Category: life lessons

Why it’s so important to have competition in your life.

When I was a kid I competed a lot. First on the playground and in the yard playing games with my friends and sisters. Then in school, I played football and a little basketball. (The amount was little, not the size of the ball.) I competed in 10 different track and field events in high school. And in college, I competed in 4 track & field events at the University of Wisconsin,

Those years of athletic competitions were not only great fun, they were motivating. When you are competing you are testing yourself. You are pushing yourself to improve. You are either getting better or getting worse. And when there is always a win or a loss in the balance your actions and your days have meaning. (Even without Webster.)

A common theme among athletes is that they feel lost and struggle with their identity after their athletic careers end. Because their field of competition was central to their self-identity. Their life was set to the seasons of competition and preparation. And the competition gave them purpose and direction.

But I never felt lost without athletic competition. Even before I had Waze and Google Maps on my phone.

After Athletics

Today, I am a long way past my college athletics. But I still experience that competitive drive every day. In fact, my life is filled with more motivating competition than ever before.

11 Ways I am competing and keeping score today:

The first thing I do when I get out of bed each morning is weigh myself. I track my weight every day. Knowing that I am competing with the scale each morning drives my exercise and eating behaviors every day. This morning I weighed exactly what I weighed when I graduated from college.

I compete in reading. I always try to read more this year than last. I am currently on pace to read 40 books this year, my best year ever. My reading also feels like I am winning my competition to get smarter. So every time I sit down to read a few pages (I never read standing up) I feel like I am winning.

I compete with my net worth. I track it, grow it, and set goals for it. I enjoy this personal competition and the positive returns it provides.

I compete in book sales. I track the sales of my book What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? And I think about actions that help move more books. I get a score every month from my publisher. This is a fun competition with myself, and Dr. Suess.

I also compete as a speaker. Writing a book has created a lot of speaking opportunities. I try to speak to as many people each year as I can. I talk at schools, to companies, teams, conferences, trade shows, Rotary Clubs and Chambers of Commerce. (Which my son Magnus says sounds like a Harry Potter thing: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Commerce…)

I compete in the gym, lifting weights, trying to get stronger than yesterday. (Like the Beetles said.)

I compete in business at The Weaponry. Not only do I work to grow our business, but our team competes to help our clients grow and win in their industries too.

I compete as the coach of my son Magnus’ 7th grade football team. As the defensive coordinator, I compete each week to help our team stop our opponents. I spend a surprising amount of time in my late evenings watching game film of 7th graders playing football in order to win this competition.

I compete as the girl’s track team throwing coach at Homestead High School in Mequon, Wisconsin. My daughter Ava is on the team. I compete to help my girls set personal records, win meets, win championships, and rise on the school, state, and national rankings.

I compete for quality time spent with my family. Meal time, conversations in cars and kitchens, time coaching, helping with homework, watching movies, and taking walks. They all add up. And they are all valuable.

I compete to get this blog written and published 3 times per week. It is not easy to keep a blog going. You have to make it a competition. This is my 916 blog post.

But Why?

All of this competition gives me a competitive fire every morning when I get out of bed. The same kind of fire I had as an athlete. I look forward to each day, energized, like a drumming bunny toy. I take on each day with a scorecard for success that covers many areas of my life. And each night when I lay down to sleep I know whether or not I won the day.

Key Takeaway

If you want more meaning, more energy and more fire in your life, find areas to compete. Physical, business, reading, relationshipping, volunteering, coaching, playing, or weight loss. Anything that you want to do well and keep improving. Set benchmarks and keep raising them and pushing yourself. It’s an exciting way to feel like you are winning at life.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

An important reminder to get started because you learn faster by doing.

One of the great mistakes we make in life is waiting to act until we know everything there is to know about a subject. It seems we want to know everything there is to know about running a business before we start one. We want to know everything there is to know about investing before we commit our money. We want to know how to write a book before we actually write a book. And we want to know everything there is to know about raising a child before we ever have sex*. (*My kids may be reading this.)

Most of this quest for knowledge is simply procrastination. Starting the process is the greatest teacher of all. Because standard-issue humans learn best by doing.

When you take the first step the next step reveals itself. (Unless you are Eddie Rabbit, in which case you take that first step, ask her out, and treat her like a lady.) You will get better and smarter faster by starting than by studying alone. Until you take the first steps you don’t know what you don’t know. However, once you begin you quickly learn what you need to know next.

A Case in Point

I had thought about sharing some video lessons from my book What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? for a long time. I knew that the summaries from each chapter would translate into good shareable video messages. But I never acted on it. Because I wasn’t clear on the best way to do it.

Then one morning when I got to work I talked to Taylor Amann, our social media manager at The Weaponry (and resident American Ninja Warrior) to help me get started.

Here’s What happened.

  1. We set up her phone on our ring-halo light tripod.

2. We explored recording the video standing up and sitting down.

3. We placed my laptop behind the phone so I could read the script.

3. We found a teleprompter app on my computer that allowed us to scroll the script like the teleprompter a newscaster uses to deliver lines directly to the camera. (And, yes, I reminded San Diego to stay classy.)

4. After getting a take we liked Taylor found a good app that automatically translated my spoken word into words on the screen. So viewers could read the words I was saying as I said them. This is not only great for reinforcing the lesson I shared, but it made the video fully digestible with the audio off.

5. Then we discovered that the app, also had a teleprompter. Which would lead to an even better sightline to the camera than the laptop teleprompter offered.

6. Finally, we rerecorded the video, on the halo light tripod, using the new app, which turned Taylor’s phone into a perfect teleprompter/camera combo. The app automatically added the supers so you could read what I said in real time.

The Learning

What stood out to me about this process is that by getting started we kept getting smarter and smarter. Within 30 minutes we went from never having tried to record a video like this to having discovered the perfect app that made it simple to combine the recording, the teleprompter, the supers, and even add music, or a zany slide whistle.

The video is not perfect. My shirt is all scurzumpled. I don’t have the energy I’d want for a shareable recording. But we quickly went from nothing to knowing how to create the video we wanted through a simple progression of testing, learning, and improving.

Key Takeaway

Don’t wait to get started until you know everything. Condition yourself to take the first step sooner. Because the first step is the kindergarten step. All other learnings and lessons come as a result of that first step. What you learn from a book, class or video is just theory. The application is where the quick and useable lessons kick in. So get going. Get smarter as you go. And get back to me when you realize how useful this approach is.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why I completely changed my mind on a very important decision.

I never wanted a dog. I didn’t have one as a child. And there were a variety of factors that discouraged me from wanting one as an adult. The Big 5 for me were:

  1. The expense of dog ownership
  2. The damage a dog would do to my home and my slippers.
  3. The added work and responsibility of caring for a dog, given that I didn’t have enough time for the 4 other humans in my home.
  4. The cramp a dog would put on my personal freedom, especially related to travel, and staying inside on cold January mornings in Wisconsin. Woof.
  5. My wife and kids already provided my recommended daily allowance of cuteness.

Yet despite my well-founded reasons for not wanting a dog, my kids wanted a dog. And my wife wanted a dog. That didn’t matter to me. My reasons were better than theirs, which included things like, it will be fun. And, they are so cute.

Getting a dog was a non-negotiable issue for me. Despite all the negotiating my family brought to the non-bargaining table.

Until One Day…

However, 3 years ago I changed my mind. All of my reasons for not wanting a dog were still valid. But new information entered the decision.

One day, while reflecting on my life, I recognized how much my wife had supported my choices to help me live my ideal life. She didn’t flinch when I told her I wanted to become an entrepreneur and launch The Weaponry, the advertising and ideas agency I founded in 2016. She supported the additional work and isolation required when I wanted to start writing books. She supported the additional time and attention needed away from our home when I decided to coach my children in youth football and high school track and field.

In recognizing that my wife and family were supportive of the inconveniences that came with me living my ideal life, I recognized that in their ideal lives, they owned a dog.

We had room for a dog. We could afford a dog. And there were 4 other humans in my home that were willing to care for said imaginary dog. Yet I was preventing my wife and kids from having the life experience they all wanted.

So I changed my mind on something I never thought I would. Not for me. But because it was so important to them.

So in the winter of 2022, after much research and online shopping, we drove to South Carolina on a weekend, picked up an 8-week-old Border Collie named Strawberry, who we renamed Amicalola, and now call Lola for short. And we became a family of 6.

Today, with a year and a half of experience, the benefits of having a dog in our home are obvious. It has changed our family dynamic, mostly for the better. The rest of the family really does a lot to take care of her. And Lola loves me. Because Lola loves everyone. And she didn’t know that I didn’t want her in the first place

Key Takeaway

Don’t be afraid to change your mind. Changing your mind is a great sign of growth, learning and increased intelligence. Your decisions and opinions are made with the information you have at any given time. More information should alter your perspective. And eventually, that information may even change your vote.

We all make difficult decisions by sorting through a complex set of contrasting dilemmas. Whether you are weighing gun legislation, abortion rights, or whether or not to add a pet to your household. These are never black-and-white issues. They are grey issues because there are valid points both for and against both sides of every issue. The more you know about life the more you will adjust your view on most issues. Even if you don’t change your final vote, it will change your perspective and appreciation for a differing opinion. That’s a sign of increased intelligence.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why it’s smart to reach out when you don’t need anything.

I recently experienced a suspicious outreach. That happens when someone you don’t know very well or haven’t spoken to in a long time reaches out, suddenly eager to talk. Typically this means they are newly unemployed, have something they want to sell you, or a judge has asked them to let you know there is a sex offender in your neighborhood.

This person who contacted me and I have never met in person. He initially reached out to me a few years ago, but after his original introduction, there was never any maintenance to the relationship. In fact, he acknowledged his deadbeatness in his outreach. But suddenly he was eager to talk. Like a close-lipped criminal after being granted legal immunity. I could tell from the note that whatever he was selling at his Tupperware Party would be far more valuable to him than to me.

I don’t mind hearing about what you have going on or what you are trying to sell. But I am much more interested in talking about it if we have spent time talking about other things first.

A Rule of Thumb

Don’t meet and sell on the same day. Don’t do it on the second interaction either. Instead, create a base for your relationship before you develop your base for sales. As a good rule of thumb, meet, email, or call 3 times before you start asking for a transaction. Better yet, provide value to the other person first. Find an article or book they should read. Connect them with another person they should meet. Let them know if they have spinach in their teeth. You know, be helpful.

People don’t like to be sold, but they love to buy. Give others a chance to approach you about your offering first. If you develop a real relationship, and they are a good candidate for your offering, there is a good chance they will bring it up first if you just give them a chance.

Key Takeaway

Develop relationships first. Add value first. Once a good relationship is established the sale, donation or vote may come without an ask.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why it’s so important to take action before you need to.

My home project this morning is cleaning out our gutters. We recently had roofers replace the worn and missing cedar shingles on our house, in the middle of our street. They then treated the roof to extend the life of the cedar shakes. In the process a lot of little shingle slivers collected on the roof. After a recent rain, those slivers and bits washed down and collected in our gutters. Which is why my mind is in the gutter this morning.

Today is a beautiful, sunny day in Wisconsin. There is no chance of rain. Or snow. So the accumulated debris in my gutter won’t create any dam problems today. That’s why today is the perfect day for this eager beaver to clean the gutters out.

Get Ahead To Get Ahead

Success requires you to do the work when you don’t need to. Not when you do.

It is the off-season work that makes the difference in sports.

It is the relationship-building you do when you don’t need anything that makes the difference when you really do need a friend, favor, job, or sale.

It’s the regular dental cleaning that prevents the cavity. And the accompanying Cavity Creeps.

It is the process that you create and implement that ensures that all future jobs are done right, every time.

It is the money you saved and invested that accumulates interest while you sleep, Van Winkle.

It is the colonoscopy that prevents the polyp from becoming colorectal cancer. And you don’t want anything going bad with your colorectals.

Key Takeaway

Take action before you need to. Your preactions are far more valuable than your reactions. Preactions accumulate and create opportunities and success, while your reactions focus on problems that already exist. Often those problems could have been avoided or minimized by acting earlier. Remember, hard work is the easy work you didn’t do when you had the time. Get ahead of the work and you will get ahead in life.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How you can help a baby business grow to adulthood.

If you want to help people become really great at things you have to let them first be bad. It’s part of the process. Beginners need to know it is ok to fumble and bumble a bit as they find their way. When I started my advertising and ideas agency, The Weaponry, one of the best gifts I gave myself was permission to be an amateur. Because high expectations and standards at the start of a new journey tend to kill motivation, growth, and joy.

I have a client who just opened a new restaurant in a new town. Opening a new restaurant is a massive undertaking. It involves creating a new physical space and hiring an entire staff who have never run the operating system required to make the business work. The start is messy. (Kind of like the first draft of this blog post.) I have great respect for those willing to take on the difficult task.

My client had a soft opening event, where they invited people to come and test drive the restaurant, for free. This gave the chef, cooks, waitstaff and manager an opportunity to work out the kinks, like Ray Davies. Following the 2-day free-for-all opening, they remained open without fanfare for 2 weeks before their official grand opening event. Those 2 unadvertised weeks allowed the staff time to find their groove, like Stella. Or Madonna.

However, during those 2 weeks, a handful of people wrote negative Google reviews about their experience dining at this fledgling startup restaurant. They complained about the wait time or about the lack of niche condiments for their particular health challenge. And, yes, some wrote that their food didn’t come out to their liking. However, the outstanding reviews far outnumbered the negative, which offers an exciting and favorable glimpse into the future experience for everyone visiting the restaurant.

Support Baby Businesses.

When you visit a new store, restaurant or business, give them some grace. Just like a child needs time to learn, and a beginner of any age needs experience to improve, a new business needs time to become a well-oiled machine. Complaining publicly with negative reviews in the first month of operation doesn’t allow for the required maturation process.

When you publicly complain about an infant business you hurt its chances of ever becoming a full fledge business. And if we create an atmosphere where businesses don’t have time to learn and grow we will only ever have massive chain stores and restaurants. We would snuff out local entrepreneurship. Which would be McUnfortunate.

As parents, coaches and managers we calibrate our expectations to the age and experience of those we are trying to help. As customers, we should do the same. It is helpful for us to teach, coach, critique, and even complain about the shortcomings of our experience directly to the person or organization in question. But hold off on sharing your disappointment publicly through negative reviews until the organization is past the wobbly legs stage. Which I suggest is the first month of operation.

The new entity won’t work out every challenge within that first month. But they should figure out how to make their wrongs right with the customers through proper apologies, compensatory price adjustments, free extras, or an incentive to return for a second chance, like 38 Special.

Key Takeaway

If you want to encourage more great businesses in your community or spheres of interest, grant them permission to begin as amateurs. There will be mistakes and learning at the start. These are the occupational hazards of entrepreneurship and operating a new business. As customers, we owe it to newbies to offer honest constructive feedback to help them grow and mature quickly. Honest, early public praise is one of the most valuable assets a new business has. While early negative public reviews hurt a business’s ability to grow into the excellent resource you want and expect. By sharing early negative reviews directly with the staff, rather than the public, you become a valuable part of the improvement process. And you help accelerate their growth and maturation rather than hinder it.

If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

12 important life lessons for new graduates.

It’s graduation season! Students across the country are thrilled to finally be done with classes, done with books and done with teachers’ dirty looks. But what they will soon find out is that the real life lessons start now. Because suddenly your life becomes one big multiple-choice test. And if you thought you were done with all that writing, here comes the big surprise:

Now you have to write the story of your own life!

Looking back, I can see that I have learned far more since graduating from Hanover High School in Hanover, New Hampshire and The University of Wisconsin than I did in school. In fact, I read more now than I did in school. I ask more questions. I study people and events. I analyze cause and effect. And I know far more now than I did when I thought I knew it all. (Which may also be lyrics to a country song.)

If you are a new graduate, congratulations! Welcome to the club! Here are a few things that will help you in your exciting next chapter of life. They have been a huge help for me. Which is why I shared them in my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say?

12 Important Life Lessons For New Graduates.

  1. Kickstart your day with a smile. The first thing you should do every day, while still lying in bed, is put a big smile on your face. Science has proven that not only do we smile when we feel good, we actually feel good when we smile. Smiling is the easiest positive thing you’ll do all day. Yet it has the power to propel and protect you until you crawl back into bed at night. (So, if you haven’t smiled yet today, do it now, brown cow.)

2. Fill your attitude with helium. Life is unpredictable. One moment you feel like you are on top of the world. the next moment you feel like the world is on top of you. But a helium attitude rises anyway. Don’t let setbacks, curveballs, and negative people drag you down. Do what helium does, and just keep rising. Your attitude is everything in life. Make sure you fill it with the right fuel. (And if you ever need a good laugh, suck in some real helium and say ‘Luke, I am your Father.’)

3. Your Success Is Directly Related to Your Contribution. Success is easy to understand. If you want more, contribute more. If you want to earn more money, add more value. If you want more social capital, add more value. If you want more political capital, add more value. It is the value you bring to the world that determines what the world offers you in return, Jedi.

4. The best way to live a great life is to start at the end. By viewing your life from the end you can clearly see what you could have done and what you should have done. Do this now, while you can do something about it. And you will be able to turn your life into an epic story as big as your imagination. (And go to funerals. They will teach you more about life than death. Plus, there are always free ham sandwiches.)

5. It’s the first step that matters most. Far too many people dream about the things they want to do but never take a single step towards making it happen. Your dreams start with that first step. Take it. Make it happen. (And watch Hamilton. That dude did not throw away his shot.)

6. Let envy be your guide. Don’t get fooled into thinking envy is a deadly sin and try to squash it. Envy offers insight. Note the things you envy and truly want and add them to your life list. Then create a plan to make them yours. And get to work. (Sloth, however, is a deadly sin. Don’t mess with sloths, Sid.)

7. Nothing will happen unless you make it so. JFK said, ‘Things do not happen. They are made to happen.’ Remember that action is everything. It is the difference between dreaming and doing. If you want something to happen you have to force it and will it to happen through your vision, action, and energy. This wisdom applies to friendship, entrepreneurship, and every other ship in between.

8. Always bet on yourself. Don’t buy lottery tickets. Don’t bet on sports or horses. Instead, bet on yourself. Bet on your ideas. But on your intuition. Bet on your determination. And on your willingness to affect the outcome. Stack the odds in your favor. It is the easiest way to mitigate risk and set yourself up for an epic payout. (And add Take A Chance On Me by ABBA to your life soundtrack. It’s a real toe-tapper.)

9. Find your Sliver Mentors. Everyone will offer you advice. But only take advice from people who are already doing what you want to do be doing. And rather than have one mentor for everything it is useful to have many mentors for slivers of your life. Learn the tips and tricks of the people who behave the way you want to behave. Don’t listen to every voice in the wind. Instead, carefully curate the advice you accept from those who offer great examples. (And keep a good tweezer around for regular slivers.)

10. Ask For What You Want. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. A closed door will often open when you show just how much you want to go inside. Remember, someone holds the key to unlock every locked door. (Don’t simply take what you want. Unless you look great in an orange jumpsuit.)

11. Constantly Upgrade Your Thinking: You may have graduated, but you are not done growing. Never stop improving yourself. You are like an iPhone. You should constantly be creating better versions of yourself. Each one is smarter, stronger and more capable than the one before. (And now that you will start paying for your own phone you’ll want to put a screen shield and protective case on that thang. Because phones are freak’n expensive.)

12. Don’t Build A Network. Build Friendships. Throughout your career, people will tell you that you should network. This essentially means you should meet people who can help further your career. This is bad advice. Don’t network. Instead, befriend as many people as you can. Prioritize developing genuine relationships. When you make great friends you will have a great network. Because when you make people the most important thing in your life, everything else magically falls into place. (And keep eating Lucky Charms. They’re magically delicious.)

Key Takeaway:

Commit to a lifetime of learning and growing. Get a little better every day. Read. Think. Make friends. Find people who can teach you. And always bet on yourself. The best is yet to come. But it’s up to you to make it happen.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+If a $16 graduation gift fits into your budget, consider grabbing a copy of What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? for yourself or the graduate in your life. You’ll get 70 more important life lessons.

Reflection: 14 Things That Went Great In My 40s.

May is my favorite month of the year. May is spring, and new beginnings and good weather. May is track & field season. May brings Memorial Day weekend, which kicks off summer. Although in Wisconsin, sometimes it’s a Charlie Brown kickoff, and Lucy pulls the ball away before it ever gets a chance to fly.

May is also Birthday Month for me, my 3 sisters, my son Johann, and a couple of nieces and a nephew. This year, my birthday was no small milestone. On May 25, I turned 50. Which is significant on several levels. Mostly, because I make it significant in my head. To make the most of each decade I set major long-term goals by the decade. Today, I am excited about the possibility and promise of my 50s. Because by all accounts, my 40s were a raging success. Here’s my reflection.

14 Things That Went Great In My 40s.

  1. My Career: I started my own business when I was 42, and I spent the majority of my 40s leading the advertising and ideas agency, The Weaponry. Starting an advertising agency was my #1 goal of my 40s. Not starting a business would have been my greatest regret. The business is now well into its 8th year and growing. Check the box!
Me at The Weaponry. And a leaf like the original Adam wore.
Several Weapons

2. Travel. In my 40s I traveled all over America. I think I visited 45 states. The only state I have left to visit is Hawaii. In the past decade, I also traveled to Argentina, India and Canada. And I would have traveled to Europe if it wasn’t for that meddling pandemic! But I have a trip to London, Paris, Bern and Munich locked and loaded. So go 50s!

My trip to India was an epic part of my travel over the past decade.

3. Writing: I have now written 881 blog posts. All that writing prepared me to write my first book: What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? I started writing the book when I was 46 and published it when I was 48. I co-authored my first book with Jeff Hilimire too, titled The Culture Turnaround. There are more books planned (and mostly written) for my 50s. Plus there is a newsletter in the works…

The first time I held my paper baby.

4. Speaking: Publishing my book led to speaking opportunities. This year I am on track to earn more money from speaking than I did in the first year of my advertising career. I really enjoy speaking and sharing stories and lessons with others. On my 50th birthday, I took the day off of work to enjoy my big day, but I then volunteered to speak to students at two schools about my career. Which means I really enjoy it. Or else I just really like hanging out at Middle Schools.

My first talk of my 50s.

5. Coaching Track: I started coaching high school track and field 3 years ago. I didn’t know any more about coaching than anyone else who had participated in a sport through high school and college. I didn’t even have a clipboard, whistle or a Throw-one-for-the-Gipper speech. But 3 years in I have coached a boy discus thrower to 181 feet, the second farthest throw in Wisconsin last year, and my daughter Ava hit 130 feet as a junior. For context, 3 years into coaching, I have only seen 4 girls hit 130 feet or more in a meet, and Ava is one of them. Exciting things are ahead for my daughter-athlete next year. And both of my sons plan to throw next year too. Their training has already started.

Some of the great girls I’ve coached.

6. Coaching Football: I started coaching youth football. Again, I started knowing very little beyond my own experience as a player. Today I am the defensive coordinator for the 6th-grade team in Mequon, Wisconsin. Which will be the 7th-grade team next year. I have learned a lot and developed rewarding relationships with a fun group of boys in my son Magnus’ class. And I’m trying to help create a positive experience that the boys will remember forever. Or at least get them to break a huddle in unison.

My son Magnus is #55. You can see my knee beside his.

7. Parenting. I started my 40s with 3 children who were 7, 5, and 2 years old. Today they are 17, 16 and 12. (Because math works like that.) I am proud to say that I have a strong relationship with my 3 children. Even though they are teens or tweens, we remain very close through what I expected to be the most challenging period of our relationship. I know them well enough to know that none of them are teen-wolfs. I am highly involved in each of their lives, and I will miss them greatly when they fly from the nest in my new decade.

Me and the offspring on my 50th!

8. Marriage: I have now been married for 20 years to my wonderful wife Dawn. We are closer than ever and our marriage works well. Our communication is strong. She is my best friend. Sorry everyone else who thought they were my bestie. (You are my next-bestie.)

Me and Dawn when we were just babies. Now we are both 50+ and feeling Nifty+!

9. Fitness: I wanted to hit my 50s in great shape. One year ago I weighed 224 pounds. For context, I am 6 feet tall. And I graduated from high school at 215 pounds and from college at 211. I lift weights several times a week and am about as strong as I was at 18. Plus, I do cardio work 4 times per week. On my 50th birthday, I weighed 206 pounds. And I have a goal of doing 20 pullups at 50 years old. I haven’t attempted it yet. But I did hit 20 pullups 3 times in the past 2 weeks, so I expect it will be no problem. #dothehardworkearly.

10. Hair: I still have a full head of hair. I am not bragging. I am thankful. Or grateful, or whichever one is politically correct.

Still flowing at fifty.

11. Reading: I have read more in my 40s than in any other decade of my life. I can feel the effect of my reading. I am continuously learning and adding to my understanding and knowledge. My thinking keeps getting better. My brain feels well exercised. And I have set a new record for paper cuts. I got up on my birthday and read from 5:30 am to 6 am when it was time to write. ( I am currently reading The Greater Journey, about Americans in Paris in the 1880s by David McCullough, and listening to How Successful People Think by John C. Maxwell. I have already completed 17 books in 2023, and should finish 1 more today!

My initial reading list for the year.

12. Relationships. Through the past decade, I have lived in 3 states. And I have gained tons of new friends. I have also maintained my many friendships. I’m like a friend hoarder. Only I let people live in their own homes instead of piling them in my kitchen. I have organized social groups. I planned and hosted my 30th high school reunion. I make friendships very quickly. It is one of my greatest or favorite strengths. However, in the past 5 years, I have also had an odd falling out with one of my (formerly) closest friends, which I really don’t understand. But I accept it and have moved on. There is a lesson in that too.

Some of my favorite Marauder friends from Hanover High School in New Hampshire, 30 years later.
I’m thankful that my original family is all still here and that we remain close. Although we look a little too happy considering this was taken right after my Grandma Albrecht’s funeral. (You know we love you Grandma. And you were 99.)

13. Skillz. I added some new skills in the past decade. Entrepreneurship, blogging and authoring are the obvious ones. But also surfing, coaching, mentoring, keynoting, wake surfing and parenting teenagers to name a few. I am currently working on my French aussi. You are never too old to keep adding skills. And girls like guys with skills. Like nunchuck skills.

I learned to surf in my 40s. I even got off the sand and into real water!

14. Home During my 40s I lived in 4 different houses in Ohio, Georgia and Wisconsin. 2 years ago, after shopping for 2.5 years and not making a single offer, Dawn and I walked into our current home the first day it was on the market. We immediately knew it was the home for us and made an offer that afternoon. We have loved living in our current home. It is the first time in my adult life that I have lived somewhere that I didn’t consider temporary. Which is a great base for a great next decade.

Me and the Crew at home.

Key Takeaway

There is a difference between aging and living. Don’t confuse the two. Focus on the living and the aging won’t bother you. Life is what you make it. Setting goals for each decade helps you think long-term and act in the short term. Decade thinking gives you enough time for great accomplishments and great change. But it provides a clear and unmoveable endpoint that creates the everpresent gift of urgency. So enjoy your life. Enjoy your decade. And make the most of every day.

If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why it’s so valuable to think about who will show up for your funeral.

I am a big believer in beliefs. I like a good framework to guide my actions and behaviors. And as I wrap up the last few weeks of my 40s, I have been planning for a great new decade ahead. Heck, AARP has already invited me to the party.

I am wiser than I have ever been. The important things in life keep getting clearer. That’s why I approach my next decade with a new funeral mindset.

In this mindset, I regularly imagine the sanctuary where my bon voyage service will be held. No sound. So commentary. Just the attendance.

I am focused on who and how many people will show up. And who will shake the pews for me. (I come from a family of pew shakers who laugh silently at everything we find funny in church.)

I have always been concerned that I wouldn’t have many people show up for my last shindig. It’s a healthy concern about what happens if you do the wrong things in life. When I was in college Jeffrey Dahmer’s funeral was at my church in Madison, Wisconsin. I planned to go because I thought that would have been an interesting life experience. And it would have been. But I had a class at that time and decided not to skip it. I read in the paper that only 26 people attended the service. I expect most of them were there to confirm he was really dead. And to finish the job if he wasn’t.

Dahmer did bad things that left him with a lonely funeral.

I want to live each day in the opposite way. Which means collecting as many friends as possible. Maintaining and strengthening my relationships with my friends, and family. Conducting business in a fair and honorable way. And having a strong positive impact on my communities. I want to have a positive impact on people in both my innermost circle and my outermost rings of influence. And I want to remember not to eat anyone.

I want to be known as a listener. And as someone who shows up to help. I want to be known as a friend. I want to be enjoyable to be around. I want to share my time and knowledge with other people to have a positive impact on their lives. If I do all those things, at the end of it all, I hope people will dress up and come shake a pew with me for an hour. But just to be safe, I’m going to insist on serving delicious ham sandwiches afterward. And maybe free beer.

Key Takeaway

Always keep your funeral attendance in mind. Live in a way that will pack that house with those you have positively impacted. Put effort and care into your relationships. Build bridges. Mend fences. Share your gifts and lessons. Create great memories. And set a strong example for others to follow. Be a positive force in your communities. And the community will show up to confirm your contribution.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Here are the 3 types of opportunities available to you now.

Opportunities are the seeds of success. Just as the acorn becomes an oak, opportunities can transform into happiness, wealth, fulfillment, or success. And like little pigs, musketeers, and Charlie’s Angels, they come in 3 types:

  1. The opportunities that find you.
  2. The opportunities that you find.
  3. The opportunities that you create.

The first kind falls in your lap. The second kind you catch. The third kind you make.

If you wait around for the first type, you may wait forever, like an airline customer service representative.

The second type you need to look for. And you better be ready to compete for it when you find it. Kind of like parade candy. Or the t-shirt shot out of a cannon at a sporting event that isn’t even your size.

The third type will have no competition. Because without you it doesn’t exist. Like your next business, book or baby. This includes connections, creations, innovations and organizations of all types. Basically anything with a tion in it. Because the suffix tion turns a verb into a noun. Just like opportunities empower you to make things with your actions.

Key Takeaway

Keep your eyes open to find opportunities. But more importantly, keep your mind open to create your own. Because those are the most valuable and available variety of all.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.