posted my Key Takeaway from a recent blog post on my Instagram Story. (You can regularly catch the key takeaway from my blog posts at @adamalbrecht on IG. Also, check out the Silly Highlight.) Not long after I shared the Key Takeaway DJ Shawna responded to it with the following comment:

I can already tell we are going to be friends.

-DJ Shawna

I found myself thinking about that response a lot. It may have seemed like a simple pleasantry to others. And maybe it is the kind of statement that women share easily. But to me, it felt profound. Because it communicated the following:

  1. I’m researching you too.
  2. I like what you wrote.
  3. We value the same things.
  4. I like positive thinking.
  5. I like positive people.
  6. You have already passed my test.
  7. I’m interested in becoming your friend.
  8. I can read. (This was actually my first takeaway.)

That simple statement changed the nature of our meetup. Instead of going to meet a stranger for a networking coffee, I felt like I was going to meet a friend for the first time. Which is the friend version of meeting a relative for the first time. The relationship is already established. It is simply a matter of bringing reality to life.

As DJ Shawna and I were enjoying some Rocket Fuel downtown Milwaukee we ran into friend and fellow Badger Ben Brust, who captained Wisconsin’s 2014 Final Four basketball team and now hosts the Scalzo and Brust Show on ESPN radio. Go Badgers!

Side Note.

I noticed that being a DJ is like being a doctor. It’s fun to add DJ before the name of a DJ to distinguish them from other regular people without the need for a last name. However, Shawna does have a last name. Her birth certificate calls her Shawna Nicols. (I actually haven’t seen her birth certificate so I’m just guessing at that using the information I have.)

Key Takeaway

If in the process of researching someone before you meet them in person, don’t be afraid to let them know that you think you are going to be friends. Or that you have a lot in common. Or that you find them interesting, fascinating or impressive. It sets the tone for a positive in-person introduction. Because when relationships start well, they tend to go well, last longer, and run deeper. And if you like that, I think we are going to be friends.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

Entrepreneurship taught me I can create my own friend groups.

When I was in high school I was part of a few natural groups. I played football and felt like part of the team. I participated in track & field and I felt like I was part of that team too. The track team was far bigger and was co-ed. Which was cool. Both teams offered me a great sense of belonging and contributed to my identity. Although I discovered neither was an acceptable form of identity for the TSA or for most college bars.

College

When I attended the University of Wisconsin I continued my track and field career. The track team gave me a sense of belonging to a special group. It hit that Goldilocks sweet spot of being bigger than I was alone, which is key, but much smaller than the full student population at UW Madison of 43,000. The track team gave me a social group, an identity, and a support system that prevented me from ever feeling lost in the sea of studentia.

This was the 1995 Big 10 Championship team. We won again in 1996. And yes, we did have color photography back then. Just not colored media guides.

Work Work Work Work Work Like Rihanna.

After college, I joined the workforce. I felt a sense of belonging at each of the advertising agencies that employed me. Those included Cramer Krasselt, Engauge, and Moxie. Interestingly, I also felt a sense of belonging within many of my clients’ organizations. I’m not sure if that was a result of my strong personal relationships or my delusional thinking.

Coworker friends from NYC, Columbus, Pittsburgh and Atlanta.

Entrepreneurship

When I started my own advertising and idea agency, The Weaponry, I felt an extreme sense of belonging. Because I created the agency itself, the organization was born with a place for me. But thanks to Thomas Edison, this created a lightbulb moment for me.

The Weaponry Friends.

What happened as a result of creating The Weaponry was that I realized that I had the power to create my own groups to be part of. So I started reforming social groups from my past that had disbanded because of the time and space continuum.

Getting The Band Back Together

I started with my original peer groups. I helped re-organize my high school football team. I helped pull together the guys from my class who played together. We now have a text group that chirps regularly with hilarity. We have Zoom calls to catch up. Thanks to our re-strengthened connections, we make real efforts to connect in person whenever we can. In fact, I have seen 6 of the guys in person this summer alone. (By alone I mean just during the summer. We weren’t alone. We were actually together.)

I helped my high school class get together via Zoom in February and in person in July.

Like adding water to orange juice concentrate, I also helped reconstitute my college track team. We now gather every couple of months on Zoom. Those relationships were a huge help in 2020 as we navigated health, financial, racial, and political craziness. Our team offered a trusted and safe space for a diverse family of brothers to discuss important but sensitive topics. We are also jonesing to gather again in person once our latest health crisis is behind us. (Oh, you didn’t know we had a health crisis?)

New Kids On The Block

However, I didn’t simply reform groups I had been part of in the past. I envisioned groups I wished existed. Then I started to create them too. Today, I regularly think about new and nuanced groups to create. Just as a chef considers recipes with new and novel combinations of ingredients, I think about how various people would form an interesting new social group. Then I make it happen. You can do it too. It’s easier and more rewarding than you think.

An original collection of former UW Badger varsity athletes.

Key Takeaway

Social groups are human creations. So create and maintain the groups you want to be part of. If you envision a great new group of humans, make it happen. If you want to recreate a group from the past, reform it. You will be surprised at how interested others are in being included in a social group, new or old. Most people simply don’t know they have the power to make it happen. Now you do.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

Why you should share your circle with more people.

When you first meet someone new, you have nothing in common. At least not that you know of. You are just two individual circles in a Venn Diagram, separate and distinct, with no shared areas. Like the lenses of John Lennon’s glasses. (Imagine that for a moment. It’s easy if you try.)

However, the more time you spend together the more the circles in your Venn Diagram will overlap, like the Mastercard logo. (Which is priceless.) This Venning happens for 3 reasons:

  1. Conversation reveals how much you have in common.
  2. You share everything new that you experience together.
  3. Through discussion, idea sharing, and learning you begin to incorporate their knowledge and thinking into your own.
Venn Diagrams show venn you have things in common and venn you don’t.

This phenomenon of Venning is extremely valuable. It is key to friendship and courtship. It is how people with diverse backgrounds and experiences profit from each other. This sharing leads to understanding, acceptance, and ultimately to peace and goodwill.

Venning is the reason to network. By meeting others and learning what they know and who they know you not only grow the number of people you have in common with others, but you also incorporate their body of knowledge into your own.

This process can have a powerful influence on your career. By spending time with those who have more experience than you, you pick up their knowledge and techniques. It is key to apprenticeships, internships, mentorships, and probably building ships. You can quickly accelerate past the natural pace of learning and mistaking on your own through the guidance you receive from others.

Charlie ‘Tremendous’ Jones  said, “You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” This is because both the books and the people will add to your knowledge, your way of thinking, and your ability to connect to others. And evidently, the more people you know the more likely you are to pick up a tremendous nickname.

Key Takeaway.

Meet as many people as you can. Learn who and what they know. Absorb as much knowledge, experience and perspective as possible. Tap into their networks, and bring as many of their people into your own sphere as you can.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

It’s time for you to enjoy quality time with others again.

One of my favorite things to do is spend time with other humans. I am naturally curious, like George. I love hearing other people’s stories, experiences and perspectives. While I always regret wasting time consuming nutrition-less digital nonsense, live, human interactions almost never disappoint. (Except when I interact with Debbie Downer, Andy Angry or Michael Myers.)

Covid-19 and the cancelation of up-close and personal interactions was super odd. But I adapted. I really enjoyed my focused time with my wife and 3 kids. But the experience dragged on so long that I almost forgot what I was missing with other non-nuclear family interactions. Until recently.

I was pfully vaccinated in early May, and I am now a Pfizer pfan pfor life. With so many others in my circles now vaccinated, life feels more and more normal (or moremal) all the time.

But over the past few weeks things have grown insanely normal. I have enjoyed in-person meetings with clients, in-person chocolate milk meetings, (because I don’t drink coffee), breakfasts, lunches and dinners. I have invited people to drop by my office. And I am visiting people in their offices, homes, and vans down by the river.

Art and Laurie Mazor, my former next door neighbors in Atlanta, are great people who I have had a great mask-less time with recently.

It all feels like a social springtime. Conversations are blooming. Interesting topics are popping up. New collaborations are unfurling. But it’s nothing to sneeze at. Because when humans come together they create the future through ideas, visions, collective action, motivation and inspiration.

Key Takeaway

Get vaccinated. And get back together. The best part of life is our togetherness. Inspire and encourage others to do great, fun, interesting, meaningful and important activities together. Help each other. Share talents, connections and energy. Grow personally and professionally through positive shared in-person experiences. They are available to you again. Take advantage of it. Because great relationships are your secret advantage in life.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

5 Reasons why I got vaccinated.

On March 16th, 2020 my family and I began playing an epic game of dodgeball with the COVID-19 virus. We played to win. And winning meant not getting the virus. Every day the virus didn’t hit our home felt like a win. Like we made it to the next round on Frogger.

Gamifying COVID avoidance made it a competition that my family and I could win. But we didn’t hibernate. Not even close. In 2020 we traveled to Hilton Head Island, South Carolina, and road tripped from Wisconsin to Idaho. But we were smart and precautitory. We wore masks, socially distanced, washed, sanitized, wore garlic necklaces, burned our stuffed animals as sacrifices, and drank the blood of albino newts. You know, the basic CDC stuff.

The Vaccine

I have been a big fan of a vaccine for Covid-19 since, well, since the first talk of developing one. Because it is the only way we as a planet can beat the virus and party like it’s 2019.

Just as polio, chickenpox, measles, and corded telephones feel like challenges of the past, I wanted Covid-19 to be retired to the lore of yesteryear. That’s why I was ready for the vaccine as soon as I could get it.

On Saturday I got my second round of the Pfizer vaccine. I had no side effects other than my arm looked band-aidy. I know that there are still a few days before I reach maximum resilience, but I feel like I have won the game of dodgeball. And I am taking great pride in defeating my opponent, thanks to an army of scientists who quickly whipped up a sweet vaccine like Tom Cruise whipped up sweet cocktails in that movie where he whips up cocktails. (I forgot the name of the movie.)

Reasons For Getting Vaccinated

I was never afraid of getting sick. I’m not high risk. I have a robust immune system from all the dirt I ate as a kid, and as an adult. But I have plenty of other reasons to get vaccinated. Here they are in a particular order.

5 Reasons I got vaccinated.

  1. Because my kids can’t. I didn’t want to bring COVID home and infect 3 kids who didn’t have an option to get vaccinated. I didn’t want to be the reason they missed school, sports, music programs, or the Dad Appreciation Parade (that I am organizing).
  2. I don’t want to get other people sick. Other friends, family, coworkers, and lovely elderly people would be vulnerable if I got infected. I don’t like the idea of doing avoidable harm to others.
  3. Flying In a non-COVID year I fly a lot. Flying is odd right now. And the empty middle seats are going away. To fly again regularly I will feel best if I am not immunally naked.
  4. I want to see people again. Getting together with other people who have been vaccinated is a no-brainer. Getting together with people who have not been vaccinated is still a brainer. I don’t want people to have reservations about seeing me. I just want people to have reservations with me.
  5. To get back to business. Yes, my team at The Weaponry has been fully functional throughout the pandemic, with one notable exception. We really haven’t spent time with our clients or prospective clients in person in well over a year. There has been very little in-person relationship building. That is one of the greatest joys of business. And my next 2 weeks are already filling up with plans to see clients and friends (and client-friends) for the first time in 15 months.

Key Takeaway

Getting vaccinated feels like a win. It is how we defeat the threat of COVID-19. It is how we protect each other, especially those who can’t or shouldn’t get the vaccine right now. It is how we get back to life as we want it to be. And it is how we get back to developing culture within our organizations, and relationships within our communities. I am thrilled to be fully vaccinated, and I hope to see you in person soon!

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.