Tag: life lessons

To create more great outcomes, first focus on your energy.

Do you ever think about what fuels your success? Is it your talent? Your skills? Your network? Your grit? Your actions? The fact that you are a hottie with a karate body? While all of those things are valuable, they are not fuel.

The fuel of your success, both personal and professional, is your personal energy.

It is your energy that fuels your actions. Your energy puts your skills and talent in motion. It is your energy that helps build and maintain your network. Your grit becomes gritless without the energy to hold on, or to plow through challenging times.

Your work ethic, will and determination all require energy to activate. When you run out of energy, you run out of all of the above. And when you are running on empty you simply stop running. Just ask Jackson Browne. Or Forrest Gump.

To create more great outcomes, first focus on your energy. That means knowing your energy sources.

Some are physical:

  • Exercise
  • Sleep
  • Nutrition

Some are psychological

  • Your mission
  • Your purpose
  • Your confidence
  • Your desire for revenge (which is negative, yet effective)

Some are individual:

  • Socializing (for extraverts)
  • Solitude (for intraverts)
  • Time with nature (for dirtverts)

Key Takeaway

Know where your energy comes from. Tap into those sources by creating energy-replenishing habits. Rest and renew your energy. Keep it flowing. It will keep all the other good things in your life going too.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How do you compare to other successful people?

There are people who are doing life better than you. They are more successful than you. They are happier. They have better careers and better relationships. And they are more enlightened on their spiritual journeys. They even have better teeth than you. Not that there is anything really wrong with your teeth. Most of your teeth are good.

But you are also doing life better than a lot of other people. In fact, there are people who would trade places with you in a hummingbird’s heartbeat. They envy your success, happiness, career, and relationships. They are also jealous of your good teeth.

Perspective Calibration

It’s important to remember both of these groups. Those who are doing better than you give you something to strive for. They provide a higher standard for you to hit. They are valuable reminders that you can do better and be better. (You better, you better, you bet.)

Those ahead of you help spur your growth. Which is a valuable gift. Plus, when you catch up to these people, and then pass them, it makes for a great scene in the movie version of your life. Which can now be made thanks to the end of the Hollywood actors’ strike.

However, just as you look to those ahead of you, others look to you as a model to strive for. Yes, others aspire to be on your level. These people provide a valuable perspective on how much you have, how good you are, how far you have come, and how much you have to be grateful for. Remember this as you dig into your cranberries and yams.

Key Takeaway

Always look both ways. See those who are better than you, and let them inspire you to grow and improve. But also see those who are behind you on the continuum of growth and development. They help you recognize your own successes, accomplishments, and gifts. Appreciating your strengths and successes yet seeing all that is still possible ahead is the golden spot in life. That valuable real estate is available to everyone willing to recognize that they are already there.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

4 Halloween tricks to success that can benefit you every day.

It’s Halloween! Today is one of the most interesting days of the year. If aliens landed on Earth today they would have a very different impression of the place than if they landed on, say, Saint Patrick’s Day. (Note: Earthlings are all green and smell like cabbage and alcohol.)

But hidden under the clown masks and Freddy Kreuger costumes are important life lessons. As you go about your day today note these 4 tricks to success from Halloween that can benefit you any day.

Dress the part.

If you don’t wear a costume you are not likely to get candy. Remember that when you go on a job interview, a new business pitch, or a date. Portraying the right image is important. Perception is reality. At The Weaponry our dress code is simple: Dress the way you want people to see you. Also, today, make sure to really wear clothes. Halloween shouldn’t be an excuse to walk around in your underwear. (That last point is really just a note to self. You do you.)

Ask for what you want.

On Halloween, people walk up to total strangers, ask for a treat, and get it. It’s a great reminder to ask for what you want. Often it’s just that easy. Here’s more proof.

Things look scarier than they really are.

Those ghosts, goblins, and Tammy Faye Bakkers you see at Halloween may look scary on the surface. But peak a little closer and you realize that they only look scary. It’s really just the kid down the street. Or Sally from accounting. Many of the most intimidating things in life are not that scary once you actually confront them. I discovered this about entrepreneurship, writing a book, buying my own health insurance, and raising teenagers.

The more doors you knock on the more doors will open for you.

When a kid comes home with a pillowcase loaded with candy you know that they went to a lot of houses. Because the more doors you knock on the more doors open. And the more doors that open the more John Candy you get. It is true at Halloween. And it is true in sales, job hunting, fundraising, dating, and advertising. Knocking on doors creates opportunity. And opportunity turns into success.

Key Takeaway

Happy Halloween! To be successful today, remember to dress the part. Know that things look scarier than they really are. Ask for what you want. And the more doors you knock on the more doors will open for you. Also, check your candy before you eat it. And if you have any extra Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups, send them my way.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to use the power of regret to live your best life today.

Imagine for a moment you got the news that you have one day to live. Just one. And it’s not Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney. (Nice try though.) You have enough time to say goodbye to your closest friends and family. But not enough time to add to your life resume in any meaningful way. I know this is a bummer. It’s supposed to be.

Now, take a moment to reflect.

What do you regret not doing during your time on the planet?

  • Travel?
  • Starting a business?
  • Writing your book?
  • The relationship you left unrelated?
  • Being scared?
  • Not giving back?
  • Not being your true self?
  • Too little time with loved ones?
  • That person you murdered?
  • Not buying life insurance?

The good news is, as far as I know, you have more than one day left.

The even better news is that you now know what to do with your time left. Do those things you would regret not doing now. Or stop doing the things you would regret not stopping now. That way, when you get to the real end of your story you will have more ‘I dids!’ and fewer ‘I wish I hads.’

The Proof

I gave myself this Regret Test on the eve of my 40th birthday. The regrets that surfaced inspired me to start my own business (The Weaponry), write a book (What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say?), travel more internationally, coach my kids’ sports teams, take redeye flights home from work trips to maximize time with my family and donate blood. The Regret Test offered the most important question I have ever asked myself. I encourage you to do the same.

Key Takeaway

Regret is a powerful tool. It helps you recognize the relative value of alternative outcomes. Tap into the power of regret to inspire your next actions. And start doing the things you wish you had done now, before it is too late.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to respond to your imperfections like a manufacturing facility does.

I am trying to get better all the time. But the reality is that I am not always better.

I’m building good habits. But I still have bad habits too.

I try to be patient and kind. But I still get angry, lose my temper, and say naughty words.

I try to be a doer. But too often I procrastinate. (Although sometimes I don’t procrastinate until later.)

I try not to let my phone take attention away from my family and friends. But then I’ll find something hilarious on social media, or wonder about the Wordle word, or get a notification about the famous person from the 80s who got eaten by a snake, and just have to click on it to find out if it was David Coverdale.

Why? Why?

Tell em that it’s human nature.

But I keep trying.

And I don’t let my lesser actions and behaviors define me. Or confirm that I am not actually getting better. I know I am.

Instead, I always think about those signs you see in a factory that count the number of days they have gone without a workplace injury. They are reminders of your accumulated success. And encouragement to keep the streak alive. And presumably the people too.

So I have counters in my head, on my phone, and on pieces of paper around my house tallying my successful days doing or not doing various things. The streaks feel good. So I focus on extending them and not breaking the chain. But when I do, I reset the clock, start again, and try to go longer, if not forever.

Key Takeaway

Self-improvement is directional. It is not about absolutes. Increase the number of days and times you do the right things the way you want to do them in your head. Do the good things more. Do the bad things less. Focus on building your streaks. A winning streak is an uninterrupted sequence of successes. That should always be your goal. Just keep adding days. Go as long as you can without messing up. The goal is to be better for the rest of your life. But if you break the chain, always start a new chain and try again.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why it’s so important to have competition in your life.

When I was a kid I competed a lot. First on the playground and in the yard playing games with my friends and sisters. Then in school, I played football and a little basketball. (The amount was little, not the size of the ball.) I competed in 10 different track and field events in high school. And in college, I competed in 4 track & field events at the University of Wisconsin,

Those years of athletic competitions were not only great fun, they were motivating. When you are competing you are testing yourself. You are pushing yourself to improve. You are either getting better or getting worse. And when there is always a win or a loss in the balance your actions and your days have meaning. (Even without Webster.)

A common theme among athletes is that they feel lost and struggle with their identity after their athletic careers end. Because their field of competition was central to their self-identity. Their life was set to the seasons of competition and preparation. And the competition gave them purpose and direction.

But I never felt lost without athletic competition. Even before I had Waze and Google Maps on my phone.

After Athletics

Today, I am a long way past my college athletics. But I still experience that competitive drive every day. In fact, my life is filled with more motivating competition than ever before.

11 Ways I am competing and keeping score today:

The first thing I do when I get out of bed each morning is weigh myself. I track my weight every day. Knowing that I am competing with the scale each morning drives my exercise and eating behaviors every day. This morning I weighed exactly what I weighed when I graduated from college.

I compete in reading. I always try to read more this year than last. I am currently on pace to read 40 books this year, my best year ever. My reading also feels like I am winning my competition to get smarter. So every time I sit down to read a few pages (I never read standing up) I feel like I am winning.

I compete with my net worth. I track it, grow it, and set goals for it. I enjoy this personal competition and the positive returns it provides.

I compete in book sales. I track the sales of my book What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? And I think about actions that help move more books. I get a score every month from my publisher. This is a fun competition with myself, and Dr. Suess.

I also compete as a speaker. Writing a book has created a lot of speaking opportunities. I try to speak to as many people each year as I can. I talk at schools, to companies, teams, conferences, trade shows, Rotary Clubs and Chambers of Commerce. (Which my son Magnus says sounds like a Harry Potter thing: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Commerce…)

I compete in the gym, lifting weights, trying to get stronger than yesterday. (Like the Beetles said.)

I compete in business at The Weaponry. Not only do I work to grow our business, but our team competes to help our clients grow and win in their industries too.

I compete as the coach of my son Magnus’ 7th grade football team. As the defensive coordinator, I compete each week to help our team stop our opponents. I spend a surprising amount of time in my late evenings watching game film of 7th graders playing football in order to win this competition.

I compete as the girl’s track team throwing coach at Homestead High School in Mequon, Wisconsin. My daughter Ava is on the team. I compete to help my girls set personal records, win meets, win championships, and rise on the school, state, and national rankings.

I compete for quality time spent with my family. Meal time, conversations in cars and kitchens, time coaching, helping with homework, watching movies, and taking walks. They all add up. And they are all valuable.

I compete to get this blog written and published 3 times per week. It is not easy to keep a blog going. You have to make it a competition. This is my 916 blog post.

But Why?

All of this competition gives me a competitive fire every morning when I get out of bed. The same kind of fire I had as an athlete. I look forward to each day, energized, like a drumming bunny toy. I take on each day with a scorecard for success that covers many areas of my life. And each night when I lay down to sleep I know whether or not I won the day.

Key Takeaway

If you want more meaning, more energy and more fire in your life, find areas to compete. Physical, business, reading, relationshipping, volunteering, coaching, playing, or weight loss. Anything that you want to do well and keep improving. Set benchmarks and keep raising them and pushing yourself. It’s an exciting way to feel like you are winning at life.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

One of the keys to accomplishing a lot is lazy time.

Like Morris Day, I am trying to make the most of my time.

So I try to stay busy and do a lot of stuff.

  • I am an entrepreneur. (TheWeaponry.com)
  • I write a blog and publish 3 new posts every week. (adamalbrecht.blog)
  • I have published 2 books and am working on a third. (You can find them here.)
  • I travel the country as a professional speaker. (That is still awesomely weird to write.) 
  • I coach youth football in the fall.
  • I coach high school track in the spring.
  • I have 3 kids that I try to parent right.
  • And I have a great wife that I love spending time with, and that I really want to keep.
  • Plus I try to work out at least 4 times per week.
  • And I am trying to read 3 books every month.

During my talks I am often asked how I get so much done.

Ironically, one of the keys to doing a lot is rest. (Although, like Alanis Morissette, I may have used ironic incorrectly here. Maybe it’s a paradox. Or maybe even 3 dox.)

Rest

Rest means getting good sleep at night.

It means taking quick naps in the afternoon or evening when I can.

And it means enjoying downtime. 

Sometimes downtime means a lazy few minutes, or a few lazy hours. 

Sometimes it means a lazy day.

Or a vacation.

Regular rest allows you to sustain your efforts over a longer time. It helps you avoid burnout, Spicoli. And it helps you look forward to getting back to work.

I plan to take some lazy time this weekend to rest, recharge and prepare for a strong push to the end of the year. I encourage you to too. And if Bono and The Edge are reading this, I encourage U2 to too. 

Key Takeaway

Rest is an important part of any success program. It may be counterintuitive, but rest allows you to maintain a stronger, faster and more sustainable pace.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to be wildly successful through 7 seconds of effort.

This fall marks my 6th year of coaching football. I never had any interest in coaching. I started when my son Magnus’ flag football program needed parent coaches. It was only a Saturday morning commitment back then. But like the mythical slowly boiled frog, who forgot to jump out of the pot, I am now the defensive coordinator for Magnus’ 7th grade tackle football team. Which is an everyday-in-August commitment. Oy.

As a coach, I am really a student. I am trying to learn as much about football as I can to help my players play well, have fun, and be safe. But like Uncle Rico, I still have a strong desire to win.

Back to School

2 weeks ago I had a great opportunity to learn some new things about the game of football. On Varsity Day, Coach Tom Price, President of Cardinal Football, brought the local Varsity football players from Homestead High School in Mequon, Wisconsin to practice to work with the 5th-8th grade players in the Cardinal football program that feeds players into Homestead. While the high schoolers were working with our athletes, one of the outstanding Homestead football coaches on Head Coach Drake Zortmans’s staff talked to the Cardinal coaches about football.

The coach, Dan Juedes, is a 70-something who is not only in the Wisconsin Football Coaches Hall of Fame, he is in the National Football Coaches Hall of Fame. He coaches at football camps across the country, including at many of the Big Ten schools. In fact, Dan has been coaching so long that when he started the Big 10 conference only had 5 teams.

Coach Dan Juedes looking very coachy.

Dan’s Lessons

As the novice coaches gathered around Dan, he shared a few gems about coaching football. His first lesson had been passed along to him by the legendary Bo Schembechler, the former head football coach at the University of Michigan. Dan told us:

‘The average football play lasts 7 seconds. All players look pretty much the same during the first 2 seconds. What separates great players from the ordinary is what they do in seconds 3 through 7.‘

-Coach Dan Juedes

When Dan shared this I felt like I had heard Einstein explain the Universe with E= MC2. Because Dan’s 7-second rule took a very complex game and broke it down into a very simple formula for success.

Coach Juedes carried off the field, presumably because he was tired from coaching so hard.

Josh Hunt, our 7th-grade teams’ head coach, and I couldn’t wait to share this valuable insight with our players. So once we were reunited with our athletes (and it felt so good) we eagerly shared our new insight with our team. And we have been resharing the 7-second secret every day since.

Applying the 7-Second Success Formula

On Saturday we had our first game of the season. The last thing I told the players before they took the field was to give a full 7 seconds of effort on every play and great things would happen.

But the much bigger opponents overwhelmed our team out of the gate. They ran around us and over us until they were knock, knock knocking on the endzone’s door.

But with our backs to our own endzone, defending a first and goal play from the 6-yard line our team gave a 7-second effort. My son Magnus fired across the line from his defensive end position and engaged with a tight end. He shed the blocker at 2 seconds and attacked the opposing team’s quarterback. What happened over the next 5 seconds changed everything.

Magnus sprinted after the quarterback, and not only did he tackle him deep in the backfield, he punched the ball out of his hands in the process. Our middle linebacker Jaden Daniels was also giving a 7-second effort and pounced on the loose ball. This meant that we went from our opponent having the ball on first and goal from the 6-yard line, to our team having a first and ten at the 17-yard line. Boom!

Then our offense became a 7-Second Squad. We put together an 83-yard scoring drive that led to a 6-0 lead.

It turns out that’s all we needed to win the game. Because thanks to our 7-second efforts we held our formidable and much bigger opponent to 0 points. A shutout.

Me and Magnus after our opening game win.

The 7-Second Life Lesson

Dan’s 7-second rule teaches us to go hard to the end of every play. While everyone starts out doing the right thing on nearly every play, at some point, most people stop giving maximum effort and forfeit the advantage to those who go hard until the whistle blows.

But the 7-Second rule doesn’t just apply to football. The basic concept applies to success in all areas of life. Most people start out strong. But they give up too early. They stop or quit just when their effort is needed most. It is true in sports and in your career. It is true in marriage and in parenting. And it is true anywhere effort is needed to create results.

Key Takeaway

The difference in life is not made at the start. It is what you do after the start. Don’t stop 2 seconds in. That’s when most people let up, thinking they have done their job. Don’t fall into that trap. True success comes from your effort during seconds 3 through 7. So play the full play. Give a full effort every time. That effort and the advantage it creates compounds, play after play, day after day, year after year. Play until the end. And the end will be sweeter than you could have imagined. Just like the donuts I will bring my team today to celebrate the donut they put on the scoreboard on Saturday. Boom!

Final Note

Over the weekend as I reviewed the game film to provide feedback, I saw the 7-second rule over and over again. The great plays were made by those playing hard for 7 seconds. The best results of all came when the entire team played hard for 7 seconds. And as a proud Dad-Coach, I saw that Magnus had 3 sacks in the game and the game-winning tackle on 4th down in the 4th quarter. All of which came from giving full effort all the way to whistle. And I was amazed as I counted to 7 seconds over and over on our biggest plays. It turns out that Dan and Bo really know what they are talking about.

Also, I want to note that Dan Juedes and Tom Price have been a great help to me as track and field officials running the shot put and discus events at Homestead’s home meets in the spring. Thanks guys!

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why your talent alone is never enough to be successful.

There are talented people everywhere.

There is talent in the richest neighborhoods.

And in dirty tent villages.

There is talent in the best schools.

And in maximum security prisons.

Don’t ask me how I know…

Talent is not a rare gem.

It is as common as stone. Just ask Cold Steve Austin.

The great rarity is the will to invest time and energy to develop your talent.

The will to work, sacrifice, and stay the course over a prolonged period makes all the difference. It transforms your talent into valuable skills and desired results. It is that investment that separates the masses from the wildly successful.

Key Takeaway

Everyone has talent. It is what you are willing to invest to develop your talent that makes all the difference.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why it’s smart to think about your relationships like fires.

Do you know how to start a fire? Can you use the materials around you to build a useful fire to keep you warm or cook your food? I’m not talking about a Tom Hanks Castaway fire. You can use a match, a Zippo or a lantern and Mrs. O’Leary’s cow if you like. Even Billy Joel knows how to start that kind of fire.

Social fire.

Starting a relationship works just like starting a fire. You first create a little spark. Typically with a question or a comment to another person. Where are you from? Which kid is yours? Do you have any Grey Poupon? Or, you got your chocolate in my peanut butter.

That little spark is all you need to start a small social fire. From there, the valuable skill is to add more fuel to the fire. Ask bigger and deeper questions. This is like adding bigger sticks and logs to the fire. They provide more fuel. More heat. More light. Through this process of feeding the flames with your questions, comments, and conversation, you create your relationships. (My Grampy also used diesel fuel, and sometimes car tires to create his fires. Which today would be a good way to start a relationship with the EPA.)

The fire analogy is also useful because if you stop asking questions, stop reaching out, stop getting together, stop texting, calling, or DMing, the fire goes out. This holds true for personal, professional, romantic, and familial relationships. Zzzppp.

How Are Your Fires?

Are you maintaining your fires? Are you tending to and adding to your relationships? Or didn’t you realize you needed to?

It is okay to let some fires die. It’s fair to stop feeding social fires that require too much work to maintain. Especially when they don’t provide enough heat. And when you can’t find more sticks to throw on the fading embers. In that case, let it go, Elsa.

Spend your time feeding the fires that provide great light. The fires that are warm and nice to sit by. Feed the social fires when others are feeding them too. Keep those flames dancing to the end.

Key Takeaway

Relationships are like fires. They need a spark to start. Then they need a regular influx of fuel to burn warm and bright. Recognize which social fires are hard to maintain, and give them less fuel. Or let them go out. Feed the best fires. The ones that kick off the most heat, the best light and the least smoke. Fuel the fires that are the most enjoyable to sit next to. Those are the greatest inventions in human history. Just ask any caveman.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.