Category: personal development

Baby, you are a firework!

You are a firework.

Like Katy Perry said.

You are packed full of potential.

Potential to soar.

To shine.

To blow up in the best way possible.

You have the potential to create a big bang, Sheldon.

To turn heads like The Exorcist.

To make people ooh and ahh.

You have the ability to fill others with wonder.

To make people smile.

To grab the attention of those near and far.

Yes, the ability to glow, sparkle and light up the world is all inside you. Even if you are not a natural-born arsonist.

But like the firework, your potential requires a spark to ignite.

Your potential must be directed upward so that it soars instead of skids.

And it requires patience, like Axl Rose said.

It takes time to reach the height you are after.

It requires a steady stream of energy to prepare, propel and position yourself for your time to really shine.

But keep going.

Keep burning.

Keep climbing.

It will be worth the work.

And worth the wait.

Happy 4th of July.

Seek out inspiration that makes you dream differently.

I recently stopped into an REI in Medford, Oregon. My 13-year-old son Magnus has been growing like a legal weed. Which meant he needed a new pair of hiking boots as we began a family hiking adventure on the West Coast. Although a trip to REI is like a Costco run. You always buy things that weren’t on your shopping list. And those Darn Tough socks are darn tough to keep out of your shopping basket.

As we paid for the boots and socks for our party of 5, we also requested a National Parks annual pass. The cashier helping us inquired about our travel plans. We shared that we were hitting several great hiking spots, including nearby Mt. Shasta (which even sounds refreshing), Lake Tahoe (where they invented the large SUV) and Yosemite National Park (home of Sam the red mustached gunslinger).

When we mentioned Yosemite the woman’s eyes lit up and she swooned. She shared that both Mt. Shasta and Lake Tahoe are beautiful and great places to hike. Then she added:

“But Yosemite will change the way you dream.” -Swoony REI Associate in Medford, Oregon.

I loved that.

I had a lot of time to think about that statement during my 11 hours behind the wheel between Medford and Yosemite. I reflected on the things I have encountered throughout my life that changed the way I dream. They were special and varied. They are some of the greatest gifts of my life. They inspired me to explore the world and become an author and entrepreneur. They include:

  • Epic National Parks like Glacier, The Grand Canyon and The Rocky Mountain National Park
  • Entrepreneurs Ted Turner, Cornelius Vanderbilt, and Steve Jobs
  • Artists Walt Disney, Christoph Niemann and Gary Larson
  • Adventurers Lewis and Clark, Shackleton, and Red Bull
  • Writers Anne Lamott, Annie Proulx, Erik Larson, Stephen King, Daniel Pink and Ryan Holliday (which I say like Madonna)

Key Takeaway

Seek out places, experiences and people that change the way you dream. Discover influences that change your sense of what’s possible. That expand your belief in your own capabilities. Those sources provide tangible examples of what your world can look like. They move or remove boundaries, allowing your mind to travel farther than ever before. Once you’ve been exposed to enough possibilities you start to wonder if there actually are impossibilities. Which is when your dreams become biggest. Aim for that. There is nothing better.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The best way to respond to those who are better than you.

There’s a good chance that you are not the best at what you do. At least not the very best in the whole wide world. After all, there are 8 billion people squished on this planet. Which is why the line at the deli sometimes takes so long.

You will often find yourself surrounded by people who are better than you are at all kinds of things. Dancing, basketball, school, entrepreneurship, parenting, juggling, wearing clothes, or wearing no clothes.

When you find yourself surrounded by people who are better than you at something, use it as a source of inspiration, not intimidation.

Recognize how much more potential you have.

Study those who are better than you. They are an excellent resource. They are showing you what is possible. Borrow their approach. Steal their moves. Or be inspired by their originality.

You can be overt or covert in your approach. You can spy on them in secret. Or you can approach them and ask for their advice. Both work. I know. I’ve experimented. But if you get too close, the spying in secret is more likely to end with someone calling the cops. #thingsIlearnedthehardway

It is a gift to be exposed to those better than you. They force you to reevaluate and recalibrate. Allow yourself to be propelled by their positive peer pressure.

But to benefit from exposure to people who are better than you, you have to adopt a growth mindset. You have to believe that you are capable of more and better. When you do, the superior doesn’t make you feel inferior. It expands your mind and helps you see what you are capable of achieving.

Key Takeaway

Seek out other people who are better than you are. Surround yourself with them. They are a gift. They demonstrate what is possible. They provide a model for you to follow. It is your mindset that interprets the greatness in others as inspiration or intimidation. Always choose inspiration. It is the source from which all great improvement flows. Follow its path. And soon you will find others following you.

Writer’s Note:

At the Nike Outdoor National Track & Field Championships 2 weeks ago my daughter Ava threw against some of the best competition in the country. She had her second farthest throw ever in the discus. When I told her how proud I was of how she performed on the big stage she’s said. ‘When you find yourself surrounded by people who are better than you at something you have to use it as a source of inspiration, not intimidation.’ Which was the inspiration for this post.

+ In the cover photo for this post the man to the left of the podium is my legendary college track coach Ed Nuttycombe. It was a great full-circle moment for me to watch Nutty hand my daughter Ava her medal at the Myrhum Invite meet earlier this spring.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

The nice surprise at the end of my long day of trains, planes and automobiles.

Recently I had a long day of travel to the West Coast. It started with a 1-hour round-trip drive to drop off our Border Collie Lola at her Pet Lodge. Then we had a 1.5-hour drive to Chicago. Followed by a train ride from the remote parking lot to the terminal at O’Hare International Airport.

My family and I arrived 1.5 hours before our flight was scheduled to take off. But then the flight was delayed by 3 hours. Finally, after a 4.5-hour flight, we landed in the Pacific Northwest. (Note how adding the word Northwest dramatically changed the meaning of that last sentence.)

After we landed we proceeded to the rental car counter, picked up our car (not literally), and drove 30 minutes to the hotel. It had been quite a day. When I walked into the hotel I approached the front desk with a big smile and enthusiasm, which is my default mode. Immediately the two staff members at reception lit up and commented on how they loved my energy. Especially since it was well after 10pm.

The person checking me into my room asked to see my ID. I enthusiastically handed him my new license, which I had just renewed the week before. He exclaimed that I really brought the energy in my license photo too. The other person behind the front desk chimed in about it and mentioned that her driver’s license was from Hawaii. Which allowed me to drop some McLovin references. And we all had a SuperGoood laugh.

As we finished the check-in process the clerk handed me my room keys. They were to an upgraded room on the top floor of the hotel. Then he handed me my parking pass and said, ‘No charge for the parking tonight. Thank you for bringing such great energy to our hotel tonight.’

Key Takeaway

Your personal energy is one of the most valuable assets you can share with other people. You don’t have to be a rockstar or a motivational speaker to make people feel good. Just share your energy and your good attitude. It elevates moods. It transforms situations. It reminds us all what life feels like at its best. When you share your energy with the people around you, it helps them do the same. And the ripple effect helps make the world a better place. Heck, you might just get a better room and free parking out of it.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

What gets you high?

A couple of months ago I was at the airport in Atlanta, along with a few hundred thousand travel buddies, when one young man’s sweatshirt caught my attention. It was a simple black hoodie. On the front of the shirt, it said:

Music Gets Me High.

I loved the shirt. Not because music gets me high. But because the young man wearing it knew that music gets him high. And while I haven’t consulted with the Food and Drug Administration or Nancy Reagan, I expect that music provides a fairly safe way to get high. And somebody should tell that to Willie Nelson.

The shirt, and the young man wearing it, made me think that everyone should know what gets them high.

So the question of the day is:

What activities make you feel heightened and alive? Or euphoric? Or in flow?

This is a far more valuable question to ask yourself if the answer is not related to drugs or alcohol. In fact, the point of this prompt is to find the activities that make you feel great without the chemicals. This is particularly interesting to me because I have never drank or done drugs. But I engage in activities that make me feel great. But because my activities are positive and healthy, unlike Amy Winehouse, they are not trying to make me go to rehab.

So what gets you high?

Discover your most highly rewarding activities.

Find ways to do them more often.

And you will live a highly enjoyable life.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Have you thought about your personal curb appeal?

Everyone who has ever shopped for a home knows the term curb appeal. It refers to the immediate impression that a home makes when you pull up to it. It’s the real estate version of judging a book by its cover. Only it’s a really big book. And the cover features a circle driveway, begonias, and a couple of garden gnomes.

Brand Curb Appeal

Brands and businesses have to think about their curb appeal too. You have an opportune moment to impress your potential customers when they first encounter your brand. That first impression can either help sell or unsell customers before you even mention the advantages of your non-caloric, silicon-based kitchen lubricant on cereal. Or sledding hills.

Personal Curb Appeal

But it’s also important for us to think about our own personal curb appeal. When people encounter you for the first time what do they see? What do your clothes, shoes and hair signal? What does your posture say about you? What message is your face sharing with the world? Do you have RBF? Or PMF? (Post Malone Face)

Is there something in your personal curb appeal that helps you stand out from the crowd and makes you interesting, unique and memorable? If not, think about what that could be. What’s your signature attribute? Just as a home benefits from a beautiful door, noteworthy landscaping or remarkable lighting, you also benefit from your memorable differentiators.

If you don’t yet have any memorable differentiators, now is a great time to discover something that serves you well. It could be something about the way you dress. Hats, shirts, ties, pants, belts, socks and shoes are all great options for creating interest and distinctiveness. So are other accessories, like watches, glasses, purses, canes and monocles. And you will really stand out if you rock 2 monocles at once.

But your personal curb appeal can also be enhanced by the way you carry yourself. Your visible energy, warmth, friendliness, happiness, charisma, kindness or professionalism can make a strong first impression, even from across the room, or across the street. Those attributes help make you immediately noticeable, likable, recognizable, and several other ables that are able to create immediate and lasting advantages for you.

Key Takeaway

It is important to consider your personal curb appeal. A home’s curb appeal helps increase the perceived value of the home. Your personal curb appeal will do the same for you. It helps you get noticed. It helps people remember you. It will inspire others to seek you out. Which helps improve your network and exposes you to more and better opportunities. You’ll find that life is better when great people and great opportunities are magnetized to you.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Here’s the most underrated influence on your growth and improvement.

Comfort vs Discomfort

It is one of the most interesting battles in the human experience.

We have an innate drive to seek comfort. To find safety. To avoid suffering, pain and awkwardness. Which is why we keep those pictures taken during puberty tucked safely away, only to resurface in wedding reception videos.

But if we give in to our desires for comfort our world shrinks. Our growth stops. And we squander our time on a couch, in bed, or on a lounger at the beach attempting to explain away our shrinkage.

But there is another epic force within all humans. The desire for growth. The yearning for self-improvement. The hunger for badassery. (Which science has proven to be even greater than the hunger for whatever you gave up for Lent. #peanutM&Ms)

The Power of Discomfort

Human growth is stimulated by discomfort.

That discomfort comes in many forms.

Putting yourself in new and novel situations.

Pushing your body physically to the bounds of your strength or stamina.

Trying new unnatural behaviors and responses.

Attempting techniques that feel foreign.

Applying the non-intuitive.

To become the best version of yourself, abandon the safe and face the threatening.

Because each time you do, you grow. You learn. You expand. You strengthen. You improve. And you increase in valuable ways.

Helen Keller, one of the greatest growth artists in human history (but a terrible driver) put it this way:

‘Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.’ -Helen Keller

Question for you:

How much time, energy and thought do you put into making yourself comfortable? Compare that to how much you focus on creating personal discomfort. As you change that ratio you will change your life.

Key Takeaway

To become the best version of yourself it is important to get comfortable with discomfort. Seek it out. Create it. Embrace it. Because discomfort is the condition that precedes all growth and improvement.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Want to be an overachiever? Here’s the simple formula.

My friend Steve recently left me an interesting voicemail. He called to talk about some of my kids’ recent successes. But I couldn’t answer when he called because I was busy with kids’ stuff. It felt like I was living the lyrics from a sappy country song that you might use for a graduation or wedding video. (I will totally be making that video, with that song.)

When I listened to Steve’s voicemail, the following line stood out:

‘Wow! From what you have been sharing on social media lately it looks like your kids are really overachievers!

-Supportive Steve

Specifically, the word overachievers donged in my head. (Kinda like the dong you hear every time you see Long Duk Dong in 16 Candles.)

I know that Steve was being kind. And, yes, I share my 3 teenage children’s successes on the socials. But I never thought of my kids as overachievers. So I asked my wife Dawn if she thought our children were overachievers. She laughed and fired back an emphatic No! So I knew I wasn’t crazy. Or a bad dad. (At least not for this.)

So I found myself analyzing the word Overachiever. Overachieving is really about exceeding expectations. That is not what is happening with my children. In fact, my 3 kids are generally at the standards we have set together.

This is a result of 4 important factors.

  1. We have discovered and supported our children’s talents and interests.
  2. We have set reasonably high standards.
  3. We think long-term, and set long-term goals
  4. We believe in the power of compounded effort.

As a result, our children have put a significant amount of effort into various combinations of academics, music, and athletics. (There also has been a significant amount of effort put into not emptying the dishwasher.) And you get out of life what you put in.

The Not-So-Secret Formula

The key to achievement is to identify your talents and interests. Then work consistently to develop them into strengths over a long period of time. This means several years. Or decades. When you do you will pull away from those who dabble at the same activities.

Because when you doggy paddle you don’t make much progress. But if you learn a basic swim stroke, and apply it repeatedly, day after day, year after year, you can swim across an ocean. And when you get to the far shore, people will say, Wow! You swam across a frick’n ocean! How did you do that? The answer is simple. ‘I learned a swim stroke, and just kept repeating it until I ran out of water.’

Success is usually some combination of the following two areas:

1. Gaining strength or stamina

2. Refining technique

Both of these things are done slowly over time. Most people don’t have the patience to stick with these activities long enough. They become bored. Or distracted. Or don’t feel like the effort is paying off fast enough. But if you stick with your activities long enough you will find yourself in another world. Thanks to the compounding effect of your efforts.

So what is overachieving? It is simply normal achieving, done consistently over a longer timeframe.

Key Takeaway

To become an overachiever, find your talents and interests. Do the little things you need to do to improve in those areas. Practice your technique. Work on your strength. Build your stamina. And then just don’t stop. Eventually, those efforts will carry you past all of those who put in less effort, inconsistent effort, or stop working altogether. When you surpass those who achieve the norm, you will be considered an overachiever. And people will call you to congratulate you.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

You are going to make mistakes. And when you do, make sure to forgive yourself.

To be successful at anything you have to try. Trying is the requirement that proceeds all progress and growth. But when you try, things don’t always work out the way you planned. Sometimes you fail. Sometimes you make mistakes. And sometimes you have an epic wardrobe malfunction.

Failure and mistakes come in all shapes and denominations. I have made a frajillion mistakes as an entrepreneur, writer, speaker, coach, parent, husband, son, brother, friend, neighbor and driver. Heck, I once dropped my 6-month-old over a railing at a Zoo. I have made so many mistakes you could fill a museum with them. But if you do, make sure to put it on a large piece of land. Because like Boeing, you will need to keep adding wings for all the mistakes I still have in store.

While I certainly make mistakes and get things wrong on my self-improvement journey, I also do something right. I recognize that making mistakes is part of the process. So I don’t beat myself up over them.* In fact, I am quick to forgive myself for my mistakes and move on. (*When Dr. Dre wears Beats by Dre headphones, does he feel like he is beating himself up?)

Because I am quick to forgive my mistakes, they don’t eat away at my confidence. I expect mistakes and recognize that I am nowhere near perfect. So the blemishes and shortcomings and missteps don’t damage my self-construct. Conversely, I expect to learn from my mistakes. And I expect to steadily improve as a result. Because that’s what I was born to do. #warmitupchris

Easter had me thinking a lot about forgiveness. In fact, once you get past the bonnets, bunnies and brunch, you remember that Easter is all about the forgiveness of sins. And sin is just a short biblical word for mistake. In the Christian faith, Jesus was the ultimate forgiver. (That guy was dying to forgive people.) That was really his main thing. Plus, he invented a very popular necklace. You’ve probably seen it.

Holding on to your mistakes and focusing on them is the biggest mistake you can make. The best thing to do is acknowledge your mistakes, study their causes, learn from them, and put systems and processes in place to prevent them from happening again. Then move on. Recognize the value in your mistakes. Profit from them. Even thank them for the lesson. And then leave them behind. You are not your mistakes. They are simply a byproduct of having a human experience.

Key Takeaway

Mistakes are an unavoidable result of trying. It’s hard to get things right all the time. Especially when you are interacting with other complicated humans. But the big mistake is dwelling on your mistakes too long. Learn the lesson. Let them help you grow and improve. Then forgive yourself. It will lighten your load and prevent you from becoming a problem to yourself. Remember, you have to be your own greatest advocate. That includes giving yourself permission to get things wrong, forgiving your mistakes, and always believing that tomorrow you will be better than you are today.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.

Why no one else can see the most important work you do.

Your self-improvement work is not obvious work. It is not showy. No one can watch you do it. It would be pretty boring to watch in a zoo. Or in a red-light district. Because it happens on the inside. In fact, the most important work you do is changing your mindset, your beliefs and your habits. And not just changing. Upgrading.

Upgrading Yourself

Upgrading your thoughts is big. Upgrading your responses is huge. Upgrading your whole operating system changes everything.

This is why education is so important. It exposes you to new ideas that you can incorporate into your own thinking. But it is not enough to educate. The application is where the value appears. So you must first understand that there is a better way, then act in that better way. This is the basic plot of the movie Billy Madison. (This classic film also includes important reminders of the power of nepotism and some top-shelf potty humor.)

The More You Learn…

Develop the habit of learning new ideas. This is done through curiosity and a desire for self-improvement. It will lead you to seek and find new and better sources of information. You’ll find it in classes, books, articles, podcasts, blogs, videos, experts, and fortune cookies. (And even in books about fortune cookies.)

Apply Your Knowledge

Once you have better information, it becomes knowledge. Applying your knowledge in your various roles makes you a more valuable contributor.

Think about everything that you know you should do today. Eat right. Sleep well. Exercise. Read. Work in focused and productive ways. Invest in your relationships. Invest your money. Give back. See a doctor. Floss. Close your barn door. You and everyone else on the planet know that you should be doing those things.

But are you doing them?

There are two types of people:

  1. People who know the basic actions they should take. (This includes nearly everyone.)
  2. People who take the basic actions they know they should take. (This includes far less than everyone.)

This means that basic action is the great separator of people. But go beyond the basics. The things everyone knows they should do. Self-education helps you level up. It helps you discover the other things should you be doing if you want to be even more valuable in your career, as a spouse, parent, or friend. What is the next level of health and fitness? What is the next level of investing? Or productivity? Or spiritual enlightenment? That knowledge comes from more curiosity and more self-directed learning.

Just like a pyramid, that may or may not have been built by aliens, there are fewer and fewer people at each level as you ascend. Which means that the success pyramid is really a matter of attaining knowledge and then applying that knowledge. To take a full step higher you have to do both: attain and apply. Because it is the person who applies their new knowledge and self-improvement that is ultimately successful.

Key Takeaway

Always be learning. Educate yourself on new and better approaches to all areas of life and work. This is the invisible work of self-improvement. Then put that knowledge into action. And when you do it will change your life in ways that everyone will see.

*If you know someone who could benefit from this message, please share it with them.

+For more of the best life lessons I have learned check out my book, What Does Your Fortune Cookie Say? from Ripples Media.