Tag: self improvement

The Value Of Constraints. My Lesson From A Rodeo Chicken.

When I was 6 years old, I went to a local rodeo with my family at the county fairgrounds. As a blooming buckaroo, I thought the horses, bulls, cowboys and clowns were the most exciting thing I had ever seen in person. All I needed to complete the perfect experience was a ten-gallon hat and a Marlboro.

Then something totally unexpected happened.

The announcer called for all of the 6-year-old boys in the stands to come on down to the ring to participate in the rodeo!

It was straight out of this little cowpoke’s dream.

So with the approval of my Dad, I galloped down the bleachers to the railing that encircled the arena. I was quickly up and over that delineation between us and them and dropped onto the sacred dirt floor. I hustled over to the gathering huddle of 6ers, like me, who were all filled to the pearl-snapped collars with anticipation.

Then the show announcer boomed over the PA system like the Wizard of Oz. He announced that they were about to release chickens in the arena, and that we would have to be quick like a fox to grab ourselves a fine feathered friend. But once we caught one, it was ours to take home!

That was crazy.

And I was crazy enough to play chicken with them.

A moment later, a gate swung open, and a dozen chickens began strutting across the arena floor. And a gaggle of lil cowboys gave chase.

Which only sped up the chickens.

A couple of the other boys grabbed a bird right away.

But not me.

I chased the birds like a chicken with its head cut off.

You could say I lacked strategy. Or focus. Or speed. Or stamina. Or all of the above. But as hard as I tried, I couldn’t catch a single one of those struttin’ egg slingers.

The basic problem I dealt with was that the arena was huge, and I was small. Those chickens had far too much room to run away from me. In every direction.

The audience in the stands enjoyed a good laugh at my plight as I tried to catch a chicken that had what felt like a dirt ocean’s worth of escape routes from my chase.

Eventually, the rodeo officials decided that the chickens and the audience had had enough fun at my expense. So one of the adults with the show grabbed a snow-white chicken and handed it to me. And with what felt more like a pet store-bought chicken than a triumphantly wrastled chicken, I headed back to my dad in the stands.

A Common Problem

Today, I see adults face a similar challenge to the one I faced at the rodeo when I was a young’n.

People often have a want, wish or dream, but they have too much latitude in how and when they will make it a reality.

Thus, the dreams and aspirations remain ever-elusive. Like those rodeo chickens.

The Solve.

To make great progress, you need demanding deadlines. Those are deadlines that are so short that they demand actions or decisions today. Tight deadlines help narrow your focus, clarify your next steps, and increase productivity. Which drives results.

Short deadlines reduce options. And they squeeze out unnecessary actions. This time-constrained focus helps you reach your end goal faster.

Key Takeaway

To accomplish more, you need more constraints. Shorten your timeline until it forces decisions and actions today. This transforms ambiguity into clarity. It creates urgency. And urgency is the universal activator. It is how you turn someday thinking into today thinking and right-now necessity. That’s how you get more done. And avoid wasting time in the arena, outfoxed by unconstrained chickens.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

When Was The Last Time You Revised Your History?

One of life’s great secrets is that you can rewrite your past to serve you better today. In fact, your past is simply a tool for you to use to empower today. Like a Sawzall. Or a squeegee  

Too often, we cling to the pain, shortcomings, or embarrassments of past events, which will do nothing to help you today. So let it go, like that girl from Frozen.

We all have successes and failures. You can build your story using either, just as The 3 Little Pigs had their choice of building materials. But if you want to protect yourself and keep the wolves at bay, choose wisely.

Your backstory and the identity it creates for you are two of your greatest assets. And as you modify and update your history, it will change both what you believe you are prepared for and what you deserve.

That crafting and re-crafting of your own history will shape your future. Because your story becomes more valuable through your own interpretation.

Nobody likes a sob story.

But they love a comeback story.

Or an ugly-duckling-transformed-into-a-beautiful-swan story.

Or an ain’t-nothing-gonna-break-my-stride story.

I have been working on a major writing project in which I set up a string of my life events that lead to what seems like a pre-destined outcome. I am using specific pieces of my history that, when linked together, create a compelling and convincing narrative. I am not fabricating anything. I am simply editing my own history to create a clear and compelling story built on real events. But I also eliminate anything that detracts from the story. Like any good writer would do. (I’m finally figuring some things out.)

Today, when I am discussing potential business deals or speaking opportunities, I share an edited version of my personal or professional story that aligns with the opportunity. The stories are always true. But they can create very different historical records of my past. I focus on sharing only my experiences that qualify me for the work in question. In fact, when discussing these projects, I could also create real stories that build a case for why I am not qualified for the same opportunities. I won’t. Because that would be stupid. But I could. And people do it all the time.

How To Create A More Valuable History

Tell yourself a great story about how your past is empowering you today. You can do this by simply dropping the bad stuff from your personal narrative. (Did you even know you could do that? You can! And you should.) #DropItLikeItsHot

You can also leverage your challenging past. Tell yourself and everyone else how you have used the tough things you have experienced to get you where you are. Or you can tell the story of how you are using your difficult past to propel you forward on your current path. Or the path you are about to embark on. (Come aboard. We’re expecting you…)

Key Takeaway

Your history exists to serve you. Not to hold you back. Magnify the positives. Minimize or drop anything that doesn’t help. Craft great stories. Apply lenses that improve the optics on events, accomplishments, experiences, and setbacks. And use your history as a springboard to set you up for even greater success tomorrow.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned, check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

When you see something good, say something good.

One of the best things you can do for others is to let them know when you see their skills and talents at work. When you see someone perform well, give great effort, or step up to take on responsibility, you’ve got to let them know.

It’s kind of like a sailor high in the crow’s nest, yelling ‘Land Ho!’ (Ho didn’t used to be a derogatory term.) And it can generate the same kind of feeling of success, accomplishment and enthusiasm.

When you call out great effort, ability, or accountability, it creates a valuable reward for the person recognized. It says, ‘I see what you are doing. It is good. It is valuable. Do more of that. ‘ Mark Twain once said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” (Which also seems to indicate that he stopped getting compliments at the end of his life.)

Your positive reinforcement can call other people’s attention to the good things you see. Which shines more sunlight on the good and helps it grow and flourish.

Humans grow towards praise. So praise people for their valued actions, and you will see more. Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” But you should also praise the change you want to see in the world. When you do, it will multiply.

Key Takeaway

When you see others doing good, call it out. Even if it’s awkward. Even if you don’t know them. (Especially if you don’t know them!) That random reward creates positive reinforcements around valued actions and behaviors. And it encourages others to develop into a greater version of themselves. So when you see something good, say something good, and the world will get more good in return.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned, check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

How to create more urgency to get more done.

One of the most powerful forces on human life is urgency.

Urgency, quite simply put, is importance that requires swift action.

But too often we take swift action on the unimportant things in our lives. Like social media, and the other things dinging and blinging on our phones.

Or we take swift action on other people’s important issues. (If you have kids or an underprepared boss, you know what I’m talk’n bout, Willis.)

However, we fail to take swift action on the things most important to our lives, our success and our most valued projects.

I bet that you have big dreams, goals and ideas that, if completed, would make a massive impact on your life.

Maybe you want to start a business, travel to amazing places, organize a fun event, get together with family or friends you haven’t seen in a long time, or create that art thingie that only you understand. Maybe you have something big you want to take on at work that would change your organization in a major, positive way.

But I am also willing to bet that you took no steps towards making that a reality yesterday. Or in the last week. Or in the last year. Or maybe ever. Like ever, ever.

The problem is that you have ideas, visions and goals, but you don’t have a motivating deadline.

Remember: It is the deadline that creates urgency.

It is the deadline that requires swift action.

But not just any old deadline will do, Buckaroo.

Most self-selected deadlines are far too far off.

Short deadlines drive action.

There is a very simple test for the effectiveness of your deadline.

Your deadline must require you to do something today to stay on pace.

If your deadline doesn’t require anything of you today, your deadline is too long, Duk Dong.

If your deadline doesn’t create a feeling of discomfort for work undone today, it is not effective.

If your deadline doesn’t influence your actions or your schedule today, there is too much slack in it.

Your deadline has to create constraint. It must create a friction that prevents you from letting important activities keep on slippin, slippin, slippin, into the future.

Key Takeaway

To force dreams, goals and great ideas to life, you need shorter deadlines. A loose deadline has no power. Create deadlines that demand action today. Tighten your deadlines to force yourself into action. The tighter the better. Unreasonable deadlines can drive remarkable results. So trade in someday for this year, this week or this afternoon. And you will discover just how much you are capable of accomplishing.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

Achieve More In 2026 By Doing Less.

By now, you have taken a Giannis Antetokounmpo-sized step into 2026. And if you are anything like me (I hope for your sake you are not), you are hoping that this year is your best year ever. But great years don’t just happen on their own. You need to force your year to be great.

That may sound hard.

But it’s not.

The indisputable law of the universe to focus on right now is The 80/20 Rule. This rule dictates that 80 percent of your results will come from 20 percent of your actions. It’s a valuable reminder to focus on the vital few activities that really matter. And to forget about the trivial many that don’t.

I am always inspired by lazy but successful people. They are not the rise and grind types. They are not workaholics. They are more like the Mayor of Lazytown. But they are also intelligent. And they get ahead by doing less. Sometimes much, much less than others. Yet, they keep rising and shining. What’s up with that, pussycat?

The key to their success is that they do the right things. They spend their time focused on the vital few activities that return 80% of the desired results.

The right things are often relationship things. They are about developing and maintaining relationships with the people who can have a major impact on your opportunities. (I leave this broad, because I don’t know what kind of opportunities you are after.) But opportunities of every sort come through connectors, endorsers, gatekeepers, and inviters.

In addition to developing the right relationships (and showering), the other 3 things that tend to have an outsized impact are:

  • Doing only the things you do best.
  • Showing up at the right places.
  • Asking for what you want.

People often spend a lot of time doing hard things that reinforce the value we put on a strong work ethic. But those efforts can divert time and attention from the little things that make the biggest difference. So in 2026, learn a lesson from the lazy successful people. Work smarter. Not harder. And get greater results by doing more of what matters most.

Key Takeaway

Boil down all the things you could be doing in January to the few things that create the greatest impact. Develop and maintain relationships with the people who can support your goals, spend the majority of your time doing the things you do best, show up to the places and events that matter most, and ask for what you want. If you get those things right, you are 80% of the way to an outstanding year.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned, check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

26 Rules For A Great 2026

As I start each year, I like to take a moment to remind myself what leads to a great year and ultimately a great life. Here are some of the most important rules I live by, in a particular order. I hope you find some value in them, too. If not, I encourage you to create your own list and share it with me. God knows I can use all the help I can get.

26 Rules For How To Have A Great 2026.

  1. Nothing works if you don’t. Success is a result of action.
  2. Your habits are your most important asset. You form your habits and then your habits form you.
  3. Add value before you try to extract value. Never forget the order of operations. Your value is directly related to your contribution.
  4. Your best energy is early in the day. Do the big stuff in the morning. But not the Double Stuf. Save that for dessert.
  5. In the end, the only thing that matters is the impact we have on each other. Put people first, and be a positive force in their lives. This is how you get people to show up at your funeral. (This and the all-you-can-eat ham sandwiches.)
  6. Don’t be a jerk. We have enough of them. People need allies and compassion. Not jerkitude.
  7. Get good sleep. Know your ideal amount of sleep and get it as often as you can. Sleep is nature’s power-up.
  8. This too shall pass. Even the really tough stuff will soon be in the rear-view mirror. Just keep swimming.
  9. Exercise is the best medicine. It’s better than an apple at keeping the doctor away. (But speaking of doctors…)
  10. See your doctor and dentist every year. Your scans, blood tests, ograms, and oscopies help find things when they are small and treatable. This can add years or even decades to your life. Do it for your loved ones.
  11. Do hard things. Nothing is better for building confidence and a repertoire of great stories.
  12. Always do what you know is right. This rule has never failed me. Listen to your inner voice. It knows what to do.
  13. When you are right, don’t act in a way that makes you have to apologize.
  14. Invest as much and as early as you can. Let compound interest work its magic, Johnson.
  15. Don’t put your hands in your pockets as you walk up or down stairs. If you trip, you’re going to need those hands to protect your face from the floor.
  16. Travel as much as you can. It provides knowledge, experience, understanding, stories and ideas that last a lifetime. When you are old and can no longer travel, you can always go back in your mind.
  17. Put a case and a screen protector on your phone. It will save you a lot of money.
  18. Burn more calories every day than you take in. That’s the simple formula to maintain a healthy weight.
  19. Don’t worry about how much milk you spill as long as you don’t lose your cow. There will be unfortunate things that cost you money. It’s ok. Just make sure to hold onto the thing that helps you make more money, honey.
  20. A happy marriage is the best thing in the world. I expect the opposite is also true. Prioritize your spouse. Even above your kids. It sets a great example for them.
  21. Reading books is like weight lifting for your brain. Read as much as you can. If you need to you can always buy a bigger hat.
  22. Don’t stick your tongue out when you are in a moving car. Because if you are in an accident, you will bite your tongue off.
  23. Think long term. Don’t try to make or save money today that will cost you money over the years to come.
  24. Take the red eye home from the West Coast. It’s like stealing time.
  25. Spend time with your people in real life. People are better in person. It’s one of the best things you can do for your happiness and well-being.
  26. Capacity is a state of mind. You will do more when you believe you can do more.
  27. (Bonus) Yesterday is the most important day. What you did yesterday enables everything you can do today.

Key Takeaway

The best way to have a great year is to put your accumulated experiences and resulting wisdom to work for you. You’re wiser than you were a year ago. Take advantage of it. Let’s have a great 2026! I hope we get to see each other in real life!

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

What Is Driving Your Decisions?

One of your greatest responsibilities is making good choices. (Just like your Mom and Dad used to say.)

Your choices are always based on your decision-making criteria, which are based on one of two drivers.

  1. Reaching a goal.
  2. Avoiding a negative.

Ever since I was in high school, I have been making decisions based on my most ambitious goals.

  • Breaking a state record
  • Going to a great college
  • Having a noteworthy career in advertising
  • Being a good husband and father
  • Starting a business
  • Creating a blog
  • Writing a book
  • Keeping my teeth in my mouth.

My goals have informed my decisions about what to eat, where I live, which flight I take home from business trips, what time I get up, how I invest my money and a thousand other things.

To live a great life, to enjoy a great career, and to craft an enviable story, make sure that you are making goal-oriented decisions.

Always choose the options that advance you towards your goals.

Pick things that propel you.

Opt for the path to fulfill your dreams.

It’s valuable to take on risks that take you towards the life, the results and the rewards you want.

Always pick the door that leads to growth and expansion.

Be wary of your decisions to avoid.

Avoiding the work.

Or the pain.

Or the sacrifice.

Or the awkward. (I always find awkward is an awkward word to spell. Wouldn’t ockword be less awkward?)

It’s far better to set your north star of purpose, goal achievement, and nonnegotiables.

Those propel, compel, expand and improve your life. They energize and enhance. They help you make your dreams a reality. And that is the hallmark of a life well lived.

Key Takeaway

A great life is built on great decisions. Once you decide what you want your life to be like, your vision should drive all your decisions. And the only things to avoid will be those things that hinder your progress towards your goals.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned, check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

How some people do so much more with their time.

We all know people who do more than everyone else.

They do the family things and the home things.

They do the friends things, the travel things, the work things, and the wild things.

And miraculously, they seem to be enjoying it all.

Like cyborgs. Or Stepford Wives.

They are creating things that interest them.

They are volunteering for causes they care about.

They are having success in their career, running their own business or leading their family.

They do the networking activities you would like to do.

They exercise.

And they get to worship, too, God bless them.

Plus, they coach or chaperone or team parent for the activities their kids do.

You wonder How do they do it all?

How are they involved in so many things? How do they fit it all in? And how do they not Chernobyl like it’s 1986?

The answer is simple.

Capacity is a state of mind.

You decide how much you can handle, how much you can take on, how much you can fit in.

You decide how much you can do with your hours, days and weeks.

When you decide you are full and overwhelmed, you stop. (Presumably in the name of love.)

People who do more believe they have a capacity to do more.

They see spaces to add things.

They find time in their schedule to make things happen.

They see opportunities that are worth their time and their energy.

And they recognize that at some point, they will run out of time, energy and opportunity.

So they go now.

The scarcity of time is precisely what drives them to see more capacity in their everyday.

Now is the time.

Now is the opportunity.

Now is the alternative to never.

Key Takeaway

If you want to fill your life with meaning, action and contribution, adjust your mindset to create capacity. Because when you want to find the time for more, you will find it. Or you will optimize, prioritize, reduce or eliminate things to make room. There is more space and time in your continuum for the things you really want to do. Find it. Enjoy it. Do more with it. And make others wonder how you do it all.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

How High School Football Helped Shape My Life And Career.

Recently, I was asked to speak to my son Magnus’s freshman football team the night before their last game of the season. Preparing for the talk offered an opportunity to go back in time and reflect on the feelings and thoughts I had at the end of my own freshman football season. But this time I had fewer pimples, my voice didn’t crack, and I had a much longer lens with which to view the whole experience. I wrote about the talk and what happened in The Power of Enthusiasm and Teamwork.

The major insight I gained was that my own reflection at the end of my freshman football experience created one of the most valuable experiences of my life. And it still benefits me today. (Or at least it benefitted me yesterday. It’s too early for today’s results to be tabulated.)

That’s me (77) making the tackle during a game my freshman year of high school. Our uniforms used to get dirty, because we played on real grass and dirt.

The Reflection On My Freshman Football Experience.

By the end of my freshman season of football at Hanover High School in Hanover, New Hampshire, I realized a few things.

First, I loved playing football.

I realized I loved the brotherhood of playing a team sport. Going into battle with a group of badass boys creates a bond. A brotherhood. An identity.

I realized we played better when we played as a team.

I realized how much practice helped. (Yes, Allen Iverson, we’re talking about practice.)

I realized that after a bad play, or a lost game, you had to learn from what you did wrong, but then put that behind you and move forward.

I learned that bringing energy to the game made a huge difference. And I run better on positive energy than negative energy.

I recognized that encouraging each other made a significant impact on our play and our relationships.

I learned that I represented my high school and my community when I wore that uniform. And I could either add to it or reduce it through my actions. (It was this 14-year-old’s first lesson in branding.)

And I realized that I needed to get stronger. There were guys who were a lot bigger and stronger than me. And while I was quick and athletic, sometimes big and strong won. And I wanted to be the bigger guy. Or at least stronger.

What Happened Next?

When my freshman football season wrapped, I was 6 feet tall and 150 pounds. The following Monday, I started lifting weights. And that simple decision, and the strong workout habit I created that year, set in motion the self-improvement journey I am still on today. (Or at least I was yesterday.)

I never got any taller. But by the start of football season my sophomore year, I weighed 170 pounds. My junior year, I weighed 190. By football season my senior year, I weighed 210 pounds. And by the time I graduated from high school, I weighed 215 pounds. I got a lot of new clothes in the process.

My first day in the weight room, I bench pressed 95 pounds. And that was really hard. But my senior year, after years of slow and steady improvement, I benched 335 pounds. It was hard to believe I was the same guy. But slow, steady actions compound in ways that are hard to imagine, unless you read the book The Tortoise And The Hare.

That’s me (78), my senior year. The weight lifting had added 60 pounds, and a lot of grip strength.

The Broader Impact.

My love for football and desire to get better didn’t just help me on the football field. The strength and conditioning that I did to get better at football helped me as a track and field athlete. (Which I chose because I was terrible at baseball.)

By my senior year, I broke 2 school records and a conference record, I was a state champion in both the shot put and the discus, I won the New England Championship in the discus twice, and I set a state record in the discus that stood for 12 years.

Discus throwing my senior year of high school.

But perhaps more importantly, I grew my personal relationships with my football teammates. We became a band of brothers. (A band with no instruments or spandex.) We went to battle together. We made it to the state semi-finals together both my junior and senior years. Both years, we came within one score of the state championship game. But that journey, even with an imperfect ending, brought us closer together. And we have great stories to share every time we are together.

Then we stood up in each other’s weddings.

And we helped each other in our careers.

When I started the advertising and ideas agency, The Weaponry, my very first client was Dan Richards, one of my football teammates from my freshman year in high school, and one of my best friends in the world. (Dan is the other guy making the tackle in the cover photo for this story.) He had also used the lessons he learned through athletics to help build an amazing business called Global Rescue, which does what the name says it does.

The relationship I developed with Dan has had a huge impact on my adult life. And it all started by being a strong, supportive, reliable teammate in football. Which made us trust each other in life and in business.

Dan Richards and I, getting muddy in Puerto Rico.

Key Takeaway

Don’t miss your great opportunities. To improve yourself. To create strong bonds and friendships. To use your drive to become better at sports or other competitions. And at life. Become a winner in your mindset first. And you will be a winner on the field and off. Use the same drive to improve in sports to win in your classwork and in your career. Bring the same relationship-building approach you bring to your team, to your family, to your friendships, coworkers, children, and spouse. And you will live a life you can be proud of, that is full of wins every day.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.

Success Is A Percentage Game.

Success is a percentage game.

The more options you create, the more success you will find.

Comedians know this.

The more jokes you come up with, the more likely you are to have really funny jokes.

To be a raging success, you write lots of jokes. Perform those jokes in front of small crowds. Keep only the ones that work. Toss the rest. Repeat.

If you want more innovation, explore more what-ifs. While it may only take 3 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, it took Thomas Edison 10,000 attempts to create a light bulb. (And it took Natalie Merchant 10,000 Maniacs to create a hit song.)

The more people you know, the more likely you are to know a person who can help you open the next door, overcome a challenge, or offer you a kidney.

To find your prince or princess, you must kiss a lot of frogs. Or frogettes.

To catch one muskie, studies show you have to cast an average of 3,000 times.

To create a bag of tricks, you need many tricks. (And a bag.)

At The Weaponry, the advertising and ideas agency I lead, one of our hallmarks is that we explore a lot of options.

We explore a wide variety of strategies.

We explore as many creative options as the time and budget allow.

Great advertising doesn’t come from crafting one great headline. And designing one look.

There are often hundreds of headlines explored when creating a single ad. And dozens, if not hundreds, of looks.

It creates a large population of options to choose from. And large populations increase the potential for greatness.

So consider many strategic options.

Consider many, many creative options.

Consider many candidates.

And life partners.

Write a lot of jokes.

Pick only the very best ones.

That’s how you do smart things that set you apart.

Key Takeaway

To be successful, you first have to be productive. Create lots of options. You will both become better and create better by doing more. So drill more holes. That’s how you find the gusher.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned, check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media. And consider subscribing to Adam’s Good Newsletter.