When you receive feedback from the world you process it with one of two devices in your noggin.
Your Growth Processer
Your Defense Processor.
The Growth Processer says: I have the ability to get better with this feedback. I can learn and improve and enhance my abilities and capacity. It acknowledges that you have room for improvement, and you have discovered an opportunity to press your advantage further. Think of this as the Billy Joel Processor. Because it starts evaluating feedback by saying, You may be right.I may be crazy.
The Defense Processor says: I should not change. I am already where I should be. The world doesn’t know what I know.There are important reasons for doing what I am doing and I need to defend against change or modification. I need to build a wall to protect my processes, decisions and style. Because they are not only as good as they ever need to be, they are better than anyone else. Therefore, I need to defend against decay. Think of this as the Donald Trump Processor. Because like Franks Redhot, he uses his defense processor on everything. Which offers a sense of confidence and superiority. But it prevents all possibility of growth and improvement. (Because just imagine how many times his hairdresser offered up a less imaginative hairdo.)
Real-World Example (But not from the MTV Show.)
If you are part of a race team you have to always be looking for ways to get faster. Speed is growth in racing. Everything that ultimately leads to speed should be sought out, embraced, and accepted. It’s simple. It’s scientific. It’s how you get better faster.
Key Takeaway
Always look for opportunities to improve. Find the valuable gems in your feedback. Consider everything. Think like a race team. Seek out and soak up everything that presses your advantage forward. It will help you get a little bit better every day.
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Have you ever noticed that when apples break their stematic bonds with trees that they fall to the ground? Sir Isaac Newton noticed. And with this simple observation, he discovered gravity. Which we have come to know as the planetary pull. Gravity is the force that pulls us towards Earth. It also keeps the moon and all of the satellites in orbit. Including the Georgia Satellites. (So don’t give me no lines and keep your hands to yourself.)
But planets aren’t the only ones that create gravity. All heavenly bodies do. And you do too. Even if your body is no longer heavenly.
However, not all gravity is created equal. Which is why you feel like you weigh less on the moon than you do on the Earth. It’s why you feel heavier on Saturn or Jupiter. And it’s why you feel lazy when you are on your Uranus.
Your Gravitational Pull
Your personal gravitational pull is a result of the value you create for others and the energy you radiate. The more value you offer and the more energy you emit the more personal attraction you create.
There is an easy way to evaluate your own gravitational pull. Just look at the people you are attracting and ask yourself these 3 questions:
What kind of people are you attracting? This indicates the quality of your gravity.
Are you attracting many or are there few? This indicates the quantity of your gravity.
Is their orbit growing closer to you or drifting farther away? This indicates your relative growth.
Key Takeaway
The great sign of growth and improvement as a human is to look at who is in your orbit. As you grow wiser and kinder you will attract more and better people. Positive energy attracts. Negative energy repels. Dedicate yourself to improving your personal gravity. It will not only improve your own life, but it will improve the lives of those around you. It will attract more great people to your orbit. And that, my friends, is heavenly.
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Everyone makes mistakes. Will Smith reminded us of that on Sunday night. And if you are a learning, growing, improving human your mistakes make you better prepared for the next challenge life throws your way. And life is going to throw more challenges your way. It’s what life does.
Early in my career, I made a mistake kinda like Will Smith’s. Granted, there were no Oscars involved. It was not on national television. I wasn’t mad at Chris Rock for saying that my wife looked like one of the fittest, most beautiful Hollywood actresses of all time. (You go Demi!) And I didn’t actually touch anyone.
But I did overreact to a coworker who had done something wrong.
In the moments that followed my overreaction, my boss gave me one of the most valuable lessons I have learned in my career. He simply and calmly told me:
‘When you are right, don’t respond in a way that makes you have to apologize.‘
It was great advice. It perfectly reframed my mistake for me. I could see that I was in the right, until I wasn’t. Yes, I had been wronged. But I became wronger. The court of public opinion would have acquitted me, until my behavior was such that they could no longer support me. #IWishIKnewHowToAcquitYou…
For two decades now that piece of advice has been written into my decision-making code. When I am processing how to respond to aggravations, slights, irritations, and insults I frequently access that code. And it always helps me make better decisions. As a result, I don’t give my power of rightness back to those who have wronged me.
Key Takeaway
When you are right, don’t respond in a way that makes you have to apologize.
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Every year, throughout your career, you will gain another year of valuable experience. Which means that you will get a little bit smarter every year. This process of steady improvement could go on for 40 or 50 years. The accumulated knowledge makes you more capable and more valuable to your organization. Which leads to more responsibility and more income. Which is good.
The problem is that everyone else who started their career when you did is gaining knowledge and experience at the same pace. So while you are growing as an individual, you are maintaining pace with the cohort who began their careers when you did. Which is like the nuclear arms race. Only without the threat of global destruction and Olympic figure skater subplots.
The Key To A Highly Succesful Career.
The key to a highly successful career is to outpace your peers. This means that instead of gaining 1 year of experience and knowledge in 1 year, you gain 2 years in one. Or 3 years in 1. Heck, why not gain 20 years of experience in just 12 months? That’s what Doogie Howser would do.
How Do You Do This?
To pack multiple years of growth into one year you can’t simply rely on your own experiences. You have to borrow from others. Luckily, there are many ways to absorb mass quantities of knowledge and experience from others in a short time. And none of them involve cannibalism.
1. Books. Books are quite literally the lessons and experiences learned by others, captured and summarized for you. Which means that you can buy 10, 20 or 40 years of knowledge and experience for under $30. Crazy, right? (Do this.)
2. Workshops: Workshops are designed to put you through time-compressed experiences to help you improve your skills at a highly accelerated pace. During a workshop, there are eyes on you to make sure you learn how to perform a task the ideal way. You receive quick and constructive feedback. It’s the kind of feedback that may have taken you years or decades to receive on your own. Especially if you and your Swingline stapler are still stuck in the basement.
3.Coaching: Coaching comes in many forms. From actual career, business or executive coaches. From mentors. From experts who take you under their wings. Coaches feed you their knowledge and experience like a mama bird feeds a baby bird. Which means they are directly regurgitating their knowledge into you. Just not usually by barfing it in your face.
4.Podcasts: Podcasts drop knowledge like an audio college. Podcasts are often great knowledge aggregators that share insights, ideas and experiences from many different perspectives. It’s easy to listen to a podcast while doing something else, like commuting, mowing the lawn, or sitting at your child’s sporting or religious event.
5.Blogs: Blogs are full of smart, informative and actionable tips. They usually come at you fast-paced with dense growth nutrition. Eat that stuff up. If you need a blog to subscribe to I suggest adamalbrecht.blog.
6. Magazines: Magazines that are specific to your industry or role are extremely helpful. The great advantage here is that the knowledge is purposefully fresh and well-polished by a professional staff. There are many different topics covered in every issue which has the potential to add a lot to your knowledge base every month. Pro Tip: Choose magazines where everyone wears clothes.
7. Documentaries: I love watching a film or TV show about a successful person. It’s an easy way to learn what made them successful. Then simply start doing what they did. You just may end up with your own documentary.
Next Level
To gain the most knowledge and experience in the shortest amount of time, stack multiple knowledge sources. Read books, listen to podcasts, and attend workshops. Or any combination that works best for you. The pace at which you gain knowledge will quickly surpass your peers. It will turn heads. And make you seem like you are smarter and more capable than others in your competitive set. Then you will Usain Bolt past those in front of you. You’ll be surprised how quickly you can overtake others who are gaining one year of experience per year.
Key Takeaway
Don’t settle for the natural pace of growth and improvement. Accelerate your knowledge, experience and skill acquisition by learning from other people. The accelerated path is available to anyone interested. But far too few people take the opportunity. Be one of those who do. It’s possible to pack a decade of growth into one year. And you will feel yourself pulling away from others. And when you do, make sure to share what you have learned so that others can benefit from you.
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Have you ever run out of gas? I have. I did it on purpose.
I was in my early 20s and home from college for the summer in Vermont. It seemed like knowing how far your car could go on empty was a valuable life lesson. Did E Really Mean E? Or was the needle on the fuel gauge of my 1982 Ford Escort just the little needle who cried E? Inquiring minds want to know.
On a warm June morning, I planned my knowledge-seeking pilgrimage. I called a friend and told him that I expected to run out of gas somewhere along my route that morning. I gave him a specific time to come look for me. And to bring some fuel.
Then I left my parents’ house and drove down a quiet country road in Vermont. And if you have ever been to Vermont you know that a quiet country road in Vermont is a redundant statement. Or maybe a redundant redundant statement.
About 5-miles into my trip, I ran out of gas and rolled to a stop on the side of the road. Minutes later my friend arrived with some spare gas. I gave the car 1 gallon of petro from the classically red gas can. I fired the car back up, and drove it to the nearest gas station a mile or so down the road and filled the tank with 12 gallons of gas.
How Low Can You Go?
As I climbed back into my car, not only was my tank full of gas, my brain was full of new knowledge. I now knew how far my car could go on empty. I knew what my car did after it drank its last drops. I knew that a good backup plan minimized the impact of running out of gas. And I knew how far I could safely push things in the future. Or as Salt N’ Peppa said, I now knew I could push it real good.
I have applied this same limit-seeking approach to other areas of my life. Because I want to find my real limits. Not for limit’s sake. But so that I know what the possibilities are. I want to know how far I can really push myself before I can’t go any farther. Most people never do this. But we all should.
Key Takeaway
Explore your outer bounds. You should know where the real limitations are. Know when your car will really run out of gas. But also know your real limits are for strength, work, endurance, and pain. Find the edge. It is the only way to know how much you are truly capable of. It’s more than you think.
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In 2016, after having been an employee of three successful companies for 19 years, I became an entrepreneur. I left behind the predictable employment, the benefits, the 401(k) and the Free Lunch Fridays.
I pushed all my chips to the center of the table and bet on myself when I launched the advertising and idea agency, The Weaponry.(The chip reference was supposed to be a poker thing. Not a potato chip thing. #JustClarifying)
Me and a wall at The Weaponry.
But when I left my job as the Executive Vice President and Executive Creative Director of the largest advertising agency in Atlanta to start my own business it never seemed crazy to me. Because I knew a lot of other people who had started successful businesses. They seemed a lot like me. And they all looked like they were fed, sheltered and clothed. (Wait, yep, they were definitely clothed.)
My man Troy Allen started a design agency before starting the wildly successful Rise Brands.
I knew a bloggle of bloggers before I launched this blog.
I knew a stockyard of people who invested in stocks before I bought stocks.
I knew a neighborhood worth of people who owned rental property before I properly rented my property.
Writing my own book didn’t seem hard. Not even the hardcover.
Always Remember:
You Are Becoming More Like The People You Spend Your Time With.
Your peer group is your mirror group. To upgrade your likelihood of success upgrade your friends. Surround yourself with doers and diders. It creates positive peer pressure that pushes you to do better, more impressive things. The Joneses I know are badasses. And I want to keep up with all they are accomplishing. (Shout out to Bryan, Jill, Adam, Patti, Garrett, Kristen, Sharon, Courtney, Arnita and Rachel! Sorry you guys didn’t make it into that new truck commercial.)
My college teammate Bryan Jones is hard to keep up with, but I am trying.
Key Takeaway
Your friends are your on-ramp to success. Surround yourself with others who have already done the next big thing you want to do. It decreases the perceived degree of difficulty. It increases the odds of you successfully completing the same challenge. And the more successful your peers are the more insight they offer to all you can accomplish in your lifetime.
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Life is an all-you-can-eat buffet. And I want to devour it all. My mouth is watering every morning when I wake up. My alarm clock is like Pavlov’s dog’s dinner bell. It has me rising each morning like Drooly Andrews to the sound of that music.
There are 3 areas of life’s buffet that interest me most. And none of them are Charlie Sheen-ian.
My 3 Driving Desires
I want to know everyone.
I want to read everything.
I want to visit everywhere.
I know this trifecta is impossible to accomplish. Probably. I can’t actually go everywhere, read everything and meet everyone. After all, I am not the Pope. (The hat doesn’t work with my hairdo.) But even unfulfilled, these 3 desires are important drivers. Like Donald and Minnie.
Key Takeaway
These 3 food groups are essential to your growth, wisdom and creativity. These are the 3 great sources of knowledge. The person who devours the most will know the most. Because the more you know about people, places and things the more you know about life. And the more you know about life the more you know yourself.
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There is money, time and energy. You can use any of the 3 of them to acquire the things you want.
The exchange rate for these 3 currencies can vary greatly. And just like wampum, travelers checks and Chuck E Cheese tickets, there are good uses for each.
If you use money, you can have things quickly.
If you use energy you can force the things you want into existence.
If you use enough time you can get anything you want. But squander your time and you will get nothing, and not like it.
The combination of time and energy creates force. It is the amount of force you create that determines how quickly you attain the things you want.Including money.
Key Takeaway
Understand your currencies. Know which of them is most accessible to you right now. Know which one is most valuable for each of your needs. And budget them to get everything you want in the proper order.
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We all have multiple identities that form our self construct. When you were young they were simple. You were a boy or girl. A son or daughter. Maybe a brother or sister. Or perhaps you saw yourself as a Bo, Luke, or Daisy.
As you grow, evolve and participate in more activities you add identities. You become a student, a girl scout or a baseball player. Throughout your schooling and into your career your identities expand and multiply in interesting ways. All of which morph your self construct, without the need for hallucinogenics.
Your identities influence how you see yourself. But they also determine how the world sees you. Your identities help broaden your self-image and give you more flavor, complexity and stability.
I’m a father, adventurer and Corn Palace visitor.
Here’s a partial view of my identity stack:
Father
Husband
Son
Brother
Uncle
Friend
Christian
Entrepreneur
Creative
Marauder
Badger
Dude ( I recently entered this when asked for my gender)
Vermonter
Wisconsinite
Adveritisng professional
Blogger
Patriots fan
Bucks fan
Red Sox fan
Perpetually but non-offensively immature
Exerciser
Initiator
Problem Solver
Homeowner
Adventurer
Adding Identities
In the past year, I have added a surprising number of new identities to my self-concept. Especially for a seemingly full-grown human.
Coach
Before last spring I would never have called myself a coach. Despite the fact that I coached a youth flag football team for 3 seasons. That just felt like the type of coaching that non-coaches do because the kids need a coach to be able to have a team. In other words, I simply identified as a dad doing some coaching. It’s like a dad playing the role of a chaperone, instead of adding the identity of bodyguard, or animal tamer.
But last spring I became a legit high school track and field coach when I started coaching the shot put and the discus for Homestead High School’s girl’s track and field team in Mequon, Wisconsin. In fact, 2 weeks ago I attended an all-day and all-evening event for track and field coaches in Madison. That really made me feel like I should walk around with a whistle or a stopwatch around my neck. Although you don’t really need either of those things to coach the shot put.
This was my best day of coaching. All 4 of my athletes threw their best ever. And I wore the shortest socks I own.
Then, last fall I began coaching youth tackle football. That was a multiple-times per week thing. With real strategy, conditioning and hype. I have a logoed polo, a hat and a picture of me and other coaches and 16 boys in full uniform looking very serious together to prove that I am now also a youth football coach.
Me and Magnus after our last game of the season. We played on turf, which is why neither of our uniforms are dirty or grass stained.
Author
The week before Christmas I published my first book called What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? Now, I add author to my self-identity. Despite the fact that I have been a blogger for nearly 7 years, author feels different. It’s more official, more difficult to attain. More respected by others. And authors get asked to sign their books way more often than bloggers get asked to sign their blog posts.
The time my first book emerged from its brown, paper Amazon cocoon. (As seen on the table.)
It’s hard not to add the author identity when the internet adds it for you. Here is how my online footprint has expanded since I published my book:
The other surprising new identity that I have added to my self-construct is Speaker. I have done a lot of public speaking throughout my life. Over the past couple of decades, I have seen myself as a business professional speaking about what I do or things I know. But now it feels different.
Me speaking to a round table at the Milwaukee Athletic Club. Here I am demonstrating the starting position for juggling watermelons.
Since I published the book I have received many requests to speak at local, state and national events. I have booked 6 speaking engagements in the past couple of weeks. It is an exciting and enjoyable new addition to my self-identity. And it helps me spread more positivity and inspiration with the world. Like Jonny Fortunecookieseed.
Dog Owner
As if all of this wasn’t enough, at the end of January I also got my first dog ever. Now I add dog owner or dog haver or whatever this makes me to my life resume. It may seem like a small thing compared to the attention you receive as an author, entrepreneur or public speaker. But when you come home to that wagging tail and face licks it is special. And when I am picking up dog poo, it’s hard to deny that I am a real Dog Dad.
Key Takeaway
Adding to your self-identity keeps you growing and evolving. More self-identities not only make you more interesting and creative, they add to your stability and resilience. Multiple identities help expand your social circle. They expand your reach and influence. The more identities you have the less likely that any one of them has the ability to negatively impact you. Conversely, the successes you experience in any identity helps to add to your overall self-esteem. All while making you a more interesting and valued contributor to your family, friends, communities, and planet. So go on with your bad selves.
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Work is unavoidable. Even outside of your professional work there is always personal work to be done. Your personal work falls into 3 categories:
Chores These are the basics you have to do daily, weekly, monthly or annually to maintain the status quo. (And to keep all your teeth.)
Electives These are the things you choose to do that set you apart from others. (Even without tattoos and piercings.)
Special projects These are the bigger challenges you take on that have the ability to transform you. (In non-surgical ways.)
Chores
Chores don’t come with a choice. You don’t have the option not to do them. Although you can choose not to do them well. Or often. Which drops you below the basic human level of acceptability. Which is a great way to get yourself on a TV show like Hoarders, Intervention, or My 600-pound Life. You can, however, choose to do your chores very well. Which is a good habit to get into, and sets the tone for how you approach everything else in life.
Electives
Electives are the things you do that you don’t have to do. These are the activities that separate you from others and help make you interesting. They give you flavor, like Flavor Flav. They create your differentiation and your unique advantages.
Your electives include your hobbies, and interests. They also include all of your self-education, reading, podcasts, studying and training. Your electives include exercise, cooking, and meditation. Seeing a therapist or a coach are great electives. As are writing, volunteering, coaching and creating music. If you have a hard time coming up with interests to include in your work bio, online dating profile or obituary, you probably need more electives.
If there is not much elective activity in your life then you are not doing as much as you could to create joy and competitive advantages. And you are probably not making the most of your time.
Evaluating your electives is a great place to start when evaluating your life, trajectory, happiness, and achievement. Happiness is rooted in your electives. Make sure you have them, and that you participate in them frequently enough to find enjoyment, fulfillment and growth.
Special Projects
Special projects create opportunities for transformation. They are often an expansion of an elective. Writing a book, going back to school and trips to an exotic location are all examples. So is starting a business, a major physical challenge, or a significant career change. Special projects often provide an inflection point in our human experience, sending us on new, better and more enlightened paths.
Key Takeaway
Make sure you are always dedicating time to your electives. They are your difference makers. They are the building blocks of an enjoyable life. They fertilize your happiness. Your electives are gateways to bigger, more important activities that can become defining events and undertakings of your life. It is hard to transition directly from chores to special projects. Your electives are the bridges that help get you there.
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