Category: self improvement

16 reasons why 2023 was my best year ever.

Happy New Year! Now that 2023 is in the proverbial books I have taken a moment to reflect. And I like what I see. 2023 may have been my best year ever. I don’t know if you can truly rank order your years. But I also don’t know if Georgia can have a fiddle-off between Johnny and the Devil, but according to Charlie Daniels, they did. And Johnny won. So here’s the supporting evidence from my 2023.

Why 2023 was my best year ever.

  1. I was healthy. No flu. No Covid. No broken parts. I got my first colonoscopy this year and they were amazed by what they saw. (Or didn’t see.) I was told to come back in 10 years. I also found that the prep work didn’t bother me. Which is a win. (Get yourself checked. It could save your life.)

2. I feel fit. I feel strong. And not just for being 50 years old. My good physical habits have been compounding. My body weight is under my high school graduation weight. And I think I would still be a valuable asset on a hay rack, bucket brigade, or trust fall.

3. My Happy Marriage. I celebrated my 21st wedding anniversary with my wonderful wife Dawn. She’s my best friend and I love her like crazy. A happy marriage makes you feel like you are winning at life. Which is a great consolation when the Patriots have a terrible year.

4. My Business Had A Record Year: The Weaponry, the advertising and idea agency I lead, recorded its best year ever in 2023. And we celebrated 7 years in business. I love my work. I am part of an amazing team. And we have really great clients. Plus I never have to wear a tie or a name badge.

5. Speaking Engagements: I had my biggest year of speaking engagements in 2023. I traveled all over the country sharing positive messages of self-improvement. Plus people paid me and bought copies of my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? And I met amazing new people. It was almost too good to be true. But I have pictures to prove it really happened.

6. Travel: I had a huge year of travel. My family and I went to London, Paris, Switzerland, Munich, Chicago, Boston, New Hampshire, Vermont, Indiana, Kentucky, Ohio, Tennesee, South Carolina, North Carolina, Georgia and Alabama. For work, I added California, Florida, Texas, Colorado, Utah, Cape Cod, and Minnesota. For someone who loves to travel this year’s adventures were like a buffet of Buddy Elf’s 4 food groups.

7. Guys Weekend: I also traveled to Puerto Rico with my high school friends Matt Prince, James Colligan and Dan Richards to celebrate our 50th year. The trip was epic. In fact, this trip alone could have made 2023 the best year ever. Ask me about this in person if you want a great story. (And let me know if I still have mud in my teeth from the off-roading we did.)

8. Dudes Dinners: I do a regular thing called Dudes Dinner with a crew of impressive guys in Mequon, Wisconsin. It’s great quality guy time with food, laughs, great stories, togetherness, and book recommendations. All dudes should have a group of dudes like these dudes.

9. Track Season: My daughter Ava had a great track season in the spring of 2023. She throws the discus and had 6 first-place finishes, 2 second-places, and 1 third-place finish. She is now 2 feet off her school’s 44-year-old discus record, with her senior season coming up this spring. She has made huge improvements in technique and strength in the off-season. Did I mention that I am her coach? So I get both Dad-joy and Coach-joy out of her success.

10. Football Season: I also coach my son Magnus’s football team. We had our best season ever in 2023. After winning 1 game in 5th grade and 2 games in 6th grade, this year the 7th graders went 5-3. Magnus had about 25 tackles for losses, a blocked punt, a blocked kick and a safety. (Did I mention I am the defensive coordinator?) On offense, he scored a 72-yard touchdown. So I got the same kind of double Dad-joy/Coach-joy I enjoyed during the track season. The bonds that these boys create with each other through football are amazing. And the father-son bond is like Kragle.

11. Music Success: My son Johann is a talented musician. In the spring he won the Wisconsin State Federation Piano Competition. He also takes saxophone lessons from a very talented professor at UW Milwaukee. Our home is always full of Johann’s beautiful music. I often can’t tell whether the music in my house is the stereo or the sonny-o.

12. I read 41 books: I set a goal of reading 24 books this year and blew past it. I read a lot of books in 2023 that made me feel smarter and more insightful, like the Scarecrow at the end of The Wizard of Oz when he finally gets a brain.

13. My Home: 2 years ago we moved into our new home in Mequon. It’s the first home I have lived in as an adult that I didn’t consider temporary. We have been remodeling the attic above the garage into a guest suite and upgrading the workout room in the basement into an amazing home gym. Both projects are almost complete. In another month I may go J.D. Salinger-style and never leave my home again.

14. My Baby Sister’s Wedding: My youngest sister Donielle got married in December, which was amazing on many levels. It brought my whole family together for the first time in several years. We were all back home in New England for the first time since 1996. The wedding was fun and full of family and friends. Plus, the day before the wedding I had a very special lunch at Simon Pearce in Quechee, Vermont with my parents and my 3 sisters, just like when we were growing up, except nobody spewed milk out of the nose. It was wonderful and hilarious. Thanks to this wedding, my family now feels complete. Or at least until the next generation starts doubling up and multiplying.

15. UW Track & Field Reunion:  I got to see a lot of my college track teammates in October in Madison, Wisconsin. Many of them I hadn’t seen in 5, 10, or 20 years. Seeing your people in real life is always better than just connecting on Zoom, text, and social media. (Unless your people don’t shower or use deodorant.)

16. Life and Death: I had several close family friends pass away in 2023. While they were each very sad, they also made me value my life, health, and family even more.

Key Takeaway

You make great years through your actions, your good decisions and your relationships. You make great years through your hard work and your reputation. To make 2024 your best year yet, create great habits. Make time for friends and family. Plan adventures large and small. Read great books. And remember that life is short. So do the important things now.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Here’s the best way to start a great new year in 2024.

Tonight is the big night! It’s New Year’s Eve! Like the Lexus December to Remember, it’s time to put a big red bow on 2023. Or, if your 2023 was a lemon, it’s time to put on some Del Amitri and kiss this thing goodbye. Either way, this is the biggest party night of the year. Because we always save the best for last. Or do we always start off with a bang? (I always forget.)

New Year. New You.

With the new year comes new expectations. We set goals and resolutions for the next 366 days. It’s exciting to think that, like a new iPhone or Fast & Furious release, the new and improved version of ourselves will hit the shelves tomorrow!

Most of us think our lives, habits and body fat will all get better, starting tomorrow morning. But there is one simple thing you can do tonight, on New Year’s Eve, to give yourself the best possible start to a great 2024.

Don’t stay up until midnight.

Go to bed at a reasonable hour tonight. Going to sleep early on New Year’s Eve is a wonderfully rebellious move that sets you up for success in the new year. I have gone to bed before midnight on New Year’s Eve for the past several years. And I love it.

No Bonus Points

You don’t get any credit, in either the old year or the new, for staying up to witness the clock tick to midnight. There will be very little productive work that happens between 10pm and midnight. If you haven’t made your goals in the first 364 days and 22 hours, you’re not likely to achieve them in the last 120 minutes.

The simple fact is that you don’t get a jumpstart on your goals, hopes, dreams or resolutions by staying up past midnight tonight. You get tired. And maybe you’ll start the new year with a hangover. Neither of which you really want.

The Downside To Staying Up Late

If you stay up until midnight tonight, one of 2 things will happen:

  1. You won’t get an early start tomorrow morning. Getting an early start to your day is the best way to be productive. So if you are motivated to achieve more in the year ahead, get up early and get going.
  2. You won’t get a good night’s sleep. Let’s say that you stayed up late, but also get up early tomorrow. That means that you are not fully recharged, fully energized, and ready to make January 1st an outstanding start to the new year. If you are serious about making positive changes, you should seriously get serious about creating good sleep habits, starting tonight.

Let’s get it started

Aim for getting a good 7 or 8 hours of sleep tonight. As we all know, the end is determined by how we begin. One great step leads to another. And one great day leads to another. Remember, the longer you wait to get into a new, positive habit, the less likely it is to happen.

Key Takeaway

Consider being a rebel tonight and turning in early. Get a great night’s sleep. Start 2024 early, well-rested, recharged and re-energized. It’s the best way to start your best year yet. Have a fun and safe New Year’s Eve!

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Great advice on how to best position yourself.

I spent a lot of time this fall with Oscar-nominated cinematographer Jeff Cronenweth. Jeff was the cinematographer for a couple of little movies you may have heard of, including Fight Club, and A Social Network. He also filmed the Shake It Off video for Travis Kelces’ girlfriend, Taylor, which has been viewed a Dr. Evil-sized 3.3 billion times!

Our team at The Weaponry worked with Jeff and his director brother Tim on a great new TV commercial for a great client that I can’t talk about yet. Kinda like the way you can’t talk about Fight Club. Except in this case nobody gets punched in the tooth.

The Photos

Throughout the month-long multi-timezone shoot, the agency, client and the Cronenweths would take a picture after we wrapped at each location. As we gathered for our team photo following an early morning sunrise shooot, Jeff gave our group a piece of advice. He told us to position ourselves so that we could feel the warmth of the sun on our faces. This would ensure that our face was lit for the picture. It was great advice that allowed us all to direct ourselves, kinda like Kevin Costner, Tyler Perry, or Pam & Tommy.

Positioning ourselves so that we can feel the warmth of the sun on our faces. Jeff and Tim are in the front. John Hancock is in the back.

But I couldn’t help but think that Jeff’s great advice transcends photography and film. In fact, I think it is one of the best pieces of advice and direction we can give another person.

The Sunshine Advice

Always position yourself so that you feel the warmth of the sunshine on your face. Don’t be content to stand in the shadows. As you navigate your personal journey always position yourself amongst people who shine on you. Surround yourself with others who provide the warm glow of kindness, support, respect and encouragement. Find a career where you can feel the glow of the work you do on your face. Spend time in places where you can feel the warmth of the people and the culture. That warmth you feel is the sign that you are exactly where you should be.

Key Takeaway

When you are in the right place with the right people doing the right things you can feel it like warm sunshine on your face. Seek out that feeling. Enjoy it when you find it. And don’t settle for less.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

What kind of reputation are you building?

Earlier this month I was in Orlando for a speaking engagement. I was invited to talk to an organization about branding and customer experience. The two are inextricably linked. Like flotsam and jetsam, dilly and dally, or Tony Orlando and Dawn.

Because we were in Orlando, and nearly everyone flew in for the meeting, I used airlines to illustrate an important point about customer experience. I said that every employee who works for an airline has the ability to impact the customer experience. And like blood types, the impact could be either positive or negative.

Then I asked the audience if they could name an airline that offers a bad customer experience. Immediately, a chorus of brand names was shouted out from across the large hotel conference room. Clearly, there were a lot of people in the room who had negative customer experiences while flying.

However, this wasn’t a condemnation of the airline industry. Because everyone in the room who spoke up shouted the same name. This specific airline was called out as the airline with the bad customer experience. Like The Ohio State University.

In the minds of these customers, this airline brand was synonymous with bad customer experience. And by the number of witnesses who testified against them, the airline in question had clearly earned that brand reputation over and over and over again.

The important reminder.

Every interaction you have contributes to the brand reputation of the organization you represent. This is true whether you are the CEO, a front-line worker, the newest employee, or a volunteer. You are creating the brand and the customer experience through the experience you offer to those with whom you interact.

You also have a personal brand. Your brand is one of your greatest assets or your greatest liabilities. And while Joan Jett doesn’t give a damn ’bout her reputation, you should. And you should remember that it is created by each interaction you have with other people.

Key Takeaway

You earn your brand reputation every day. Consider the experience you are offering those you interact with. A positive experience enhances both your personal brand and the brand of the company or organization you represent. It is true when you are reliable, helpful, funny and kind. And it is true when you are unreliable, unresponsive, and rude. So choose to be great to others. You’ll earn the best reputation you could ever want.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The 2 key ingredients you need for a great year in 2024.

You have just over 2 weeks until you jump into 2024 like David Lee Roth. Which makes now the perfect time to prepare for a great year. It is important to realize that great years don’t just happen on their own. They are created by you, with a strong assist from God.

I have had a lot of great years. And I’ve come to recognize that great years consist of success in 2 key areas. The first area I call PSI, which stands for Productivity and Self-Improvement. The second area I call ME, which stands for Memories and Experiences. (Although you could easily call it EM if you wanted to.)

Your PSI comes from a great routine.

A great routine ensures that you are working, growing and maintaining your mind and body. This is how you build productivity, and self-improvement into your days, weeks and months. This is done by developing strong habits in the following areas:

  • A good sleep schedule
  • Exercise
  • A strong and productive work routine
  • Good eating habits
  • Reading
  • Reflection
  • Prayer
  • Church
  • Meditation
  • Hygiene
  • Laying off the drugs

If you want help developing your own great habits I strongly recommend the book Atomic Habits by James Clear.

Your ME success comes from breaking your routine.

If everything you did was within your routine you wouldn’t create special experiences. And special experiences are critical to developing memories and an interesting, well-flavored life. The routine breaks are where your great stories come from. Because no one wants to hear your story about that time you followed your routine, and things went the way you expected.

Your scheduled routine breaks include:

  • Travel
  • Shows
  • Parties
  • Vacation
  • Competitions
  • Parades
  • Concerts
  • Hikes
  • Romance
  • Practical Jokes
  • Non-required shopping
  • Group Dinners
  • Taking an elective class
  • Reindeer Games

Key Takeaway

As you prepare for a great 2024, make sure you have the ingredients you need for a great year. Develop a strong routine that will help drive strong and productive habits. But then regularly disrupt your routine with special events that will add to your life and your experiences with friends and family. These disruptions are what will create a well-balanced life. Because your success comes from what you do repeatedly. And your memories come from the novel experiences. Together, they provide you with everything you need for a great year and a great life.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to create your own best practice approach to practice.

My 13-year-old son Magnus plays the cello. He has been playing for 4 years and I can tell that he has a natural talent for it. But he doesn’t typically practice the way you need to to Rumplestilskin your raw straw talent into golden skill.

Last week, I tried a different approach to Magnus’ practice routine. I asked him to tell me what he thought an effective practice schedule looks like. He said, ‘I should play all 3 of my songs for the week twice every day. And I should listen to my songs once every day.’ Like everyday people.

While I thought playing the songs twice seemed too light, I wanted his practice plan to be driven by him. So I overruled my judgy internal objection and sustained his proposal.

Following our discussion, something interesting happened. Magnus followed his own prescription for a successful week of cello practice. While it was not Yo-Yo Ma level, The Yo-Yo Magnus approach got good results.

Last night Magnus had his cello lesson. He had the best lesson ever. It happened because he followed his own formula for success. And his formula was self-prescribed at a strength he felt he could sustain for a week. Which is the best way to start. Then, as you enjoy the return on your time invested you are more likely to increase the input to enjoy an even better output.

Key Takeaway

Practicing is the key to self-improvement. But the key to getting yourself to practice is spelling out what you think appropriate practice should look like in your world. Create a plan that works with your timing, your energy and your desired outcome. Once you have set your own plan based on those criteria, you are more likely to follow through and enjoy the return on your invested time.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to think about your future like a great new home.

I have bought 5 homes in the past 20 years. I know a lot about the process. After all, I do it every 4 years. Which means every time you watch the Summer Olympics, vote for president, or admit you were wrong, I am buying a house.

The critical first step to buying a home is considering how much you can afford. You start with a price range, that includes the minimum and the maximum amount you would spend. You know, like something between $200,000 and $300,000. Ish.

Then you shop for your home. The final price of the house you buy falls in one of two places:

  • A. At the top of your price range
  • B. Above the top of your price range. (Am I right?)

The challenge is that once you see how good the homes at the top of the range are it is hard to settle for anything less.

Applying this to the rest of your life.

To maximize your life, approach it the same way you approach purchasing a new home.

This means that you should have minimum expectations for your life. And you should have maximum expectations for your life. This includes relationships, careers, adventures, investments, health and anything else that leads to your happiness and sense of achievement, accomplishment and fulfillment. (Basically all the ments.)

Then, like with the home buying example, push yourself to the top of your range. Or beyond. Don’t settle for less. Always strive for the upper limit. Because when you do, you will often find yourself above it.

Key Takeaway

Imagine what you are capable of at your best. Then don’t settle for less.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why it’s important to give yourself credit for small victories.

I went to Puerto Rico on a Guys’ Weekend recently. During the action-packed adventure, my friends Dan Richards, Matt Prince and James Colligan played 11 games of pickleball. I had only played the game twice before. I am not good. But that weekend I played enough to get more intelligent about the game. I am now starting to have ideas on strategies. And techniques. And excuses.

One of my greatest problems, among many others, is that I hit the ball long a lot. As I played more I wouldn’t say I stopped hitting it long. But I could see that I was hitting it less long. My shots or pickles or whatever you call them were inching closer and closer to being in the area I was trying to hit. I recognized that progress as my true, but subtle victory.

pickleball
Me and my guys on our Guys’ Weekend. Despite the fact that I know 4 guys named Guy, none of them joined us on our trip.
I guess if your name is Guy, every weekend is a Guys Weekend.

When you are learning a new skill it is important not to simply see success and failure. Pass and fail. Or right and wrong. It is valuable to recognize your progress. To note your closer and closer approximations. To identify your good misses. Like Doubtfire, Butterworth and Fields.

Skill acquisition doesn’t happen overnight. It happens as a creep towards correct. The key is to increase the percentage of times you get it right. And to shrink your range of variation. Recognize your improvement along the way, even when you are still not doing things correctly. Because it proves that you are on the right track. And it provides the encouragement you need to keep going.

Key Takeaway

When learning new skills look for small wins. Recognize the improvements that don’t show up on the scoreboard. Give yourself permission to be an amateur. It’s not about hitting the bullseye. It’s about throwing the dart, taking feedback from where it hits, and correcting accordingly. Then just keep adjusting, attempting and learning until you can’t miss. But be patient. It will take a while. All worthwhile things do.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why you should focus more of your efforts on long term results.

I have always thought about the long term. I don’t focus on immediate gratification. Because long-term goals pack much more satisfaction than short-term rewards. One is like a king-sized candy bar. The other is like the mini version you eat in half a bite. (If it were possible to eat anything other than apple sauce in half a bite.)

One of my favorite examples of long-term thinking comes from famed landscape architect Fredrick Law Olmstead. Check out his quote below:

“I have all my life been considering distant effects and always sacrificing immediate success and applause to that of the future. In laying out Central Park we determined to think of no result to be realized in less than forty years.”

– Fredrick Law Olmstead

Olmstead wasn’t thinking about Central Park being finished in the year he began crafting it. He was thinking far into the future. He was focused on a time decades later when the trees would be fully mature. When Mother Nature would finish what he started. And when the park would be the inspiration for a coffee shop on the hit sitcom Friends.

What distant effects are you working on now? What investments are you making today in your personal or professional life that you expect to pay out years from now? If you don’t have any it’s time to think longer term.

Key Takeaway

You are building your future today. Ensure your long-term successes by establishing habits that will create a steady, positive, compounding effect. Make each day of your life add to your legacy. Remember, long term results take longer to achieve. But they offer the greatest return on your invested time.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

To create more great outcomes, first focus on your energy.

Do you ever think about what fuels your success? Is it your talent? Your skills? Your network? Your grit? Your actions? The fact that you are a hottie with a karate body? While all of those things are valuable, they are not fuel.

The fuel of your success, both personal and professional, is your personal energy.

It is your energy that fuels your actions. Your energy puts your skills and talent in motion. It is your energy that helps build and maintain your network. Your grit becomes gritless without the energy to hold on, or to plow through challenging times.

Your work ethic, will and determination all require energy to activate. When you run out of energy, you run out of all of the above. And when you are running on empty you simply stop running. Just ask Jackson Browne. Or Forrest Gump.

To create more great outcomes, first focus on your energy. That means knowing your energy sources.

Some are physical:

  • Exercise
  • Sleep
  • Nutrition

Some are psychological

  • Your mission
  • Your purpose
  • Your confidence
  • Your desire for revenge (which is negative, yet effective)

Some are individual:

  • Socializing (for extraverts)
  • Solitude (for intraverts)
  • Time with nature (for dirtverts)

Key Takeaway

Know where your energy comes from. Tap into those sources by creating energy-replenishing habits. Rest and renew your energy. Keep it flowing. It will keep all the other good things in your life going too.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.