Tag: life lessons

Great advice on how to best position yourself.

I spent a lot of time this fall with Oscar-nominated cinematographer Jeff Cronenweth. Jeff was the cinematographer for a couple of little movies you may have heard of, including Fight Club, and A Social Network. He also filmed the Shake It Off video for Travis Kelces’ girlfriend, Taylor, which has been viewed a Dr. Evil-sized 3.3 billion times!

Our team at The Weaponry worked with Jeff and his director brother Tim on a great new TV commercial for a great client that I can’t talk about yet. Kinda like the way you can’t talk about Fight Club. Except in this case nobody gets punched in the tooth.

The Photos

Throughout the month-long multi-timezone shoot, the agency, client and the Cronenweths would take a picture after we wrapped at each location. As we gathered for our team photo following an early morning sunrise shooot, Jeff gave our group a piece of advice. He told us to position ourselves so that we could feel the warmth of the sun on our faces. This would ensure that our face was lit for the picture. It was great advice that allowed us all to direct ourselves, kinda like Kevin Costner, Tyler Perry, or Pam & Tommy.

Positioning ourselves so that we can feel the warmth of the sun on our faces. Jeff and Tim are in the front. John Hancock is in the back.

But I couldn’t help but think that Jeff’s great advice transcends photography and film. In fact, I think it is one of the best pieces of advice and direction we can give another person.

The Sunshine Advice

Always position yourself so that you feel the warmth of the sunshine on your face. Don’t be content to stand in the shadows. As you navigate your personal journey always position yourself amongst people who shine on you. Surround yourself with others who provide the warm glow of kindness, support, respect and encouragement. Find a career where you can feel the glow of the work you do on your face. Spend time in places where you can feel the warmth of the people and the culture. That warmth you feel is the sign that you are exactly where you should be.

Key Takeaway

When you are in the right place with the right people doing the right things you can feel it like warm sunshine on your face. Seek out that feeling. Enjoy it when you find it. And don’t settle for less.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

What kind of reputation are you building?

Earlier this month I was in Orlando for a speaking engagement. I was invited to talk to an organization about branding and customer experience. The two are inextricably linked. Like flotsam and jetsam, dilly and dally, or Tony Orlando and Dawn.

Because we were in Orlando, and nearly everyone flew in for the meeting, I used airlines to illustrate an important point about customer experience. I said that every employee who works for an airline has the ability to impact the customer experience. And like blood types, the impact could be either positive or negative.

Then I asked the audience if they could name an airline that offers a bad customer experience. Immediately, a chorus of brand names was shouted out from across the large hotel conference room. Clearly, there were a lot of people in the room who had negative customer experiences while flying.

However, this wasn’t a condemnation of the airline industry. Because everyone in the room who spoke up shouted the same name. This specific airline was called out as the airline with the bad customer experience. Like The Ohio State University.

In the minds of these customers, this airline brand was synonymous with bad customer experience. And by the number of witnesses who testified against them, the airline in question had clearly earned that brand reputation over and over and over again.

The important reminder.

Every interaction you have contributes to the brand reputation of the organization you represent. This is true whether you are the CEO, a front-line worker, the newest employee, or a volunteer. You are creating the brand and the customer experience through the experience you offer to those with whom you interact.

You also have a personal brand. Your brand is one of your greatest assets or your greatest liabilities. And while Joan Jett doesn’t give a damn ’bout her reputation, you should. And you should remember that it is created by each interaction you have with other people.

Key Takeaway

You earn your brand reputation every day. Consider the experience you are offering those you interact with. A positive experience enhances both your personal brand and the brand of the company or organization you represent. It is true when you are reliable, helpful, funny and kind. And it is true when you are unreliable, unresponsive, and rude. So choose to be great to others. You’ll earn the best reputation you could ever want.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

My book just turned 2 years old! Here are 9 ways it has changed my life.

I have dreamed about writing a book since I realized people did such things. As a kid, I knew Dr Suess did it. So did Laura Ingalls Wilder. But it seemed super hard. And time-consuming. But in March of 2020, I took the pandemically-induced gift of time, and started writing. And like a literary Forrest Gump, I just kept write-ing and write-ing. Today, my little paper baby, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? is 2 years old! So I have taken a moment to reflect on how writing this book has impacted my life.

9 Ways writing a book has impacted my life.

  1. I learned I can do hard things. Doing hard things demystifies the hard things you do. Yes, writing a book requires a lot of time, energy and focus. But it requires a little bit every day, not a full deposit at one time. Writing a book is actually like running 3 marathons. A writing marathon, a publishing marathon, and a marketing marathon (which only ends when you stop promoting your book.) I wrote more about it in this post. I enjoyed the process. It was not too much for me. And it’s not too much for you either.

2. I have earned a new level of respect. Our society respects published authors. I think it’s because you have done something that other people know is hard. And it indicates that you have a deep level of knowledge in a specific area. Or that you are both creative and disciplined. #createiplined I consider being a published author The Poor Man’s Ph.D. (Or Poor Woman’s Ph.D.) Because when you add author to your title it earns you a higher level of respect. (I always say respect like Ali G says respek!)

3. I get hired to speak. Since publishing my book my speaking requests have quadrizumpled. (Which is a Mary Poppins-like way of saying ‘greatly increased’. This year I traveled all over the country speaking at conferences, symposiums, company meetings, association events, rotary clubs, chamber of commerce events, and schools. I love speaking. For me, it’s right up there with smiling and chocolate milk.

4. I have made money. Between book sales and speaking engagements, my book has become a source of income. It’s cool to have a product that you only have to create once, but you can sell over and over again, like Nelly and Tim McGraw.

5. I get invited to be a guest. Since publishing my book I have been a guest on countless podcasts. (OK, I could probably count them if I tried really hard, but I haven’t.) I have also been invited to be a guest on the Milwaukee morning show The Morning Blend on NBC about 6 times, including this week! (Tune in here Friday morning at 9am, or find segments from the past anytime.)

6. I have been quoted. A cool result of writing a book is that I have been quoted on social media by people I don’t know. I have been alerted of mentions of my name, and when I followed the thread I realized that people I didn’t know shared quotes from the book. I have reached out to some of these people to thank them and find out how they read the quote. Some of them read the book. Others googled for quotes on positivity or other such positive terms. It’s pretty cool to have your work spread like that. Now I know how Jif and Skippy feel when people spread their work.

7. I attend book club discussions. I have never joined a book club. Perhaps because I am a dude, And book clubs have historically seemed less dudey. But I always thought they seemed like a cool idea. Now, every time I hear of a book club reading my book I volunteer to attend the discussion. My next one is coming up in January. It’s enjoyable to have conversations with people who read your book critically. And I love it when people share their favorite funny lines from the book. #DepecheMode

8. I have seen pictures of my book all over the world. Ok, so not North Korea or Antarctica. But, you know, a lot of cool places. People often take my book on vacation and enjoy reading it in some spectacular locales. Then they send me pics or tag me in photos. It is safe to say my book has been to more interesting places than I have.

9. I can buy my book from any bookseller. Initially, my book was only available on Amazon, from my publisher, Ripples Media, or from the trunk of my car. However, now, you can order my book from virtually anywhere. All the online booksellers that I have ever checked now carry it. And all independent bookstores can order it too. (Shout out to Boswell Book Company in Milwaukee for being amongst the first stores to stock the book on their shelves.)

Key Takeaway

Writing and publishing my book has added to my life in many positive and rewarding ways. And the impact continues to compound. Yes, it takes work. But the payoff has been well worth it. If you have considered writing a book I strongly encourage you to do it for real. I am happy to share everything I know. Although the key is to simply open a Google document (or Word doc) and start writing. Then write a little more every day, just like Elvis Costello.

If you are still looking for a great Christmas present that doesn’t break the bank, please consider giving What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? If you read this too late to be delivered and you live in the Milwaukee area, reach out to me directly at adam@theweaponry.com. I can hook you up with a signed copy, even up to the last minute. Boom!

How to create your own best practice approach to practice.

My 13-year-old son Magnus plays the cello. He has been playing for 4 years and I can tell that he has a natural talent for it. But he doesn’t typically practice the way you need to to Rumplestilskin your raw straw talent into golden skill.

Last week, I tried a different approach to Magnus’ practice routine. I asked him to tell me what he thought an effective practice schedule looks like. He said, ‘I should play all 3 of my songs for the week twice every day. And I should listen to my songs once every day.’ Like everyday people.

While I thought playing the songs twice seemed too light, I wanted his practice plan to be driven by him. So I overruled my judgy internal objection and sustained his proposal.

Following our discussion, something interesting happened. Magnus followed his own prescription for a successful week of cello practice. While it was not Yo-Yo Ma level, The Yo-Yo Magnus approach got good results.

Last night Magnus had his cello lesson. He had the best lesson ever. It happened because he followed his own formula for success. And his formula was self-prescribed at a strength he felt he could sustain for a week. Which is the best way to start. Then, as you enjoy the return on your time invested you are more likely to increase the input to enjoy an even better output.

Key Takeaway

Practicing is the key to self-improvement. But the key to getting yourself to practice is spelling out what you think appropriate practice should look like in your world. Create a plan that works with your timing, your energy and your desired outcome. Once you have set your own plan based on those criteria, you are more likely to follow through and enjoy the return on your invested time.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

To create more great outcomes, first focus on your energy.

Do you ever think about what fuels your success? Is it your talent? Your skills? Your network? Your grit? Your actions? The fact that you are a hottie with a karate body? While all of those things are valuable, they are not fuel.

The fuel of your success, both personal and professional, is your personal energy.

It is your energy that fuels your actions. Your energy puts your skills and talent in motion. It is your energy that helps build and maintain your network. Your grit becomes gritless without the energy to hold on, or to plow through challenging times.

Your work ethic, will and determination all require energy to activate. When you run out of energy, you run out of all of the above. And when you are running on empty you simply stop running. Just ask Jackson Browne. Or Forrest Gump.

To create more great outcomes, first focus on your energy. That means knowing your energy sources.

Some are physical:

  • Exercise
  • Sleep
  • Nutrition

Some are psychological

  • Your mission
  • Your purpose
  • Your confidence
  • Your desire for revenge (which is negative, yet effective)

Some are individual:

  • Socializing (for extraverts)
  • Solitude (for intraverts)
  • Time with nature (for dirtverts)

Key Takeaway

Know where your energy comes from. Tap into those sources by creating energy-replenishing habits. Rest and renew your energy. Keep it flowing. It will keep all the other good things in your life going too.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How do you compare to other successful people?

There are people who are doing life better than you. They are more successful than you. They are happier. They have better careers and better relationships. And they are more enlightened on their spiritual journeys. They even have better teeth than you. Not that there is anything really wrong with your teeth. Most of your teeth are good.

But you are also doing life better than a lot of other people. In fact, there are people who would trade places with you in a hummingbird’s heartbeat. They envy your success, happiness, career, and relationships. They are also jealous of your good teeth.

Perspective Calibration

It’s important to remember both of these groups. Those who are doing better than you give you something to strive for. They provide a higher standard for you to hit. They are valuable reminders that you can do better and be better. (You better, you better, you bet.)

Those ahead of you help spur your growth. Which is a valuable gift. Plus, when you catch up to these people, and then pass them, it makes for a great scene in the movie version of your life. Which can now be made thanks to the end of the Hollywood actors’ strike.

However, just as you look to those ahead of you, others look to you as a model to strive for. Yes, others aspire to be on your level. These people provide a valuable perspective on how much you have, how good you are, how far you have come, and how much you have to be grateful for. Remember this as you dig into your cranberries and yams.

Key Takeaway

Always look both ways. See those who are better than you, and let them inspire you to grow and improve. But also see those who are behind you on the continuum of growth and development. They help you recognize your own successes, accomplishments, and gifts. Appreciating your strengths and successes yet seeing all that is still possible ahead is the golden spot in life. That valuable real estate is available to everyone willing to recognize that they are already there.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

4 Halloween tricks to success that can benefit you every day.

It’s Halloween! Today is one of the most interesting days of the year. If aliens landed on Earth today they would have a very different impression of the place than if they landed on, say, Saint Patrick’s Day. (Note: Earthlings are all green and smell like cabbage and alcohol.)

But hidden under the clown masks and Freddy Kreuger costumes are important life lessons. As you go about your day today note these 4 tricks to success from Halloween that can benefit you any day.

Dress the part.

If you don’t wear a costume you are not likely to get candy. Remember that when you go on a job interview, a new business pitch, or a date. Portraying the right image is important. Perception is reality. At The Weaponry our dress code is simple: Dress the way you want people to see you. Also, today, make sure to really wear clothes. Halloween shouldn’t be an excuse to walk around in your underwear. (That last point is really just a note to self. You do you.)

Ask for what you want.

On Halloween, people walk up to total strangers, ask for a treat, and get it. It’s a great reminder to ask for what you want. Often it’s just that easy. Here’s more proof.

Things look scarier than they really are.

Those ghosts, goblins, and Tammy Faye Bakkers you see at Halloween may look scary on the surface. But peak a little closer and you realize that they only look scary. It’s really just the kid down the street. Or Sally from accounting. Many of the most intimidating things in life are not that scary once you actually confront them. I discovered this about entrepreneurship, writing a book, buying my own health insurance, and raising teenagers.

The more doors you knock on the more doors will open for you.

When a kid comes home with a pillowcase loaded with candy you know that they went to a lot of houses. Because the more doors you knock on the more doors open. And the more doors that open the more John Candy you get. It is true at Halloween. And it is true in sales, job hunting, fundraising, dating, and advertising. Knocking on doors creates opportunity. And opportunity turns into success.

Key Takeaway

Happy Halloween! To be successful today, remember to dress the part. Know that things look scarier than they really are. Ask for what you want. And the more doors you knock on the more doors will open for you. Also, check your candy before you eat it. And if you have any extra Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups, send them my way.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to use the power of regret to live your best life today.

Imagine for a moment you got the news that you have one day to live. Just one. And it’s not Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney. (Nice try though.) You have enough time to say goodbye to your closest friends and family. But not enough time to add to your life resume in any meaningful way. I know this is a bummer. It’s supposed to be.

Now, take a moment to reflect.

What do you regret not doing during your time on the planet?

  • Travel?
  • Starting a business?
  • Writing your book?
  • The relationship you left unrelated?
  • Being scared?
  • Not giving back?
  • Not being your true self?
  • Too little time with loved ones?
  • That person you murdered?
  • Not buying life insurance?

The good news is, as far as I know, you have more than one day left.

The even better news is that you now know what to do with your time left. Do those things you would regret not doing now. Or stop doing the things you would regret not stopping now. That way, when you get to the real end of your story you will have more ‘I dids!’ and fewer ‘I wish I hads.’

The Proof

I gave myself this Regret Test on the eve of my 40th birthday. The regrets that surfaced inspired me to start my own business (The Weaponry), write a book (What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say?), travel more internationally, coach my kids’ sports teams, take redeye flights home from work trips to maximize time with my family and donate blood. The Regret Test offered the most important question I have ever asked myself. I encourage you to do the same.

Key Takeaway

Regret is a powerful tool. It helps you recognize the relative value of alternative outcomes. Tap into the power of regret to inspire your next actions. And start doing the things you wish you had done now, before it is too late.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

How to respond to your imperfections like a manufacturing facility does.

I am trying to get better all the time. But the reality is that I am not always better.

I’m building good habits. But I still have bad habits too.

I try to be patient and kind. But I still get angry, lose my temper, and say naughty words.

I try to be a doer. But too often I procrastinate. (Although sometimes I don’t procrastinate until later.)

I try not to let my phone take attention away from my family and friends. But then I’ll find something hilarious on social media, or wonder about the Wordle word, or get a notification about the famous person from the 80s who got eaten by a snake, and just have to click on it to find out if it was David Coverdale.

Why? Why?

Tell em that it’s human nature.

But I keep trying.

And I don’t let my lesser actions and behaviors define me. Or confirm that I am not actually getting better. I know I am.

Instead, I always think about those signs you see in a factory that count the number of days they have gone without a workplace injury. They are reminders of your accumulated success. And encouragement to keep the streak alive. And presumably the people too.

So I have counters in my head, on my phone, and on pieces of paper around my house tallying my successful days doing or not doing various things. The streaks feel good. So I focus on extending them and not breaking the chain. But when I do, I reset the clock, start again, and try to go longer, if not forever.

Key Takeaway

Self-improvement is directional. It is not about absolutes. Increase the number of days and times you do the right things the way you want to do them in your head. Do the good things more. Do the bad things less. Focus on building your streaks. A winning streak is an uninterrupted sequence of successes. That should always be your goal. Just keep adding days. Go as long as you can without messing up. The goal is to be better for the rest of your life. But if you break the chain, always start a new chain and try again.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why it’s so important to have competition in your life.

When I was a kid I competed a lot. First on the playground and in the yard playing games with my friends and sisters. Then in school, I played football and a little basketball. (The amount was little, not the size of the ball.) I competed in 10 different track and field events in high school. And in college, I competed in 4 track & field events at the University of Wisconsin,

Those years of athletic competitions were not only great fun, they were motivating. When you are competing you are testing yourself. You are pushing yourself to improve. You are either getting better or getting worse. And when there is always a win or a loss in the balance your actions and your days have meaning. (Even without Webster.)

A common theme among athletes is that they feel lost and struggle with their identity after their athletic careers end. Because their field of competition was central to their self-identity. Their life was set to the seasons of competition and preparation. And the competition gave them purpose and direction.

But I never felt lost without athletic competition. Even before I had Waze and Google Maps on my phone.

After Athletics

Today, I am a long way past my college athletics. But I still experience that competitive drive every day. In fact, my life is filled with more motivating competition than ever before.

11 Ways I am competing and keeping score today:

The first thing I do when I get out of bed each morning is weigh myself. I track my weight every day. Knowing that I am competing with the scale each morning drives my exercise and eating behaviors every day. This morning I weighed exactly what I weighed when I graduated from college.

I compete in reading. I always try to read more this year than last. I am currently on pace to read 40 books this year, my best year ever. My reading also feels like I am winning my competition to get smarter. So every time I sit down to read a few pages (I never read standing up) I feel like I am winning.

I compete with my net worth. I track it, grow it, and set goals for it. I enjoy this personal competition and the positive returns it provides.

I compete in book sales. I track the sales of my book What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? And I think about actions that help move more books. I get a score every month from my publisher. This is a fun competition with myself, and Dr. Suess.

I also compete as a speaker. Writing a book has created a lot of speaking opportunities. I try to speak to as many people each year as I can. I talk at schools, to companies, teams, conferences, trade shows, Rotary Clubs and Chambers of Commerce. (Which my son Magnus says sounds like a Harry Potter thing: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Commerce…)

I compete in the gym, lifting weights, trying to get stronger than yesterday. (Like the Beetles said.)

I compete in business at The Weaponry. Not only do I work to grow our business, but our team competes to help our clients grow and win in their industries too.

I compete as the coach of my son Magnus’ 7th grade football team. As the defensive coordinator, I compete each week to help our team stop our opponents. I spend a surprising amount of time in my late evenings watching game film of 7th graders playing football in order to win this competition.

I compete as the girl’s track team throwing coach at Homestead High School in Mequon, Wisconsin. My daughter Ava is on the team. I compete to help my girls set personal records, win meets, win championships, and rise on the school, state, and national rankings.

I compete for quality time spent with my family. Meal time, conversations in cars and kitchens, time coaching, helping with homework, watching movies, and taking walks. They all add up. And they are all valuable.

I compete to get this blog written and published 3 times per week. It is not easy to keep a blog going. You have to make it a competition. This is my 916 blog post.

But Why?

All of this competition gives me a competitive fire every morning when I get out of bed. The same kind of fire I had as an athlete. I look forward to each day, energized, like a drumming bunny toy. I take on each day with a scorecard for success that covers many areas of my life. And each night when I lay down to sleep I know whether or not I won the day.

Key Takeaway

If you want more meaning, more energy and more fire in your life, find areas to compete. Physical, business, reading, relationshipping, volunteering, coaching, playing, or weight loss. Anything that you want to do well and keep improving. Set benchmarks and keep raising them and pushing yourself. It’s an exciting way to feel like you are winning at life.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.