We all make mistakes. Here’s how to make the most of them.

I recently had a talk with someone who had made a mistake. They didn’t break any rules or laws. The mistake was more of a personal accountability issue. It was like a failure on a mental fortitude challenge. The kind of mistake that won’t get you in trouble with the law, but it could get you voted off an island.

After discussing the mistake I shared 2 simple lessons with this person. Because there are lessons in everything. Kind of like high fructose corn syrup.

The 2 lessons:

  1. Know how The Ideal You would handle this type of situation. The Ideal You provides a north star for navigating all decisions.
  2. Allow this experience to help your self-confidence, not hurt it. This is the key difference between a learning and a losing situation.

When you identify a mistake and can quickly learn and adjust from it, the mistake is a win. A positive. A way to quickly get better. You fail fast, learn, and improve. It’s a basic success formula for startups and sitcoms with teenage casts.

When you make a mistake don’t continue to beat yourself up over it. Because then you deal with both the mistake and the loss of self-confidence. Which is a lose-lose proposition.

Mistake identification and correction should always lead to both growth and an increase in confidence. After all, you have just learned how to avoid the same mistake in the future. You are better equipped. You have more experience. And more knowledge. All of which should make you feel more confident. Like Demi Lovato. Or like you used Sure deodorant.

Pay careful attention to your mental trajectory when you leave a mistake. If you are still pointing down, you are mistaking wrong. You have already made your error. You have learned your lesson. You already know what to do better next time. So point your attitude arrow up and to the right. It is time for growth and improvement. Time to rise and shine.

Key Takeaway

When you make a mistake learn from it. Let the learning add to your confidence. Emerge from a mistake better and more prepared for whatever comes your way next. Give yourself permission to be an amateur at everything. Then just keep getting better with every mistake you make.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why it is so important to understand your dark side.

You are a good person. I know this, even if we have never met. Most people are good. I am willing to bet you are reasonable, friendly, and tolerant. At least most of the time. And I am fairly confident that you are not currently in prison. Because the restricted internet access that comes with that type of residence would probably prevent you from reading this blog post.

But even good people have a dark side. A side of them they would prefer never showed up. A side that is not patient or kind. Not logical or understanding. Kinda like that side of Michael Jackson that showed up in the Thriller video. And at the Neverland Ranch.

It’s not good to deny that you have that dark side. It’s best to understand it. It’s especially good to know what triggers it. Or what conditions make it favorable for your dark side to appear. Just as the full moon triggers the werewolf and pain triggers the Incredible Hulk, you should know your triggers.

Generally speaking, I handle stress well. I handle a heavy workload well. I handle little sleep well. And I think I would even handle falling down a well well. But there is one condition I always need to be aware of.

Hunger makes me vulnerable to a bad mood. I definitely get hangry and I know it. My wife knows it. My family knows it. So I am careful to eat regularly. I make sure to have food around, ready to save me from becoming a Hangry Hangry Hippo.

Make sure you know what brings out your dark side. Acknowledge it. Accept it. And take steps to prevent it. And when you can’t prevent it, do what you can to minimize your interactions with others until conditions have changed.

Key Takeaway

We all have a dark side. The key is to understand it. Know what triggers it or makes you vulnerable to it. Know how to minimize it. And how to reduce your exposure to others when your dark side conditions arise.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to tap into the great value of a room full of strangers.

A couple of months ago I had a meeting with a board of directors. When I entered the room a dozen people were already there. After I greeted the host who invited me, she cheerfully turned to the room and asked, ‘Does everyone here know Adam?’ This is a question I hear often at my witness protection program meetings.

But I had studied who was going to be in the room. I always prepare for such meetings. From my prep work, I knew that I wouldn’t know anyone but my greeter.

And I loved that.

In that meeting, I was introduced to 12 new people in the town I live in. (Which is kinda like being the defendant in a jury trial.) I met leaders. People who were involved. Successful people. Board members. Good people to know. And suddenly 12 unknowns became known to me. My life improved as a result.

While some people dislike going places where they don’t know anyone, it is among my favorite things. Right behind being in a room where I know half the people. Like at my friend Molly’s recent birthday party.

Molly and I have a lot of friends in common. But she also knows a lot of people I don’t know. Because, as Digable Planet said, she’s cool like that. The great thing about a room half full of friends is that the familiars introduce you to the unfamiliars. By the end of the evening, I had met 14 new people. (Well they weren’t really new people. I could tell they have been people for a while. But they were new to me.)

It all adds up.

Meeting 14 new people at a party or 12 new people in a business meeting is a greater reward than it appears. Because when you meet someone new you are suddenly just a degree away from their friends, families, coworkers, and business associates. Which always leads to an interesting yet unpredictable way of improving your life.

If you conservatively assume that everyone knows 500 people, when you meet 10 new people, you are now a single degree of separation from 5,000 new people. This increases opportunities for new and better friendships, partnerships, introductions and recommendations. You never know when and how those associations may prove valuable. But experience has taught me that the value always appears.

Key Takeaway

Most great opportunities come from humans. The more humans you are connected to, the more opportunities you will enjoy. That’s why a room full of strangers is a room full of value. Take the initiative to make as many new friends as you can. They are among the most valuable assets you will ever collect.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

My exciting new opportunity with one of the country’s hottest new brands.

A few weeks ago I was watching an interesting video reel on Instagram. It was a clip from the Pat McAfee Show, featuring a conversation between host Pat McAfee and former NFL linebacker and Green Bay Packer great, A.J. Hawk. The former NFL stars were not discussing football. They were talking about a bar. And not one made of chocolate. Or soap.

The bar in question is called PINS. And to call it a bar is an understatement. It’s really a massive entertainment space. Yes, it features large and well-stocked bars. But it’s also loaded with fun activities, including duckpin bowling, and high-end pinball games. Hence the name PINS. (I don’t get to drop the word hence nearly enough.)

Pretty cool, huh?

Pins also offers bocce ball, ping pong, giant Jenga, life-sized beer pong, foosball, arcade games a slide, ring toss thingies, and fire pits. In other words, it’s more like a party than a bar. Or maybe it’s half bar, half party. Like a Barty.

McAfee was not just discussing the bar, he was raving about it. He described the atmosphere at the PINS in Indianapolis as electrifying! He said it was amazing! And he said it was huuuu. (I assume he was saying it was huge, but someone cut him off. But maybe he was saying it was Hugh. As in Hefner. Which would be an innovative new-school /old-school complement in one.)

A lot of ball action here. But check out that ceiling art!

Hawk replied that indeed, he knew all about PINS. In fact, his son had his birthday party at PINS in Dublin, Ohio. (Because PINS is entertainment for all ages until little kids’ bedtime.) Hawk also shared that the guy who created PINS was from Columbus Ohio, where Hawk lives.

The rest of the crew on the show chimed in with more praise and accolades for PINS, and McAfee concluded the segment by saying, ‘Thank you Columbus. And thank you to That Guy!’

I was excited to see the segment and hear these great testimonials about such a popular new brand. Not just because I love great new brands. And not just because I love Columbus, Ohio where I lived for 7 years. But because of my exciting new opportunity.

PINS has 9 locations across the Midwest and South, with 6 more locations planned. Including locations in Atlanta and Austin, slated to open this year.

Let’s Talk!

PINS CEO and Founder Troy ‘That Guy’ Allen and Director of Engagement Erin Frum, contacted me to ask if I would speak at their annual meeting. Well, more accurately, Erin invited me to speak. Troy just told me I was going to be speaking as if I had no decision in the matter. Which was just as well, because being involved with a hot company like Rise Brands is a no-brainer. (Or what I call a scarecrow decision)

Pins, whose full name is Pins Mechanical Co., is owned by a great brand creation company called Rise Brands. Their claim is ‘We create kick-ass brands.’ Indeed they do. To date, Rise Brands has created 4 great brands including Pins Mechanical Co., 16-Bit Arcade (an old-school arcade game bar), Weenie Wonder (think Chipotle for hot dogs, not Magic Mike), and No Soliciting, a members-only club. (Which is another good reason not to be dismembered.)

Me and That Guy, Troy Allen and some serious blinds.

The meeting and my keynote are next Monday in Columbus. I am thrilled to share some learnings and lessons from my book What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? to help the team become even greater. Thanks for the invite Troy and Erin. And thanks to Pat and AJ for making this opportunity feel even cooler than it already did.

I’m ready for you Rise Brands! See you Monday!

Key Takeaway

Keep adding value. People love great people, places, and things that enhance and enrich their lives.

+If you are looking for a speaker for your next event you can reach me at adam@theweaponry. Although I probably don’t have any more speaking availability until July.

The best way for you to read more is to think smaller.

Reading is great for you. It is like exercise for your brain. At the beginning of the year, people often make a commitment to read more. The percentage of people who want to read more is even higher among people who are inclined to read a blog post about reading more. And while I am no mind reader, I’m guessing you are among them.

We are now in the first week of April. And a check of my book log (which resembles a book a lot more than a log) reveals that I have completed 11 new books in 2023. At this pace, I will complete 40 new books this year. (Which means I am at least moderately proficient in both reading and math.)

At the beginning of the year, I set out to read 24 books. My literary diet is made up of 12 physical books and 12 audiobooks in 12 months. Or one of each every month. And I have done a good job of keeping pace.

But Wait. There’s More!

I have discovered a fun new way to pack at least one extra book into each month. In addition to my full-sized book each month of between 200 and 350 pages I am also adding a great shorter book. These short books range between 80 and 150 pages. While I use the term ‘short book’, the books are usually of average height. So I should probably call them thin books. But I won’t.

I have found there are a lot of great shorter books. They are quick reads packed with a lot of wisdom. And because of their length, they offer more enjoyment than work. I think of them as my monthly dessert books. Yet without the calories. Or chocolate sauce.

If you want to start reading, or read more and faster, look into adding great short books to your bookshelf, or audio queue.

Here are a few short books in my collection:

Key Takeaway

Short books are enjoyable to read. They make you feel productive. Fill a shelf at home with them and you will find yourself revisiting them frequently.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my 290-page book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The easiest way to help good things happen.

Last week I was at an independent bookstore on vacation in Seaside, Florida. I love a good independent bookstore and try to support them whenever I can. Lord knows they need all the help they can get. Because their competition is built like an Amazon.

I bought a copy of The Body by Bill Bryson. And I asked the woman at the front desk if they carried The Tiger by John Valliant. After clarifying that the book was not about Tiger Woods or Tony from Frosted Flakes, she looked it up for me. Then she let me know that it was sold out, but added that it definitely looked like a great book that they should restock quickly.

Then my wife Dawn added, ‘My husband is also an author of a great book that you should carry.’ The woman turned and smiled at me and asked, ‘Really? What is the name of your book?”

I said, ‘What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? It features 80 life lessons the universe is trying to share with you.’

The woman lit up and replied, ‘Oooh! I am going to look that up today. People on vacation love reading self-help books.’

She then asked me for my information so she could look into the book.

And just like that, I had another opportunity to expand the distribution, readership and impact of my book. It’s easier than you think. The hard part is simply initiating a conversation about the person, business, product, service, or cause you support.

People enjoy reading my book on vacation. But then again, you can enjoy anything while relaxing in warm weather surrounded by palm trees, while wearing something cute on your head.

Dawn dramatically improved the odds of the store carrying my book simply by suggesting it. During sporting events, there is a tracker of the probability that one team will win or lose the competition based on the current score and the time left to play. Imagine that same tracker offering the odds of the store carrying my book. Before Dawn mentioned my book the odds were zero. In the moments afterward, the probability increased dramatically. Whether that was 10%, 50%, or 99 Luft Balloons, I don’t know. But even a 10% chance is infinitely better than 0.

Key Takeaway

Promote the people, products, businesses and causes you believe in. Tell people about them. Share your good news and recommendations. Awareness is key. And a word-of-mouth recommendation is the most valued endorsement because it is a first-person testimonial tied to your reputation. A simple no means you move on to the next thing. No harm done. But a yes or tell-me-more changes the future. And changing the future prospects for the better is what we are all here to do.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

++ If you find yourself in Seaside, Florida stop into Sundog Books. The store is fun and smells like books and beach. And ask them if they carry What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? It’s a great book to read on vacation.

Do you know the most valuable asset you will ever accumulate?

I just got back from a spring break vacation with my family. We were in Florida for a week. The weather was in the 70s. The Gulf of Mexico was blue and beautiful. Which is why my sons tried to sneak half of the gulf home with us in a saturated Nerf football.

Vacations serve as a great reminder that there are 2 ways to create tremendous wealth. At least there are 2 ways that won’t land you in an orange jumpsuit with a lifetime supply of gruel.

The first way we create wealth is through our careers. The money we earn, save and invest through our hard work creates both wealth and financial freedom. Which is good. Keep doing this.

The second way that we create wealth is through the accumulation of good memories. These memories are the result of our life experiences and enjoyable interactions with others.

While having money is good, it is mostly good because you can invest it in creating more memories. And memories compound in value every time you revisit them. You profit from them each time you reminisce, like Mary J. Blige. You profit from them each time you look at your photographs, like Nickleback, Ed Sheeran, or Def Leppard. And you profit each time you talk about your fun, funny or heartwarming stories with your friends and family. Do this as often as you can.

Key Takeaway

Your memories are the most valuable possessions you will ever own. Invest in creating more of them. Collect as many as you can. Spend time thinking and talking about your memories and you will become wealthier and wealthier in the most important way. The older you get the less you will be able to use the money you have saved. But your memories will rise in value all the way to the end. Because your collection of memories is your life. Never forget that.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How positive and negative thinking end up in very different places.

As I drove south for spring break I kept noticing signs that I was entering different watersheds. A watershed is an interesting geographical designation. It means that a drop of rain that falls in that area will flow into a specific river, sea or other body of water. And while it is poetic to think about the flow of that pure drop of rain, the forces of a watershed work just as well on a spilled can of Mountain Dew or that 40-ouncer you poured out for your homie.

Attitude Flow

The same dynamics that govern water in a watershed also apply to your thoughts and attitude.

Negative thoughts land in a negative watershed where they will collect with other negative thoughts. They create a river of negativity that will naturally flow into a sea of negativity. And in that sea, everything sinks. No one wants to go there. Yet almost everyone ends up there at some point. Kinda like a funeral home. Or the Newark airport.

Conversely, your positive thoughts land in a positive watershed and will naturally flow into a river and ultimately a sea of positivity. That Sea of Positity provides boundless buoyancy. It is where everyone wants to be. And the cost of admission is simply a positive attitude.

Key Takeaway

Your attitude determines your thoughts. Your thoughts determine your future. This flow of thoughts into watersheds is a universal law as reliable as gravity. So choose your attitude carefully. Because it will dictate your destination.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why I don’t believe the lesson I was taught in driver’s education.

When I was 16 years old I enrolled in a driver’s education course so I could get my driver’s license, my freedom and my own pair of fuzzy dice to hang from the rearview mirror.

I took the class over the summer so it wouldn’t interfere with the spring track season or the fall football season. Both of which were far more important to me than the fuzzy dice.

My great friends Greg Rozycki and Marcus Chioffi were also in the class, which made it hilarious. I still remember us trying to control ourselves when the instructor said that to make a left turn at a green light you should nose into the intersection and perch like a beaver.

Enrolling in that class paid dividends for years to come. Not just in the lessons I learned, but in real money too. In fact, the owner mailed me a check years later when I was in college when it was determined that he had overcharged students and was forced to offer a refund many years later. Ouch.

But there is one lesson from that course that sticks with me today. In one class a police officer came in to talk to us about the dangers of speeding. He said that speeding doesn’t really get you there faster. Because ultimately stoplights and traffic, even things out. And even when you speed you end up getting to your destination about the same time you would have if you just drove the speed limit.

Decades later as I reflect on this lesson I realize it was total garbage. I appreciate the sentiment, the theory, and the fact that they were trying to slow us down. After all, they had to reprogram what we learned watching The Dukes Of Hazard and Smokey & The Bandit. #yeehaw!

But the Everyone-will-get-there-about-the-same-time-anyway Theory is a lie.

In driving, and everywhere else in life, pace matters. I don’t advocate speeding on the road. And I limit myself to 8 or 9 MPH over the posted speed. Most of the time. But I know that the faster you go the quicker you will reach your goal. It works in cars. It works in career advancement, self-improvement, and wealth accumulation.

If you want to separate yourself from the crowd pick up the pace. The world rewards those who put in the extra work. You have to be ahead of the average to get noticed. And that doesn’t happen unless you move quicker.

Key Takeaway

Move faster. You have a lot to accomplish. And if you don’t pick up the pace you won’t get it all in. Separate yourself from the pack by moving faster than they do. Work harder. Work smarter. That’s what the elite in every field do. Compare yourself to them. Even if you don’t become the best of the best, you will become a whole lot better than the masses. And the rewards will be substantially better.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Before people will pay you money they need to know you exist.

Radar was first invented in the early 1900s. Depending on how you look at it, radar was either invented by German Christian Hülsmeyer, British Robert Watson-Watt, or American Radar O’Reilly.

Radar is a very useful technology in war and navigation. It alerts you that someone or something is within a determined radius of you. It makes you aware of things you weren’t aware of before. Including things that you can’t see with your naked eye. Or any other naked parts for that matter.

This concept is very useful to humans in other arenas too.

If you have a business that needs to develop new customers, having potential customers on your radar is important. But it’s critical for your business to be on your potential customer’s radar. Because, in the words of NSYNC, if you are not on their radar they can’t buy, buy, buy from you.

That is why marketing exists. You first need to ping on your customer’s radar before you can make a sale. Because if they are looking for products, services or experiences that you offer, but they don’t notice you, you both lose out. (Insert Game Show losing sound effect here.)

To be found, you have to send regular signals. That signal that you are sending should be loud and detectable by your most important audience. You do this both through placement (being where others can find you) and promotion (through messages you share with the world).

Once your products or your messages are discoverable, you will begin to ping on your most important customers’ radars. That is the goal. That’s where it all starts.

Key Takeaway

Great things happen as a result of awareness. Make sure you are taking steps to be discovered. Show up. Send messages. That’s how you get noticed. And once you are noticed, the possibilities are endless.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.