Category: self improvement

How do you compare to other successful people?

There are people who are doing life better than you. They are more successful than you. They are happier. They have better careers and better relationships. And they are more enlightened on their spiritual journeys. They even have better teeth than you. Not that there is anything really wrong with your teeth. Most of your teeth are good.

But you are also doing life better than a lot of other people. In fact, there are people who would trade places with you in a hummingbird’s heartbeat. They envy your success, happiness, career, and relationships. They are also jealous of your good teeth.

Perspective Calibration

It’s important to remember both of these groups. Those who are doing better than you give you something to strive for. They provide a higher standard for you to hit. They are valuable reminders that you can do better and be better. (You better, you better, you bet.)

Those ahead of you help spur your growth. Which is a valuable gift. Plus, when you catch up to these people, and then pass them, it makes for a great scene in the movie version of your life. Which can now be made thanks to the end of the Hollywood actors’ strike.

However, just as you look to those ahead of you, others look to you as a model to strive for. Yes, others aspire to be on your level. These people provide a valuable perspective on how much you have, how good you are, how far you have come, and how much you have to be grateful for. Remember this as you dig into your cranberries and yams.

Key Takeaway

Always look both ways. See those who are better than you, and let them inspire you to grow and improve. But also see those who are behind you on the continuum of growth and development. They help you recognize your own successes, accomplishments, and gifts. Appreciating your strengths and successes yet seeing all that is still possible ahead is the golden spot in life. That valuable real estate is available to everyone willing to recognize that they are already there.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Create a new and improved version of yourself every day.

The world is iterative. There are new and improved versions of everything all the time. Software, apps, iPhones, laundry detergent, and watermelon. It all just keeps getting better, more valuable, and more seedless.

You have to do the same thing. Every day you should go to bed as a better version of yourself than you were when you woke up.

You will naturally learn something new every day. But if you are not actively directing your learning then the things you learn may be of little value. By following the tabloids you might learn that Matthew Perry died. But that won’t help you much unless you are a funeral director, casting director, or tabloid publisher.

Force yourself to learn something new and valuable every day. Read. Study. Subscribe to a newsletter. Listen to a helpful podcast. Get one of those 365-day Calendars. Some of my best learnings have come from those things. Seriously.

Work on your habits. They make improvements automatic. Like that Pointer Sisters song.

Improve your physical, mental, emotional, and psychological fitness too. Never settle. Settling is for dust. And 1800s pioneers.

They say that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. But you are not a dog. Humans can learn tricks and improve themselves all the way to the last station. So let’s do this, dawg!

Key Takeaway

Always be improving yourself. Today. Tomorrow. And every day after that. You do this by starting to do better things. You stop doing bad things. Read. Study successful people. Educate yourself. Learn from your mistakes and missteps. This creates new and improved versions of You every day. And there is no limit to how great you can ultimately be.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

4 Halloween tricks to success that can benefit you every day.

It’s Halloween! Today is one of the most interesting days of the year. If aliens landed on Earth today they would have a very different impression of the place than if they landed on, say, Saint Patrick’s Day. (Note: Earthlings are all green and smell like cabbage and alcohol.)

But hidden under the clown masks and Freddy Kreuger costumes are important life lessons. As you go about your day today note these 4 tricks to success from Halloween that can benefit you any day.

Dress the part.

If you don’t wear a costume you are not likely to get candy. Remember that when you go on a job interview, a new business pitch, or a date. Portraying the right image is important. Perception is reality. At The Weaponry our dress code is simple: Dress the way you want people to see you. Also, today, make sure to really wear clothes. Halloween shouldn’t be an excuse to walk around in your underwear. (That last point is really just a note to self. You do you.)

Ask for what you want.

On Halloween, people walk up to total strangers, ask for a treat, and get it. It’s a great reminder to ask for what you want. Often it’s just that easy. Here’s more proof.

Things look scarier than they really are.

Those ghosts, goblins, and Tammy Faye Bakkers you see at Halloween may look scary on the surface. But peak a little closer and you realize that they only look scary. It’s really just the kid down the street. Or Sally from accounting. Many of the most intimidating things in life are not that scary once you actually confront them. I discovered this about entrepreneurship, writing a book, buying my own health insurance, and raising teenagers.

The more doors you knock on the more doors will open for you.

When a kid comes home with a pillowcase loaded with candy you know that they went to a lot of houses. Because the more doors you knock on the more doors open. And the more doors that open the more John Candy you get. It is true at Halloween. And it is true in sales, job hunting, fundraising, dating, and advertising. Knocking on doors creates opportunity. And opportunity turns into success.

Key Takeaway

Happy Halloween! To be successful today, remember to dress the part. Know that things look scarier than they really are. Ask for what you want. And the more doors you knock on the more doors will open for you. Also, check your candy before you eat it. And if you have any extra Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups, send them my way.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

I was given $200 I could spend on anything. Here’s what I bought with it.

Three years ago $200 fell out of the sky and into my hand. No, it wasn’t 20,000 pennies from Heaven. That would have been cool. But life-threatening.

Gusto, the online payroll processing vendor that The Weaponry uses to pay our people, ran a referral promotion that allowed us to share our referral code with others. If someone we referred signed up for Gusto we would both get a $200 gift card. And when my friend Theresa Pride, owner of Pride Physique Pilates and Physical Therapy in Atlanta ran her first payroll we both received our Amazon gift cards.

This created a fun opportunity. Because Amazon sells almost every product under the sun. (Or under the moon if you shop at night.) So I could buy practically any product on the planet that costs $200 or less. I felt like I was at Chuck E Cheese’s and got to choose anything on the prize wall valued at $200 or less. It was a little kid’s dream come true for this big kid.

What Will I Do?

As I pondered my opportunity my mind returned to my favorite childhood book, Farmer Boy by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I have read that book more times than any other book.

One of my favorite stories in the book recounts a time when Almanzo Wilder was at his town’s 4th of July celebration and his cousin dared him to ask his Dad for a nickel to buy a lemonade. Nervously, Almanzo asks his father for the nickel. After a long thoughtful moment, Almanzo’s Pa pulls a 50-cent piece out of his pocket (not out of Da Club) and reminds Almanzo about all of the hard farm work that goes into earning 50 cents. He hands Almanzo the coin and tells him he can buy the lemonade, drink it up and it will be gone. Or he can use the money to buy a suckling pig, raise it up, and sell it at a significant profit. You know, farm stuff.

Almanzo quickly recognized the opportunity to turn his 50 cents into far more value by investing it, rather than spending it. He bought the pig.

150 years later Almanzo inspired me to do the same thing. Only not with a pig.

Investing vs Spending

I could have used the $200 Amazon gift card to buy practically anything. But I chose to invest it in books for my library.

I invested the money in my own education. And I learned far more than $200 worth.

I learned lessons that make me better at my job. I learned lessons that make me a better person. I bought books that inspire me to do more, to recognize opportunity, and to think bigger.

Here are the books that I bought and added to my library and to my personal knowledge:

Grit by Angela Duckworth

Never Split The Difference By Chris Voss

The 4 Disciplines of Execution by Chris ‘Don’t Call Me McKenny’ McChesney

The Richest Man in Babylon by George Clason

Principles by Ray Dalio  (This is not about people who lead schools)

Start With Why by Simon Sinek  (I heard this inspired The Carpenters to write the lyrics to Close To You)

Pitch Anything by Oren Klaff

Estimating Rehab Costs by J Scott. (This is about rehabbing properties, not going to rehab.)

So Good They Can’t Ignore You by Cal Newport

Cashflow Quadrant by Robert Kiyosaki

The Book on Rental Property Investing by Brandon Turner

The Innovators Dilemma by Clayton Christensen

The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz

Call Me Ted by Ted Turner

While I spent $200 on these books, I couldn’t possibly calculate all the value I have received in return. I highly recommend all of these books.

Key Takeaway:

Remember not to just spend on yourself. Invest in yourself. Invest in your education, your skills, and your motivation. I hope you get to experience a fun and revealing test like this. And I hope you put thought into it, so you get a great deal out of it like I did.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The best way to be successful is to find and focus on this one thing.

You have a valuable talent. Everyone does. You probably have more than one. But just being born with a valuable talent doesn’t make it valuable. Sorry, Charlie.

To unlock the value of your natural talent you need to do 3 things:

  1. You have to recognize what your valuable talent is.
  2. You have to develop that talent.
  3. You must find opportunities to put your talent to work where it creates value.

Valuable talents could be anything. Here is a non-exhaustive list to get your introspector introspecting.

  • Listening
  • Organizing
  • Remembering
  • Strategizing
  • Pruf Reeding
  • Creativity
  • Drawing Attention
  • Details
  • Humor
  • Caring
  • Impersonating Arron Neville.
  • Managing
  • Sales
  • Art
  • Picking Locks
  • Throwing Parties
  • Music
  • Teaching
  • Making Long Lists Less Boring To Read
  • Math
  • Words
  • Energy
  • Vision
  • Mechanics
  • Relationships
  • Looking good (This talent pairs well with all others)
  • Discovering talent in others

Key Takeaway

Don’t waste time trying to strengthen your weaknesses. That doesn’t unlock the kind of value that will make you highly successful. Instead, focus on your talents. Discover them. Develop them. Put yourself in situations where you can use them every day.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The key to your personal happiness and the one thing that will prevent it.

One of the greatest studies ever conducted on humans is the Grant Study, also known as the Harvard Human Happiness Study. It has tracked the same people for 85 years. And it has developed a clear conclusion that the greatest influence on human happiness and fulfillment is strong personal relationships. Having close, meaningful relationships with your friends and family will make you happier and healthier, and help you live longer. Which helps explain why Keith Richards and Willie Nelson are still kicking.

But what if the relationship has sailed?

Yet strong and deep personal relationships take work to maintain. You undoubtedly have good friends or family members that you were once close to, but now it has been a long time since you talked. Maybe there was an issue. Or a move. Or you no longer work together. Because many of our strongest friendships develop at work. Which is where I met my wife. And a bunch of other great friends that I didn’t marry.

Yet studies clearly show that resuming and restrengthening your relationships will have a positive impact on your health and happiness.

Hello…

Interestingly, studies also show that the number one reason people don’t reach out to friends, family and former coworkers after long silences is that they worry that reaching out will be awkward.

Which means that worrying about the awkwardness of a conversation with a once close friend or family member is one of the greatest barriers to human happiness.

Really? Awkwardness? (Said the way Allen Iverson said ‘Practice?‘) That’s crazy. And we’re not even talking about real awkwardness. Just the perceived potential of awkwardness.

In reality, most people are thrilled to hear from a friend or family member they haven’t heard from in a long time. Which means that by reaching out you are doing yourself and the person you are reaching out to a solid. Because reconnected and reestablishing meaningful relationships is not only highly enjoyable, it is extremely good for your health and happiness. Which makes you feel like Pharrell Williams in a room without a roof.

Key Takeaway

Strong personal relationships are the key to happiness, health, and longevity. Invest time and energy in your current relationships. Reconnect with friends and family members you have not been in touch with lately. Get over the awkwardness. It will be worth it.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The great life lesson you can learn from these two stars.

Recently I did my best Alice In Wonderland impression and fell down an internet rabbit hole or two. First I looked up information on NBA star, Damian Lillard, the newest member of the Milwaukee Bucks. Then I looked up info on Travis Kelce, the tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs. Kelce has received a lot of attention lately for his relationship with Taylor Swift. There must be a lot of pressure dating Taylor Swift. Because you know going into it that if you break up there be a song about you. And you also know that you are never, ever getting back together. Like, ever.

Are you ready for this, Travis?

Kelce and Lillard have a lot in common, besides unusual last names. They are both amongst the very best ever to do what they do.

Lillard is a 7-time NBA All-Star. Kelce is an 8-time Pro Bowler. (Those 2 designations are equivalent in their sports. Because in basketball you star, and in football you bowl.)

They both make a shipload of money. Lillard will make $45 million dollars this season. Kelce will make $14 million dollars. (Note: The NBA plays 82 games per season and the NFL plays 17. Which means Kelce is actually paid more on a per-game basis. However, he is also more likely to spend retirement sitting in a dark room struggling to remember his catchphrase. So let’s call it a wash.)

Two Stars

But the other thing they have in common may surprise you. Coming out of high school they were both considered 2-Star athletes.

Damian Lillard proves that even if you are a 2-Star high school athlete you can still make $45 million a year and get to live in Milwaukee.

This means that the experts who evaluate potential college talent rated them both as 2-star prospects in high school. That’s not on a 2-point scale but on a 5-point scale. Said another way, there were 3 tiers of athletes considered better than them.

Yet, here they are. Both make millions of dollars playing their sport at the highest level and are considered amongst the very best at what they do. They make headlines. They date superstars. And perhaps more noteworthy, they are causing dudes like me to check out their Wikipedia pages on their lunch break.

Key Takeaway

Don’t believe the lack of hype. Believe in yourself and your abilities and skills. Believe in your self-improvement journey and potential. Believe that your mind is your most powerful weapon. Your mind determines what you are really capable of. It is not where you start that matters. It is the work you are willing to put in to get to where you want to go. Your will is the great equalizer. Until it is the great surpasser.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to respond to your imperfections like a manufacturing facility does.

I am trying to get better all the time. But the reality is that I am not always better.

I’m building good habits. But I still have bad habits too.

I try to be patient and kind. But I still get angry, lose my temper, and say naughty words.

I try to be a doer. But too often I procrastinate. (Although sometimes I don’t procrastinate until later.)

I try not to let my phone take attention away from my family and friends. But then I’ll find something hilarious on social media, or wonder about the Wordle word, or get a notification about the famous person from the 80s who got eaten by a snake, and just have to click on it to find out if it was David Coverdale.

Why? Why?

Tell em that it’s human nature.

But I keep trying.

And I don’t let my lesser actions and behaviors define me. Or confirm that I am not actually getting better. I know I am.

Instead, I always think about those signs you see in a factory that count the number of days they have gone without a workplace injury. They are reminders of your accumulated success. And encouragement to keep the streak alive. And presumably the people too.

So I have counters in my head, on my phone, and on pieces of paper around my house tallying my successful days doing or not doing various things. The streaks feel good. So I focus on extending them and not breaking the chain. But when I do, I reset the clock, start again, and try to go longer, if not forever.

Key Takeaway

Self-improvement is directional. It is not about absolutes. Increase the number of days and times you do the right things the way you want to do them in your head. Do the good things more. Do the bad things less. Focus on building your streaks. A winning streak is an uninterrupted sequence of successes. That should always be your goal. Just keep adding days. Go as long as you can without messing up. The goal is to be better for the rest of your life. But if you break the chain, always start a new chain and try again.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to make your wishes come true by adding this special ingredient.

I have always wanted great things in my life. Personal and professional success. A happy marriage to a hottie. A loving family. Adventurous travel. Good health. And an endless supply of cheese curds.

I pray about these things. Okay, not the cheese curds. Because I assume God already knows. But it helps to feel that I have expressed the things I want in life to a higher power who has the ability to influence how the ball bounces and how the cookie crumbles.

However, there is an African proverb that says:

When you pray move your feet.

It’s a great reminder that it’s not enough to ask for what you want.

You have to take action. You have to force your dreams to life.

Work. Do. Act. Build. Make. Go.

That’s the best way to ensure you get the things you pray about.

Key Takeaway

The Lord helps those who help themselves. Don’t just dream, wish and pray. Take action. Because the more action you take the more likely your prayers are to be answered.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Enjoy the great results of taking just a little action every day.

Success is a stacking exercise. It is about taking a little action every day. (The way Elvis Costello wrote the book.) Just take a little action, day after day. And watch the results stack up.

Here are the types of actions you should take every day.

Reading. Read a page a day, 5 pages a day, or 10 pages a day. At 5 pages each day you will read over 1500 pages in a year. At 10 pages you will read 3650. That’s a lot of knowledge gain in the membrane.

Exercise: Exercise strengthens your body and helps you burn calories. By taking a little action every day, you stack strength gains and weight loss, or weight control. And look better naked.

Meet Someone New. If you stack a new person into your life every day you will meet 365 new people this year. That would transform your life, both personally and professionally. It would also increase the cost of your Christmas cards. And you would need a bigger budget for ham sandwiches at your funeral. But the rest is upside.

Reach out to someone in your friend circle or network every day. Make contact, rekindle a friendship, or start a conversation every day. That’s relationship maintenance. And it’s just as important as making new friends, in the same way that it used to be important to not just take pictures, but get the film developed back before digital photography came along and ruined my analogy.

Write. A journal, book, plan, blog, play, movie, whatever. Writing a little each day will help you create. And it will help you improve your own thinking. Writing my ideas down helps me more than it helps those who read what I write. Sorry.

A step on a master plan. You have a big plan, goal, or idea. I know you do. Commit to taking one action towards it every day and that master plan will come to life. That’s exactly how I built my business, The Weaponry, from dust. It’s how I wrote my book What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? And it’s how Eric B. and Rakim went from thinking of a master plan to getting paid in full.

Play an instrument: Playing an instrument every day for just 5 or 10 minutes will stack into a valuable and enjoyable skill. Anyone can do it. You can teach yourself with learn-to-play books and online videos. Start now and you’ll be able to play Christmas songs by Christmas time. Especially if you play a kazoo.

Learn a new word in a different language. When you travel internationally you realize how many words there are to know beyond your native tongue. If you add 365 new words in Spanish, Chinese, French, Norwegian, or the language of your choice each year you would add significantly to your understanding of the world and your ability to communicate with people. Plus it’s the best way to avoid ordering Veau or Escargot if you are not into such things.

Key Takeaway

The rewards of simple actions, done every day, stack into huge and powerful piles of value. Just like money saved and invested. And little by little, they transform your life. So start today. It doesn’t take much. It just takes a little every day.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.