So you know it’s not the cash register code for a sandwich at Arby’s.
Or a pennant and banner industry term for rainbow flag.
RBF refers to Resting Bitch Face.
It is a default facial expression that makes a person appear unfriendly.
It makes people think you are irritated, annoyed or angry. Even when resting.
And it appears in both women and men. (See Kanye.)
RBF makes people think you are unapproachable
It may be unfair. It may be the furthest thing from the truth.
But if you have RBF, it makes a negative first impression. And it builds a personal brand that works against you.
It sends a message to the people around you that you don’t want to talk.
And Jack White can tell that we aren’t gonna be friends.
Unfortunately, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. (Head and Shoulder’s taught me that.)
But there is another default facial expression that gets far less attention.
And it is far more valuable.
RFF
People with RFF have a friendly default countenance.
It may be a smile.
Or a warmth.
Or kindness.
They look like they would be happy to talk to you.
People with RFF look like they want to be your friend.
Resting Friend Face.
I am talking to this guy in a room full of strangers.
When I was a kid, I lived in 5 different states by the time I started 7th grade. So I learned how to make friends in a room full of strangers. And it always starts by looking for the person with the resting friend face.
Remember when you used to play Red Rover when you were a kid? You would look for the weakest link in the lineup.
Making friends works kinda like that. Only it feels less Lord of The Flies-y
I would ask her for directions.
When you walk into a room full of strangers, you look for someone with RFF as the best person to approach.
They are the person least likely to give you the cold shoulder. And most likely to be interested in having a conversation.
At networking events, people with RFF are approached first.
At a dance, someone with RFF gets invited onto the dance floor first.
At a bar, the person with RFF gets approached. (So be careful if you don’t want to be approached in a bar.)
In business, when the person with RFF walks into a pitch or a sales call, they are immediately likable.
Humans are programed to discern friend from foe.
We do this unconsciously.
Automatically.
It’s coded into our historic software.
That’s why RFF offers an unfair advantage in relationship development.
This guy gets it.
So train yourself to develop your Resting Friend Face.
Smile.
Or Smize.
Train yourself to default to a friendly pose.
Put a pleasant look on your face. It doesn’t have to be toothy.
Uncross your arms.
Put your phone away.
And look like a friend other people would like to have.
Practice in front of a mirror.
Film yourself to find what looks friendly on camera.
See what others see.
That’s a pro RFF!
By developing a RFF you will increase the potential for developing more friendships.
You will develop a better social and professional network.
People will choose to talk to you in a room full of other options. Which will make you feel like Sally Field at the `1985 Academy Awards.
You will be the person others will approach at a trade show, job fair, conference or seminar.
It’s how you get people to approach your booth, table or tent.
You will be the person others will choose to sit next to at a dinner party full of strangers.
And ultimately, you will benefit from attracting more good people into your life.
Key Takeaway
Develop your Resting Friend Face. Practice looking friendly and approachable as a default. You will stand out in a crowd. It will help you grow your brand, your network and the number of great opportunities that come your way.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
A few months ago, something coo-coo happened with my default search browser on my laptop. This is not something I would typically write about. (Or read about.) But stay with me. There is a valuable lesson at the end of this techno-rainbow.
Instead of defaulting to Google for search, suddenly my computer was defaulting to Yahoo’s search engine, as if it were 1995.
For months, I would type a search into the search bar and it would take me to Yahoo’s results page, which, unlike a Snickers, was not very satisfying.
So I began to simply type Google into the search bar, then click on Google, and then perform my search once I had arrived at the Googler.
This was inefficient. And a waste of time. (But you already knew that.)
So one day I went to Google, and googled how to make Google your default search engine.
I got the answer immediately.
Because Google is good like that.
The process of changing my search engine took about 20 seconds.
And every day since then I have enjoyed a highly efficient search process.
The Bigger Lesson
The experience served as a reminder that we all have unnecessary inefficiencies that are slowing us down, wasting our time, and negatively impacting our productivity or our quality of life.
Recognize those inefficiencies and eliminate the time-wasting workarounds. Look for opportunities to improve your processes to save you time, energy and money over the long haul.
This may include improving your processes. It may include training others to do tasks so that you don’t have to. It may include fixing a broken or worn-out thing you have been working around. It may involve cleaning or organizing so that you can easily find the things you need when you need them. Which is kind of like Google in the physical world.
Key Takeaway
There are unnecessary inefficiencies in your world right now. Addressing them will take a little bit of time now, but save you a lot of time later. Seek out ways to improve your professional and personal productivity by improving your processes, training others, fixing, and organizing. It will eliminate your time-stealing workarounds. And decrease the friction in your work and in your life.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
Like many avid self-improvers, I’m trying to grow into the best version of myself. This means adherence to healthy and productive habits. Which is hard. Because there are a lot of fun things on this planet that are unhealthy and counterproductive. Like sweet tea and turtle sundaes.
But I have found that if you gamify your life, your life becomes more fun and you get better results. This doesn’t simply mean playing more games. It means turning everything into a game. Like Milton Bradley. Or compulsive gamblers.
My life games start when my alarm first goes off in the morning. And they don’t stop until I am in bed again at night. These games help me feel like I am scoring points and winning all day long. It’s an easy way to make the actions that I know I should take each day more enjoyable and rewarding.
Fill Your Day With Games
Your work is packed with opportunities to win every day. But so is your home life, your social life, your health, your wealth, and your general self-improvement activities.
Consider the following ideas to get started.
You can gamify your sleep. Get to bed by a certain time, and you win. Wake up at a pre-set time and you win. Get a set number of hours of total sleep and you win. Don’t get kicked out of bed for snoring, and you win.
You can make weight loss a competition. Or make weight maintenance a game. I track my weight every day with the Happy Scale app, which gives me the opportunity for daily, weekly, monthly, yearly and even lifetime wins. Plus, you get bonus wins when you look in the mirror. And every time you can button your pants.
You can make your good habits a game. Stacking days in a row of consistently completing your good habits at work or at home is a win. There are so many good habits worth developing and maintaining that there are hundreds of ways to win every day. Like Lotto games say. (But don’t play Lotto. Bet on yourself.)
You can turn meeting new people into a game. Gamifying people-meeting incentivizes you to expand your circle of friends and grow your network. Give yourself points for every new person you know by name. Having more friends expands your opportunities, supports your mental health, and gives you more phone-a-friend options if you are ever a contestant on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
Grow-Your-Net Worth is a game that pays you a cash prize. And increases your peace of mind. Definitely track and stack your assets. And if they hate, then let them hate and watch the money pile up.
I play the Drink-A-Glass-Of-Water-First-Thing-Every-MorningGame. And I am crushing it at this game. Proper hydration is key to great health and human performance. So play this drinking game every morning.
I gamify annual adventures with friends. Gamifying it makes scheduling our time together a priority.
I play the Start-Each-Day-With-A-Smile game. And I’m happier as a result.
I try to be the first one to apologize when I get into a quarrel with a friend or loved one. I also compete to keep the word quarrel in use, since it has been decreasing in popularity for like 500 years.
I track my time on my phone each week and try to keep it below a winning standard.
I try to get to church every Sunday during Advent and Lent to win the Advent and Lent games.
By turning the positive behaviors you want to see from yourself into a game, they become fun to-dos. You can quantify your positive actions. Through small actions, you can put points on the board every day. Which means you can always count the good things you did, even on bad days.
Key Takeaway
You win at life in small ways, every day. By gamifying the actions, habits and behaviors you value, you are giving yourself a fun and easy way to track them, and stack them. It’s a great way to make yourself feel like a winner every day. It’s builds confidence and positive self talk. And it creates a clear and easy guide that you can use to measure your life. So start gamifying your life today. You can play every day. And like the state lottery commission, you can add new games every day to keep your interest up and to encourage the behaviors you value most.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
I have been listening to a lot of Parker McCollum lately.
The country singer just released his 5th studio album, titled “Parker McCollum.” I am not sure how you decide to name your 5th album after yourself. Unless you are The Jackson 5.
One of the songs on the album is titled, “My Own Worst Enemy.”
The song is interesting. And entertaining.
But I can’t relate to it.
I realized while listening to the lyrics of the song that I am definitely NOT my own worst enemy. I have other people for that.
I am not self destructive.
I don’t talk smack to myself.
I don’t beat myself up.
I don’t have a cluster of bad habits or vices that I can’t unscrew.
Unfortunately, my relationship with myself will not inspire a classic country song. Or anything blues related.
But acknowledging that I am not my own worst enemy led to an interesting new question in my squishy gray matter.
Who am I to me?
Since the worst enemy title doesn’t fit me, I started wondering if the opposite was true.
So I asked myself:
Am I my own best friend?
I found that I could make a strong case for the affirmative.
The conversations I have with myself are supportive.
I give myself pep talks.
I encourage myself.
I remind myself of the reasons to believe in myself.
I keep a list of examples of success close at hand for regular reference.
I keep a list of examples of success in my Rolodex to call on when needed.
I start each day with an encouraging talk. Sometimes in my head. Sometimes aloud. Sometimes I can’t tell the difference.
I turn to myself in challenging situations.
I don’t suffer from imposter syndrome.
Instead, I always ask, “Why not me?”
And as much as I enjoy spending time with others, I am quite happy in my own company.
When people don’t like me, I typically consider it to be their issue, not mine.
I laugh to myself and at myself a lot. Which also feels a little loony.
I reminisce a lot with myself.
I reflect a lot on myself.
In fact, this writing is a reflection on my reflection. Which is totally metta.
When I was considering starting the advertising and ideas agency The Weaponry, I really believed I could do it. And I sent myself out to talk to people I thought would corroborate that belief.
I trust myself.
And while I know I am not perfect, I forgive myself for my shortcomings. I work on getting better every day and focus on the potential and the progress. Which is a friendly thing to do for yourself.
Key Takeaway
For better or worse, I act like my own best friend. (Which may also be a sign that no one else wanted the job.) I encourage you to strive to be your own best friend. Encourage yourself. Forgive yourself. Believe in yourself. Trust yourself. Be kind to yourself. The rest of the world will throw enough challenges your way. Don’t make your relationship with yourself another obstacle to success. Treat yourself as if you were your own BFF. It will make you happier, more confident and more resilient. And you will find there is no limit to what you can accomplish together.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
This spring, I began a Misogi Challenge. These are demanding personal challenges that push your limits in order to develop character, confidence and self-reliance. Win or lose, they create great stories that make your obituary a more interesting read.
Such challenges are meant to push your outer limits, with a high likelihood of failure. The 2 basic rules for a Misogi Challenge are that they should be really, really hard. But you are not supposed to die. I have found that there is plenty of room for suffering within those boundaries.
To bench press 300 pounds. Because it is hard. And it’s a nice round number. Especially the two zeros at the end.
To bench press 315 pounds. Because this is three 45 lb plates on each side of the bar, and it looks freaking awesome.
To bench press 335 pounds. Because this was my maximum bench press when I was an 18-year-old high school student. Today, I am 52 years old, and have a white collar job that requires practically no physical labor beyond keyboard tickling.
To live to fight another day. Because I also want to be smart and not push myself to an injury.
This past Sunday, I made my final push to complete my Misogi Bench Press Challenge. #punalwaysintended
I took on the final challenge in my home gym, with my 3 teenage mutant children Ava, Johann and Magnus as witnesses. Not only did I want them with me to spot me, but I knew that having my kids in the room watching would provide additional motivation. And I needed all I could get.
If I succeeded, I would be setting a great example of hard work, determination and personal accomplishment for my kids. If I failed, I would be showing my kids that sometimes we set lofty goals for ourselves, and we fall short. But it’s the attempt that matters. It isMan In The Arena stuff. Which is also Woman In The Arena stuff.
I started with a 10-minute warmup on my Matrix elliptical machine. Then I stretched well. I believe that my commitment to warming up and stretching before my workouts has been key to my performance, injury prevention and longevity. My body still works and feels mostly the way it should. And I still have most of my original factory parts.
So I readied myself for the goal weight of 335 pounds. This was the weight that I had been focused on for months. It would answer the question, ‘Can you be as strong at 52 years old as you were when you were a high school kid, training during the peak of your high school career?’ I was a strong 18-year-old kid. I was the state champ in the shot put. I was the New England Champion in the discus. And I never saw another kid in my high school bench 335 lbs or more.
To hit that same weight 34 years later was a daunting task. But a major win if I could do it. Because coming up just 5 lbs short of the mark would mean that I wasn’t quite as strong as I was at 18. Certainly understandable. But also a bummer to lose the competition with my 18-year-old Zubaz-wearing self.
I prowled around the room, yelling motivation to myself. I have always been my own best hype man. I worked myself into a lather in a process I call Summoning. The basic premise is that we all have some maximum physical capability. The key to acheiving the maximum physical performance is to summon as much of your capacity as you can. So I summon as much energy, focus and fury as I can. It may be a little embarrassing to see on film, but it has always driven results. So I go with it.
I had Limp Bizkit’s Rollin’ (Air Raid Vehicle)on 11 in my AirPods. This is my go-to bench press song. Something about the lyrics (Breathe In now Breathe out, Hands up now Hands down…) feels highly appropriate for bench pressing. Plus, swear words get me hyped. (Sorry, Mom.)
I lay down on the bench, gripped the bar, and twisted it until it felt just right. I counted aloud, 1…2…3! And hoisted the bar off the red Rogue rack. I lowered the fully-loaded bar down to my chest and pushed with everything I had.
And the bar began to rise off my chest.
I knew I had it.
I began to yell as I pushed the bar through the full range of motion.
My kids didn’t even get a chance to yell encouragement at me, because I was yelling at myself. And the bar was obviously moving north.
I locked out the top position, re-racked the bar, and went freaking nutz-o!
I was so hyped I just kept yelling, and celebrating. I grabbed the hands of each of my 3 kids who were spotting me. Johann, then Magnus then Ava.
Then I turned and yelled at the camera. It was a Seven-Yeah Celebration. Like Usher would do.
I was so freaking hyped!
I had set a high bar for this Misogi Challenge.
And I met it.
With all 3 of my kids as witnesses.
And 2 cameras rolling, to catch the result, win or lose.
But I knew I hadn’t hit my limit. So I decided to try one more attempt. This would be above my goal weight. So I turned to Ava, my most experienced offspring in the iron arts, and asked, ‘Should I go for 340 or 345 lbs?’
Without hesitating, she said, ‘340. You always tell me to make sure I get the lift, rather than stretching too far.’
So she served up the good advice I had been dishing out. And I took it.
Now I was playing with house money. Plus, at that point, I had happy-hype coursing through my system.
5 minutes later, with Black Sabbath’s Iron Man sawing through my AirPods, I lay down under the bar, again. I un-racked the bar, lowered it and pressed. The weight moved. My kids blasted me with encouragement. I pushed at full strength until I had locked out the weight. Then I re-racked the bar.
I was instantly flooded with my favorite feeling: MaxHap. It’s the term I use for maximum happiness. It’s my version of self-actualization. Or flow. Or euphoria. It’s the drug that Huey Lewis was seeking. And I still haven’t found a negative side effect.
Everything had gone right. I set and met a hard goal, with a high chance of failure. Then I exceeded it. Which meant that I can say definitively that I am stronger at 52 than I was at 18. And I was 6 feet tall and 215 pounds back then. And headed to the University of Wisconsin to throw for the Badgers. Yet somehow, 34 years later, I was still pushing myself. That’s some crazy train stuff, Ozzy!
But even better, I experienced this with my kids. They were all in the room where it happened. They saw me attempt something hard and succeed. They saw me working towards my goal for months. They saw me fail reps along the way, but I kept on going. They saw the focus, determination and craziness that I tapped into to rise to the occasion. They were there to encourage me. And to catch me if I failed.
That was an amazing experience.
Now I am done with this challenge. I have banked the results in my list of life experiences. It has bolstered my confidence and my belief that I can handle hard things. So I move forward, mentally stronger than I was before I started. Which is the whole point of the challenge.
Key Takeaway
Push yourself to do hard things. Stretch your limits. Test yourself. Make commitments to yourself that are hard to keep. Then keep them anyway. It will build your confidence and self-reliance. It will toughen you up. The work and the suffering and pushing past your past limits make you feel alive and ready for anything. Give yourself a Misogi Challenge. Because when the world becomes too comfortable, you need to seek out discomfort to grow and experience life more deeply. Make it a regular part of your life. It will help you live a life worth talking about. Which means that whether or not you win or lose your self-challenge, you win at life.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
Earlier this week, I took the day off from work to take my son Magnus to Six Flags for his 15th birthday. We invited Magnus’ friend Phineas along for the day of adventure. I had to go because they can’t drive. And also because I FREAKING LOVE ROLLER COASTERS! (Did I type that too loud?) In fact, if I could take a roller coaster to work, I would be living my ideal life.
I picked Magnus and Phineas up after their strength and conditioning session in Mequon, Wisconsin, at 9:30 am. We drove a giddy hour to the park, which is just north of Chicago. We chattered about all the rides we couldn’t wait to hit.
Then we arrived at the park, and crushed it!
In fact, I didn’t drop Phineas off at his home until 11:30pm. (This is the point where I warn you that if I invite you or your kids to an amusement park, we are going to stay until they kick us out.) By the time those boys got to bed, it was midnight in Mequon. And Montgomery.
But early the next morning, when I dropped Magnus off for strength and conditioning at Homestead High School, I saw Phineas bouncing across the parking lot with his large jug of water, ready to run and lift weights.
Phineas and Magnus were roller coaster riding pros.
I love what these high school freshmen did in those 24 hours.
First, they worked out hard in the morning.
Then they played all day, and practically all night long. Like Lionel Richie. They rode 11 different roller coasters that flipped, spun and dropped them until the park closed. Neither of them ever hinted at wanting to quit early. Or barfing.
They got home late.
They got to bed late.
But the next day, they woke up early and got right back to work.
That is a work hard, play hard, work hard approach to life. Wiz Khalifa-style.
The Mid-Week Coaster Crew. And my coaster hair.
Through their own actions, those boys are telling themselves that they are the kind of people who will soak up as much fun as they can. And they will still keep their commitments the next morning.
They will do hard things, even when they don’t necessarily feel like doing them.
Because to be highly successful, you do what you have committed to do, even when you don’t feel like it.
Through such actions, you tell yourself that you are resilient, determined and focused. And when you believe your positive self-talk, you stick to your commitments. And you build momentum. Like a roller coaster on that first drop.
That type of discipline will get you everything in life.
Keep up the strong work, boys.
You’re training. yourselves to be great.
My daughter Ava also joined, because roller coasters, like pickle ball, are better with 4 people.
Key Takeaway
To achieve great things, you need to take action. You need to commit to hard work. Even when you are tired. Even when you have good excuses not to. Even when you don’t feel like it. Even when you played hard the night before. But when you stick to your personal commitments, you send a powerful message to yourself. You tell yourself that you do do hard things. That you are committed, disciplined and determined. Those actions build trust in yourself. They build self-confidence. And they lead to outstanding results.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
This year, I have had a tall flapjack stack of fun and interesting experiences outside of work.
I traveled to Nashville in May to visit colleges and enjoy some live music at the Grand Ole Opry. (Although I still have no idea what an opry is.)
I spent our family’s spring break in Arizona, splitting time between Scottsdale and Sedona. (I didn’t have time for standing on the corner in Winslow.)
I completed a circle tour of Lake Michigan, seeing many things that are not that far away by the way the crow flys or the salmon swims, but quite far away by the way the car drives.
I coached 2 great athletes at the Wisconsin State High School Track Championship on the other side of the state in La Crosse.
I attended a family reunion in southern Minnesota, in my mom’s hometown of Elkton, with a whole flock of reuning relatives.
How To Profit From Your Experiences
My goal, when I experience such things, is to come back different.
I don’t want these to be inert experiences.
You want the special experiences of your life to have impact.
You want them to expand your view of the world.
You want them to create new or deeper relationships.
You want new learning.
You want new ideas.
You want to grow through each one of your novel experiences and be better as a result. (Your novel experiences don’t have to include a novel.)
You want to be a different and more capable version of yourself after the experience than you were before. (And you want to maintain all of your limbs and phalanges.)
When you aim to grow, expand and improve through your experiences, you will always find your path to accomplish your aim.
You will spot things you have never seen before.
You will recognize the learning, the lessons and the insights when they arrive.
You will grab the opportunity to meet new people you encounter. And you will find that each new person you meet will change you in some way. Sometimes these changes are large and profound. Other times, they are small and seemingly insignificant. But if you genuinely try to get to know people in a greater way, you will walk away a greater person.
Key Takeaway
Throughout your human experience, always look for ways to grow. Collect and connect dots. Add new humans to your world. Expand your circle of friends. Upgrade your world view. Come back from your experiences and adventures smarter, wiser and more informed. It helps generate excitement and curiosity every time you leave home. And it brings you back better, wiser and more creative than you were when you left.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
I composed my first email message when I was a college student. It was my second or third year of college at the University of Wisconsin. I wrote the email to my parents from the computer lab at college. Because back then, almost no students in my socio-economic subdivision owned their own computers.
I was awestruck by the idea of this new technology. It would allow me to send a written letter to my parents, but without having to find a sheet of paper or an envelope. I wouldn’t have to buy a stamp. Or lick a stamp. I wouldn’t have to find a mailbox. Or lick a mailbox. And I wouldn’t have to wait a week for them to get the letter. They would get it instantaneously! This was some kind of magic from the future. And I couldn’t wait to try it out.
But when I went to write my first high-tech email letter, something went wrong.
I quickly filled the small field provided for the message with my first sentence. Then, as I continued to type, the new words pushed the old words out of the field. It was very confusing. But, hey, this was magic mail. And I was just a regular human. So I figured I wasn’t supposed to fully understand the wizardry.
I stared at the email for a long time, trying to understand what was happening to my message. But finding no good explanation, I eventually poked the send button and sent my magic mail into the ether, hoping it would land as promised inside my parents’ home computer in the woods of Norwich, Vermont.
The next day, when I received a reply email from my parents, I realized what had gone wrong.
I wrote my entire email letter to them in the subject field.
Looking back, it is easy to laugh at that mistake. It is easy to say I was a dufus. Or a doofus. (Both of which are dictionarily acceptable.)
But I find inspiration in this story. Because it serves as a reminder that when you try new things, you will be bad at them. Or at least as bad as you will ever be.
But just because you are bad at things at first doesn’t mean you will be bad at them forever. In fact, the only way to greatness is to travel through badness and mediocrity. It’s like traveling through the wardrobe into Narnia.
My first email experience demonstrates that by trying, experimenting and exploring, you grow and expand your capabilities. You have to be willing to try new things to accomplish new things. You have to be willing to be bad to become good. You have to be willing to make mistakes to make yourself great.
I am now 9 years into leading the advertising and ideas agency, The Weaponry. And I can draw a direct connection from my willingness to try to ride a bike, to my willingness to try to write my first email, to my eagerness to try to launch a startup business. They are all plunges into the unknown. They all involved missteps, mistakes, mistypes, or mispedals.
Here’s The Recipe:
You try.
You mess up.
You learn.
You correct.
You try again.
You improve.
You try again.
You improve again.
And you just keep trying.
Forgive my braggadocio, but today, I am freaking good at writing emails. I can fill in the To, CC, and BCC fields like a boss. I can write a subject that will tell the recipient why they should want to read the email. I can craft a clear, concise, compelling and occasionally comedic message. And I write that whole message in the body section. I can add an attachment. I can change the font size. I have a standard signature that includes my name, title, office location, and website address. My email also lets people know that I wrote a book called, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? And that I publish Adam’s Good Newsletter. Which is a newsletter that I send out regularly via email. Boom!
Key Takeaway
Don’t be afraid to try something new because you think you will be bad at it. You will be bad at it. At least as bad as you will ever be. But that is the price you pay to achieve greatness. You have to humble yourself at the beginning of the process. Which helps you appreciate your growth and ultimate success. The learning journey is the life journey. So learn as much as you can. It’s how you create the most rewarding life.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them. And if you want to show off your email skillz, send me a note at adam@theweaponry.com.
I have been intrigued with Misogi Challenges since I was a teenager. Granted, back then, I didn’t know that they were called Misogi Challenges. I just called them Personal Challenges. Or Doing Hard Things. But I like the Japanese name for them better. Because it makes them sound more profound and official and less like a Hold-My-Beer stunt.
What the Miyagi is a Misogi Challenge?
A Misogi challenge is an annual event in which you take on a difficult personal challenge with a high probability of failure. You do this to push your personal limits, develop grit, resiliency, growth and confidence. It also provides good content for your social media network. Especially if your challenge is to step into a boxing ring with 57-year-old Rusted Mike Tyson.
My Misogi Challenges have included:
Trying to break the New Hampshire state record in the discus within 8 months of ACL reconstruction surgery. (That was freaking hard.)
Eating my lunch outside every weekday for an entire year. (I ate alone a lot in 2015.)
Launching a business. (That’s how I started The Weaponry)
This year, I have given myself a bench press challenge.
For context, I first benched 300 pounds when I was 17 years old, during the summer after my junior year of high school.
My senior year in high school, I benched 335 pounds while recovering from the ACL reconstruction surgery mentioned above.
At the end of college, when I was 23, I put up 423 pounds when I weighed 211 pounds. 423 is an odd number for weight lifting. But I was using heavy-duty, 1.5-pound collars to secure the weight to the bar. And at 211 pounds of body weight, I counted every pound to see if I could double my body weight.
But that was nearly 30 years ago. That was back when Mike Tyson would have destroyed a social media influencer if such a thing existed.
My 2025 Misogi Challenge includes 4 different goals.
Bench Press 300 pounds. This is a fun club to still be in 35 years after I first joined it.
Bench Press 315 pounds. Everyone who lifts weights seriously knows that this is three 45-pound plates on each side of the bar. It’s a milestone for weightlifters. And it looks great on the bar. (But not so great if it is sitting on your chest.)
Bench Press 335 pounds.I love the idea of still being as strong at 52 as I was at 18.
Living to fight another day. I don’t want to push myself in a way that compromises my tomorrow. So I am listening to my body. And if it says, ‘Back off!‘ like those Yosemite Sam mud flaps, I will back off. You have to play the long game.
The Progress
Monday night at 9:15pm, I bench 295 pounds 4 times.
The week before, when I was fresher and lifted earlier in the day, I benched 290 pounds for 5 reps.
My Monday night workout with my undersized spotter.
While these numbers are a far cry from where I was at my best, I have learned that the decades add to the degree of difficulty. I love that this challenge is pushing me to do hard things. When I was in my teens, 20s and 30s I never thought I would still be flirting with these kinds of numbers in my 50s. But then again, I also thought I would be bald.
I plan to share updates on my progress over the next month. I should attain the 300-pound goal next week. And I expect to peak by late July or August. And most importantly, I hope to live to fight another day. Because I have plenty more challenges yet to come.
It’s Your Turn
I encourage you to take on your own Misogi Challenge. They can help you accomplish great feats, like writing books, starting businesses and running marathons. They create exciting chapters of your life, which help make the story of your life more interesting. They push you to expand and redefine your personal limits. And they fan the flames of your competitive spirit.
Key Takeaway
Do hard things. Push yourself. Challenge yourself. A good Misogi Challenge, or difficult challenge by any other name, makes you feel alive. These challenge force your to keep growing. They stoke your competitiveness. They build your resilience and confidence. They help you live a more interesting life. And they help remind you that you can do hard things. Which means that when the hard things come your way, you know you can handle them. Because you’re a badass. And you choose to do hard things for fun.
*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.
Adam Albrecht Blog 