Tag: friendship

The Power Of Client Friends: Maximizing Your Professional Relationships.

I use a term I never hear anyone else use.

It’s not gazoinkers. Or tootsnickers. Or zwerp. All of which I use as well.

The term I use regularly that others don’t is client friend.

Even Grammarly tells me this is not a thing.

Oh, Grammarly, but it is a thing.

The term client friend is an important addition to my vocabulary, necessary to accurately describe many of the important people in my life.

Client Friend helps me express the duality of my relationship with many of my clients.

The Origin

Early in my career, I realized that I was not accurately representing my relationship with a large swath of people in my orbit by simply referring to them as clients. That was way too transactional, or distant, or businessy.

For me, the client relationship is simply the introductory vehicle to many of my favorite friendships. And the workplace is just the meetup venue for our friending actions.

So for the dictionary entry I propose the following:

Client Friend. /klient frend/ nouny. A friend whom you originally met as a client.

For comparative context, some people have drinking friends or fishing buddies. Other people have friends who they play softball with, or poker, or fantasy football. I have even heard of knitting circle friends. And hunting wives.

I have friends who I do commerce with.

We meet up and talk about their business. We talk about branding, and marketing and advertising. We talk about sales and products and services. We talk about innovation and customer experience, and off-menu creative ideas to enhance their brand image. We talk about competitive pressures, and trends and threats. (Oh My!)

And we love it!

We nerd out on all these things. Because we are gazoinkeers for business, marketing, advertising and creative problem solving.

We also share stories about the fun travel we’ve done together. And film and photo shoots in interesting places. And the great meals we have shared. And all the hilarity that happened along the way. Zwerp!

But we also talk about our families, vacations, hobbies and pets.

I freaking love making new friends. I go gazoinkers for adding new people to my world. Because my clients and I have so much in common, we typically become friends quickly, both because of the work, and beyond the work.

When I began seriously thinking about starting my own advertising and ideas agency back in 2015, a couple of my client friends called me to encourage me to do it. Then I called more client friends to talk about it. I met other client friends at restaurants and talked with them for hours about it. And when I first launched The Weaponry, my very first client was actually my friend, Dan Richards, whom I have known since we were in 7th grade in Hanover, New Hampshire.

Looking back, I can clearly see that it was my client friends who enabled me to start The Weaponry. And it has been client friends who have sustained us for the past 9 years.

We spend something like 100% of our time at work. Which makes the workplace a great place to develop and maintain friendships and deepen relationships with the people you work with. Take advantage of this rich field for meaningful social interactions. (Did I mention I also met my wife, Dawn, at work? I did. And she’s amazing!)

At the end of your career, you won’t care about the awards you won nearly as much as you will value the client friends you won and the work-related relationships you developed. Those client friends are just as good as any other form of friendship. Maybe even better. Because you have so much history and so much to talk about in retirement.

Not everyone has client friends. Instead, you may have customer friends. Or member friends. Or partner friends. Or collaborator friends. Or vendor friends. Or Joey, Chandler, Ross, Monica, Phoebe and Rachel. Collect them all. Enjoy them all. The universe put them in your world so that you can develop a human relationship. We are not just here for business transactions. We are here to engage meaningfully with each other for the greater good of all.

Key Takeaway

Make more client friends. And customer friends. And co-worker friends. And people-you-interact-with-because- of-work friends. Working with your friends makes life more enjoyable. And friending with the people you work with is the ultimate relationship hack. More and better friends lead to a better life. So make friends everywhere you can. Especially at work. And if you want to work with people who want to be your friend, shoot me a text or call me at 614-256-2850, or email me at adam@theweponry.com. I always have room for more friends.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

Let your experiences and adventures change you.

This year, I have had a tall flapjack stack of fun and interesting experiences outside of work.

  • I traveled to Nashville in May to visit colleges and enjoy some live music at the Grand Ole Opry. (Although I still have no idea what an opry is.)
  • I spent our family’s spring break in Arizona, splitting time between Scottsdale and Sedona. (I didn’t have time for standing on the corner in Winslow.)
  • I completed a circle tour of Lake Michigan, seeing many things that are not that far away by the way the crow flys or the salmon swims, but quite far away by the way the car drives.
  • I coached 2 great athletes at the Wisconsin State High School Track Championship on the other side of the state in La Crosse.
  • I attended a family reunion in southern Minnesota, in my mom’s hometown of Elkton, with a whole flock of reuning relatives.

How To Profit From Your Experiences

My goal, when I experience such things, is to come back different.

I don’t want these to be inert experiences.

You want the special experiences of your life to have impact.

You want them to expand your view of the world.

You want them to create new or deeper relationships.

You want new learning.

You want new ideas.

You want to grow through each one of your novel experiences and be better as a result. (Your novel experiences don’t have to include a novel.)

You want to be a different and more capable version of yourself after the experience than you were before. (And you want to maintain all of your limbs and phalanges.)

When you aim to grow, expand and improve through your experiences, you will always find your path to accomplish your aim.

You will spot things you have never seen before.

You will recognize the learning, the lessons and the insights when they arrive.

You will grab the opportunity to meet new people you encounter. And you will find that each new person you meet will change you in some way. Sometimes these changes are large and profound. Other times, they are small and seemingly insignificant. But if you genuinely try to get to know people in a greater way, you will walk away a greater person.

Key Takeaway

Throughout your human experience, always look for ways to grow. Collect and connect dots. Add new humans to your world. Expand your circle of friends. Upgrade your world view. Come back from your experiences and adventures smarter, wiser and more informed. It helps generate excitement and curiosity every time you leave home. And it brings you back better, wiser and more creative than you were when you left.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

The Power of 5 Minutes: Creating Big Impact In Small Moments.

Two weeks ago, my daughter Ava and I traveled an hour and a half to attend a Wisconsin high school sectional track meet in Neenah, Wisconsin. (Which is near Pinta and Santa Maria, Wisconsin.)

The meet was the last stop before the state championship meet. I coach 2 athletes who were competing that day in the shot put and discus. Both throwers, Terron ‘And On’ McCall and Luka ‘Ivanarock’ Ivancevic, finished in the top 3 of both events and qualified for the state meet last weekend in La Crosse. Which makes this story a prequel to the post I shared earlier this week about the state meet.

However, just before the shot put was set to start, after all of the throwers were fully warmed, hyped and ready to rock, a thunderstorm rolled in, like a Garth Brooks song, and forced a 1.5-hour delay in the competition. Boo.

This was double boo for me, because I had to leave the meet at 6pm, no matter where we were in the competition. It was my son Johann’s 18th birthday. And we had a family dinner celebration back in Milwaukee.

Terron and Luka, after taking 1st and 2nd in the shot put and second and third in the discus. They qualified for the state meet in both events. Fun Fact: behind Luka’s head, you can see part of the sign for Neenah’s school mascot: The Hot Pockets. Their school song is simply the Hot Pockets jingle.

When it was clear that I would miss the boys’ shot put competition, my daughter Ava and I left the shelter of the shiny new Neenah High School and headed for the parking lot to jump in our Expedition and hurry home from our northern expedition.

However, between the school and the parking lot, I spotted two familiar faces. One belonged to my college track teammate Scott Hammer. Hammer coaches at West Bend West High School, which is in our conference. So I see him regularly throughout the spring. His son Carson is a great 800-meter runner and qualified for the state meet in the 4 X 800-meter relay.

The other familiar face belonged to Josh White, another college track teammate, and one of my roommates for 3 years of college.

My University of Wisconsin track & field teammates Scott ‘Hammer’ Hammer and Josh ‘Slosh’ White. (In college, everyone had a nickname. Hammer’s was pretty obvious.)

It had been a few years since Josh and I had seen each other. Following huge smiles and hugs we quickly caught up. We said funny things to make each other laugh. We have a lot of funny history. I shared that Ava would be living just a block from our old off-campus house in Madison next year.

We then told Ava a story about the night we threw our first college house party, and how the cops showed up at our door at 4am, telling us there had been noise complaints.

But the noise complaints were not related to the party, which was long over, and very underagey. The loud noise was my roommates and I singing loudly, and repeatedly as we tried to leave the perfect answering machine message on our house answering machine. It’s fun to be around someone with whom you have so much shared history. It’s also fun to spend time with someone who remembers answering machines.

But of course, our time was short. Ava and I had a birthday dinner to get to. As we said our goodbyes, Josh said, ‘It was so good to see you. Even just 5 minutes together was awesome.’

We had to hurry back to Milwaukee for dinner and fun with Johann, the newest adult Albrecht!

As we pulled out of the parking lot and pointed the car south on I-41 towards Brew City, I kept thinking about what Josh said. ‘Even just 5 minutes together was awesome.’

He was right. And I am so thankful he said it. I asked Ava if she remembered what Josh had said before we left. She remembered it word for word, just as I had. We both reflected on the power of that statement.

Reminder

You don’t need a lot of time to catch up. You don’t need a lot of time to have a positive impact on someone. Or to make progress on a challenge, or to make something important happen. 5 minutes well spent can create magic.

In 5 minutes you can:

  • Catch up with an old friend
  • Make a new friend
  • Have a career-altering interaction
  • Make Minute Rice
  • Discover the key to unlocking a problem
  • Connect important dots
  • Make a big decision
  • Learn an important lesson
  • Have an aha moment (And write Take On Me.)
  • Start a flywheel spinning
  • Have a breakthrough
  • Say your are sorry
  • Tell someone you miss them
  • Ask for that thing you really want and get it.
  • Do that simple thing you have been putting off for too long
  • Get medical lab work done
  • Schedule your checkup
  • Call for help
  • Listen to 5 Minutes of Funk by Whodini

Key Takeaway

It only takes 5 minutes to do something that has a major impact on your life, career, or the lives of others. Meaningful reconnections, introductions, breakthroughs, discoveries and actions can happen in a flash. Never underestimate the power of these short blocks of time. Life and success are not built on hour-long blocks. They are built in meaningful moments. Take advantage of those small opportunities, and they can positively impact the rest of your life in big ways.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

A good sign of a good time.

On Saturday, January 4th, I attended a dinner party at a restaurant in downtown Milwaukee.

I had a really good time with some really good friends.

I know I had a really good time because, around midnight, the valet sought me out in the private room I was in in the back of the restaurant to hand me my keys. I was standing in a circle of the last of the party-goers who weren’t even done with the night. Like John Cougar said before he got mellencamped.

Apparently, I had stayed at the party so long that the valet was turning into a parking pumpkin, and wanted to go home. So he had parked my car just outside the front door, found me in the restaurant, handed me the keys and walked away. Not only was he not looking for a tip, he didn’t even charge me for the valet parking. Which meant that I had enjoyed myself so much that I actually saved money in the process.

Reflection

It can be hard to know whether or not you are being generally successful in life. Not everything is easily scored. But in my scorebook, if the valet comes to find you at a party because he wants to go home and play Grand Theft Auto, and you still want to stay and hangout with your wife and your 4 other friends who aren’t ready to leave, it is a good sign, that at least for the night, you are winning at life. (Also according to my scorebook, if those friends will answer to Pablo or Bert, even though those are not their real names, you score bonus points.)

Key Takeaway

To live a great life, spend more time with people you want to stay up late with. Go to events you don’t want to leave. We have a finite amount of time on this planet. Make it count.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

It’s amazing what you can discover when you start asking a stranger questions.

On Thursday afternoon, I was on a plane. I was flying from Detroit Rock City to Columbus. My seatmate was a friendly woman. And like that scene from Kenny Rogers’ The Gambler, we began to speak. (Although, unlike in The Gambler, no one bummed a cigarette, drank down my last swallow, or croaked.)

My goal with the conversation was to see how quickly we could go from perfect strangers like Larry Appleton and Balki Bartokomous to pals, like Forrest and Bubba.

When I meet someone new I am always Curious George’n to know who or what we have in common. So, I broke out my set of proven questions designed to discover where our Venn diagrams overlapped. The only question was how many questions it would take to get to the Tootsie Roll Center.

The conversation went like this:

Me: What’s your name? Answer: Emily. (So we did not have a name in common.)

Me: Where do you live? Emily: Granville, Ohio.

Me: Where did you grow up? Emily: Centerville, Ohio

Me What did you do after Centerville? Emily: I went to college at Ohio Wesleyan University.

Me: Cool! I had two sisters who went to OWU! They were there between 1994 and 2000.

Emily: Interesting! I was there during that time…

Me: My sisters were both on the track and field team at OWU.

Emily: I had a friend who was on the track and field team at OWU. Her name was Donielle Albrecht.

Me: Donielle Albrecht is my baby sister.

Emily: I lived with Donielle in Paris!!!

Me: OMG!

Emily In Paris (Which is how I locked her name in my memory bank): I have traveled all over the country with Donielle! And I know your sister Alison too!

Emily in Paris is also known as Emily Hughes Smith. She’s a Realtor with Remax in Columbus. But she also worked in advertising for several years. We knew many people and agencies in common. And we both have sons who are juniors in high school. Which made for a fun and interesting conversation on our relatively short hop across the contentious Michigan-Ohio border.

However, I am disappointed that during our blitz-Venning session we didn’t discover another important connection. This morning, as I visited LinkedIn and Facebook to prep for this Emily In Paris’ story, I discovered that I know Emily’s husband! Kirk Richard Smith is a Creative Director and great photographer. We have known each other for years.

Key Takeaway

Get to know the people around you. Discover your commonalities. Connect over your shared people, places and interests. It is one of my favorite things to do. Because it quickly turns strangers into friends. It grows and strengthens your friend network. It reveals that there is always a little bit of magic around us. We just need to look for it. And that’s an ace that you can keep.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The 3 types of affluence that lead to happiness.

There is almost nothing more enviable than affluence.

The two inventors of the dictionary, Meaning Miriam and Definition Webster, decided that affluence means an abundant flow or supply.

And when you have an abundant supply of good things your life tends to be good. Unless the things you have in abundance are news coverage and bottles of lube.

Affluence most certainly leads to happiness. But not in the way that most people think.

Here’s how it works:

The Affluence Formula

1. First develop your relationship affluence. The more and better friends the better. This is the greatest investment you will ever make. (Unless you bought Apple at its IPO.)

    2. Relationship affluence leads to financial affluence. Your relationships increase your opportunities, knowledge, support, encouragement and positive peer pressure. It’s not just about a small group of great friends like Monica and Chandler. Your outer ring of relationships is sneaky valuable as you can read here in the study The Strength of Weak Ties.

    3. Financial affluence leads to time affluence. The more financial resources you have the more control you have over your time. This is the greatest freedom in the world.

    4. Time affluence leads to happiness affluence. When you have control over your time you have control over your life. That Janet Jackson-level control enables you to spend your time doing the things you enjoy most with the people you enjoy most.

    Plot Twist!

    The great happiness in life will come from your abundance of relationships and time. Not from the money itself. Never forget that.

    Key Takeaway

    More and better relationships lead to more and better opportunities. Opportunities create financial resources. And financial resources give you control over your time. Which is the greatest affluence of all.

    *If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

    +For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

    Why it’s smart to think about your relationships like fires.

    Do you know how to start a fire? Can you use the materials around you to build a useful fire to keep you warm or cook your food? I’m not talking about a Tom Hanks Castaway fire. You can use a match, a Zippo or a lantern and Mrs. O’Leary’s cow if you like. Even Billy Joel knows how to start that kind of fire.

    Social fire.

    Starting a relationship works just like starting a fire. You first create a little spark. Typically with a question or a comment to another person. Where are you from? Which kid is yours? Do you have any Grey Poupon? Or, you got your chocolate in my peanut butter.

    That little spark is all you need to start a small social fire. From there, the valuable skill is to add more fuel to the fire. Ask bigger and deeper questions. This is like adding bigger sticks and logs to the fire. They provide more fuel. More heat. More light. Through this process of feeding the flames with your questions, comments, and conversation, you create your relationships. (My Grampy also used diesel fuel, and sometimes car tires to create his fires. Which today would be a good way to start a relationship with the EPA.)

    The fire analogy is also useful because if you stop asking questions, stop reaching out, stop getting together, stop texting, calling, or DMing, the fire goes out. This holds true for personal, professional, romantic, and familial relationships. Zzzppp.

    How Are Your Fires?

    Are you maintaining your fires? Are you tending to and adding to your relationships? Or didn’t you realize you needed to?

    It is okay to let some fires die. It’s fair to stop feeding social fires that require too much work to maintain. Especially when they don’t provide enough heat. And when you can’t find more sticks to throw on the fading embers. In that case, let it go, Elsa.

    Spend your time feeding the fires that provide great light. The fires that are warm and nice to sit by. Feed the social fires when others are feeding them too. Keep those flames dancing to the end.

    Key Takeaway

    Relationships are like fires. They need a spark to start. Then they need a regular influx of fuel to burn warm and bright. Recognize which social fires are hard to maintain, and give them less fuel. Or let them go out. Feed the best fires. The ones that kick off the most heat, the best light and the least smoke. Fuel the fires that are the most enjoyable to sit next to. Those are the greatest inventions in human history. Just ask any caveman.

    *If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

    +For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

    How to tap into the great value of a room full of strangers.

    A couple of months ago I had a meeting with a board of directors. When I entered the room a dozen people were already there. After I greeted the host who invited me, she cheerfully turned to the room and asked, ‘Does everyone here know Adam?’ This is a question I hear often at my witness protection program meetings.

    But I had studied who was going to be in the room. I always prepare for such meetings. From my prep work, I knew that I wouldn’t know anyone but my greeter.

    And I loved that.

    In that meeting, I was introduced to 12 new people in the town I live in. (Which is kinda like being the defendant in a jury trial.) I met leaders. People who were involved. Successful people. Board members. Good people to know. And suddenly 12 unknowns became known to me. My life improved as a result.

    While some people dislike going places where they don’t know anyone, it is among my favorite things. Right behind being in a room where I know half the people. Like at my friend Molly’s recent birthday party.

    Molly and I have a lot of friends in common. But she also knows a lot of people I don’t know. Because, as Digable Planet said, she’s cool like that. The great thing about a room half full of friends is that the familiars introduce you to the unfamiliars. By the end of the evening, I had met 14 new people. (Well they weren’t really new people. I could tell they have been people for a while. But they were new to me.)

    It all adds up.

    Meeting 14 new people at a party or 12 new people in a business meeting is a greater reward than it appears. Because when you meet someone new you are suddenly just a degree away from their friends, families, coworkers, and business associates. Which always leads to an interesting yet unpredictable way of improving your life.

    If you conservatively assume that everyone knows 500 people, when you meet 10 new people, you are now a single degree of separation from 5,000 new people. This increases opportunities for new and better friendships, partnerships, introductions and recommendations. You never know when and how those associations may prove valuable. But experience has taught me that the value always appears.

    Key Takeaway

    Most great opportunities come from humans. The more humans you are connected to, the more opportunities you will enjoy. That’s why a room full of strangers is a room full of value. Take the initiative to make as many new friends as you can. They are among the most valuable assets you will ever collect.

    *If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

    +For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

    Do you know the most valuable asset you will ever accumulate?

    I just got back from a spring break vacation with my family. We were in Florida for a week. The weather was in the 70s. The Gulf of Mexico was blue and beautiful. Which is why my sons tried to sneak half of the gulf home with us in a saturated Nerf football.

    Vacations serve as a great reminder that there are 2 ways to create tremendous wealth. At least there are 2 ways that won’t land you in an orange jumpsuit with a lifetime supply of gruel.

    The first way we create wealth is through our careers. The money we earn, save and invest through our hard work creates both wealth and financial freedom. Which is good. Keep doing this.

    The second way that we create wealth is through the accumulation of good memories. These memories are the result of our life experiences and enjoyable interactions with others.

    While having money is good, it is mostly good because you can invest it in creating more memories. And memories compound in value every time you revisit them. You profit from them each time you reminisce, like Mary J. Blige. You profit from them each time you look at your photographs, like Nickleback, Ed Sheeran, or Def Leppard. And you profit each time you talk about your fun, funny or heartwarming stories with your friends and family. Do this as often as you can.

    Key Takeaway

    Your memories are the most valuable possessions you will ever own. Invest in creating more of them. Collect as many as you can. Spend time thinking and talking about your memories and you will become wealthier and wealthier in the most important way. The older you get the less you will be able to use the money you have saved. But your memories will rise in value all the way to the end. Because your collection of memories is your life. Never forget that.

    *If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

    +For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

    Why you should tell your people that they deserve better.

    We always want the best for the people in our lives. But our people don’t always find the best. We’ve all seen friends or family members in less-than-ideal situations. It’s hard to watch. It’s even harder to bite your tongue and not say anything to them. (Or bite your thumbs if you are the texting type.)

    Sometimes the less-than situation is a bad job that makes them miserable. Or at a minimum, it doesn’t enable them to utilize their full talents. Other times we see our people in bad relationships. It could be a romantic relationship that isn’t so romantic. Or peers who are putting the wrong kind of pressure on your person. Or any number of lesser situations that bring your peeps down rather than raise them up, like a good Josh Groban song.

    What Would Scooby Do?

    When you recognize that your people are in situations that are bringing them down, bring it up to them. Let them know how great and capable and worthy they are of more. Encourage them to find the right job, the right people, or the right situation for them.

    Your people will know you are right. And they will want better for themselves too. But when you hear someone who cares about you tell you that you deserve more it carries more weight. And more urgency.

    If you can help your person stack one more stone on the right side of the scale, you can help them tip their next decision in favor of a better future. Which means you have done your job as a valuable supporter. (Even if you’re not an athletic supporter.)

    My Reminder

    Last night I saw a good friend of mine at a school event. He is successful, well-liked, and well-respected. But a few years ago he found himself in a position where he wasn’t fully appreciated for his talents, vision and work ethic. His greatness had earned him a major opportunity. But the organization wasn’t worthy of my friend. I could see that he was wasting his time in what seemed like a great role. But it really wasn’t. And I told him so. Last night, he told me that my words to him encouraged him to make a change. Today he is in a job that is just as big, but way better, and far more supportive. Like Spanx.

    Key Takeaway

    Tell your people in lesser situations that they deserve better. They know it. Let them know you know it too. Show them you care. Add to their confidence. Give them the push they need. At a minimum, they will know how much you care for them. At a maximum, you will help change their life.

    *If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

    +For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.