Tag: mental health

Are you your own bestie or worstie?

I have been listening to a lot of Parker McCollum lately.

The country singer just released his 5th studio album, titled “Parker McCollum.” I am not sure how you decide to name your 5th album after yourself. Unless you are The Jackson 5.

One of the songs on the album is titled, “My Own Worst Enemy.”

The song is interesting. And entertaining.

But I can’t relate to it.

I realized while listening to the lyrics of the song that I am definitely NOT my own worst enemy. I have other people for that.

I am not self destructive.

I don’t talk smack to myself.

I don’t beat myself up.

I don’t have a cluster of bad habits or vices that I can’t unscrew.

Unfortunately, my relationship with myself will not inspire a classic country song. Or anything blues related.

But acknowledging that I am not my own worst enemy led to an interesting new question in my squishy gray matter.

Who am I to me?

Since the worst enemy title doesn’t fit me, I started wondering if the opposite was true.

So I asked myself:

Am I my own best friend?

I found that I could make a strong case for the affirmative.

The conversations I have with myself are supportive.

I give myself pep talks.

I encourage myself.

I remind myself of the reasons to believe in myself.

I keep a list of examples of success close at hand for regular reference.

I keep a list of examples of success in my Rolodex to call on when needed.

I start each day with an encouraging talk. Sometimes in my head. Sometimes aloud. Sometimes I can’t tell the difference.

I turn to myself in challenging situations.

I don’t suffer from imposter syndrome.

Instead, I always ask, “Why not me?”

And as much as I enjoy spending time with others, I am quite happy in my own company.

When people don’t like me, I typically consider it to be their issue, not mine.

I laugh to myself and at myself a lot. Which also feels a little loony.

I reminisce a lot with myself.

I reflect a lot on myself.

In fact, this writing is a reflection on my reflection. Which is totally metta.

When I was considering starting the advertising and ideas agency The Weaponry, I really believed I could do it. And I sent myself out to talk to people I thought would corroborate that belief.

I trust myself.

And while I know I am not perfect, I forgive myself for my shortcomings. I work on getting better every day and focus on the potential and the progress. Which is a friendly thing to do for yourself.

Key Takeaway

For better or worse, I act like my own best friend. (Which may also be a sign that no one else wanted the job.) I encourage you to strive to be your own best friend. Encourage yourself. Forgive yourself. Believe in yourself. Trust yourself. Be kind to yourself. The rest of the world will throw enough challenges your way. Don’t make your relationship with yourself another obstacle to success. Treat yourself as if you were your own BFF. It will make you happier, more confident and more resilient. And you will find there is no limit to what you can accomplish together.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

The magic ingredient that leads to high performance when it counts most.

This weekend I will be coaching at the Wisconsin State High School Track & Field Championships in La Crosse, Wisconsin. I work with two great athletes who have had impressive seasons and are in the running to end the state meet and the season, standing on the podium with medals around their necks. And when this Hollywood ending happens, I will treat everyone to the non-alcoholic drink of their choice at the local Kwik Trip.

At this point in the season, all of the preparation is done. As we say in track & field, the hay is in the barn. (I think they also say that in farming.)

My job now is mostly not to do anything to mess my kids up. Which is also my number one responsibility of parenting. But I have found that there is one thing coaches can do at the pinnacle of the season that helps more than anything else.

Build Their Confidence

Two weeks ago, my son Magnus, who is in 8th grade, won the Wisconsin State Middle School Track Meet in the discus. When I asked him afterwards when he knew he was going to win, he said, ‘After my first throw.’ I then asked him how he built his confidence for the meet. He replied, ‘I just focused on feeling happy, excited and playing a great, exciting song in my head.’

That sounds like a winning formula to me.

Why Confidence Is So Important

Confidence is the magic ingredient in high-pressure situations. When the heat is on, it is confidence that keeps you cool.

Confidence makes you feel as big as the moment itself.

Confidence enables you to focus.

Confidence keeps your attention on yourself and the things you can control. (Like Janet Jackson.)

Confidence makes you feel prepared. Like a Boy Scout.

Believing in yourself when you are facing strong competition is the ultimate win.

Self assurance can be felt by others.

Your visible confidence, as communicated through your body language, positively impacts your teammates and negatively impacts your competition.

Confidence keeps you fully engaged in the competition to the very end, preserving the premium value of your final efforts.

Confidence quiets the doubt. And fear. And gets the butterflies to quit flapping and flying in your stomach.

Confidence neutralizes the shifting landscape of competition.

Confidence helps you overcome a weak week of practice.

Confidence lets you lock into what you know.

Confidence lets your training shine through.

Confidence means you can’t wait to step up to the line, the runway, the circle or apron. (Or onto the field, court, pitch, rink, floor or whatever you call that thing that fencers stand on.)

Confidence helps you remember all of your preparation.

Confidence helps you remember all of your past successes.

Confidence helps you forget the times you fell short.

The Keys To Building Confidence In others

Shift the feedback diet from correction to celebration.

Share success stories parallel to their own story.

Provide a simple and clear mental game plan.

Remind them of their past successes.

Remind them of their preparation.

Focus on what they are doing right.

Let them know you believe in them.

Help them play to their strengths.

Reduce distraction.

Discount shortcomings.

Surround them with support.

Lead the cheers.

Never underestimate the power of a good movie.

Encourage them to compile their pre-competition soundtrack. (I suggest starting with Imagine Dragon or One Republic. And here’s my confidence-inspiring playlist on Spotify.)

Key Takeaway

Confidence is a game-changer. It helps you perform at your very best. It enables you to tap into all of your preparation and rise to the occasion. As a coach, leader or parent, your most important job is to instill confidence in those you lead. As a competitor, it is important to create your own competitive advantage by tapping into the magical powers of your own self-confidence. Create pre-competition routines, self-talk and soundtracks that build your self-belief. When you do, the results will naturally follow.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

100 Things I Freaking Love!

Happy Valentine’s Day! Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the method of modern love. Because love is the most powerful, valuable and positive emotion in our treasure chest. I have had daily reminders of how short life really is. (And not just for Kevin Hart.) So you need to make the most of your time on Earth. Spend as much time as you can doing the things you love, in places you love, with people you love. Like Doc, Isaac, Gopher, Julie and Captain Stubing.

To take stock of the things I love, I have created this list. I encourage you to take an hour to write down 100 things you love, too. Not only will it force you to think about your favorite people, places, and things, but it will also help serve as a map to live a life you love.

I did this exercise a few years ago. You can see my 2021 list here. I didn’t look at it before writing this list. So it will be interesting to see what did and didn’t make both lists.

Here’s what I came up with in 2025. There are many more things that could be on this list. Because there is so much to love in life. Never forget that.

Things I love in 2025, In A Particular Order.

  1. My wife Dawn
  2. My kids Ava, Johann and Magnus
  3. My parents, Robert and Jill Albrecht
  4. My sisters Heather, Alison and Donielle (that’s not a typo). And I love our crazy birthday story!
  5. Waking up before my alarm
  6. Creative ideas
  7. Putting a smile on my face when I first wake up.
  8. Making grumpy people smile.
  9. Helping my clients grow their businesses
  10. Reading graduate level books
  11. Skiing with my son Magnus
  12. Listening to my son Johann play piano or saxophone
  13. My home weight room. I can blast my own music and yell. It has a great vibe.
  14. Running my Ariens snowblower through a fresh snowfall. This line has been brought to you by Ariens.
  15. The taste of maple sap form a galvanized bucket. (Real Vermont Boy Stuff.)
  16. Mountain Biking
  17. Pizza
  18. Compound interest
  19. Hummingbirds
  20. Northern lights
  21. Boogie Boarding
  22. Printing photos from my adventures and hanging them on my wall as a reminder to really live
  23. Writing newsletters, blog posts, and books. Oh My!
  24. Seeing my people in real life
  25. Making a new friend on an airplane
  26. G-Shock Watches
  27. American Giant Hoodies
  28. My Topo Design Mountain pants (they don’t make them anymore.)
  29. My hiking boots
  30. Moonlight cross country skiing with my Dad in Vermont
  31. A Paris dinner cruise
  32. Floating down the Aare River in Bern, Switzerland
  33. The crazy traffic in Bangalore, India
  34. Bryce Canyon
  35. The Narrows at Zion National Park
  36. Seeing Bears in the Wild (when I’m not holding a salmon)
  37. Laughing until I cry
  38. My Jeep Rubicon
  39. The Weaponry
  40. The color red.
  41. Trucker hats
  42. My Halo pizza oven
  43. Making minds sparkle
  44. Giving keynote speeches
  45. Family reunions
  46. Guys trips
  47. My home theater
  48. Frozen bananas
  49. Getting upgraded to first class on Delta flights
  50. The Salt Lake City Airport
  51. Coaching my daughter Ava in track and field
  52. Coaching my son Magnus in football
  53. Buffalo (the animals and the wings)
  54. When things go wrong and you get a good story out of it
  55. A good comeback, in sports and in life
  56. Chocolate milk
  57. My wedding day (But once was enough.)
  58. My Grandparents
  59. My Aunts and Uncles
  60. Cousins (The relatives. Not the subs.)
  61. Black olives
  62. Grilled Cheese sandwiches
  63. Music Concerts
  64. Snowmobiling
  65. Chicago
  66. Hilton Head Island
  67. A great photo I was lucky enough to catch
  68. My Atlanta friends
  69. My friends from home in the Upper Valley
  70. Turks and Caicos
  71. Ben & Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk
  72. Vermont
  73. Ginger Beer
  74. Breakfast burritos
  75. Sunrises and Sunsets
  76. Great Comedians
  77. Great Churros
  78. Long road trips
  79. Baseball and football cards from the 1980s
  80. My Gerber tool
  81. Throwing the discus
  82. My Mack Weldon Atlas Bag
  83. The Republic of Tea Ginger Peach,
  84. Darn Tough Socks
  85. Atomic Habits by James Clear
  86. Connecting dots
  87. Simon Pearce glass
  88. Being totally present
  89. Roller Coasters
  90. The Last Dance documentary series
  91. Yahtzee (especially when I get Yahtzee twice in one game)
  92. The museum of memories I am building in my mind
  93. My John Deere lawn tractor.
  94. Mt. Rainier
  95. Sweet Tea
  96. A New York Strip (The steak. Don’t be pervy.)
  97. Fishing in the rain
  98. Maui Jim Sun glasses
  99. Luftballoons
  100. Someone else having hiccups
  101. Dalmatians

Key Takeaway

Fill your life with the things you love. The people, places, activities, feelings, foods, and drinks you love will lead you to a life you love. And life is too short to fill with anything else.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why Everyone Needs a Wish List Beyond the Holidays

This holiday season many people have a wish list.

This is a list of things that you would like to have.

Or used to have. But you lost it. Like that loving feeling. Now it’s gone, gone, gone.

You share your wish list with the people who are apt to give you a gift.

Usually this is your family or friends.

But sometimes, it’s a bearded dude in a red suit who leads an army of magical elves.

(And sometimes that works out far better than logic would indicate.)

The wish list does 2 valuable things:

  1. It forces you to think about the things you need and want.
  2. It helps others get you the things you need or want.

But a powerful tool like a wish list shouldn’t be limited to the holidays.

And it shouldn’t just be something you offer other people.

You should create a wish list for yourself.

It should include the things you would like to have. Both needs and wants. Big and small

The things on your wish list could be:

  • Material
  • Psychological
  • Emotional
  • Physical
  • Spiritual
  • Relational
  • Financial
  • Brown paper packages tied up with string

By creating a wish list, you are identifying the things that would improve your life.

Once you know what those things are you can pursue them.

You can attract them.

You can recognize them when you see them.

You can appreciate them when they arrive.

This wish list can be used to improve your personal life.

But it can also improve your professional career.

Or your business.

Or your community.

Or your wardrobe.

Because when you become clear on the things you really want, you create your own gravitational pull.

That’s when the things you really want find a way to find you.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

This week I was reminded of a valuable life lesson thanks to a Starbucks mishap.

On Thursday morning I met my great friend Roland ‘Rocky’ Larochelle for breakfast. We hadn’t seen each other for more than a year. When I arrived at the Starbucks he met me by the front door and we heartily greeted each other. It was a great start to the morning. Like Tony The Tiger Great.

Roland had already ordered, so I walked to the counter and ordered a breakfast sandwich and grabbed a chocolate milk from the cooler. Because chocolate milk is my jam. Then I made my way to the small round table where Roland was sitting with his vente coffee. As I sat down, excited to catch up on the past year with an old friend, Roland moved his coffee to the side of the table to make room for me. This is typically an uneventful act. But that morning, the act was most definitely eventful.

In the process of moving his tall and freshly full coffee, the cup tripped and tipped. In an instant, the entire drink splashed onto the table and then poured onto the floor.

The aftermath. It looks like the coffee spilled in the shape of Pangea.

That’s Just Life

These types of mishaps happen all the time. Things are constantly going wrong in both our professional and personal lives. How you respond to such events determines the tone of your life.

You can allow such incidents to make you angry, bitter, deflated or depressed. Or, you can recognize that these setbacks are an expected and unavoidable element of life. You take the hit and roll with it. Like Tina Turner. (That was supposed to be a reference to Proud Mary, not Ike.)

The filter you use to interpret your setbacks determines whether you are floored by them or strengthened.

The Response

For a brief moment after the spill, there was no response. It was like that moment after you see a flash of lightning before you hear the inevitable thunder. You know it’s coming. But you don’t know how soon it will hit. And you don’t know if it will rumble or crack.

Then it hit.

Roland and I both erupted in laughter. It was the best possible response. We recognized that our 20-year friendship had just added another funny story. A new layer. An event to talk about.

Roland is clearly a great guy to spill coffee with.

There is no use crying over spilled coffee. Even $7 coffee. So we moved our things to the next table and began the clean-up. We grabbed napkins and notified the barista-janitor behind the counter of the caffeinetastrophe that had just occurred at table #9.

Within 2 minutes there were no signs of the spill on the table or the floor. Just as the final drops were being mopped another Barista in her superhero apron appeared at our table and presented Roland with a replacement coffee that she had made without us even asking. Thanks, SuperBarsista! You saved the day!

Key Takeaway

Setbacks happen. Everywhere, all the time. It’s not your bad luck. It is life. And physics. Those things are constantly spilling your drinks, breaking your things, blocking your progress, and stealing your time. Just roll with it. These are the basic challenges in the game of life. Keep playing. It makes the whole adventure of life more interesting. It makes you stronger and more capable for the next challenge. And all those setbacks transform into stories. And sooner or later you realize that a good life is just a collection of good stories.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Here’s the best way to start a great new year in 2024.

Tonight is the big night! It’s New Year’s Eve! Like the Lexus December to Remember, it’s time to put a big red bow on 2023. Or, if your 2023 was a lemon, it’s time to put on some Del Amitri and kiss this thing goodbye. Either way, this is the biggest party night of the year. Because we always save the best for last. Or do we always start off with a bang? (I always forget.)

New Year. New You.

With the new year comes new expectations. We set goals and resolutions for the next 366 days. It’s exciting to think that, like a new iPhone or Fast & Furious release, the new and improved version of ourselves will hit the shelves tomorrow!

Most of us think our lives, habits and body fat will all get better, starting tomorrow morning. But there is one simple thing you can do tonight, on New Year’s Eve, to give yourself the best possible start to a great 2024.

Don’t stay up until midnight.

Go to bed at a reasonable hour tonight. Going to sleep early on New Year’s Eve is a wonderfully rebellious move that sets you up for success in the new year. I have gone to bed before midnight on New Year’s Eve for the past several years. And I love it.

No Bonus Points

You don’t get any credit, in either the old year or the new, for staying up to witness the clock tick to midnight. There will be very little productive work that happens between 10pm and midnight. If you haven’t made your goals in the first 364 days and 22 hours, you’re not likely to achieve them in the last 120 minutes.

The simple fact is that you don’t get a jumpstart on your goals, hopes, dreams or resolutions by staying up past midnight tonight. You get tired. And maybe you’ll start the new year with a hangover. Neither of which you really want.

The Downside To Staying Up Late

If you stay up until midnight tonight, one of 2 things will happen:

  1. You won’t get an early start tomorrow morning. Getting an early start to your day is the best way to be productive. So if you are motivated to achieve more in the year ahead, get up early and get going.
  2. You won’t get a good night’s sleep. Let’s say that you stayed up late, but also get up early tomorrow. That means that you are not fully recharged, fully energized, and ready to make January 1st an outstanding start to the new year. If you are serious about making positive changes, you should seriously get serious about creating good sleep habits, starting tonight.

Let’s get it started

Aim for getting a good 7 or 8 hours of sleep tonight. As we all know, the end is determined by how we begin. One great step leads to another. And one great day leads to another. Remember, the longer you wait to get into a new, positive habit, the less likely it is to happen.

Key Takeaway

Consider being a rebel tonight and turning in early. Get a great night’s sleep. Start 2024 early, well-rested, recharged and re-energized. It’s the best way to start your best year yet. Have a fun and safe New Year’s Eve!

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

What to do when you are pushed to your max.

I love driving in the mountains. Maybe it is because I grew up in Vermont, but I find the twists, turns, inclines and declines thrilling. I love the constantly changing scenery and inspiring views. Mountain driving is like life itself. It offers ups and downs, surprises, wonder and danger all packed closely together. Although in the mountains, the restrooms are always spread far apart.

One of the most fascinating features of mountain driving is the runaway truck ramp. Because of the long steep declines that are unavoidable in mountain driving, truck brakes can occasionally max out. Leaving truckers with no means to slow down or stop their vehicle. Remember Large Marge?

The runaway truck ramp is a last-resort safety measure. It is an off-ramp on the side of a downhill road that consists of an incline filled with gravel or sand. The ramp provides rolling resistance to decelerate a runaway truck and bring it safely to a stop. It’s a simple solution to a potentially deadly situation.

Runaway-Truck-Ramps

Whenever I see one of these ramps I can’t help but think that we should also have runaway people ramps. And not just for Julia Roberts. Because life can be hard on humans.

There are times when we all could use a good backup system to help us regain control. And given the challenges of the past several months, this is certainly one of those times. Stress, sadness, loss, anger, depression, and other mental illnesses can push us beyond our capacity to cope. So can debt and financial difficulties. Drugs and alcohol are famously hard on our brakes too. As are all forms of addiction. Except perhaps Jane’s Addiction. #JaneSays

When the challenges of life push you past your personal capacity do you have a runaway truck ramp? Do you have friends or family that will step in and help you through? Do you have a teacher, coworkers or a supervisor who can step up and listen or lighten the load?

Do you know which people or programs are available for you? No matter what challenges are maxing you out there is help available. There are specialized support groups, counselors and therapists. There are hotlines you can call that can help you with issues more serious than baking your Butterball turkey.

There are doctors and nurses and treatment facilities ready to help. There are websites and chats and technologically advanced resources you can tap into any time from anywhere. A simple google search will often help you find the type of support you need. And if you need any of these things, use them. They are prepared to help you regain control.

Key Takeaway

At some point, we all need backup help. The past several months have provided a wide variety of human challenges. If you feel like you are rolling downhill fast, it’s time to find some help. If you see others who are on a decline and struggling to slow down, step in and help them pump the brakes. We need to watch out for each other. There are plenty of great views just down the road. Let’s make sure we all get there safely.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this idea, please share it with them.

That is actually NOT the definition of insanity.

Do you know what the definition of insanity is? No doubt you have heard a proposed definition of insanity many times. In nearly every meeting about change, or broken processes someone breaks out TDOI. If you haven’t been in a course-correction meeting since the Korean War, here is the statement I am referring to:

 “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”  -unknown

This quote has been misattributed to everyone. Einstein, Twain, Franklin, Cheech, Chong.

But it is not true. I have degrees from The University of Wisconsin in both journalism and psychology. Which makes the inaccurate reporting of this psychological definition feel like a wheel of cheese under my proverbial mattress.

Here is the actual definition

Insanity:

noun. The state of being seriously mentally ill; madness:

or:  extreme foolishness or irrationality.

Insanity comes from the Latin ‘in’ (meaning not) and ‘sanus’ (which makes me snicker, but means healthy).  

When you put them together you get insane, meaning not healthy.

My suggestion

I encourage you to continue pointing out the problem of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. But let’s lose ‘the definition’ part. Definitions sound so… definitive. This statement is more of a creative observation. So let’s try it like this:

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

We can call this a metaphor instead of a definition. It still works. Yet it doesn’t make me want to throw my DSM-IV across the conference room table. Deal?