Life isn’t easy. How could it be? You live on a planet with 8 billion people who are always getting in your way. Throw in gravity, the laws of physics and the constraints of time and space, and life on Earth becomes a gigantic obstacle course. It’s like Wipeout. Only everyone has to carry a coffee and a mobile phone.
But the obstacles are what make your adventure interesting. A video game is an intriguing challenge specifically because of the elements added to prevent you from reaching your goals. Your real life works the same way. Only here in the real world, when you die, you really die. Which means that we are all starring in our own horizontal version of Free Solo.
But don’t curse your challenges. They are a gift. The resistance makes the story. That injury you face is there for you to overcome and make your triumph even sweeter. The bad boss, the job you lost, the pitch you didn’t win, and the thing that broke are all setbacks that set you up for a great comeback.
It’s hard to look forward to adversity. We prefer smooth sailing. But when you reflect on your human experience, it’s easy to see that adversity creates advantages. The resistance builds strength. And friction summons resolve. Those are gifts that stay with you forever. Like luggage.
Key Takeaway
Resistance is a gift. It makes you stronger. More resourceful. More capable. And more confident. Right now, you are becoming a stronger machine. And your story keeps getting better.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
On Thursday morning I met my great friend Roland ‘Rocky’ Larochelle for breakfast. We hadn’t seen each other for more than a year. When I arrived at the Starbucks he met me by the front door and we heartily greeted each other. It was a great start to the morning. Like Tony The Tiger Great.
Roland had already ordered, so I walked to the counter and ordered a breakfast sandwich and grabbed a chocolate milk from the cooler. Because chocolate milk is my jam. Then I made my way to the small round table where Roland was sitting with his vente coffee. As I sat down, excited to catch up on the past year with an old friend, Roland moved his coffee to the side of the table to make room for me. This is typically an uneventful act. But that morning, the act was most definitely eventful.
In the process of moving his tall and freshly full coffee, the cup tripped and tipped. In an instant, the entire drink splashed onto the table and then poured onto the floor.
The aftermath. It looks like the coffee spilled in the shape of Pangea.
That’s Just Life
These types of mishaps happen all the time. Things are constantly going wrong in both our professional and personal lives. How you respond to such events determines the tone of your life.
You can allow such incidents to make you angry, bitter, deflated or depressed. Or, you can recognize that these setbacks are an expected and unavoidable element of life. You take the hit and roll with it. Like Tina Turner. (That was supposed to be a reference to Proud Mary, not Ike.)
The filter you use to interpret your setbacks determines whether you are floored by them or strengthened.
The Response
For a brief moment after the spill, there was no response. It was like that moment after you see a flash of lightning before you hear the inevitable thunder. You know it’s coming. But you don’t know how soon it will hit. And you don’t know if it will rumble or crack.
Then it hit.
Roland and I both erupted in laughter. It was the best possible response. We recognized that our 20-year friendship had just added another funny story. A new layer. An event to talk about.
Roland is clearly a great guy to spill coffee with.
There is no use crying over spilled coffee. Even $7 coffee. So we moved our things to the next table and began the clean-up. We grabbed napkins and notified the barista-janitor behind the counter of the caffeinetastrophe that had just occurred at table #9.
Within 2 minutes there were no signs of the spill on the table or the floor. Just as the final drops were being mopped another Barista in her superhero apron appeared at our table and presented Roland with a replacement coffee that she had made without us even asking. Thanks, SuperBarsista! You saved the day!
Key Takeaway
Setbacks happen. Everywhere, all the time. It’s not your bad luck. It is life. And physics. Those things are constantly spilling your drinks, breaking your things, blocking your progress, and stealing your time. Just roll with it. These are the basic challenges in the game of life. Keep playing. It makes the whole adventure of life more interesting. It makes you stronger and more capable for the next challenge. And all those setbacks transform into stories. And sooner or later you realize that a good life is just a collection of good stories.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
Happy New Year! That is what we say to people in January. But Januarys aren’t supposed to be happy. Not even if you are a Gilmore. Or Pharell Williams.
In November you should feel thankful. In December you should feel Joy. (Comfort & Joy…) But in January, if you are doing things right, you should feel uncomfortable.
January is meant to be a time for change. It is a time for new goals, resolutions, and habit alteration. (Even if you are not a fashionable nun.)
If you are introducing new habits, new thinking and new actions don’t expect to feel happy right now. Expect to feel uncomfortable. And the more comfortable you are with feeling uncomfortable now, the happier you will be later.
Feeling uncomfortable now is a sign that you are trying something new. You are changing your routine. You are creating a new habit. You are experimenting.
You feel uncomfortable when you take new risks. It is a sign of growth. And learning. This is how you push your own envelope. This is how you discover better approaches.
This is January stuff. This is New Year stuff. This is how you get to the new You.
Key Takeaway
A great year of growth and improvement begins with changes in January. Feeling uncomfortable right now is a great sign. Getting uncomfortable now is how you break through to a new level of comfort later. Keep going. It gets better. And so will you.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
Happy New Year! Now that 2023 is in the proverbial books I have taken a moment to reflect. And I like what I see. 2023 may have been my best year ever. I don’t know if you can truly rank order your years. But I also don’t know if Georgia can have a fiddle-off between Johnny and the Devil, but according to Charlie Daniels, they did. And Johnny won. So here’s the supporting evidence from my 2023.
Why 2023 was my best year ever.
I was healthy. No flu. No Covid. No broken parts. I got my first colonoscopy this year and they were amazed by what they saw. (Or didn’t see.) I was told to come back in 10 years. I also found that the prep work didn’t bother me. Which is a win. (Get yourself checked. It could save your life.)
2.I feel fit. I feel strong. And not just for being 50 years old. My good physical habits have been compounding. My body weight is under my high school graduation weight. And I think I would still be a valuable asset on a hay rack, bucket brigade, or trust fall.
3. My Happy Marriage. I celebrated my 21st wedding anniversary with my wonderful wife Dawn. She’s my best friend and I love her like crazy. A happy marriage makes you feel like you are winning at life. Which is a great consolation when the Patriots have a terrible year.
4.My Business Had A Record Year:The Weaponry, the advertising and idea agency I lead, recorded its best year ever in 2023. And we celebrated 7 years in business. I love my work. I am part of an amazing team. And we have really great clients. Plus I never have to wear a tie or a name badge.
5. Speaking Engagements: I had my biggest year of speaking engagements in 2023. I traveled all over the country sharing positive messages of self-improvement. Plus people paid me and bought copies of my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? And I met amazing new people. It was almost too good to be true. But I have pictures to prove it really happened.
6. Travel: I had a huge year of travel. My family and I went to London, Paris, Switzerland, Munich, Chicago, Boston, New Hampshire, Vermont, Indiana, Kentucky, Ohio, Tennesee, South Carolina, North Carolina, Georgia and Alabama. For work, I added California, Florida, Texas, Colorado, Utah, Cape Cod, and Minnesota. For someone who loves to travel this year’s adventures were like a buffet of Buddy Elf’s 4 food groups.
7.Guys Weekend: I also traveled to Puerto Rico with my high school friends Matt Prince, James Colligan and Dan Richards to celebrate our 50th year. The trip was epic. In fact, this trip alone could have made 2023 the best year ever. Ask me about this in person if you want a great story. (And let me know if I still have mud in my teeth from the off-roading we did.)
8.Dudes Dinners: I do a regular thing called Dudes Dinner with a crew of impressive guys in Mequon, Wisconsin. It’s great quality guy time with food, laughs, great stories, togetherness, and book recommendations. All dudes should have a group of dudes like these dudes.
9. Track Season: My daughter Ava had a great track season in the spring of 2023. She throws the discus and had 6 first-place finishes, 2 second-places, and 1 third-place finish. She is now 2 feet off her school’s 44-year-old discus record, with her senior season coming up this spring. She has made huge improvements in technique and strength in the off-season. Did I mention that I am her coach? So I get both Dad-joy and Coach-joy out of her success.
10.Football Season: I also coach my son Magnus’s football team. We had our best season ever in 2023. After winning 1 game in 5th grade and 2 games in 6th grade, this year the 7th graders went 5-3. Magnus had about 25 tackles for losses, a blocked punt, a blocked kick and a safety. (Did I mention I am the defensive coordinator?) On offense, he scored a 72-yard touchdown. So I got the same kind of double Dad-joy/Coach-joy I enjoyed during the track season. The bonds that these boys create with each other through football are amazing. And the father-son bond is like Kragle.
11. Music Success: My son Johann is a talented musician. In the spring he won the Wisconsin State Federation Piano Competition. He also takes saxophone lessons from a very talented professor at UW Milwaukee. Our home is always full of Johann’s beautiful music. I often can’t tell whether the music in my house is the stereo or the sonny-o.
12.I read 41 books: I set a goal of reading 24 books this year and blew past it. I read a lot of books in 2023 that made me feel smarter and more insightful, like the Scarecrow at the end of The Wizard of Oz when he finally gets a brain.
13. My Home: 2 years ago we moved into our new home in Mequon. It’s the first home I have lived in as an adult that I didn’t consider temporary. We have been remodeling the attic above the garage into a guest suite and upgrading the workout room in the basement into an amazing home gym. Both projects are almost complete. In another month I may go J.D. Salinger-style and never leave my home again.
14.My Baby Sister’s Wedding: My youngest sister Donielle got married in December, which was amazing on many levels. It brought my whole family together for the first time in several years. We were all back home in New England for the first time since 1996. The wedding was fun and full of family and friends. Plus, the day before the wedding I had a very special lunch at Simon Pearce in Quechee, Vermont with my parents and my 3 sisters, just like when we were growing up, except nobody spewed milk out of the nose. It was wonderful and hilarious. Thanks to this wedding, my family now feels complete. Or at least until the next generation starts doubling up and multiplying.
15.UW Track & Field Reunion: I got to see a lot of my college track teammates in October in Madison, Wisconsin. Many of them I hadn’t seen in 5, 10, or 20 years. Seeing your people in real life is always better than just connecting on Zoom, text, and social media. (Unless your people don’t shower or use deodorant.)
16. Life and Death: I had several close family friends pass away in 2023. While they were each very sad, they also made me value my life, health, and family even more.
Key Takeaway
You make great years through your actions, your good decisions and your relationships. You make great years through your hard work and your reputation. To make 2024 your best year yet, create great habits. Make time for friends and family. Plan adventures large and small. Read great books. And remember that life is short. So do the important things now.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
Tonight is the big night! It’s New Year’s Eve! Like the Lexus December to Remember, it’s time to put a big red bow on 2023. Or, if your 2023 was a lemon, it’s time to put on some Del Amitri and kiss this thing goodbye. Either way, this is the biggest party night of the year. Because we always save the best for last. Or do we always start off with a bang? (I always forget.)
New Year. New You.
With the new year comes new expectations. We set goals and resolutions for the next 366 days. It’s exciting to think that, like a new iPhone or Fast & Furious release, the new and improved version of ourselves will hit the shelves tomorrow!
Most of us think our lives, habits and body fat will all get better, starting tomorrow morning. But there is one simple thing you can do tonight, on New Year’s Eve, to give yourself the best possible start to a great 2024.
Don’t stay up until midnight.
Go to bed at a reasonable hour tonight. Going to sleep early on New Year’s Eve is a wonderfully rebellious move that sets you up for success in the new year. I have gone to bed before midnight on New Year’s Eve for the past several years. And I love it.
No Bonus Points
You don’t get any credit, in either the old year or the new, for staying up to witness the clock tick to midnight. There will be very little productive work that happens between 10pm and midnight. If you haven’t made your goals in the first 364 days and 22 hours, you’re not likely to achieve them in the last 120 minutes.
The simple fact is that you don’t get a jumpstart on your goals, hopes, dreams or resolutions by staying up past midnight tonight. You get tired. And maybe you’ll start the new year with a hangover. Neither of which you really want.
The Downside To Staying Up Late
If you stay up until midnight tonight, one of 2 things will happen:
You won’t get an early start tomorrow morning. Getting an early start to your day is the best way to be productive. So if you are motivated to achieve more in the year ahead, get up early and get going.
You won’t get a good night’s sleep. Let’s say that you stayed up late, but also get up early tomorrow. That means that you are not fully recharged, fully energized, and ready to make January 1st an outstanding start to the new year. If you are serious about making positive changes, you should seriously get serious about creating good sleep habits, starting tonight.
Let’s get it started
Aim for getting a good 7 or 8 hours of sleep tonight. As we all know, the end is determined by how we begin. One great step leads to another. And one great day leads to another. Remember, the longer you wait to get into a new, positive habit, the less likely it is to happen.
Key Takeaway
Consider being a rebel tonight and turning in early. Get a great night’s sleep. Start 2024 early, well-rested, recharged and re-energized. It’s the best way to start your best year yet. Have a fun and safe New Year’s Eve!
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
Last Wednesday I woke up at 5:00 am. I quickly got ready and hurried to the airport in Milwaukee to catch a 7 a.m. flight to Atlanta. Then I was supposed to catch a flight to Boston where I was to meet up with coworkers and clients for a 2-hour van ride west to Northampton, Massachusettes. We were coordinating our flights into Boston so that we could get out of the city before rush hour hit like Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker.
However, when I arrived at the airport in Milwaukee I got a notification on my phone that my flight was delayed. At first, this felt like good news. I was running a little behind schedule, and the delay ensured I wouldn’t miss my flight.
On Delay. On Delay.
Then the flight was delayed again. And because of some Milwaukee-style winter weather in early November, we would also have to de-ice the plane. At 8 a.m. they announced that we were delayed until 9 a.m., with an expected arrival into ATL at noon. Which meant I would miss my connection. Which, unlike Chuck Woolery, I did not love.
That’s my flight at the top of the board delayed because of a mechanical issue. I called Mike and the Mechanics. They said all I need is a miracle.
A quick check of my Delta app showed that the next 4 flights from Atlanta to Boston were sold out. So there was no telling when or if I would make it to Boston. Oy.
Beantown Plan B.
However, I also found a direct flight to Boston that left Milwaukee at 1:15 p.m. So I rebooked myself onto the direct flight, left the airport, and headed to my office at The Weaponry in downtown Milwaukee to work for the morning.
The delay meant that I would miss the van driving our team to Northampton. Instead, I would have to rent a car and drive for 2 hours by myself. Here comes the plot twist.
I realized I didn’t have to rent a car. I was able to rent a car. And this created some new possibilities.
Fire Up The Friend Detector.
One of my favorite things is to carve out time from my business trips to see friends. So I shuffled through my mental Rolodex wondering who I could see on the turnpike from Stockbridge to Boston, besides James Taylor.
This is the Milwaukee shoreline of Lake Michigan. It’s beautiful. Unsalted and shark-free.
Jeremy ‘J.D.’ Durand
At 11:50 a.m. I sent my friend Jeremy Durand a message through Facebook Messenger, asking him where in Massachusettes he lived. I shared that I would be driving across the state that evening and would love to meet up.
Jeremy and I grew up in neighboring towns in Vermont and worked together for several summers during college setting tents for Blood’s Seafood, Catering, and Party Rentals. (And you don’t need a career in branding to know that Blood’s is not a great brand name for anything related to food.)
Touchin’ down in New England town. Feel the heat comin’ down. (Name that tune.)
Jeremy informed me that he lived in Sturbridge, Mass, which was the midpoint of my drive. He was excited to grab dinner that night. So we quickly scrambled plans and at 7 p.m. that evening, I met Jeremy at a sushi restaurant in Sturbridge called Kaizen. Near Wicked Lick ice cream. Seriously.
The food was excellent. The conversation was even better. We caught up on our careers, families, hobbies, and common friends. This was the first time we had seen each other in 27 years! And the only reason we connected was because I got some bad news about my flight. Which turned out to be great news. Because it allowed me to reconnect with an old friend.
We asked our waitress if she would take a pic for us. She said, ‘Sure! I’m wicked good at it!’ She wasn’t. So here’s our selfie instead.
Ramble On
After I left JD that night I drove to the beautiful old Hotel Northampton. Shortly after checking in, I wondered if there was anyone else I might be able to see the next day. I would be filming a commercial at sunrise. Then I had to drive 3 hours to Cape Cod where we would be filming another scene at sunset and looking for those great potato chips they have on The Cape. But again, because I had a rental car I could stop for a few minutes to see another friend.
After a little thinking, my high school friend Zena Clift came to mind. I thought she might be in the general area where I was. A quick search on Facebook revealed that she lived 15 minutes away! So I messaged Zena.
I heard back from Zena the next morning at 6 a.m. We quickly coordinated a pow-wow. So after we wrapped our stunning sunrise shot and the rest of my team hopped in the van headed for the Cape, I jumped in my red Jeep Gladiator and drove to Amherst.
I was the blue circle. Zena was the red marker that looks like Kenny’s hoodie from South Park.
Zena Clift
I met Zena at a cafe on the campus of Hampshire College where she works. We talked and caught up the way Jeremy and I did the night before. Zena and I went to high school together in Hanover, New Hampshire. We were on the track team together too. She was a great runner. But we hadn’t seen each other in 30 years. 30 years!
Me and Zena and a building directory at Hampshire College.
After taking as much time as we could carve out of our busy schedules we took some pics and said goodbye. I headed off for Cape Cod for my afternoon shoot feeling like I was winning at life.
Key Takeaway
Your personal relationships are your most valuable assets. They enrich your life in immeasurable ways. Make time to see your people in real life. Look at the delays and detours in life as opportunities to spend time with friends and family. Make time to reconnect with those you haven’t seen or heard from in decades. It’s worth the effort. And if you are ever traveling near Milwaukee, look me up. I am always up for a good pow-wow.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
It’s Halloween! Today is one of the most interesting days of the year. If aliens landed on Earth today they would have a very different impression of the place than if they landed on, say, Saint Patrick’s Day. (Note: Earthlings are all green and smell like cabbage and alcohol.)
But hidden under the clown masks and Freddy Kreuger costumes are important life lessons. As you go about your day today note these 4 tricks to success from Halloween that can benefit you any day.
Dress the part.
If you don’t wear a costume you are not likely to get candy. Remember that when you go on a job interview, a new business pitch, or a date. Portraying the right image is important. Perception is reality. At The Weaponry our dress code is simple: Dress the way you want people to see you. Also, today, make sure to really wear clothes. Halloween shouldn’t be an excuse to walk around in your underwear. (That last point is really just a note to self. You do you.)
Ask for what you want.
On Halloween, people walk up to total strangers, ask for a treat, and get it. It’s a great reminder to ask for what you want. Often it’s just that easy. Here’s more proof.
Things look scarier than they really are.
Those ghosts, goblins, and Tammy Faye Bakkers you see at Halloween may look scary on the surface. But peak a little closer and you realize that they only look scary. It’s really just the kid down the street. Or Sally from accounting. Many of the most intimidating things in life are not that scary once you actually confront them. I discovered this about entrepreneurship, writing a book, buying my own health insurance, and raising teenagers.
The more doors you knock on the more doors will open for you.
When a kid comes home with a pillowcase loaded with candy you know that they went to a lot of houses. Because the more doors you knock on the more doors open. And the more doors that open the more John Candy you get. It is true at Halloween. And it is true in sales, job hunting, fundraising, dating, and advertising. Knocking on doors creates opportunity. And opportunity turns into success.
Key Takeaway
Happy Halloween! To be successful today, remember to dress the part. Know that things look scarier than they really are. Ask for what you want. And the more doors you knock on the more doors will open for you. Also, check your candy before you eat it. And if you have any extra Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups, send them my way.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
Meanness is a poison. And not in a Bret Michaels, CiCi Deville, and Rikki Rockett kind of way.
When you are mean to another person it is like serving poison in an Alice Cooper kind of way. Drop by drop, action by action the meanness cup fills with the toxic and lethal liquid.
But in a karmic plot twist, the person who spits the venom is the one who drinks the cup.
Because when you are mean to another human, you are the one who is poisoned. (Insert Nelson from The Simpsons’ signature ‘Ha-ha!’)
Your mean words and actions create ill will and hate towards you. (Wasn’t Ill Will a Garbage Patch Kid?)
So you end up ingesting your own venom. The more venom you serve up the more you drink. And you will end up drinking every drop you spew, spray, and spit.
However…
When you spread kindness the giver and the receiver both benefit. The receiver is energized and empowered. They are lifted and loved. They are supported and strengthened. In turn, and in kindness, the receiver shares thanks, goodwill, positive feelings and kindness with the giver.
When kindness is shared, everyone drinks. Because positive energy, support, and strength overflow the cup.
Key Takeaway
When you serve up meanness and hate, you are the one who is poisoned by it. But when you are supportive and kind both the giver and the receiver drink.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
When my family and I lived in Atlanta we bought a new patio table. There were a crazy number of options to choose from for something as simple as a table. Because for a table to properly perform its job it simply has to have a flat top and reliable steadiness, so the meatballs don’t roll onto your lap.
We decided on a 5-foot round table with a lazy Susan built into the middle. (Although I like to spin the center as fast as I can, so it’s more like a crazy Susan.) It was the first round table my wife Dawn and I ever bought. And it was the best furniture decision we ever made. In fact, we love that round table so much that we recently replaced our kitchen table with a new round stone-top table. (Perfect for serving stone-top stuffing.)
I have a family of five. And the round table is ideal for our family. We gather around the table and it feels like a huddle. Like a true meeting of equals. There is no head of the table. No bad or lesser seat. Eye contact is easy. And conversation flows most naturally around and across a round table. That’s why they are preferred by knights.
Key Takeaway
Remember the power of the round table. There are no lesser seats. You sit next to, or across from everyone. It is great for families. It is perfect for social gatherings. And it is a powerful setting for professional meetings. Because the round table offers a microcosm of equality and inclusion, by placing everyone on equal seating.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
Do you know how to start a fire? Can you use the materials around you to build a useful fire to keep you warm or cook your food? I’m not talking about a Tom Hanks Castaway fire. You can use a match, a Zippo or a lantern and Mrs. O’Leary’s cow if you like. Even Billy Joel knows how to start that kind of fire.
Social fire.
Starting a relationship works just like starting a fire. You first create a little spark. Typically with a question or a comment to another person. Where are you from? Which kid is yours? Do you have any Grey Poupon? Or, you got your chocolate in my peanut butter.
That little spark is all you need to start a small social fire. From there, the valuable skill is to add more fuel to the fire. Ask bigger and deeper questions. This is like adding bigger sticks and logs to the fire. They provide more fuel. More heat. More light. Through this process of feeding the flames with your questions, comments, and conversation, you create your relationships. (My Grampy also used diesel fuel, and sometimes car tires to create his fires. Which today would be a good way to start a relationship with the EPA.)
The fire analogy is also useful because if you stop asking questions, stop reaching out, stop getting together, stop texting, calling, or DMing, the fire goes out. This holds true for personal, professional, romantic, and familial relationships. Zzzppp.
How Are Your Fires?
Are you maintaining your fires? Are you tending to and adding to your relationships? Or didn’t you realize you needed to?
It is okay to let some fires die. It’s fair to stop feeding social fires that require too much work to maintain. Especially when they don’t provide enough heat. And when you can’t find more sticks to throw on the fading embers. In that case, let it go, Elsa.
Spend your time feeding the fires that provide great light. The fires that are warm and nice to sit by. Feed the social fires when others are feeding them too. Keep those flames dancing to the end.
Key Takeaway
Relationships are like fires. They need a spark to start. Then they need a regular influx of fuel to burn warm and bright. Recognize which social fires are hard to maintain, and give them less fuel. Or let them go out. Feed the best fires. The ones that kick off the most heat, the best light and the least smoke. Fuel the fires that are the most enjoyable to sit next to. Those are the greatest inventions in human history. Just ask any caveman.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
Adam Albrecht Blog 